Archive for the ‘fantasy’ Category

Ten of Cups

Symbol– He truly and deeply realizes how much he loves her. She realizes that she is the Holy Grail that all men seek but no man may have.

Meaning- Realization

After she leaves him, he realizes how much she really meant to him. He realizes that he truly loved her after all and that she had so much more to offer than he ever realized.

He had been wasting his life and his potential letting her do everything and never telling her how important she was to him. He took everything that she did for granted and now it is too late. She is gone forever and no one can ever replace her in his heart.

He places her on a pedestal and worships her memory. All that he remembers are the good times that they had together and now those good times are gone. He is freely generating lower emotional energy now of sorrow and sadness.

He is creating a life for himself of sadness and misery. This experience is an important one for him because he is becoming a deeper and more caring person. He is more aware of the needs of others now than ever before.

She knows that he loves her deeply and it hurts her to leave him but she also knows that her goals in life are not compatible with his goals in life. If they stayed together it would just be a life of misery for both of them.

It is far better to release him to follow his dream and for her to follow her dream. She knows that someday he will find someone else that is a better match for him. She also knows that she wants to be free to find her special person too.

She feels a sense of renewal and excitement as her new life unfolds before her. She knows that her desires will someday come true and she acts with conviction.
Society is against her this time and she feels social pressure to conform to the norm and go back to him but she refuses. She rebels violently against all that would confine her and prevent her from her true purpose and goal in life.

Male experience:

He feels hurt and anger that she would leave him. He is generating the lower emotions of pain and sorrow and his life becomes filled with these new emotions.
He never realized how much she meant to him until after she was gone. He never deserved someone like her. She was so good for him. He knows that he will never find anyone else like her.

Female experience:

She knows that he loves her and she loves him too. But he is not right for her. The love that they share is not the type of love that she really longs for. No matter how much that they try they will never really be able to meet each other’s needs because they are too different.

She feels joy and excitement in her new found freedom and reacts violently against anyone that tries to pressure her into going back to him. She knows what she is doing and she knows that someday he will find someone that is better for him than she is.

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Five of Cups

Symbol- young woman’s lover is killed at her feet. She is made captive by victor

Meaning- entrapment

He is generating a full supply of emotional energy and absorbing all of her excess emotional energy. As it combines with his energy he gains the ability to astral project and have astral adventures. He is able to sustain an astral body at will.

He has the ability to do dream work. This means that during his dreams he is able to alter the outcome. His dreams represent his potential future and by altering these dreams he is able to alter his future. He takes an active role in trying to astrally contact the girl he is interested in and gets more of her emotional energy. As he does this he alters the astral events she has created into events that are more to his liking. They are not working together.

She is trying to astrally draw her ideal mate to her. Her ideal mate is a lot like her and they have many things in common. Her friend is trying to destroy this future and draw her to himself instead. They are in conflict about what they are trying to accomplish.

As these astral events progress she finds the man of her dreams and falls in love but her old friend ruins the relationship for her. If not in the physical world he is trying to change it in the astral world.

She has already created the future she wants and is trapped within the very thing she has created. It has become a part of the collective and she no longer has the ability to alter it. She can’t defend the future she has created and watches helplessly as her dreams fall apart into ruins through his alterations.
He knows she is the perfect person for him. She is everything that he is not.

She is his soulmate, his missing half. He will do anything, fight anyone to win her love. He is frustrated with her refusal of him and his desire drives him to try pressuring her into a relationship. He won’t take anything else for an answer. She is beginning to feel afraid. She has no desire to have a deeper relationship with him but the shear force of his personality is impossible to resist. He is too powerful for her and he drives off the one she really loves.
She feels herself sucked into this nightmare relationship helplessly against her will. She is completely at his mercy.

Male experience:

She is the perfect one for him and he will convince her of it no matter how hard she resists. Sooner or later she must realize they are meant to be together. He absorbs all of her excess emotional energy and his dreams become vivid and realistic. He has dreams about her with another man and he fights this man in astral battles to win her back.

He is fighting back in his dreams and changes the outcome of them. Each time he confronts a problem in his dreams and defeats it he feels a gain in power. He is creating the type of life he wants to live by astrally fighting for it.

Female experience:

She has created the astral future she desires and it has become part of the collective. She is trapped within the version of her future that the collective gives her. She is forced to watch in horror as the dream life that she astrally created is torn apart piece by piece.
Instead of being drawn toward the one she loves she is helplessly enmeshed in a relationship with someone she doesn’t love.

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Prince Of Cups

The Prince of Cups is related to other cards in the Tarot. He contains the elements of the Tarot Trump cards THE TOWER and THE STAR. The Prince is also related to the SIX of CUPS, SEVEN of CUPS, and EIGHT of CUPS. His Element is Water. His power is Water of Water.

He is strongly aware of his physical environment and of what is going on around him. Green is one of his favorite colors and he wears it when he can.

He has a strong aura and gives off energy that others can sense. He has a natural healing ability that he uses to heal and help others. He also has the strong ability to prevent negative astral events from becoming physical reality by transmuting those energies into more harmless energies.

This healing aspect is very strong and his physical body is resistant to any illness or injury. It also works as a type of armor against any psychic attacks. In all he is very well protected.
He is very loyal and honest to a fault. He will not be corrupted from what he feels is the right thing. Being true to his own convictions is the most important thing in his life.

Sometimes this works against him and he lets people take advantage of him. At times his happiness and pleasure are suddenly blocked and he feels trapped and helpless, perhaps even fearful. This happens when he lets others gain control of his life against and they try to force him into actions against his will.

He suffers occasionally a deep intense physical pain that is a result of damaged nerves. There is a deterioration of his nervous system that causes this pain.

He doesn’t have the ability to astral project because he doesn’t have the energy needed to sustain a permanent astral body. His energy is too easily lost or given away to others.

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Queen Of Cups

The Queen of Cups is related to many of the cards in the Tarot. She contains the elements of the Tarot Trump cards THE TOWER and THE STAR. The Queen is also related to the SIX of SWORDS, SIX of CUPS, SEVEN of SWORDS, SEVEN of CUPS, EIGHT of SWORDS and EIGHT of CUPS.

Her Element is Water. Her power is Air of Water.

She has an interest in both ceramics and weaponry. She is adept at magic and is master of the cone of power of magnetic force. With it she can strongly attract or repel whom or what she wishes. She has an enormous amount of power at her disposal and has a magnetic personality that strongly attracts or repels others.

She has a strong awareness of her physical environment and what is going on around her. Still she is often prevented from doing what she wants through a lack of energy or decadent state where she would rather live with what she has than put out the effort to get something else. There is almost chronic depression and inactivity that is very hard for her to beak out of. If it is not effortless she is not interested in doing it.

She is a supreme master of communication, music, and song. These things are very important in her life as a patron of the arts. Much of her time is spent conforming with society’s expectations and doing what others want her to do. She is often prevented from doing the things she would really like to do.
At times she suffers from severe pain that seems to come and go without any real physical cause and is not treatable. No one can do anything about the sharp stabbing pain that is not tolerable.

She lives out her destiny without any significant changes or alterations to it throughout her entire life. She is very aware of what role she is expected to play and does not deviate from that role if she can help it.

She is a medium and psychic. She can generate a luminous ectoplasm type substance and has encounters with ghosts and other spirits of the lower Magical planes. She also is prone to having vivid and lifelike astral visions. Sometimes it is hard to tell what is real and what is not real.

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Ace of Swords

symbol– they date, he is awkward and uncomfortable. She flirts with him.

Meaning- union.

The Ace of Swords represents mental energy and conscious awareness of the opposite sex.
This marks the beginning of social dating. He has learned to not push for a more serious relationship and tries to be content with enjoying social activities together. He learns to relax and enjoy the moments for what they really are, shared time together.

She has learned he is a person with feelings that can easily be hurt. She spends more time getting to know the real person he is. She is more willing to stay in a relationship than she was before. She is ready to give this one an honest try.
This is an explosive mix as he tries to keep the relationship on a social level that is safe for them both. He has already been hurt and is not keen on being hurt again.

Her efforts to get to know him are very intimate and personal. She doesn’t want to know his dreams and goals as much as she wants to know who he really is, his good points and bad points.

She also wants to know how he feels about her and if she is sexually attractive to him.

The first idealism of youth is gone and both are looking at the relationship from a more practical perspective. Now they are exchanging mental energy instead of spiritual energy.

He generates mental energy by transmuting spiritual energy. It is time for turning his spiritual and idealistic goals into reality. This is harder than it seems because reality and altruistic goals do not often come together smoothly.

As he begins to exchange mental energy with her they talk about life and its restrictions. Together they exchange views on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. The merging of his male energy and her female energy brings these issues into sharp focus. The interaction between them helps both to become clear on what they believe.

They learn about what is expected of them and what they expect of each other. They try to compromise between what they want out of life and what society wants out of them. They are frustrated, why can’t they have the type of life they want to have? Why does life seem so unfair? Why are there so many obstacles placed in their way?

She has an excess of readily available energy from birth and he can only generate small amounts at a time. While he is trying to understand the socially acceptable thing he must do, She has jumped ahead of him and decided that society is a restrictive force to be rebelled against.

Male experience:

He determines to take control of his life and fulfill his dreams. With an act of will and courage he begins dating again. This is a time for fun and not for a serious relationship. He learns quickly that certain behaviors are acceptable and others are not.

He learns there are consequences to his actions and he must act responsibly in life. He has to do the socially acceptable thing if he is going to succeed. He must do it by the book.

Female experience:

She is interested in him as a person and begins dating him. She is carefree and rebels against the socially acceptable. She likes to toy and flirt and see what she can get away with. She wants to explore sensual pleasures and enjoys pulling his strings.

She feels confined by social roles that tell her what she can and can’t do. Instinctively she understands she must do her own thing to be totally free. She is looking for excitement. She enjoys her time with him exploring the bounds of forbidden behavior.

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Chapter 27

He had left her in the darkness to meditate. Now he was coming back with her torch and her black clothing. Gruffly he told her to put the 2nd degree clothing on. She turned her back and stripped. He was watching her naked body. The bruises were healing and he wanted her. Slowly she turned around and faced him. Her long red hair framed her breasts. She looked beautiful to him. He reached toward her and they clung together kissing as her body pressed against his. His lips seeking hers desperately as hers were seeking his. His hands were feeling her body and her scent was wonderful. They stopped and looked at each other.

“This isn’t in the script!” Tobal quipped.

She smiled and began putting on her 2nd degree clothing. Then they went together toward the main circle for the initiation. Things went well until Becca found herself surrounded by the six menacing darkly hooded figures she was told she needed to fight. Tobal thought he went crazy at times during battle but Becca was scary. With a scream of rage that shook him to his core he watched as she mowed the six figures down like so much grass. She was obviously an advanced martial artist with an axe to grind and she wasn’t holding anything back.

The first two got broken ribs before they knew what hit them. The first fell from a savage front kick that broke through his guard. In a smooth fluid motion a spinning side kick disabled the second. The third was reaching for her and got a dislocated shoulder as he was thrown into a fourth that wisely stayed on the ground. A spinning backfist was already on it’s way to number five and number six had his jaw broken with a deadly kick square to the face. It was all over in less than two minutes and the only sounds in the cavern were the moans of the injured.

Slowly sanity came back and Becca dropped on her knees to the floor sobbing hysterically. Tobal dropped down beside her and put his arms around her trying to comfort her. Then he gently helped her up and led her out of the circle and into a quiet corner where they just sat together in silence. He squeezed her hand as the medics took five of the six out of the cave to get medical attention. She started crying again and he didn’t know what else to do except hold her tightly against his chest. Gradually she relaxed and fell asleep in his arms.

The circle had been disrupted and several members milled around arguing with each other. Several red cloaked figured appeared and one approached them in the darkened corner. As the figure drew closer Tobal saw that it was Rafe. He put his finger to his lips for silence and indicated that Becca was sleeping. Rafe looked at her thoughtfully, nodded and turned back to the clustered group of medics. There was some kind of heated discussion in which Rafe was obviously taking part. Then several black hooded Journeymen were called into the group and preparations were made to recast the circle and begin Melanie’s initiation.

Becca slept through most of Melanie’s initiation but roused herself as six black hooded figures surrounded Melanie in the center of the circle. Tobal felt her stiffen and he gripped her in support. Glancing at him she relaxed a bit but was still focused intently on what was happening to Melanie. She watched as each figure stood impassively until Melanie tried attacking them. Melanie was fast and dodged several attacks and landed a few of her own but did no real damage. She was also taking a slow beating as one of the hooded figures landed a blow that knocked her to the ground.

Gradually Melanie realized that no one attacked her unless she attacked first. She also realized that only one figure would fight at a time. When she realized this she stopped fighting and just stood silently in the ring with her arms folded and her eyes glaring defiance.

As one the circle began to move and the drums sounded within the cavern and Melanie’s initiation was completed to the sound of cheers and welcome. Then the High Priest raised his hands for silence.

“There is unfinished business in this circle tonight.” He said. “There are two initiates and the second initiation must also be completed and the new initiate welcomed into our group.”

He motioned for Tobal and Becca to come forward.

Becca was hesitant and resisted but continued at Tobal’s reassurance. He took her hand and gently led her into the circle and stopped in front of the High Priest.

The High Priest continued. “ Becca, you were charged with the duty of defeating in combat six other Journeymen before you would be able to advance to the Master degree. The six that you fought tonight were supposed to be symbolic in nature but your victories have been real. You have completed the Journeyman degree but you can not advance into the Master degree until one year has passed. This is the minimum time requirement. All that remains is to give you the blessings of the God and Goddess and of this degree.”

Then raising his hands he turned to the circle and asked loudly. “Does anyone here dispute the claim that Becca has won her six victories and completed the work of this degree?”

There was stunned silence around the circle and then some members started moving widdershins dragging others with them and soon the entire circle was spinning. The drums were beating and people were leaping and laughing, yelling and clapping in approval as the initiation concluded and the wildest party in Tobal’s memory began.

Later he moved over to where Becca and Melanie were talking together. Becca was smiling and he hoped she felt like she was among friends. He gave her a hug and a smile and she hugged him back and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Thanks for helping me through the initiation.” She said.

His eyes twinkled. “Any time, it’s my duty.”

When Tobal woke the next morning both Melanie and Becca were gone. He had no idea where they had run off to and was slightly disappointed. If they wanted to go off by themselves it was completely up to them. Mumbling a bit to himself he left to go find Jake for some sparring practice. After watching Becca take out those six guys last night he felt he really had a few things to learn.

The End Of Volume I

This concludes the first of a three part series. I hope you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas!

Anarchist Knight: Apprentice is the first story I ever tried to write. Unfortunately I was never able to successfully market it. Since writing it I have successfully translated nine books which have been modestly successful and all together I have sold around 2,000 copies of my translations but almost none of my fiction or non-fiction. If you would like me to finish this trilogy please let me know in as many ways as you can!

I’m hoping to get back to this project this coming year (2018) nearly 10 years after setting it aside. It depends upon the interest of readers like you! I have the notes for part 2, but nothing else. It remains a dream that is waiting for its time of fulfillment.

bright blessings,

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There was a hollow sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and he felt like he was going to throw up. He was shaken to his very core by the news and his face turned a pasty gray. He looked for one of the medics to ask for more information and made a beeline in the dark to the nearest red cloaked figure he saw. The medic was busy putting some things in his pack. His back was to Tobal as he walked up.

“Excuse me.” He began. “I need some information.”

“ Rafe!” He shouted.

“Rafe, what about Becca?” He asked urgently. “Is she all right?”

Rafe turned a troubled gaze on him.

“Becca’s pretty bad. Near as we can figure four rogues jumped the two of them with clubs while they were climbing half way up the cliff on a ledge by the waterfall. Becca got taken by surprise at the top. They grabbed her and were holding her down and tearing her clothes off. She was fighting back when she was knocked unconscious. Melanie managed to slice one of them pretty bad with a blade before being pushed over the ledge. Becca was already unconscious when Melanie fell over the ledge. She wasn’t able to help Becca and prevent the beating. She really blames herself for that. She’s lucky she wasn’t hurt in the fall.”

Rafe continued. “ As soon as Becca was unconscious alarms went off on our air sleds and we responded immediately. The rogues left Becca with a couple cracked ribs and took off running when three medics came flying in on air sleds. Tobal, she was raped. ” He looked at Tobal before continuing.

“We felt she might have internal injuries and took her to the city for specialized medical attention. Melanie went along as a witness and to fill out the reports.”

That was all Rafe knew except they were both at sanctuary now and Becca was in stable condition.

“I don’t know who the rogues were. They don’t seem to be anyone that is a part of our camp. But they know about us, that’s for sure. They didn’t wear med-bracelets, so they didn’t show up on our screens.”

“They don’t wear med-bracelets?” Tobal said grimly. “That means they are General Grants’ men.”

“The air sleds showed up suddenly.” Tobal asked violently. “How did the rogues get away?”

“We don’t know yet. That’s our new camp remember.” Rafe continued. “As soon as Becca was knocked unconscious alarms went off on our air sleds. What I can’t believe is that rogues would be so close to our camp.”

“I know where they were climbing.” Tobal said suddenly. “If they were on the ledge they would have been trapped. The only way down was hand and foot holes and the only way up was through a rock chimney. They didn’t run away. The medics let them get away!”

He turned to Rafe in a rage. “The first medics there let them get away. They didn’t have time to climb the rock chimney or go down the cliff to the lake. How could they just vanish like that?”

Rafe turned white as understanding dawned. “It wasn’t our Medics. The rogues were teleported there and out again. They must have a teleporting station set up right there on that ledge. We’ve got to find it and destroy it.”

“What did these rogues look like? What kind of tunics did they wear?” Tobal asked savagely already knowing the answer. “They knew the girls were going to climb the cliff and waited for them on the ledge. The girls were deliberately ambushed!”

“’They were dressed as Journeymen in black tunics.” Rafe told him. “That’s all we know at this time. Ellen’s looking into it further and making a complaint to the City Council.”

There was a lump in his throat and a heavy feeling in his heart. He had left the girls at the lake alone and unprotected. Part of what happened to them was his fault. He had even suggested they go there in the first place. Tobal took up his pack and asked Rafe to give him a ride to sanctuary. The trip was a little over an hour with the air sled. The full moon made night travel fairly easy anyway. It was his first air sled ride but he was too emotional to enjoy it.

As they traveled he wondered about the rogues. Were they really acting under orders from General Grant and did they have the ability to teleport in and out at will? What was so important about the cave under the waterfall? They needed to really check it out before the enemy got to it and took everything. He told Rafe that they needed to check the cave out thoroughly and see what they could find. Rafe agreed and said he and Ellen would look into it immediately on his return. He dropped Tobal off at sanctuary and sped back toward the lake.

Tobal went inside and stopped at the door to let his eyes adjust to the dim light. Melanie saw him and came running with a glad cry.

“Tobal!” She threw her arms around him in a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

She led him over to the cot where Becca lay and he sank down on his knees by her bed. He reached out for her hands. She smiled weakly at him. Her face was horribly bruised and there was a look in her eyes he didn’t recognize. He didn’t’ know for sure if she really knew who he was. It was like she was looking through him. As he reached to move a strand of hair away from her eyes she flinched away from him.

“Becca, it’s me Tobal!” He implored but her uncomprehending eyes remained the same. She was in shock. Part of her soul was gone somewhere else and he didn’t know how to get it back. He stayed with her and Melanie stayed with her but she remained unreachable. In anguish he grabbed her hand and placed it over the scars on his face.

“Becca, it’s me, remember me! My face. Feel the scars, it’s me, remember!”

She slowly looked at him and tears began to form in her eyes.


She softly traced the scars with her fingers. “I’m sorry.” She whispered and her arm dropped back on the cot.

He pulled her hand toward him gripping it hard and trying to bring her nearer. Something broke inside his heart and he cried, violent spasms shaking his body.

“Becca, I love you, I love you. Come back to me.”

Her fingers tightened in his. “I love you too.” She whispered.

Two days passed and Becca seemed to improve but something was still wrong. The rape and beating was still fresh and her experience made her both fearful and angry. She wanted to withdraw at times into her own space and be alone and at times she pushed both Melanie and Tobal away. Other times she needed them close to her.

It was the afternoon on the third day that Llana showed up at sanctuary concerned about what had happened. When Tobal hadn’t showed up for their meeting she had gotten worried and gone looking for him. She checked at the new medic’s base and was told that he was here.

“You’ve got to get Crow.” Tobal told her. “Crow told me that he would be needing to do another soul retrieval. He is the one that is meant to help her.”

“Both Crow and I will help her together.” She told him softly.

A few hours later both Crow and Llana had finished the soul retrieval and done spiritual healing work on Becca. She was sleeping peacefully. Crow, Llana, Melanie and he could not talk openly about things at sanctuary because newbies were there and clansmen were also showing up to get the newbies. Crow and Llana left and said they would talk with him later. Before they left Tobal warned them that the General’s men were teleporting into areas without warning and attacking clansmen.

They stayed at Sanctuary as Becca gradually improved. Both Becca and Melanie were looking forward to their Journeyman initiation and joked about it. The bad food at sanctuary was finally too much and they decided to make a leisurely journey to the caverns.

It had been two weeks and was just before the new moon. Physically Becca was pretty much healed but there were still deep emotional scars that were raw. He could feel the scars keeping them apart. Becca and Melanie were to be initiated into the Journeyman degree. They both felt it would help them to turn their minds away from what had happened. They traveled together and reached the caverns late in the afternoon. As the girls were being prepared for the initiations he joined the tail end of the tournaments.

Since he was late he hadn’t been challenged and was given the opportunity to challenge someone. He didn’t care whether he won or lost, he just needed an outlet for the rage and energy that had been trapped inside him since Becca’s accident. It was making him crazy and he knew he had to get rid of it.

In a burst of anger he challenged the Ox. The Ox had been having it entirely too easy because of his natural strength and size. Nobody ever challenged him and he only challenged weaker and easier victims. He never really had to fight. Tobal needed to fight.

The Ox was surprised and incredulous but also had a wide grin on his face as he contemplated the beating he was going to give Tobal. Lumbering to his feet he swaggered into the circle and nodded at the referee. Tobal was on fire and there was no strategy. He was just going to pound the Ox until the fight was over. It was going to be brutal but he was in much better shape and had learned of few tricks the past months. He had also been practicing daily. He had never seen the Ox bother with any type of training or exercise. The brute seemed to rely exclusively on his own natural ability and strength.

The Ox lunged and Tobal narrowly missed getting caught by those massive arms. As the Ox passed Tobal swung a viscous blow with an elbow that caught the Ox on the side of the head and dazed him. Tobal was not quick enough to take advantage and the Ox turned with a bellow of anger. It turned into a slug fest in which neither one tried to get away but simply stood braced and pounded on each other, trading blows without regard for the punishment they were taking.

Tobal had learned how to brace himself for blows and took several blows to the midsection without buckling. Llana’s training had given him vast endurance and it was the Ox who began to weaken under sustained blows to the head and midsection. He was used to fights that ended quickly and was getting tired. A wicked knee to the groin finally dropped the Ox to his knees and the fight was over. Tobal was battered and bloody but victorious and happy. He had won his second fight.

There was something especially sweet about this fight he thought as he limped out of the circle. He watched as Jake fought his match. There was no doubt about Jake getting better too. But it was not enough for him to win.

As he left the ring and sat down at the edge of the circle his mind again returned to the conversation with Becca that had left his head spinning. He had asked Becca for a better description of her attackers. They had been bearded and hard to describe but she had torn the leader’s tunic off in the struggle. She had seen clearly a tattoo on his chest above his heart. It was a round circle with a male and female holding hands inside the circle. It was the same tattoo he had seen on his uncle as a child.

After the tournaments he washed up and got prepared for Becca’s and Melanie’s initiations. Having two initiations made things go much longer since they each had to be done separately. Becca’s initiation was first and it was almost the last. Tobal was Becca’s guide. He had requested to be her guide and Ellen had approved. He wanted to be close by in case something happened.

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