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Archive for the ‘Organic Gnosticism’ Category

Book, Manipulation, Nature, Fantasy, Old, Clouds

There are at least three known stations or Sephiroth above the Great Abyss and even though I hesitate to use the terminology of the Holy Kabbalah it is perhaps the most useful to get my point across. When my awareness first permanently crossed the Great Abyss it settled into a very stable state known as the archetypal planes or realities. It is well known that logic and reason can’t cross this Great Abyss and they don’t function there. The best way to describe this space is self-evident truth or direct perception of reality. You don’t figure things out. You simply become aware of them as they really exist. I call this the plane of the Concrete Spiritual after the famed occultist Dion Fortune.

Beyond this station is one that is known as Unity or Spiritual Light and it is the place where energy and matter become interchangeable. This is the ultimate place of tearing down and building up of all things. It was to this area that I kept pushing my awareness because I wanted to dissolve myself into the Light in an act of Spiritual suicide because I hurt so bad that I was done and wanted OUT! This is where awareness becomes one with all that exists and knows itself as such. This is termed the plane of the Abstract Spiritual.

The third known station is more like a worm hole through space and time than anything else. Awareness can’t remain there but simply passes through it from one destination to the next. One might call this the realm of rotating magnetic spirals or where the magical cone of power exists in both its fundamental aspects of attraction and repulsion. So this is a transitional place where awareness is in motion as it traverses the universe.

I wanted to go beyond all of these and even though I was able to pierce much more deeply into the Golden Sea of Bliss and Light, I would find myself pushed back out again as soon as I let up my effort. I was able to establish a fourth station however and it was significantly above the other three. This was the photon/electron state described in Dewey Larson’s Reciprocal Systems theory. It represented the building block of all that existed in the universe.

Once more I will use the terminology of the Kabbalah because others have also mapped out this path.

The Great Abyss- the death of logic and reason

Chesed= helium-archetypal worlds- concrete spiritual energies

Binah=hydrogen-abstract spiritual energies

Chokmah=rotating magnetic forces- worm holes through time and space-timelines

Kether=alchemical unity

Ain=bliss & love – the station of the photon/electron and Dewey Larson’s Reciprocal Systems Theory or Jakob Boehme’s Throne of God  Ultimate Source of all things…the center of each atom…each cell…zero point energy

Ain Soph=where I tried to go in awareness but couldn’t

Ain Soph Aur=that unknowable Source beyond our universe that created and still creates our universe by continuously inserting more light into it.

As my awareness settled into this new reality I received almost constant ah ha moments or illuminations that filled in the missing pieces of my own philosophical paradigm or reality matrix. I began writing these down so that they wouldn’t be lost or forgotten and they became the core of my book Magister Templi. Most important was an essay on the stages of soul development that followed the spiritual path of the mystery schools as I understood it. But then in a flash of insight I inverted that path to discover the true secret of Sexual Alchemy and the twin paths of the male and female through each stage of soul development. This was the true beginning of my experience with soulmate and divine counterpart cycles.

With the collapse of my marriage the dam broke inside of me and suddenly after many years I was feeling emotions once more and it hurt! I had brought the lion back to life! I was getting so many illuminations and experiencing so much healing that I feared for my own sanity and began to see a psychologist twice a week. I also completed the Viscott Method in which I did a thorough self discovery process which I can recommend to anyone.

In addition to those things I also went to support groups twice a week, began my energy ball meditation for the first time and spent my tax return on Dianetics processing and other Scientology classes which I will talk about in my next post.

My psychologist said that my personality was stable but fluid and she was amazed at how fast things were happening for me. I kept going to her so that she could keep an eye on me so that I didn’t go off the deep end. She said that she had never known anyone who struggled against so much repression and opposition, but also said that she never knew anyone with such a strong will. I had turned that will upon myself in an effort to heal and find peace and nothing could stop me.

I was experiencing a form of psychotic break, but a positive one, in which I was reuniting with my original self or ego. I was feeling emotions for the first time since I was a teenager, but the emotions I was feeling were those of a teenager. I had to pick up where I had left off…I even went so far as to write a letter to my vampiric sweetheart proving that sexual link still existed. She never responded…

 

 

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Wallpaper, Background, Night, Blue, Girl, Fiction

To make a long story short, when I found out that she was pregnant we got married. I didn’t have a good job with medical insurance and in desperation joined the Air Force at the age of twenty seven. I barely made the age limit for enlisting. Our first child was born while I was in basic training and I moved the family to Phoenix Az as soon as I could. I spent eight years in the Air Force and they were all at Luke AFB.

The Air Force was good to me and I could have made a career of it except for the break up of my marriage. Right up front I will say that my wife believed in me during those early years and kept waiting for me to make something of myself. I was living in my head and was not a good supportive or emotional partner. I was not there for her and she wasn’t able to reach out to me. She was alone in a strange city without any vehicle or way to get around and dependent upon me for everything. We were living in poverty and soon we had a set of twins…

She had issues of her own and the energy dynamics of the relationship were such that I was forced to remain in my head to avoid the irrational behavior and angry emotions that she directed toward me. Her emotions were so powerful that I was afraid of them. I would read stories to the kids and then go into my room and meditate, try to lose myself in the Spiritual Light in a form of spiritual suicide. I really didn’t want to live any more.

My lack of response kept her frustrated and full of repressed emotions that had no healthy outlet. I was trapped and she was trapped and the pressure kept building and building. Somehow we had made it through seven rough years and then things changed.

There was a Rosicrucian Lodge in Phoenix and early on I became a member and loved it. It was the one bright spot in my life and I enjoyed the monthly meetings and fellowship. I participated in initiations and other activities which my wife had no interest in. After over fifteen years I had finally met my own people and it was wonderful. The people were wonderful as well, even though they were all older. I was the youngest and I soon found out that while I had read and reread my monographs over the years, many of them had not. I was also currently studying the 12th degree monographs and that made me somewhat of an elder…no one was as fanatical about their studies as I was.

Finally it happened, I crossed the Great Abyss and merged briefly with Source. The feeling was of undescribable bliss and love. It was falling into the loving embrace of the Cosmic Mother. The sense was definitely of feminine motherly love and protection. God was a Goddess! After a few weeks of intense daily meditations I felt my awareness permanently shift across the abyss and remain on the other side. I had become one with God/dess…That was when things fell apart.

Crossing the Great Abyss is to attain the grade of Magister Templi or the master of all sorrows…I was soon to find out why. Though my soul and spirit were protected, everything else in my life came crashing down!

While at work one day the commander called me into his office and told me that there was a big U-Haul rental truck at my home and my wife was packing everything up to leave. He told me to go home and deal with it. When I got home my brother-in-law was helping my wife load up the truck. I had known this day was coming, but it was still a bit of a surprise and part of me was sad and part of me was glad. I took the kids to the park for one last time while they finished and then they left to go back to Kansas. I was alone in an empty home…

We were deeply in debt and needed to let the house go back to the bank. We ended up going through bankruptcy and a divorce. My wife told me that she would take me for every penny I ever made and would take half of my military retirement as well. I tried to reason with her, but when she turned her back on me, she really turned on me…

I was court ordered to pay $600/month in child support. Now military pay is a strange thing. You have your base pay which was about $800/month at the time. Then you had a supplement for living with dependents and another cost of living adjustment. In all my monthly pay was around $1600. After they left I was only allowed my base pay and the off base cost of living allowance. I could no longer claim living with dependents and I would be expected to live on only $200 per month. It was simply not possible. I was going to be forced out of the military because I couldn’t live on what they were going to pay me. I tried to get the child support adjusted, but it was fixed based upon the past year’s income. I was screwed…I had two months until my enlistment was up and I moved into a cheap apartment to wait it out.

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Hunt, Forest, Hunting, Nature, Hunter, Wilderness

I’ve mentioned how my weekly Rosicrucian monograph studies were the backbone of my newly created and developing personality as I continued on my spiritual journey. Some could say that I had destroyed the false ego or self and discovered my true Ego or Self, but it was really a secondary personality that was simply more healthy than my original one. One day I would need to return to that original ego and self and bring it back to life, bring the lion back to life. But that was to be many years into the future.

There were many important milestones in my Rosicrucian studies and one time during a self initiation an ascended master appeared in my living room. This person was dressed in his ceremonial robes, sitting cross legged and floating in the air about waist high. He radiated a powerful sense of peace and authority and gave me the sense that I had done very well upon my path. I was amazed and carefully walked completely around him, observing from all directions and making sure that the apparition was real. It remained visible for over an hour and the residual energy and power remained for several hours after it was gone.

At the time I didn’t realize that this ascended master was Hanns Heinz Ewers, the person I was in my immediate past life. Our past lives have curious lives of their own and exist within us and outside of us at the same time. Perhaps the correct way to say this is that the entirety of our soul can’t be contained in just one lifetime or one individual. There is simply too much in life for one personality to experience it all. This ascended master appeared several different times in those early years at important stages of my personal development. He gave me important support and encouragement when it was most needed. Over the years we have seemed to merge as one.

I spent six months in West Germany as a college exchange student and they were the happiest days of my life! I felt that I was truly home and belonged there. So many miracles happened in my life during that time that I can’t write about them. It was very healing for my fractured soul and much needed. Just to give some trivial examples I was born on 24 April. My seat on the airplane to West Germany was #24 and it was also #24 on the flight back to the United States. I stayed in room #24 at the hotel for the entire six months. I celebrated my golden 24th birthday high in the Austrian alps in the spring of 1980 in a log cabin above the timberline. That log cabin was over 200 years old. I had never been on a mountain before.

For the first time in my life the people loved me and made me feel welcome and at home. I went to West Germany with $200 in my pocket and came home with $200 in my pocket. We had prepaid and the dollar was doing so well that we got a weekly allowance that was just enough to help me survive until I received my income tax refund. I also managed to get a part time job as an English teacher at the local Inlingua language school. I had many friends that showed me many of the wonders of their culture and their country.

When I returned to the United States I was a new person. I gave both my parents a hug when they met me at the airport and it was the first time I had ever hugged my father. He turned stiff as a statue and didn’t know what to make it or how to respond. I’m glad to share that my father is still alive and now returns hugs from others. Life has a way of teaching us what is important.

Full of confidence and naivety I determined that I was going to pursue a career in astrology and personalized self help hypnosis tapes even though I had never really done any of that work seriously or for others. In the meantime I supported myself by working for Service Master, the professional cleaning company. I put an ad in The Mother Earth News magazine and waited for the orders to come rolling in. I only got two responses.

The first was from a man that was having much trouble in love relationships and wanted to know why. I was offering a twenty page astrology report years before computers. I had to do it all by hand. As I cast the chart for this young man and dove into it I was horrified at all the challenges and obstacles this person was confronting. I felt that it was too invasive and that I had no business knowing what I was learning about this person. I vowed to never again do a horoscope for another person for money. I did a partial report and returned his money.

The other response was from a woman that would later become my wife and mother of my four children. We corresponded for over one year and convinced ourselves that we were madly in love with each other even though we had never met. We shared the best and kept the rest hidden. Finally I went to Kansas to meet her and it was a disaster. There was no spark between us and we were not attracted to each other, but we had sex anyway. At the age of 27 I was still a virgin and she had her own issues having once been date raped. Two desperate people do not make good life companions and it was over before it began…I went back to Minnesota with relief thinking that it was over until I received her letter a few months later saying that she was pregnant…

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Fantasy, Cave, Mystical, Rock, Stone, Caves Portal

As I continue with my personal story about soulmate cycles and divine counterparts there will be a few detours to make some things more clear. Please bear with me as all of this is important and you will understand more completely later as we deal with higher things.

I mentioned that my Rosicrucian studies were one of the factors leading to my early nervous breakdown in my early twenties. Since I didn’t know what to believe any more I decided to believe everything to the best of my ability if at all possible! I would let the still small voice of my conscience and my heart give the final verdict. Unknown to me at the time this was a major component of chaos theory: All inputs are valid!

But studying one monograph a week was way too slow for me and I devoured as many books on spirituality and the spiritual path as I could find. For many years I spent well over $500/year on books and resources in the area of new age metaphysics and cutting edge self empowerment.

I began with alternative Rosicrucian material by Manly Hall and Max Heindel not knowing what made them different from the Rosicrucian Order AMORC. From there I went on to study astrology and the works of the Theosophical Society with authors such as C.W. Leadbeater, Alice Bailey and H.P. Blavatsky. From there I moved on to Edgar Caycee, Ruth Montgomery and Jane Roberts and the Seth Material. Jane Roberts and the Seth Material was one of my greatest early influences and I still have Vols I&II of The Unknown Reality.

Soon I had graduated to the self hypnosis work of Dick Sutphen and was listening to self hypnosis tapes on past life regressions and positive programing techniques. I purchased the Hypnosis Training Seminar, a collection of twelve cassettes that were recorded during a three day Hypnosis Training Seminar and many other individual cassettes. I did attend a Dick Sutphen human potentials seminar later in Phoenix Arizona. Dick Sutphen was also an early major influence. From there I was led to NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programing which is a powerful derivation of hypnosis and altered state technology. I have six highly valued books on NLP on my library shelf. The problem I had with NLP and hypnosis is that if reprogramming can be so simple, it can also be undone just as simply! I was looking for something more permanent and stable…

A person shared his story of the graduation ceremony of becoming a NLP trainer. The entire group walked barefoot twenty feet through a glowing bed of hot coals without getting burned. When I asked if he thought he could repeat it, or if it was the belief of the entire group that made it possible, he thought that it had been the belief of the entire group that made it possible.

I mention hypnosis because I’ve discovered that much of what passed for magic was actually some form of hypnotic suggestion. But things get a little weird here and it is also obvious that we can do much more in altered states than we are led to believe. Consider that the stage hypnotist can create blisters on the skin of a subject by suggesting that it is a cigarette burn. The blister will actually appear and then later disappear when you tell the subject that it will go away. Walking through a bed of hot coals is obviously not simple suggestion, but something else entirely. We also have reports of medical miracles that can’t be explained such as sudden remission of cancer in certain people after a sudden healing. Dion Fortune talked about magical societies using hypnotic trance states and mediums to communicate over great distances with other lodges…

Remember that I was a head tripper after my nervous breakdown and no longer accessed my emotions for much of anything. I was obsessed with the spiritual and mystical path and wanted to commit spiritual suicide by merging with Source and disappearing forever…

Back tracking a bit…Everyone thought that I would go to college after I graduated from High School but my father told me in no uncertain terms that I would not go to college, but would go to some vocational school and learn a trade so that I could earn my living by the sweat of my brow like it said in the Bible. My self esteem and ego was not strong enough to stand up for myself and I went to vocational school to become an electrician. I went to vocational school for two years and worked as an electrician for five years. It was the hardest work I had ever done and I was treated as if I was an idiot because working with my hands didn’t come easily to me. I was treated so badly that I finally quit and resolved to go to college no matter what my father thought…

After getting an associate degree at the local community college I went to St. Cloud State University and enrolled in their Germany exchange program where I spent the best six months of my life in West Germany. More on that in my next post…

As my spiritual journey progressed I found myself isolating more and more from others and focusing almost entirely on Source.

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Portrait, Wedding, Kiss, Photoshoot, Just Married

I think everyone will understand why I’ve chosen to share my personal story in this post. I will be bringing many things up that require a certain perspective and context that would be difficult to present in any other way.

Now soulmates share the same soul frequency and because of that there is a very intense attraction and spark between the two people. However, you can have several soulmates and that spark or attraction doesn’t guarantee that you can have a happy relationship with that person. What it does indicate is that you can possibly complete a soulmate cycle together and permanently activate astral bodies for each other. After that much depends upon the karma that each person has with other people in their lives. The soulmate cycle aside, karma with other people often prevents soulmates from having lasting relationships with each other. But there are lots of factors that can go into this.

In my last post I talked about my first love relationship that I felt was with my true soulmate, but instead it turned into a vampiric connection that drained my sexual energies for over thirty years…Let me share a bit more to make this clear…

When this girl broke up with me I was so devastated that I lost twenty pounds in two weeks and was not able to ask another girl out on a date for seven years! I felt that no one could be to me what she was to me. I was fixated on that soulmate or supposed soulmate connection. Or perhaps it was the vampiric connection that held me so tightly bound? To this day I don’t really know. I only know that later in life I’ve encountered other soulmates that shared the same soul frequency as I and actually completed soulmate cycles with them and mutually activating permanent astral bodies. I have called these chakra soulmates because the individual soulmate cycles permanently activated a particular astral body or noble gas body as I will share in future posts.

Now getting back to my story:

Three critical factors hit me at the same time in my early twenties and caused me to have a nervous breakdown in which I ended up creating and living inside a secondary personality for the next twenty-five or so years. But this was a good thing and I need to explain why and what was really happening because this is an important part of the occult/mystic path that  people don’t understand.

The first factor was the ending of this love relationship with this person I believed was my one and only soulmate.

The second factor was my mother getting into a car accident with a man that she was having an affair with and everything coming out into the open including her drug abuse. This was devastating to me and caused me to lose faith in the spiritual and religious principles that I was raised in and which I had accepted after my earlier spiritual crisis of conscience. I felt that it was all a lie and not true because it certainly was not true for my own parents!

The third factor was perhaps the greatest and the one that really caused my nervous breakdown. Shortly after highschool I joined the Rosicrucian Order AMORC and began to receive weekly monographs in the mail to study. These monographs introduced concepts that were very challenging to the religious beliefs that I had been taught. I will give a few examples:

The Rosicrucians taught the importance of an inner authority called the Master Within which was the Christ spirit within each human heart that spoke through the voice of conscience. It was the one and only true spiritual authority and individual to each person. The Bible was symbolic and not to be taken literally. God was in our hearts, in all things, and that’s where we needed to contact Him, not out there in heaven somewhere.

I was also taught the concept of reincarnation and karma for the first time. These were some of the early concepts that actively destroyed my faith in ordinary Christianity. But I was conflicted… I was so conflicted that one night I lay on the living room floor unmoving, locked in indecision, knowing that I needed to decide and knowing that my eternal life and soul was at risk depending on which path I chose. I finally chose to follow the path of conscience and my heart and if I was wrong I would accept the consequences.

That was when I had my nervous breakdown. That was when something split inside of me and I lost my connection to mother earth. I set my sights on a spiritual path and my emotions died. My emotions died because of the pain I felt from the things I’d experienced in my failed love relationship and what was going on with my mother. There was too much emotional pain…so I abandoned the emotions and set upon the spiritual path with an intensity that took over my entire being.

Luckily my weekly monograph studies were very powerful and actually helped me keep it together in a somewhat healthy way. They brought order, structure and something to believe in when I was my most vulnerable. I only realized much later in life that I had created a secondary personality and it was a positive thing. It helped me to develop and grow my sense of self and ego and this was vital to my emotional and mental health.

The reason that I bring this up is because it or something like it has always been an important part of the mystery school teachings in one way or another. You see, we are all broken in some way and the true path of a mystery school is to heal the soul, the emotions and the mind.

Magic work talks about assuming God forms and becoming the deity for brief moments while doing spells. The assumption of a God form is to temporarily place your awareness into a secondary personality that you have created. To assume a God form is much like deliberately creating a secondary personality…This is seen as a positive thing because it is more healthy than many of the ordinary personalities.

In alchemy one of the most important steps is to kill the lion, which means to kill the emotions just like I did…One of the later steps is to bring the lion back to life again…which is to reintegrate the emotions which I have done as well in these later years. I have reawakened my original self as I will share in later posts. The main point is that these phases of healing and mental and emotional health through the deliberate use of secondary personalities were known and used frequently in the development and growth of the soul.

My little talk about secondary personalities would not be complete without mentioning that both the Shadow and the Higher Self or Holy Guardian Angel are also secondary personalities and need to be integrated into the Self or Ego before true healing can take place.

The Shadow acts independent of the Self and consists of those things we feel are within us, but we deny them and don’t accept them. We need to find a way to accept them and love them for what they really are. They are those instincts that try to keep our physical body alive and healthy.

The Higher Self or Holy Guardian Angel also acts independent of the Self and consists of those things we admire and respect in others, but feel are missing within ourselves. We need to realize that those things we admire in others do exist inside us as well and do belong to us. They are not out of reach…

 

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Shamanic, Drum, Magic

I participated in a full moon drumming circle last night that was very nice. One of the things we did was something called a drum shower which I had never done before. We would take turns and one person would stand in the center of the circle and the others would then hold their drums close to the person and begin drumming as they moved the drums from the top of the head down to the ground and back up again. This was repeated three times. It was very powerful and stimulating to the chakra centers. It was also very cleansing and energizing. It almost felt like going to a chiropractor and getting an adjustment. Coming on or near the full moon was an added treat as it allowed for making room for more of the incoming energy.

Continuing my personal story: A person’s conscience usually kicks in around the age of twelve but mine was a bit late and didn’t show up until I was fourteen. When it did show up it was with a vengeance! As time went on I found myself increasingly at odds with the religious expectations of how I was raised. While I was not a mean person my shoplifting continued and I began to swear and hang out with some questionable people. The end result was that when I was around my parents or other authority figures I was a totally different person than when I was around my friends. I was not able to be who I really was! I did things that I knew were wrong and didn’t feel good about myself. I was lying to others and to myself and it became increasingly harder. My conscience was beginning to bother me in a big way and I couldn’t ignore it…

This confrontation with my conscience led to a spiritual crisis at the age of fourteen. It didn’t matter if God forgave me because I couldn’t forgive myself! I finally realized that I needed to live in such a way that I could live with myself and that meant that I needed to follow the still small voice of my conscience. I vowed to myself and to God that I would try to follow my conscience in all things for the rest of my life and I have tried to do that. It was a profound realization and led to my embracing the religious values and teaching that I had been brought up with. I had been saved; or so I thought…

I was extremely shy and nervous around girls and very sensitive; too sensitive. My parents and family had not prepared me in any way for healthy romantic relationships and I soon fell into that dreaded category of the boy that girls liked to be friends with and talk to, but not to be romantically involved with. I was always the friend and not the boy friend. I had no idea how to break out of that cycle.

There was a girl that I really liked and I finally asked her out for a date. We went on three or four dates and then she dropped me because I was boring…I was devastated but couldn’t really blame her…I was boring and I didn’t have a very high opinion of myself. She was much higher than I was and I placed her upon that pedestal. But I couldn’t get her out of my mind and three years later, some two years after graduation I asked her out again. This time I was determined not to be boring…

Sparks flew! The sexual tension was so great between us that it was almost unbearable. Yet I always backed off at the last minute because I was afraid of that intensity and ultimately she was too. We could read each other’s minds and feel each other’s emotions and our body language didn’t lie…but it was too much…she didn’t want a relationship of that kind of intensity. She just wanted to have some fun and I didn’t understand. I wanted that relationship. I often dreamed of her and in one dream she walked past me and touched me on the tailbone at the root chakra. I felt a powerful electrical shock and didn’t know what it meant.

It was only some thirty years later that I understood what it meant and I will share it here. This girl was a flirt and radiated sexuality. She was fun and popular and she knew it. So was her mother. In ancient days they would have been considered witches even though they didn’t really know what they were doing on a conscious level. She was a sexual predator, an energy vampire. The connection made in that dream encounter lasted over thirty years, thirty years in which she drained my own sexual energy from me and from others as well. It is how she kept her etheric double alive and radiant.

I was unaware of that remaining connection until much later in life when I once more activated that lower chakra center and began working with it. I discovered that connection as an energy leak and severed it to permanently close it. The next day I found out that she had wrecked her car in an accident…

There is no doubt that she was a soulmate, and shared the same frequency as my own soul. I’ve known three other women that shared that same frequency and will speak of them later. Being the same frequency makes one a soulmate, not anything else. It doesn’t mean that you can get along or live together either. It just means there is a very powerful spark that exists between you which can be used in the process of soul development.

 

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Dog, Wolf, Yelp, Moon, Tree, Night, Starry Sky

These posts will carry a very different energy than most of my previous posts because I will be sharing my personal story as we go along and it should stir emotions as well as provide insight into the unseen worlds. This first lunar cycle of 2020 is when we draw in the new energies that are coming into our world and allow ourselves to become filled as much as possible with them. So drink in these emotions and energies that come with my posts and do the same with other things in your life!

Visualize a syringe whose needle tip is dipped in some fluid like water and the plunger is being gently pulled back causing the fluid to be drawn into the syringe by the vacuum created. That is what happens in the astral during the days of the waning moon, those days from the full moon to the next new moon. It is during these days that we draw in this vital life force energy and bring it up into our awareness. We become aware of things! So use these days to draw this new energy in and become aware of it within  your body! Energize your self and your soul! We will use this energy later as the plunger is pushed back in and the energy injected into the astral during the waxing phase of the moon as it travels from new to full.

As a child I loved to read books and each week took at least thirteen books out of the school library. I read them all! I remember reading the dictionary in fascination and needing to look up the words in the definitions because they were not yet in my vocabulary. Often reading one definition would lead to the need to look up at least three other words just to understand the original definition of a particular word.

I would snuggle down in a chair and become lost in a book to the extent that I lost consciousness of my physical body or the passage of time. People would need to speak to me at least twice to get my attention. Today we take things like this for granted, or at least some of us do. But the truth is that in ancient days and to a lesser extent even in today’s world this is almost impossible for some people to do.

To lose awareness of one’s physical body or the passage of time are both considered high states of trance or Samadhi in the Buddhist tradition. They are remarkable achievements to those who are “trapped” within the physical world and the present moment. The same can be said of day dreaming or mental projection. Drug or alcohol abuse are the only ways that many can leave the imprisonment of the present moment. They simply can’t do it on their own without some external stimulus. I was born with these abilities and they came naturally. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that others can do these things easily because they might not be able to.

When I was ten years old I had a series of recurring nightmare type dreams that would wake me up in fright before the dream could end. It was always the same dream. I was in outer space in a vehicle like a bus or subway train car that was completely empty except for me. I was the driver and this vehicle was pushing against a mountain top trying to move it. The energy in the dream was unbearable because the infinite force of my vehicle was pushing against the infinite force of the mountain in a virtual stand off in which neither force could win. There was an angry electrical or mechanical hum that reached an unbearable pitch of unrelenting tension and I always woke up. I had this same dream three or four times and each time the intensity would increase and the front of my vehicle would cave in a little bit. It was taking damage but I wouldn’t give up! Finally the dream resolved itself as the mountain slowly began to give way…I had won!

This recurring dream has haunted me because it forecast my entire life! This was a dream about Gaia’s ascension and my role in helping Gaia to move into her new place. I was born into this earth life time to fight this very battle against overwhelming odds. The energy that I was bringing in would move the mountain because I would not give up until it did! That mountain was going to move if it killed me…

I can only imagine that others have come in with similar missions to assist Gaia in her ascension and help all life forms as well. Consider that it is no accident that we are living in these times and that what we are doing was planned long before we entered our physical bodies. We each have missions to fulfill. What is your mission?

I had a couple of other recurring dreams during those days that were so vivid I still remember them. One was the horrible scene of an ocean bottom covered with dead bodies and the other was a long procession of people or spirits, including pioneers, going somewhere. What these dreams meant I’m not sure, but the one about the ocean bottom covered in dead bodies was either concerning the devastation of World War I&II or the possible devastation of World War III. In any case World War III needed to be avoided! The procession of people were all those that were incarnating during this lifetime to ascend with Gaia and to help with her ascension.

In respect to these dreams I mention that I believe that I was the author Hanns Heinz Ewers in my immediate past life. He experienced the horrors of both World Wars. He was an avowed Satanist who gave highly popular lectures on the religion of Satan from 1910-1925. He was also an early supporter of the Nazi cause, but later helped Jewish friends to safety. He always believed that the Jews were important German patriots and supported them in all ways. He died in poverty with his books banned in both Nazi Germany and in the western world including the United States and England. His reported last words were, “What an ass I’ve been!” (translation) I believe that with his last words he turned to the light with all his power and will as he died. After such a dark life he returned to Source and in this life I’ve been the vehicle to make sure nothing like that ever happens again! I’ve had to deal with a lot of past life karma from all my past lifetimes!

 

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