Archive for November, 2017

I Thank You

You led me into sorrow,
There in darkness,
For the first time
I felt my own power,
As I was torn in half
And there I first grew wings
That carried me to the sun
I’m not angry, I thank you
You destroyed my heart.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

Read Full Post »

Happiness can not be found in material possessions or in another person. Happiness is a deeply personal inner matter that is a product of our personal choices in life and the consequences of our actions. It happens when we can see the positive results of our efforts.

When we work hard toward a goal and get few or negative results there is a loss of happiness and self-esteem. When we work hard toward a goal and get many positive results our happiness and self esteem grow. When things come too easily or are given to us we tend to take them for granted and take advantage of the situation.

While this may result in short term happiness, it will not lead to long term happiness and positive self-esteem. Understanding our True Will and being clear in what we believe and stand for helps us to act in a confident and decisive manner.

We continually test our individual version of reality by keeping those things that bring results and getting rid of those things that do not bring results. Continuing to put out effort and energy in efforts that return a poor or negative yield destroys both self-esteem and happiness.

When we find ourselves not getting results from our efforts it means there is something we believe in or something we are doing that is not realistic or in agreement with the way things actually are. When we are not getting results it is time to try something else. It is time to consider we are wrong in our thinking on this particular issue. Either that or we must work harder to break through the resistance we are encountering.

PS: I have started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

Life is short and sacred. Each one of us should be allowed happiness and prosperity according to our own individual needs. There are three requirements that will allow us to achieve our personal goals in life.

First we need to take care of our physical bodies. Our physical bodies are temples and should be as clean and healthy as possible inside and out. This means eating right, breathing right and getting enough physical exercise.

Second, we need a healthy self-esteem. A healthy self esteem will allow us to be confident in our own ability to overcome any obstacles and to get our individual needs met. We need to believe in ourselves and our ability to produce change in our lives.

Thirdly, we need to have a clear understanding of what we believe and act in accordance with our own personal “Truth” or paradigm. We need to be true to our inner voice and our conscience. When we understand our reason for being alive, we can act with conviction and certainty.

When we doubt ourselves and turn to external authorities for the answers that are inside of us, we are hesitant and filled with doubt. This causes us to act indecisive and weak. This includes the understanding that each person has an individual path and an individual “reality” that they must follow. Just because one thing is true for me does not mean that it must be true for the next person.

PS: I have started a Facebook group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

So far we have discussed several types of energy. Spiritual energy is tapped by use of the energy ball extended above the head. Earth energy is tapped by use of the energy ball forced deep into the center of the earth.

Sexual energy is tapped by flooding the physical and astral body with waves of pleasurable energy before and during orgasm. This energy is accumulative as are spiritual and earth energies.

Etheric energy is that energy at the low end of the elemental scale.

The astral planes surrounding the earth can only hold a finite amount of energy of any type. During the lunar cycle it will squeeze any excess energy out of the astral planes in the form of physical events or force opposing types of energy together in a destructive matter/anti-matter type of action that destroys both types of energy.

As your energy enters the earth’s astral planes and begins to fill them, the energy will be repelled away from you and used by others for their own purposes. This means that you will enter a period where very little is happening to you but quite a bit is happening to others that are using your energy to form physical events that they want. Your energy is harmonizing with other peoples energy by altering its frequency and nature to suit them. When it encounters other types of energy it is the weaker and alters itself to merge with that of others.

Gradually your energy will strengthen and other energies will alter as they merge with yours. At each new contact there will be a brief struggle that determines which energy will change and which energy will remain the same. As long as your energy alters easily any thing created by you can be easily manipulated, taken, or destroyed by others.

In time you will be able to create astral events of your own but they will resist becoming physical events for you. Others may try to alter these events to suit themselves and you may be forced to defend your astral creations.

Magical energy is astral energy that is linked to physical reality through connections to the earth’s south pole magnetic vortex and tends to become physical reality. Spirit energy is astral energy linked to physical reality through connections to the earth’s north pole magnetic vortex and tends to dissipate into the cosmic.

The best way to think of these two types of energy is by saying that the astral levels in the northern hemisphere surrounding the magnetic north pole are made of Spirit energy. The astral levels surrounding the magnetic south pole in the southern hemisphere are made of Magical energy. In reality each type of energy encircles the entire earth forming two entirely separate astral planes. Spirit energy forms the outer and higher astral planes. It contains all elemental energies from the spiritual energies to the etheric energies and tries to dissipate them.

In the same manner Magical energy forms the inner astral planes that surround the earth and contains spiritual and etheric energies. Magical energy is intended to become physical reality and will eventually do so unless it is somehow destroyed. Often the shape it takes in becoming physical reality is totally different that what it started out as. Magical energy has a tremendous ability to adapt and mutate into something unrecognizable.

The Spirit astral planes that surround the earth deal with long term and projected events. All superfluous material is stripped away until only the pure isolated event is left. The Spirit astral planes determine which key events and individuals are the most important and must be allowed to happen as physical reality. In this respect the Spirit planes rule over the Magical planes. These key events are critical and will be allowed to become physical reality without the distortion and mutation of pure Magical energy because they are powered by Spirit energy even after they drop down into the Magical planes and into the fixed etheric levels there.

PS: I have started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

Today we are going to talk about fourth century incubus and succubus experiences. Now the common ignorant peasant with roots in organic Gnosticism and with roots in the pagan religions were in a battle against the anti-life religion of the literate elites. Let’s face it, the common people enjoyed the earth and the pleasures of the earth. They had strong genetic roots to Gaia and to all living things.

The literate elite didn’t. They were living in their heads like people are currently doing in today’s world. The practice of magic was outlawed in the fourth century. Philosophers were driven out and books were burned. Original thought was no longer allowed. The church had determined in the Council of Nicaea which gospels were to represent Christianity and there wasn’t anything else that was to be taught. That was the truth. Everything else was satanic and was a lie.

The church created its own form of magical ceremonies through the rituals of Mass, baptism and marriage. Holy water was used to drive out Satan. But it didn’t matter what they tried because sexuality was a part of human nature. This movement of organic Gnosticism was spreading all over the near East and Satan was everywhere.

Sexuality was repressed, but excessive masturbation led to incubus and succubus attacks. The repressed sexual energies activated and brought out psychotic episodes. These psychotic episodes were called demonic possession and people feared them.

They didn’t realize that it was their own pent up emotions that were erupting. The Messalinian sect believed the devil was trying to possess them and beat themselves trying to drive Satan out of their physical bodies. Exorcisms became commonplace as the Church desperately tried to kill the human passions because they were demonic.

Eternal damnation was everywhere. There was no hope.

What was really happening was that these monks and these nuns were using autoerotic practices and working with sexual energy through masturbation even if they didn’t know what they were doing. It was building up pressure inside them and causing repressed emotions to flareup.

That’s an important part of the healing process when properly understood. So what was happening was the shadow side and the repressed hidden things were being explosively brought out into the open and those were the things that frightened people. Those were the things that were considered satanic and demonic.

They came out as the incubus or succubus. What is an incubus or succubus? They are personality fragments of real people that are activated through excessive sexual activity, especially autoerotic sexual activity and they will go out at night in your dreams and find a compatible opposite sex energy to merge with because that’s what sexual energy does.

It’s the merging of male and female energies. But the key to the incubus and the succubus is that they act on the unconscious side. They act on the repressed side and never represent conscious awareness. What they represent is the dark side and the hidden side of who you are and the more you repress and the more distorted your beliefs are, the more distorted your dark side is.

So these episodes of incubus or succubus attacks were really distorted expressions of their own repressions mingled with the distorted repressions of whoever their energy was attracted to. That is what made it so frightening. That is what made it so demonic because it was the distortions that made these things so so horrifying and people were caught in a loop. The more they repressed sexual energy, the stronger these psychotic experiences and attacks became because they were generating more and more energy. They were sexual addicts.

That’s what happens if you don’t work with sexual energy in a healthy way.

But you can work with sexual energy in a healthy way whether you’re doing it with a partner or doing it autoerotically. It ultimately heals because it is opening up repressioned energies and letting them out. That’s a healthy thing, because they are no longer stuck inside.

So in its blind way the Church through the repression of sexuality was actually forcing these sexual energies into the shadow and activating it. There are no such things as demons and the incubus or succubus. They are all fragments of real people, parts of us that we are afraid of.

But these parts are things that we don’t recognize and that we do not integrate. An important part of healthy mental and emotional well-being is to accept and integrate human sexuality in true human sexual experiences.

This was not happening because of the distorted belief systems of early Christianity. Some of the other religions were successfully working with these energies of Organic Gnosticism like the Buddhists who were developing the thunderbolt body or the diamond body. The martial arts were busy developing the immortal physical body.

These other spiritual paths were working with sexual energies in a more balanced way because their distortions were not as severe.

When you have an erotic dream that person is not aware of the encounter because what’s coming to you is a part of their shadow energy and the part of you that goes out to other people does the same thing. We are not consciously aware of these things, but they are parts of us. We can become more aware of them once we integrate our own shadow aspect.

PS: I’ve started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

His little valley was protected and full of browse. There would be deer and elk in it all winter and trapping fur bearing animals for winter clothing shouldn’t be hard if everyone was working at it. They could also work at shelter building and be welcome to stay as long as they needed to. By blind luck his little valley was the perfect location for a training camp.

He had most of it built already and making a few more shelters would go quickly. Together they could make what they needed and share resources. What they really needed was winter clothing and equipment. Making it would be time consuming. This fall furs would be prime enough to make good winter clothing and it was time to start trapping.

Late September brought snow in the mountains but it didn’t stay. There was just enough to make things seem white. They worked as a team. Melanie was the best trapper and she worked with the others on getting enough pelts for winter clothing.

They practiced intensely with the bow, making arrows and working on a permanent shelter. In all there were six of them. They were Tobal and his trainee, Sarah; Melanie and her trainee, Butch; Becca and her trainee, Mike.

At first they thought the best type of shelter would be a log cabin but that presented difficulties since they had no axes to cut the trees. In addition finding and laying rock for a fireplace and chimney would be too time consuming. Thatching material for a roof was no longer available. They had waited too long and winter was too close.

What they did settle on was to continue using the teepee shelters and further insulate them with furs on the outside. They built two other teepees that could be used for storage and for privacy or work space as needed. That solution was quick, simple, and effective allowing them to focus on other things like winter clothing, snow shoes and food caches.

They rigged more deadly traps and dead falls. They noticed the airsleds more often checking them out during the days. The medics were keeping closer tabs on everyone and making sure they were prepared for the coming months.

It was easier to hunt with some tracking snow. One hunter would track the animal and it would move toward one of the others that waited hidden in a blind. They got plenty of deer that way. Still the final weeks in October were increasingly difficult and Tobal understood at last why most people didn’t try training newbies during the winter.

His group was prepared though and each member of the group was outfitted with warm fur outer clothing and boots, blankets, emergency food rations, snowshoes for when needed and a small sled to pull and carry their supplies when they traveled. There was too much to carry in a pack.

The weather was still fairly nice but could change any time. Mike, Butch and Sarah were anxious to solo since they had been training for almost two months. They felt more than prepared and wanted to get it over with.

Becca and Melanie wanted to find their own base camps, set up for the winter and start training newbies. They were going to help each other get set up right after the coming circle. Tobal was not accustomed to being around so many people for such a prolonged amount of time and anxious to get away and have some time alone. He wanted to get back to the lake.

They made the trip back to the gathering spot together in high spirits. Mike, Butch and Sarah were proclaimed ready to solo and the elders agreed since they came into camp with a full assortment of winter clothing and gear and because they had two months of training. They had done a lot of work and really felt prepared about the coming winter. It had been time well spent and it had been fun as well.

Tara’s newbie was also ready to solo and one more Tobal didn’t recognize.

Nikki had a newbie ready to be initiated along with Char’s newbie and two others.

But Char’s newbie wasn’t ready to solo yet. He spoke with Char briefly after leaving the others at the Circle of Elders.

“Hi Char,” he grinned. “Who is your new friend?”

She grinned back and blushed a bit. “Hi Tobal, this is Rory. He’s a newbie that I’ve been working with this past month. He’s pretty sharp too.”.

Tobal noticed Rory’s eyes light up at the compliment. He grinned and shook his hand. “You watch that she doesn’t feed you too much now. Char is the best cook out here.” Then he turned back to Char.

“I’ve been looking for Wayne, have you seen him?” He asked. The grim look in her eyes and flash of anger told him he had just made a mistake.

He’s out there somewhere being a jerk,“ she snapped. “I finally told him to just stay away from me. He is so jealous about Rory here. I’m afraid he is going to start a fight with him and that is so very stupid. Other couples don’t have this problem do they?” She asked.

“I wouldn’t know about that,“ Tobal said. “What I’ve heard in general is most people try not to get into serious relationships with each other until they are at least Journeymen. Then they can at least live together and keep working toward citizenship.”

“That was our mistake,” she sighed. “We should have waited till we each trained our newbies but it’s so hard now since we have become so used to each other. I did talk to him though and we are both going to work on training newbies so we can move on to the Journeyman level at least.”

“That sounds like a really good plan,“ Tobal said. He gave Char a hug and kiss nodding to Rory. “I’ll see you both around later.”

He watched as Kevin, Zee, Nikki and Ox each got chevrons. That made one for Kevin, Two for Zee and one for Nikki. For the Ox it was six and he would finally get his initiation to Journeyman. He was happy about it since he had been almost two years as an Apprentice.

Kevin and Zee were standing together chatting as he walked over to congratulate them on their chevrons.

“Hey did you two finally decide to partner up for the winter?” He asked curiously.

Kevin had his arm around Zee’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. She gave Kevin a quick kiss and smiled at Tobal. “It’s kind of complicated,“ she said. “We both want to train one more newbie before Yule and then partner up for the rest of the winter. Winters get pretty long and partnering up for three months sounds a lot better to both of us then partnering up for five if you know what we are talking about.”

Kevin laughed, “Yeah, we’d still like to be friends next spring so we are taking this kind of slow.”

“Hey that’s great!” Tobal grinned and gave them both a big hug. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

They chatted a bit longer and watched Nick and Tara kissing.

“You think they will be friends next spring?” Tobal asked jokingly.

“Who knows,” Kevin replied. I wouldn’t talk if I were you though. You need a little romance in your life so you are not so sour all the time. There are lots of girls around here that would be interested in partnering up for the winter with you.”

“Newbies are just fine.” Tobal said blushing. “They do what I tell them to most of the time and are glad to leave after training. The Apprentice degree is not really good for romance. I just got an earful about it from Char. She’s afraid Wayne is going to tear her newbie’s head off.”

Tobal’s distraction was successful and they gossiped about Char and Wayne a bit. He excused himself after a few minutes and said he was going to bring wood in for the fires. He headed off looking for Rafe or Dirk intending to work with them for a bit. He found Dirk near one of the fire pits splitting logs with a stone hammer and some stone wedges.

“Hey Dirk, have you seen Rafe around?” He asked casually.

“Don’t know and don’t care,” came Dirk’s surly reply.

“What’s up, you sound kind of grumpy,” Tobal quipped and picked up a second hammer and wedge to help.

Dirk sighed and rubbed his shoulder. “The weather is getting to my shoulder. It aches and makes me grumpier than usual.”

They worked together for an hour splitting the larger logs into sizes that would burn in the fire pits.

“You still at two chevrons?” Tobal inquired.

“Yeah, been having some tough luck lately. Rafe won his second fight and crowing about it. You will have to let him tell you about it. I’m tired of hearing it so many times.”

“That sounds interesting,” Tobal replied. “I was planning on talking with him later anyway. I’ll have to ask him how it went.”

They finished the last log and Tobal put the stone hammer and wedge down.

“I’m going to get something to eat. That was hard work. I’ll see you later ok?”

“See you around Tobal and thanks for the help.”

Read Full Post »

In The Shimmering Night
The wings
And feet
Of a blissful angel
Swish so softly through
The shimmering night.
They flit,
They flutter,
They dance the dream,
And fill the sleeping world
With laughter.
Then you come,
My girl.
The bird
Who sings nightly
Only for me
Has enticed you here.
Greetings my girl,
How lovely you pass
With shimmering beauty,
Into the life of the night.
You are like
A flower,
That tenderly perfumes
And quietly opens
In the night breeze.
The stars,
The eyes of the gods,
Look down,
Not in jealousy,
Nor in friendliness,
On Human love.
So open your chalice
For me,
And perfume my love
And ease my heart
In the shimmering night.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

Read Full Post »

It started last year, this frenzy about sex and sexual abuse. Remember the tape about Trump right before the election? But let’s take a step back and try being objective for a moment. I know it’s hard.

The entire pre election was about head tripping and the Dems were certain of victory because they had the brains on their side. The Reps only had emotional misfits and I’m pretty sure no one was talking about them having any brains!

But somehow it became about emotions, and it’s been about emotions ever since. I’m even willing to say that it’s going to be about emotions for a long, long time now, for several elections at least.

But there is a big difference between the emotional release of psychotic behaviors and the balanced and integrated emotions of healthy people. The sad thing is the trapped emotions need to be released before the healing can take place.

Sexual abuse in its many forms has been hidden under the rug far too long and a lot of venting needs to happen. This is not going away folks! And things are getting dangerous for males. I predict that the next president will be female, not because of her qualities and skills, but because she is female. I also predict that men will begin to disappear from the News Media, Hollywood and politics.

Women are going to run things and I suspect they should have been running things a lot sooner. It would have been easier if the change over was more gradual. But now that the Divine Feminine has been released there is no stopping what needs to happen.

Just be aware that the world is going to change in a very big way when men are so afraid of being accused of something, rightly or wrongly, that they refuse to even try for public positions. It’s already starting!

PS: I’ve just started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

Being a victim and giving our power away go hand in hand. When we blindly follow external authorities and expect them to fix our problems, we have given them power over us.

Any external authority will be destructive and restrictive. They will not have our best interests in mind. They will have their best interests in mind.

Are we to be like the soldier that murders civilians because he was ordered to or are we going to think for ourselves and act for ourselves?

There is something inside us that is weak and wants to turn power and responsibility over to external authority like the government. Each and every time we turn to an external authority we give a portion of our personal power away and become more of a victim. Each time we wait for someone to teach or empower us we loose valuable time in our lives that could be spend in active effort.

If we refused to turn our power over to external authorities and lived according to our “True Will” the world would be a much better and safer place and we would treat each other as equals.

There is an evolutionary principle at work here. It’s time we asked the question of whether it is correct to artificially support actions and behaviors that left unsupported would collapse. Sometimes people need to hit bottom before things can get better for them. There needs to be an ending with closure and consequence.

To support things artificially goes against nature and sucks resources away from healthy enterprise. Why does our society feel that it is so important to take care of people that can’t or won’t take care of themselves? Is there a place for tough love in this confusion of co-dependency?

PS: I have started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »



The male should drain the bio-electric and magnetic field energy from the testes by slowly approaching orgasm and by avoiding ejaculation and loss of sperm cells. This pleasurable energy should be forced out of the sperm cells and into the physical and astral body by channeling it up the spine. It will find its way naturally upward to transform into mental and spiritual energy. The waves of pleasurable energy should fill the entire body if possible.

This should be done once or twice a day. In the beginning this energy must pierce through a pain barrier. There will be a few instances of severe pain at the base of the spine lasting from ten to fifteen minutes. Nothing can be done to prevent this. It is caused by the sexual energy being forced from the lowest astral levels into the higher levels.

As the energy channels open this will not happen anymore except in very rare activations of this astral “pain” body.

After draining the energy from the testes your body will have an imbalance of male/female energy. You will attract female energy to you to neutralize the excess male energy. Visualize the energy ball and plunge it deep within the center of the earth where it will attract energy from your soul mate. Then raise the energy ball as high as possible into the “spiritual” light. Do this a few times until you feel that your male/female energy is balanced. This will distribute the energy evenly throughout your entire system.


Try to reach orgasm as quickly as possible and raise the sexual energy as high as possible. Hold the orgasm at its peak for as long as possible trying to fill the entire physical and astral body with sexual energy. The energy will tend to fall back downward toward the earth.

This should be done once or twice a day. In the beginning this energy must pierce through a pain barrier. There will be a few instances of severe pain at the base of the spine lasting from ten to fifteen minutes. Nothing can be done to prevent this. It is caused by the sexual energy being forced from the lowest astral levels into the higher levels.

As the energy channels open this will not happen anymore except in very rare activations of this astral “pain” body.

After the sexual energy has been drained from the ovaries the physical and astral body will have a surplus of female sexual energy and will attract male energy to it to neutralize the surplus. Visualize an energy ball and raise it as high into the “spiritual” light source as possible. It will attract male soul mate energy to neutralize the excess female energy. Then plunge the energy ball into the center of the earth. Do this several times until the normal balance of male/female energy is restored. This will distribute the energy evenly within your system.

PS: I have started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »