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Chapter 9

The next day continued at a luxurious pace. For the first time there was no hurry or pressing matter. He indulged in curiosity and took exploratory hikes away from the stream to check out interesting and promising areas that from time to time caught his attention.

There was plenty of small game and he was always able to knock down some bird or animal for a quick meal. He never thought about using his bow. He had no need for that much meat and didn’t want to waste the time curing and drying it into jerky.

As long as he was following the stream he didn’t have to worry about getting lost or even using the map and compass. All he had to do was keep going downstream. There were actually a few times when it was raining that he would set up camp for a few days in the same spot and just sit out the bad weather. It was so peaceful and beautiful that one day led to the next. There was no pressure to perform and no Rafe to challenge him or push him harder.

He loved setting his own pace and being his own boss. He moved as the spirit moved him and his solo was more like a vacation than actual work.

When he arrived at the lake he made one spot a semi-permanent base and spent two weeks at the lake just fishing, exploring and working on his clothing and equipment. The lake was good sized and fed by several mountain streams. Tobal spent several days just exploring around it and enjoying the colorful sun sets in the evening.

But nights were not restful and his dreams were filled with dark, menacing visions of people being killed and bodies being piled into mass graves. The Lord and Lady never came to him and it seemed the dead walked in his dreams instead of the living.

Game was plentiful and he started a permanent camp similar to Rafe’s. No one seemed to be at this particular location but he did run across the remains of old camp fires and a few shelters. There was nothing recent. He saw many deer with young and the bear had come out of hibernation. He saw one mother bear with cubs and gave it a wide berth. Spring was the natural time for most wild species to give birth and nourish their young. Many of them at one time or another came down to the lake for water usually in the early morning or late evenings just before sunset. One morning he even saw a cougar or mountain lion on the opposite shore of the lake.

It seemed like birds were everywhere and he learned to listen to the forest and what it was telling him. There were times when it was noisy and times when it was almost too quiet. At night the trees would creak and sway in the wind and he would hear night creatures prowl around the camp in the darkness. It had not bothered him when Rafe had been there to talk to. But being alone in the woods was a lot different than being with someone. He thought maybe his dark dreams were getting to him.

Tobal thought about the time he would have to teach six other people to solo just like Rafe had done. He didn’t know if he wanted to teach anyone yet. It would be much more fun to explore and develop a permanent camp. Perhaps he would take his newbies down into this area. With that in mind Tobal began building his own teepee shaped structure. He could get the blanket material from sanctuary later after the framework was completed.

He began setting up things he had seen at Rafe’s, a smokehouse, a rack for drying jerky, a sweat lodge, and several traps for fish and for quail. These were spares for later in the winter months since he didn’t need them right now. It didn’t take him long to realize that he needed more cord and string. He also wished he had something heavier than a knife to cut wood with. A good axe would come in handy. He remembered the one he had seen at the store in Old Seattle and tried making one like it. It turned out better than he had expected and he used it to chop smaller trees for his shelters.

The days passed and once or twice he reflected it was strange he wasn’t missing human companionship. He wasn’t even feeling lonely, just surrounded by a deep peaceful feeling, at least during the daytime. Before he knew it the month was almost up and it was time to head for the gathering spot once more. It was almost full moon. The clan would be having circle and they would be expecting him back.

He gathered enough smoked fish, rabbit and venison jerky to last several weeks. He could supplement that with anything fresh he found along the trail. He hated to leave the lake. He loved to watch the ducks, geese, beaver, muskrats and all the other animals that visited the lake and called it home. He even toyed with the idea of staying, but it was time to go and he knew he would be back.

As Tobal neared the gathering spot he saw others heading toward the circle. When they waved he felt like he was indeed coming home. Nobody else whistled as they approached the camp and they laughed at him. He asked why and was told there were no guards except on the trail that led from sanctuary. Newbies were only to come into camp from that path. After they had joined the clan there was no need for a guard. It was just part of the initiation. Tobal felt silly and wonder why Rafe never told him that part of it. He remembered Rafe laughing at him the last time they had come to circle when he had been constantly whistling. It was so like Rafe to let him figure things out for himself.

He was in high spirits as he helped set up the structures and gather firewood for the bonfire. He was enjoying being treated as an equal and kept busy throughout the day. He was feeling good when his friends showed up congratulating him on his solo.

He talked with Nikki, she had completed her training with Zee and the Elders approved her for soloing this month. She was excited about it. Tobal made sure to give her a kiss for good luck. Nikki was a stocky well built brunette with an infectious sense of humor and an impulsiveness that got her into trouble at times but she always managed to get out of it just as quickly.

“Hey, don’t I get one too?” Zee asked pouting and tossing her braided raven hair back over her shoulder.

Tobal moved over and gave her a big hug and a kiss. “How have you been?” He teased. “I’ve been doing quite well thank you.” She laughed. “I’m heading out for sanctuary in the morning. You want to come along? It’s always more fun traveling together than alone.” She smiled.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he said. “How early are you planning to start out?”

“The sooner the better,” she replied. “How about sunrise?”

“I’ll see if I can get up that early,” he griped and they both smiled.

He walked over and found out Kevin was going to try for a newbie and hoped there would be enough newbies for everyone. They congratulated each other on their solos and told stories about how it had went. Kevin was pretty excited.

When Rafe showed up it was kind of odd because he was alone and didn’t have anyone with him. After a warm hug, Rafe told him that he had been going around visiting people and taking it easy. He would be getting his sixth chevron at the awards and his initiation as Journeyman in two weeks. He was a bit nervous but excited at the same time.

Later at afternoon assembly introductions were made for Tobal, Kevin and the four other newly soloed Apprentices. They were brought out in front of the circle to the sound of cheering, good natured applause and joking.

The next to be brought forward was Rafe. Rafe and another boy who had been Kevin’s teacher were both eligible for the Journeyman degree. They were called to the front as the sixth chevron was sewn onto their sleeves amidst joking and laughter. The Journeyman degree initiation was going to be on the new moon in two weeks. The location was marked on both of their maps. It was a secret location that the Apprentice degrees didn’t know about.

He chatted with Wayne and Char for a bit before sunset. They were building a permanent base camp and planned on spending the winter together. That got Tobal thinking about the coming cold weather and how he needed to get prepared and make some changes in his training. He resolved to pick up his winter gear he had cached at Rafe’s on the way back to circle next month. He thought he would be ok for this month and the furs were not prime yet.

He visited with Tara for awhile. She was concentrating on building a base camp and getting ready for the coming winter. She was hoping to find someone to share camp with and was disappointed when Tobal said he was planning to train during the winter.

The bon fire was lit and word came around that there was going to be several Apprentice initiations and Ellen wanted to get started early. Tobal almost forgot about it until he heard one of the guards boom out.

“Becca Morgan is welcomed into our clan as a new member.” Along with the others, he was caught up in the shouting, applause and craning his neck to get his first view of this new member of the clan.

As the High Priestess and High Priest began the initiation ceremony Tobal found himself remembering parts although some things seemed reversed. Then he realized the High Priest was doing the initiating and not the High Priestess. They had reversed roles because of Becca being female. It seemed the High Priestess only initiated male candidates and the High Priest initiated female candidates.

Tobal was admitted into the circle by the High Priestess with a hug and a kiss and found a place to sit on the northern side of the circle. He sat with others as the circle was purified and made ready for the candidate.

Everyone sat back in anticipation as Becca was led out hood winked with both hands tied behind her back. Her guide was the same dark haired girl that had been his guide and he still didn’t know her name. He was going to have to ask someone. As Becca was initiated Tobal found himself staring at her. Her tunic had been cut so short he could almost see where her slender white legs joined together beneath the cloth and he found them incredibly attractive.

He was watching the candidate or rather watching her legs as the charge was read and began reliving in his own mind the particulars of his own initiation. He could feel the energy building within the circle and he sensed the presence of the Lord and Lady as they took their accustomed places over the central fire.

When the drums started and it was time to move around the circle and build the cone of power he found himself dancing clockwise with the others. As he touched her shoulder and gently turned her it felt like a spark raced up his arm and then down his spine. He felt thrilled and uncomfortable at the same time. What was going on? He was obviously aroused and attracted by this unknown girl. He could even feel how she must feel as the focus of all this energy.

His elation turned to shock and horror as the Priest took the hoodwink off Becca and her face was exposed to the fire light of the circle. As she blinked, he saw it was the face of the girl that almost clawed his eyes out a year ago. She was being initiated into his clan and his circle as a sister.

Stunned and hurt, he got through the rest of the ceremony by retreating so deeply into his own thoughts and inner anguish he hardly realized what was going on within the circle. He sat through three other initiations in a stupor. Later when the party started Tobal made a pretense of having a good time but soon slipped away and nobody seemed to notice he was gone.

Tobal didn’t know if anyone had missed him. He left that evening and struggled his way up the cliff leading back to sanctuary. He was well on his way along the narrow cliff ledge as the sun came up and shed it’s light into the valley. He didn’t want to talk with anyone. All he wanted to do was get away and be alone for awhile. His gut was churning with a mixture of raw emotions.

It wasn’t fair. This was his clan, his circle, his people, and his friends. For Goddess sake, he was in the middle of the wilderness attempting to become a citizen of a Forbidden City. What was the likelihood she would be doing the same thing? The world simply wasn’t that small.

He was in a numbed state as he made his way toward sanctuary for the first time. The trip was a blur and he didn’t remember much. He ate from his own food supplies and didn’t bother hunting for anything but water for his two canteens.

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Pro Domo
 
Who desires applause, requires skill!
Whether man’s work, whether a children’s book:
The artist is as old as the world.
That is his blessing; that is his curse.
When he errs as a young dandy,
He still errs with ancient understanding.

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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Deep within us something rejoices at the sight of a newborn baby. Each child is a treasure and sacred. The mother of the child is the bringer of life. The innocence of childhood with its joy of living does not need to be lost as we grow older.

We can regain the joy of living we once had as children. To all of us the gift of life is sacred. We are given the limited time we have to advance humanity’s position on planet Earth.

It is wrong to waste that time in self-destructive or non-productive activities. It is also wrong to destroy the life of another in an act of aggression for personal gain.

It is important we have respect for the lives of others and allow them the space and freedom to live and grow. There is no need to fear allowing others freedom and space. There is a difference in fighting to defend our selves and in the violence of war, rape, pillage and murder. When unprovoked never strike the first blow that harms another.

However, when a conflict is inevitable the first blow should be ours and that blow should be decisive. Imagine that we drive to a shopping center late one evening for some last minute shopping and leave the store to return to our car. We are pushing a cart of groceries before us.

As we enter the parking lot and near our car a suspicious and threatening person advances toward us. Looking wildly around for an escape route we see another person coming up behind us. There is no escape and we are stabbed, beaten and die in that dark parking lot because someone wanted our money to buy drugs.

We were so paralyzed with fear we were unable to make one move to defend ourselves. We lived and we died a helpless victim. The policeman around the corner arrived too late to save us.

But what about our loved ones? Our spouse, our children, siblings and parents are suddenly also victims. With our death an important part of their lives is gone forever and we did not lift a finger to prevent it. We were frozen with fear.

Because of our inability to act our loved ones will spend the rest of their lives with any empty space we could have filled. Because of our lack of awareness we failed those that loved us at the time they needed us most.

The gift of life is not simple. When we die our death affects the lives of many other people and they become victims also.

We have an obligation to those we love and those that love us. We have an obligation to choose the manner and time of our own death as much as humanly possible. We are obligated to die with dignity and honor if it is within our power to do so.

Be aware enough to recognize and avoid dangerous situations. When it is not possible to avoid a situation have the awareness and competence to initiate appropriate action and control the outcome of the situation. If we need to fight, make sure we strike the first blow and it causes damage. Hopefully it will cause enough damage to end the fight before there even is a fight.

If we die in such a battle we die with dignity and honor. Our loved ones will still mourn our deaths but they will gain comfort in knowing we fought and we never compromised. They will know we inflicted damage on those that destroyed us.

Think of the joy and happiness of our loved ones if we live through such an encounter because we fought back in self-defense. We now have the rest of our lives to share with them.

The family bonds in life are most sacred. It is important we can fight for the safety and protection of those we love. It is not wrong to fight for those we love; it is an obligation. We never know when we may need to fight for survival.

Have the knowledge and ability to fight with teeth and fingernails if those are the only weapons we have. There is within each one of us the capacity for fearful violence and we need to make it our friend. It will work for our survival in such desperate times of need. Our capacity for physical violence is our friend.

It is there to save our lives and the lives of those we love. It is not right to deny and suppress this aspect of who we are. It is a part of being human.

Our children will know and have comfort in the knowledge that we will do anything in our power to protect and save them from threatening situations. We will even give our lives for them if necessary.

Our spouse can feel safe knowing we will always give our support when they need it. They can count on us to do our part and we will support them in doing their part. They can feel our home is a place of safety and refuge.

Our parents need not fear old age because we will be there to take care of them when they need us. Our parents can know we have the ability and the strength to take care of them. Our siblings can see us as examples and draw encouragement from our own successes in life.

We can strive to be living examples so in our death our lives will be remembered.

Care about neighborhood and town and do your part to see it is a safe place to live in. By caring about the safety and welfare of those we love, we benefit others in the community at the same time.

The key to a safe community is to be capable of doing what is needed. We can provide the safety and protection for ourselves and for those we love. The policeman will always be around the corner and out of earshot when we need him. Never expect the policeman to do what we can’t do for ourselves and for each other. It is wrong to give away power and responsibility to a policeman that we should keep for ourselves. It will never be in our best interests to do so.

It is your life. Keep it in your hands!

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The OAK system of magic recognizes 121 different primary magic energies. Level one energy is “Absolute Light” or the “Photon State” and is the highest level possible. Level 121 is “Absolute Black” or the “void”.

These two levels are Cosmic power sources like the two poles of a battery. There is a tremendous voltage between these two levels and the magic energy will take any pathway possible to go from one to the other.

Unlike past magic traditions that used either “Absolute Light” or “Absolute Black” as power sources, OAK uses both at the same time.

It is much like the difference between the electrical system in a flashlight that uses direct current and the electrical outlet in your home that uses alternating current at a much higher voltage.

OAK uses alternating current between levels 1 and 121. The energy flow is in both directions. Because of the two way energy flow, an OAK magician needs to balance and harmonize his or her higher self with their shadow self and integrate them under the ruler ship of the healthy human ego.

In short, an OAK magician needs to be healthy physically, emotionally, and mentally in order to handle the extreme energies they work with.

“Absolute Light” is considered as expansive and masculine or “God” energy. “Absolute Black” is considered an inward manifesting,gravitational type energy and is considered feminine or “Goddess” energy.

These are the two primal power sources that drive the entire OAK magic system. “Absolute Light” and “Absolute Black” have no moral attributes such as right or wrong. In fact, they are both considered extremely healthy and needed for life.

Level 2 is rotating magnetic field energy. This can be either clockwise or counter clock wise and either outward moving or inward moving, male or female. Level 2 energy actually links levels 1 and 121 together for the first time and creates and alternate route for the cosmic energy to flow.

Rotating magnetic field energy is another name for the “magic cone of power” that is generated during magic work. The expansive male type of vortex is protective in nature and keeps out non harmonious influences. This is most commonly used and the deosal circle or clockwise. The counterclockwise or widdershins vortex is a manifesting vortex that aids in the physical manifesting of things. It however, mutates and alters intent to get results so it is not commonly used and considered dangerous.

Levels 3 through 120 are simply the non-physical energies of the physical elements Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium….ect. Each new level is created with the addition of one Proton (Light energy) and one electron (“Black energy). The non-physical levels 3 through 120 create the astral layers around the earth itself. The outermost layer is the Hydrogen layer, the next inner layer is the Helium layer and the next inner to that is the Lithium layer….ect. So in OAK we find exactly 118 layers in the astral world and each layer is associated with one physical element and in the non-physical aspect of that element.

The heaviest possible element has seven complete electron rings around it. Like the seven colors of the rainbow and the seven musical notes of the piano keyboard seven is very significant in nature.

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Organic Gnosticism derives from the original “path of woman” and was created for the male. That much is certain. I can only speculate about the path of the female, but I have been given insight into some things that touch upon magical practice. The Sacred Virgin and the Tantrika is one of them.

In magical practice it is the female that uses male energy mixed with her own energy to create observer selves for both of them, time lines for both of them and the etheric pattern of their entire world at the level of her particular energy. It has long been known that a magician needed to find a female partner capable of manifesting magic in a physical way. Such a female was highly treasured and very few females are at this level of the Tantrika or Diva. These females often worked with several male partners and were teachers to many. They had no need to be virgins. Their normal energy level was the lowest level of sexual orgasm energy.

Now in my personal experience I’ve been drawn into cycles with various females that created observer selves or astral bodies, timelines and worlds from out of each chakra center or energy. None of them were virgins and most were platonic relationships. These cycles didn’t include or require physical sexual relationships. But I worked these cycles developing the crown chakra, the third eye chakra, the throat chakra, the heart chakra, the solar plexus chakra, the spleen chakra and the root chakra before experiencing the final Divine Counterpart cycle of the sexual orgasm energy of the testes/ovaries chakra and this also was non physical in nature.

The point is that each of these women were masters of a certain energy and that energy was what I needed to work with. They were not able to work the lowest energy with other males except for one, the one to whom they lost their virginity!

Every female can work the lowest sexual orgasm energy with one male, the one she loses her virginity to. This is the riddle of the Sacred Virgin and why she was treasured for her magic in magical circles. With all other males she works the energy of her own specialty or mastery and is not able to manifest physically through the magic of sexual orgasm energy. Her magic is of a higher type.

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Then he took the bowl of consecrated salt from the High Priestess as she picked up the bowl of consecrated water. They faced each other and he poured the salt slowly into the bowl of water and set his empty bowl down on the altar. He stayed there as the High Priestess set her bowl on the altar and began casting the circle with her knife. She started in the north west corner of the circle directly where Tobal and the others were standing and moved deosil walking the perimeter of the circle saying.

May this circle be a meeting place of love, joy and truth. Shield us against evil, protect us and direct the power we shall raise tonight. In the name of the Lord and Lady, So mote it be.”

The High Priest joined her as they both came back to the circle entrance. With her knife she opened a pathway for them to enter the circle. Then she and the High Priest began to admit members into the circle with a hug and kiss spinning them clockwise into the circle. The High Priestess greeted the males and the High Priestess greeted the females into the circle until everyone was within the circle and seated.

The entry was sealed and the High Priest took the bowl of water and started at the North signal fire behind the altar sprinkling it with the water and salt mixture. He continued around the circle stopping at each quarter sprinkling the water and salt mixture intoning.

“I purify you with water.”

Coming once more to the North he continued around the circle sprinkling each member with water and blessing him or her.

As he was doing this a different Master in a red cloak took up a smoking smudge of sage and stopped at each quarter waving the smoking smudge saying.

“I purify you with air.”

She continued around the circle blessing and purifying each circle member.

Another Master took a flaming torch from the central bonfire and purified the circle and members with fire. Only the High Priestess and High Priest had their hoods down. The other red cloaked figures had large hoods that covered their faces and hid their identities. Tobal only recognized Ellen as the HighPriestess.

The High Priestess went to the East of the circle and drew an invoking pentagram of air with her knife.

“Watchtowers of the East, powers of air. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving along the edge of the circle to the South Quarter she traced a matching invoking pentagram of fire in the air in front of the signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the South, powers of fire. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the west she traced an invoking pentagram of water in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the west, powers of water. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the North she traced an invoking pentagram of earth in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the North, powers of Earth. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Tobal suddenly felt an electrical tension that filled the circle. It was a powerful energy but also quiet and balanced. He sensed each of the four energies and wondered at their uses.

Returning to the altar in the North, the High Priestess made the sign of the cross and turned with her back facing the altar. Her robe slipped to the ground displaying her naked body in the fire light.

The High Priest with his right fore finger touched her right breast, left breast, womb, and back up to her right breast making a downward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lady that is deep within you and has always been within you from the birth of your physical body and from the birth of your eternal soul. Join us in peace and love within our circle and give us your blessings.”

The High Priest stepped back and waited silently. The High Priestess opened her eyes and Tobal could swear it was not the same person. Her eyes and voice took on a power and authority that filled the entire circle.

“Let there be Love.”

Slowly they traded places and the High Priest stood with his back to the altar and his robe slid to the ground exposing his hard and muscled figure. The High Priestess with power and authority touched him first on the center of the forehead, then the left shoulder, the right shoulder and back to the forehead once more making an upward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lord that is deep within you and has always been within you since the birth of your physical body and the birth of your immortal soul. Join us in energy and light within our circle and give us your blessings.”

Then she stood back and waited. The High Priest opened his eyes and responded spreading his arms wide in blessing.

“Let there be Light!”

Tobal could feel energy filling the circle. It was charged with a type of static electricity and was feeling hot and stuffy, almost a little uncomfortable. He also felt the presence of the Lord and Lady within the High Priest and High Priestess and wondered at it.

The High Priestess and the High Priest then stood side by side facing the East holding hands as she intoned the charge of the Lord and Lady as he first heard it during his initiation.

He felt deeply stirred at the memory and suddenly he could see and feel both the Lord and Lady leaving the High Priest and High Priestess and taking their place above the central fire. He sensed them in his mind looking down in blessing and filling the circle with love, peace and healing. It seemed they looked directly toward him and smiled in welcome.

Then the drums began and members began to dance deosil around the circle. Tobal joined reluctantly at first and then with growing passion. They danced slowly and then more wildly as the energy level rose. The drums beat more rapidly and the dancers became crazed throwing off robes and dancing naked in the fire light. They leapt and sang in ecstasy moving around the fire alone and as partners, loosing themselves to the beat and rhythm of the drums. Tobal gave himself to the pounding rhythm and to the Lord and Lady. He was dancing for them.

The drums beat faster and faster until the dancers were sweat streaked but showing no sign of stopping. A sudden signal from the High Priestess brought complete and abrupt silence to the entire circle as everyone turned and looked at her. The tension and energy in the circle was overpowering.

“Lord and Lady,” she shouted, “We ask you to send your blessings and our blessings out to those in special need this night. We especially ask you to bless and assist those that are about to solo. Be with them and guide their steps so they may return successfully to us in a month’s time. So mote it be!”

“So mote it be,” the entire circle replied and Tobal felt such a wave of energy and love wash over him that he was swept out of his body and up once more into the arms of the Lady, this time as a baby. She gazed lovingly into his eyes as his consciousness faded away.

Tobal woke as someone helped him back to the edge of the circle where his robe was laying. The circle felt empty, the energy was gone although he still felt it inside himself. That wasn’t the end though because Nikki’s initiation began. Again he experienced the build up of energy, only this time it was directed at Nikki. Again in his minds eye he saw the Lord and Lady taking their place above the central fire.

Later there were people standing in relaxed bunches around fires drinking and eating. Instinctively he knew the circle had done some powerful magick that night and that his solo would be blessed.

This was quite different from the wild party he had experienced last month. There was a feeling of joy, friendship and goodwill as people joked and talked with each other helping themselves to enormous quantities of food and drink. They gradually moved into small groups to quietly sit together and talk far into the night. He made a special point of welcoming Nikki into the clan.

He spent time chatting with Zee and noticed Angel was back from sanctuary. She was limping slightly but otherwise seemed to be doing well. He met another Apprentice named Tara. He had noticed her dancing and made a special point to meet her. Wayne and Char were both there laughing at some of the stories Rafe was telling. It was a good party and he felt warm and happy when he finally made his way to bed.

Tobal’s solo wasn’t the way he envisioned it. He left circle on the 2nd morning when everyone else was leaving. He had decided to explore some country that he hadn’t visited before and wanted to find a place with adequate water. He was also interested in finding an area where he could set up a permanent base camp. To his surprise, he wasn’t interested in the solo. He was interested in exploring.

With those two things in mind he decided to head south and see what the country was like. His map showed a small lake about a hundred miles South. He wanted to check it out and do some exploring. It was out of the area he was expected to stay within but there were no hard rules about where he could and couldn’t go. His vision of the Lord and Lady seemed to be directing him and pulling him toward that lake for some reason. He had noticed it on the map before but it was only since last night he really felt compelled to see it on his own.

Somehow the energy of the circle last night had changed something inside of him and altered his plans about where he was going to solo. Still it felt right and he headed east until he found a small stream that emptied into the lake. With a light heart he whistled as he started out. The day was bright and shiny. He kept on the lookout for things to eat and made a leisurely camp near the stream. It was late May and the weather was a little chill in the evening but wonderful during the day.

After setting up a shelter and gathering fire wood for the night he roasted a rabbit he had gotten with a sling earlier in the day. As it was roasting he brought the last firewood into the camp. He was hoping for fresh fish in the morning and set out fish traps. Earlier he had stopped by one of his caches and brought some smoked jerky from the deer he had killed.

He mixed some of the jerky with greens and made hearty soup that went well with the rabbit. It really hit the spot. He had gotten salt at circle last night and used it sparingly in the food. It was wonderful.

These daily activities were so routine for him that he didn’t really think about them anymore. He was thinking instead about the territory up ahead. Staying alive and having enough food was not a concern thanks to Rafe’s excellent training.

He settled in under the blankets, the crackling of the fire in his ears and firelight flickering against his face. In his minds eye he could see the Lord and Lady watching over him and he wondered at his feeling of being protected. Feeling surrounded in love and peace he fell into an easy sleep waking only to tend the fire as it burned low.

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Your Memory
 
Your loving clear eyes
Greet me from the far distance,
Softly shimmering across to me,
Like bright stars through the fog.
 
I think of you, so return again,
In fairytale brilliance and childhood dreams;
A wind whispers through my soul,
Like through the green trees in the forest.

-Mia Holm 1900
translation by Joe Bandel

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There are times in life when we need to stand fast, resolute, and invulnerable like a rock. In times of assault and trial we feel the need to stand true to our inner convictions, true to what we believe in, in the face of death itself.

At such times we are like a rock in our faith and it is a source of strength to us. This is a sound defensive strategy. It is easier to take a defensive position and resist all attacks rather than attack a superior force or opponent.

It is sound judgment to let the opposition work itself out and deplete its energy while we retain ours through a tight defensive position.

This concept of standing like a rock has a very solid foundation in physical reality and draws strength from physical reality. It also shows the wisdom of caution and non-aggression while remaining true to who we really are.

Due to the hierarchal nature of life, as we develop our own personal power we earn the right to a better position. A position in life that holds more options for us and more chances for fulfillment. This means we may eventually take over a position that someone else already holds.

All positions within the hierarchy are always filled. As soon as a position becomes vacant the proper person fills it. Our struggle to advance becomes a threat to those who currently hold the position we are striving for and they will fiercely resist, not out of malice toward us, but in the interests of self-preservation.

They wish to retain the position they currently hold. It is popular to believe that the advancement of our own interests and pursuit of happiness should not be a threat to anyone else. The truth is that nature is always filled to capacity and the finite world we live in will not grow any larger.

When we advance someone else somewhere loses a little space. The opposite is also true. When someone else somewhere loses a little bit there is an opening that we can advance into. This happens naturally as people in the workforce age and retire leaving empty positions to be filled by younger people. The difference between these two methods is profound. The first is aggression and open attack for power and position in life. The individual attempts to force his or her will upon others.

The second method is when a person stays at his or her current position slowly and gradually gaining personal power as little openings present themselves and at the proper moment in time when a person in a higher position retires or withdraws that newly vacated position is offered to us. In this method there is no fighting for position and power because it is naturally recognized which person is proper for the new position.

There is no need to attack people who hold positions we aspire to. In the fullness of time and when it is appropriate that position will become ours if it is meant to be. It is wise to be content with our own growth and personal evolution and not threaten people.

There is no need to attack them. They may even at some point attack us simply because our increased energy is becoming a threat to them. Let them draw the first blood.

Many times they feel trapped in positions that are becoming too much for them to handle and they want to find a way out. Attacking us is often a way to hasten their own retirement in an honorable way. Such people feel that it is better to die fighting for something then to be confined for the rest of their living years in an old folks home as they die from a degenerative disease.

When we desire personal growth in life our actions will often result in others attacking us at some point. Our efforts toward self-fulfillment are making it more difficult for others to achieve their own personal goals. At times there is a valid conflict of interest in even the most innocent of goals. We might want what others want and they might want what we want.

To believe otherwise is to bury one’s head in the sand and refuse to see the world as it exists. To admit the realities of life is to come to terms with them in a way that treats others with respect and dignity.

In taking a defensive position and asserting ourselves a little at a time as the opportunity presents we can advance without losing respect for human life and dignity. If others choose to fight us in battle we have the sacred trust and obligation to respect their right and choice and also the sacred trust and obligation to fight back with every ounce of power and energy available to us. We can respect those we battle with as fellow warriors who wish to die in battle or go down fighting.

When others attack it is vital we hold our own against them. We stand firm to what we believe in the face of death itself. Our position is rightfully earned through the honest development of personal power and the accumulated energy of physical work. We do not need to back down.

Often those who attack us are in the position that is right for us. They no longer have the right to that position because they have abused it or have become unfit for it in some manner. These people seek to hold their position through fear and intimidation and not through personal ability. It is a moral wrong to surrender to these people when it is within our power to advance into a position that is rightfully one that we have earned.

It may be morally wrong to aggressively force our way into positions of power and influence, but it is equally wrong to avoid those positions if they are offered to us either as a gift or through the aggressions of others. It is not morally wrong to take the power away from a bully who uses intimidation and terror to achieve his or her goals.

Life situations can take on the quality of opening a can of worms. An action that seems very simple and straightforward can entangle us in a hopeless mess that will drain away our energy reserves. Those in higher positions will attempt to draw us into situations that will entangle us. These people are adept at finding any weak spots that we may have and use them against us.

The key to dealing with these situations is to remain purely defensive. Establish a boundary and don’t let an opponent cross that boundary. Be true to our own interests and keep our efforts and energies away from entanglements and lost causes.

In this way even our weaknesses turn into strengths as we gain awareness of them and are forced to deal with them in an appropriate manner. Often our greatest weaknesses when honestly confronted and owned become our greatest strengths and assets.

Do not aggressively attack for positions of power and influence. Those in superior positions will hold the advantage and turn our own efforts against us. They have the ability to twist and distort our own efforts in a way that will advance their own position. When we refuse to attack they have no means of diverting us and drawing us into unprofitable activities. They can do nothing and we can quietly continue our efforts at personal growth in peace and tranquility.

By remaining in a tightly focused defensive position we can wait out any attack and weather the storm. When the storm is over we will be free to assume the positions in life that we have earned through our own hard effort. Our enemies will have destroyed themselves by bettering themselves against the solid rock of our defense. Openings for advancements will then appear when the timing is right.

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Have you ever fallen in love with the mystery and elusiveness of magic? Do the shadows make your pulse jump? Does energy work fill you with an intense pleasure?

I know that over the years it has done this for me and much more. What yearning can possess someone to seek initiations into secret societies and secret knowledge? There is a hunger in my soul that only magic can fill and this post is for those people like me.

In the subjective world of magic everyone perceives differently but there is one universal truth. Once you have experienced something magical you can recognize when other people talk about similar experiences, even when they use different words and concepts. This is such a broad subject and there are so many places where one could start.

I’ve chosen to begin with magic and its ties to physical reality. Contrary to what many believe, magic is for those seeking material manifestations and intense physical living. It is not an escape from reality, but an intense immersion into physical reality.

Magical energy is generated by the physical body. It stands to reason that anyone seriously interested in magic must take good care of their physical body and treat it as the temple which it truly is.

Extreme living is the norm for magical practitioners. Often excessive, compulsive behavior is needed to develop the magical powers of the soul. Think about it. An intense energy drives people who are serious about magic.

So what is magic? It makes me almost puke to to hear “change in conformity with will” or some other garbage.

Let me tell you what I’ve heard from sources I trust. The Rosicrucians claimed that H Spencer Lewis, former Imperator, was able to manifest gold through alchemy in a public demonstration. Joseph Weed mentions that a Rosicrucian master manifested physical roses that fell in an auditorium. These roses had stems that tapered into points. They were not natural flowers.

These statements clearly state physical manifestations are possible. As a Rosicrucian of over 20 years I’ve studied the techniques claimed to manifest these things. I have not had such impressive results. I hope to someday find conclusive proof of this one way or another. In the meantime I would like to share that the world is currently in a magical battle and that ordinary magical practices no longer apply.

What I have personally experienced is powerful transformative techniques that have changed my life. These have been magical in every way. I have also experienced precognitive dreams on a regular basis which proves that physical events must happen astrally before they manifest physically.

I have also experienced lucid dreaming in which the outcome of an event was altered through will and magical effort. There is no doubt that such dreams altered the potential outcome of real physical events which happened the next day.

Over the past twenty five years I have developed all astral bodies and their powers. I currently function in multiple realities. The astral planes are no longer theoretical, but actual and I experience them every moment of my day!

In summary, astral work or dream work can and does alter physical reality before it manifests. That is enough for me to believe in the value of magical workings and the validity of astral phenomenon.

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Whether you are generating sexual orgasm energy with an opposite sex partner, homosexually or auto erotically you will still experience the incubus or succubus. Sexual dreams are a normal part of a healthy dream life. By generating and sending sexual orgasm energy you’re actively provoking such experiences!

The act of generating sexual orgasm energy is a mechanical process. How the body stores that energy during the day and releases it into the astral at night through dreams is the magical part of the process.

Sexual orgasm energy is highly polarized as male or female and will attract suitable opposite sex energy within the dream environment. You will draw astral lovers to yourself or be drawn to them. This is all part of the process and is involuntary unless you deliberately choose to send the energy to someone in particular or go to them.

The incubus or succubus is a projection of the shadow self of your magical partner. The more distorted the incubus or succubus, the more distorted your magical partner’s belief in themselves. The same is true for angelic love encounters. These are projections of your partner’s higher self and not of their true nature. Only after you and your magical partner dissolve and integrate these two secondary personalities can you meet face-to-face within the dream/astral worlds. What this means is that in the beginning you will encounter the demonic side of your magical partner and they will encounter your demonic side. You’ll come face-to-face with their greatest fears and they will come face-to-face with yours. You will also come face-to-face with their greatest desires and they with yours. But neither are real. They are the sharing of not self; those things despised or those things desired but unattainable.

Coming face-to-face with the greatest fears of someone else is even more challenging than confronting your own greatest fears. The same is true for your greatest desires. These things are what makes this path so difficult. You need to integrate both the shadow and higher self of your magical partner as well as integrating your own shadow or higher self.

Fortunately this is an automatic process that unfolds gradually in its own time and in its own way as you continue to generate sexual orgasm energy twice a day.

There is an ancient wisdom within the physical body and that wisdom guides the entire process. First is the dissolving and integration of the shadow and higher self, then the giving and receiving of energy to the female to create her own Observer self, then the birth of an astral child that will house the male’s Observer self, then the creation of a personal timeline and lastly the astral creation of an entire world.

Throughout this process various other experiences will follow as the soul develops and begins to function magically within the astral worlds. You maintain an astral connection with your magical partner throughout the entire cycle and remain permanently linked at its conclusion even though you may each go separate ways.

It is likely that you will be drawn into various cycles with various magical partners as level after level of the astral is explored and layer after layer of the soul is developed. But there will only be one magical partner at a time. This is the concept known as magical celibacy. The incubus and succubus are personality fragments of actual people whom you are in energetic contact with in some manner, personally, or even over the Internet.

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