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It was an hour later when the first air sled appeared and circled over them. By then they were three miles away from the abandoned camp and heading upstream. They waved but the medic didn’t wave back. After circling a few times he simply left.

Tobal was feeling uneasy about the situation and knew continuing upstream was a mistake. It would give the impression they might follow the stream back down again to return into the forbidden area. With this in mind he checked his location on the map and set out directly cross-country toward the gathering spot. Twice that day air sleds checked on them but simply flew over without circling.

They made a few dry camps before reaching water again and the going was extremely rough. The terrain was much more rocky with less vegetation and animal life. More than once Tobal was grateful for Melanie’s prowess with snare and sling. Things would have been much more difficult if he had been on his own out here.

There were no more air sleds and Tobal felt relief but remained careful. Camps he chose now were secret, hidden and very hard to find. People could pass a few yards from his shelter without knowing he or Melanie was there. They found caves to sleep in and built fires with dry wood that would not smoke and give away their location.

Melanie took to this new training like a duck takes to water. She was naturally secretive and suspicious of strangers. She moved so quietly with the ability to appear and disappear that she seemed like a ghost. She laughed when he told her that though.

Basically Tobal was an even tempered teacher and she was quick and eager to learn. After two weeks of training she had learned navigating by map and compass. While she was an expert with the sling, it took her a while to get her first deer with the bow, mainly because of the terrain they were traveling in.

She was now providing the food for both of them and learning to construct various shelters. It was mid July and there were plenty of berries to eat as well. They saw larger animals like deer, bear, cougar and mountain goats. It was certainly an area not occupied by anyone else.

After two weeks of wandering they found a small hidden canyon with it’s own small waterfall and plenty of game. It was a box canyon with only one entrance that was a narrow crack in a rock face. They only found it by accident when Melanie was checking places to set out snares for the night.

It was this remote little canyon that he decided to make his permanent base camp. They spent the remaining time building shelters. He finished his teepee and used the blanket material they brought as outer covering. Together they built a permanent smoker and rack for sun drying jerky in the hot summer sun and completed a sweat lodge they were both dying to try out.

One morning Melanie came running to him all excited. She had found a honey tree. It was a rare treat and Tobal knew it would make a big hit at circle if they could find a way to get the honey without killing the bees. In the end they covered themselves with poncho material and smoked the bees out reaching into the tree with heavily protected hands and arms. They took two canteen cups full of the rich honey comb and honey leaving the rest for later. Tobal wanted the bees to survive and keep a constant supply of honey available.

Time passed quickly, it was almost the full moon and they were far from the gathering spot. To make things even more complicated they would be coming into the gathering spot from the valley and not from the cliff trail most newbies entered on their first time into the area. He didn’t know how that was going to work out and decided to think about it later when they got closer to circle.

With a smirk of satisfaction he stepped around the boulder from the wide trail onto the narrow ledge and sat down to wait. He had decided the best course was to simply take her up the trail to where the guards would be waiting. He told her to wait five minutes before following him back down and thought the guards would understand what was going on. He passed the area where they had taken him without incident and felt things were going all right. He was totally unprepared for the blood curdling scream and sounds of struggle he heard coming from the other side of the boulder. He should have given her some kind of warning he realized. It was too late now.

Racing back around the boulder he saw Melanie standing with her back to the cliff face, a bloody knife in her hand and a crazed look on her face. She saw Tobal and flung herself into his arms sobbing hysterically and trembling violently.

“They attacked me.” She kept sobbing. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

One of the guards lay sprawled on the trail bleeding fiercely from a gash in his shoulder. Tobal recognized him as a Journeyman named Dirk. The dark haired girl was applying first aid to her fallen companion and ignoring Melanie as if she didn’t exist. The third guard was presumably running for assistance back to the camp.

Tobal held her shaking body keeping her steady until she cried herself out. He didn’t know what to do. Other guards would be coming soon and he was going to be in big trouble. He couldn’t think of anything to say and quietly led Melanie back down the trail. They heard the sound of running feet and moved quickly into the shadows as a group of six guards raced up the trail toward their fallen comrade.

Getting back on the trail they entered the camp and Tobal tried finding someone with a red robe that could straighten this whole mess out. He found Ellen, the High Priestess, by the circle and turned Melanie over to her. Melanie clung first to him as he tried to leave and then to Ellen for reassurance and safety after Ellen convinced her that every thing was going to be all right.

Tobal explained the situation to Ellen and Melanie was aghast and horrified to find out she had attacked and wounded someone that was only trying to initiate her into circle. She was furious at Tobal for setting the thing up and Ellen had to forcibly restrain her from attacking Tobal in her fury. Ellen took it in stride and chuckled a bit.

“You certainly have what it takes to belong to our clan,” she said. “Things will be alright. Don’t worry about it.”

When the guards came to get her Ellen suggested not to fight but go along with them peacefully for her initiation and entry into the clan. Tobal saw with amusement that Rafe was one of them and the dark haired girl another. There were six guards coming over to where Ellen, Tobal and Melanie were talking. Although some of the guards looked angry, Rafe was smiling. Tobal gave him a bear hug and couldn’t help but notice that Rafe flinched as if he were injured or hurt. But Rafe gave no sign anything was wrong and the guards took a peaceful and submissive Melanie to get ready for her initiation.

As they left Ellen turned to him with a grim look on her face and said, “I think you’ve got a little explaining to do to Zee and Kevin. They were looking all over for you after circle last month. I’ll be wanting to talk with you a bit later myself, ok?”

“Oh, damn!” he said. “I forgot all about them! When do you want to talk with me?”

“Sometime after circle.”

Word soon spread that Tobal’s newbie had skewered one of the guards on the way into camp. The guard was doing fine and in no danger. Most clansmen treated it as something that was highly funny but Tobal was not amused. Things had gone horribly wrong and someone could have been hurt or even killed and he felt responsible.

He was at the center of the circle proclaiming Melanie ready for her first solo when he noticed the red-haired girl, Becca, staring at him from the left side of the fire. Turning away, he continued talking and then resolutely returned to his sitting spot determined not to look in her direction again. He had seen the wonder and astonishment on her face and knew she was as surprised to see him as he had been to see her.

Tobal’s situation was unique in that he was acting as a sponsor bringing a person into the clan for the first time and at the same time proclaiming that person ready to solo on their own in less than a month. This was not a normal situation and Melanie’s escapade with the guards made a lively buzz of conversation around the camp as people congregated before the circle and chatted together. To his relief the elders approved her solo.

There were some farewells as some three year Masters left to become citizens. August was hot, very hot even in the mountains. He was thirsty and walked over to the beer barrel.

“Hi Nikki,” he said.

“Oh,” she looked startled and turned around toward him. “Hi.”

“Congratulations on soloing.”

“Thanks.” She said and bit her lip. For some reason she seemed a bit cool towards him.

“Is there anything wrong?”

“No,” she said, “ I’ve just got to get going. I want to train a newbie and need to get my things ready to leave early.” She turned and walked away from him.

“Good luck,” he said to her back as she walked away. There was something definitely wrong and it seemed to be him for some reason.

Moving over by the circle he saw Angel dressed in a black robe and was surprised that she was a Journeyman with three chevrons.

“I thought you were an Apprentice,” he told her. “When I saw you in sanctuary with your broken leg you were dressed in gray.”

“That was because of my injury,” she told him. “When I went through processing for treatment I was given the old gray stuff and my other clothes were ruined.”

They chatted for a bit and she was pleasant. It must just be the Apprentices that were pissed at him.

“Who is that dark haired girl with Dirk?” he asked suddenly. “I’ve been meaning to find out her name for two months now.” He blushed a bit.

Angel laughed. “That’s Misty, she’s only got one more fight to win before she makes Master. Perhaps she can fight you, get you ready for being a real Journeyman?” She winked.

Tobal was embarrassed and changed the subject. He always had trouble with girls and didn’t really know how to take them.

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The Rose

I listened to the dream of the rose,
The chaste, cool fragrance sprayed
From out of her passionate flower’s soul;
I listened to it with all of my senses,
And it intoxicated me.
 
She dreamed of the sun’s rays,
The days fermenting in her veins,
Nights nourishing her with dew and moonlight,
And wildly frothing for her through an ocean of air,
Of these she dreamed.
 
Yet she didn’t notice the golden beetle
That was laboriously climbing her chalice,
Writhing in intoxication from her perfume,
Stabbed to death by her ardent passion;
She didn’t notice.
 
So the rose shown forth in chaste splendor,
Enjoying her ardent passion and laughed:
“I have the most glorious of souls, I.
I am certainly the queen,
Of my sister flowers!”
 
And a steel blue butterfly came whizzing by,
That buzzed and cooed of love,
Who graciously inhaled her perfume: and left,
Otherwise her radiant womb would be its grave.
“I am the bride of the light!”
 
Yet when the third afternoon came,
Since I had taken up the dream of the rose,
Her queenly head hung there,
Bowed in the glare of the sun, dusty,
Stabbed to death by the hot light.

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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Why do people fall in love? Why do people fall out of love? These are questions that have been asked for as long as people have fallen in love. We fall in love because there is a need for what our partner provides.

Love is a symbiotic relationship that goes to our core. There are marked differences between the sexes that need to be openly stated and discussed. Males and females each follow different paths of ego development.
The book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” touches upon these striking differences. We each create what the other craves and needs. Most of us dream of a soul mate relationship with a partner ideally suited for us, someone that would complete us in all ways. Just about everyone would like that experience.

To aspire to this type of romantic love relationship is one of the most selfish things possible. Such a relationship would contain only two people and leave out the rest of the world wouldn’t it?

At least that is the fear of many people when they see two lovers caught up in each other. Friends, family and job often suffer and take a lower priority and importance than the romantic partner. The collective suffers.

To become too involved in love threatens the social structure and the survival of the community. We don’t have time any more for our friends.

Our society and culture actively encourage us to think of others, to think of national interests, our political party, favorite charity, job and community. Society and culture are constantly trying to find new ways to separate us from our romantic partner. It is not surprising so few romantic love relationships ever last.

There are so many powerful forces in each of our lives working against it from the very start. We are taught being selfish is wrong and this is the fundamental point we must come to terms with if we ever want romantic love and have it last.

Being selfish and wanting love and a romantic partner is a good thing and not a bad thing. Society and community will benefit from romantic love relationships. Family is at least as important as the security of our nation. Should we deny ourselves happiness in life and suffer for other people or should we live for our own happiness and share that happiness with those around us? To experience romantic love we live for our own happiness and follow a course of action that will find us an appropriate partner.

What is it that makes romantic love so special? Why do we feel alive and vibrant when we are with the person that we love? Why does that person make us feel complete?

It is this feeling of completeness that really defines romantic love. In this feeling of completeness we feel that we have a self. This feeling of completeness makes us feel like a person, like an individual. We feel complete and it feels good! We feel important and loved as much as we love. We also feel all we need is the love of our partner and that is the danger.

Most of us have experienced that intense emotional experience called “puppy love”. This is a soul level experience and involves our capacity for love. In “puppy love” we have a giant crush on somebody and give all of ourself to this person gladly and willingly. We expect that same intensity of love in return and when it is not returned we are no longer as young and innocent as we were before.

From this point on we earn the love and respect of any potential romantic partner and it is not an easy road to follow. To find love we first find self esteem and learn to love our own self.

Love and respect exist on every level. We develop the capacity for self esteem and love with our entire being. The only way to do this is to find someone to interact with us and teach us. This means we can be attracted to someone spiritually, mentally,emotionally, sexually or physically. Each type of love relationship is valid and causes our souls to grow as we share with this other person.

Somehow we find a teacher for each type of energy, someone of the opposite sex that will teach us the mysteries of that energy, someone that will give us experience that we need. At the same time we are teaching them and giving them experiences they need to become complete. We use each other to become complete.

It is very rare that one person will be able to teach us and develop us in each of the energies. It is more probable that we fall in love at different times with different people and learn the lessons they each have to teach us. We in turn will be helping them to learn and develop in a mutual relationship of growth and development. These relationships end when our capacity for self-esteem and love has been established and we are ready to move on to other areas. We have become complete in that area and don’t need them anymore. This defines a co-dependent relationship fairly well.

When we fall in love with someone of the opposite sex the energy dynamics will help each partner develop an astral body and sense of self. It is this feeling of growth and completeness that makes love so exhilarating. When we are with this person we feel alive and vibrant.

There are many ways to fall in love with someone. The relationship may even be only a casual friendship or acquaintance, love at a distance. In each instance there is a mutual attraction of energy.

This all sounds so complex and impersonal that I would like to share my own story. I have experienced devastating “puppy love” in my youth and then later a broken marriage that taught me many karmic lessons about living with someone else.

Through the healing process I was attracted and fell in love with other women that were teachers and taught me different growth experiences and relationship skills. At the conclusion of each relationship we managed to part with as much love, respect and peace as possible. We simply grew away from each other and were healthy enough to let go when we needed to.

These some of these relationships would be considered platonic and non-physical in nature. They involved minimal physical contact with each other but major contact with each other in dreams of great intensity. This dream contact always led to an alchemical marriage type of experience in which our astral bodies were bonded together at every level possible. Each relationship gave the impression of being a soul mate relationship but only on the level it existed on. When personal growth spilled over into other levels the relationship was terminated. We could not give each other what we needed for continued soul growth.

Each woman gave me experiences that I badly needed to learn. Because of these experiences I am more able to do my part in making a relationship work over long periods of time. My experiences were all positive and healing. It was these relationships that allowed me to find my current wife.

Because of these experiences I feel it is natural for different people to come into our lives at times and then leave when they are no longer needed. Such relationships encourage and develop our inner selves and bring needed communication and relationship experience. The important thing is to be able to let go when we must let go and be able to do so with as much love as possible.

Not one of my experiences in a relationship was repeated in another one. It was as if something was created within me and reached fulfillment. Each relationship involved new energies and new issues in my life. Each relationship was healthier because I was able to use my growing relationship skills to sustain it for as long as possible. Each relationship made new demands on me that increasingly involved effort on my part to make the relationship work. By now I have become convinced a lasting love relationship is one of the most difficult things possible but also one of the most rewarding.

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STEP FIVE

After you have perfected the basic energy ball it is time to start working with it in a deliberate and conscious manner. Your awareness can reside in this energy ball. In a way this energy ball is an astral vehicle for your awareness. We are going to use it to open the blocked energy pathways within the body.

This energy ball is your “safe” area where you can safely come to terms with “buried” and repressed emotional baggage and trapped “black” energy. In this safe area you bring “black” energy under conscious control. You begin by working from the top downward one layer at a time.

After forming the energy ball try to raise it as high into the spiritual light as you can. From this point on always attempt this contact with the “light” because it is your energy source. Feel your mind and awareness rise as if it is in an elevator as you raise the energy ball into the light. Move the energy ball up and down and feel your awareness move up and down with it. Get used to the feeling of your awareness rising and lowering through these different energy levels.

Next try forcing the energy ball down the spine. Because the rest of the body is not “synchronized” there will be resistance and it will not want to go very far. Make this attempt at least three times before quitting. After the third try raise the ball as high as it will go toward your “energy source”. Your energy ball will have accumulated “dark” energy and need to be purified in the light.

As the energy ball comes in contact with repressed “black” energy it grabs the black energy like a magnet. This black energy will cling to the energy ball. Only moving the energy ball back up into the light will release the black energy.

This is important because your downward efforts have loosened quite a bit of “black” energy and brought it to your awareness in a shocking manner. The spiritual or light energy helps to dissolve and neutralize the “black” energy keeping you soundly in control of those waves of emotion that will begin to wash over you later during the day.

This simple practice will release incredible amounts of trapped emotional energy allowing it to be used for other purposes. It is possible to intensify the experience by taking a deep breath and holding it while both raising the ball and forcing it downward against the resistance. Try it first without holding your breath. When you have done as much as you can move to this next step. Take your time. This may take several sessions. You are releasing toxins from the body and turning them over to your higher power.

The method I used was to inhale, hold my breath and mentally push the energy ball downward. Then I would exhale and inhale and exhale normally before repeating. This practice of holding the breath as long as comfortable is extremely powerful because it forces oxygen into the blood and then into the brain. It can easily cause dizziness and should only be used with caution by those in excellent health.

Even if done only once a day this exercise will release “trapped” emotional energy throughout the entire day as spontaneous waves that suddenly wash over you. As a result you will be very preoccupied with your personal growth and healing process. It will be a highly disruptive period but a very productive one.

As I was working through some of my “black” energy I felt what I was doing was the most important thing I had ever done in my life. I was freeing myself from past karma that had held me back my entire life. It was also the most exciting thing I had ever done and was very intense. I could feel the power flowing through me!

Early Christians called this type of experience taking away your sins or freeing yourself from your sins. They had their own method of releasing this trapped emotional energy.

STEP SIX

By the time you are able to move the energy ball down into the solar plexus area you will notice something very disturbing. The energy ball will go down quite easily but will tend to get “stuck” when you try to raise it back up! Some people have noticed this at the throat chakra. This indicates a deeply rooted emotional trauma that is not easily released. It is like a time bomb of toxic energy inside us waiting to go off. The best thing to do is to not force things and gently work the energy ball up and down the spine several times.

Each time the energy ball rises up the spine little slivers or splinters of “black” energy will be released. Work past the deeply buried problem area and the energy will release itself. This will probably happen as a spontaneous release of emotional weeping. As an example I was working through some childhood issues when suddenly I was overwhelmed by feelings of emotional abandonment I had experienced as a child and repressed as too painful to remember. That toxic energy had been trapped in my physical body since I was a child. This did not happen during the meditation but later during the day.

After two hours of emotional sobbing and releasing the energy I felt better than I ever had in my life. Something bad in my life was no longer there. It had been released. If this energy had not been released it would have been released in knee-jerk psychotic behaviors beyond my conscious control. This is what I mean by safely releasing the energy and working the energy ball from the top down.

This also stresses the importance of developing the energy ball as a safe area for your awareness to retreat to if it has to. From the mental perspective it is easier to deal with these emotional time-bombs we all have within us. It allows us to remain in control and “safely” experience and release that which must be experienced and released.

STEP SEVEN

Continue moving the energy ball downward until it can move freely from the base of the spine to the top of the head without any restrictions or releases of “black” energy. When this has been accomplished your entire body will be phase locked with the spiritual energy source above your head.

“Spiritual energy” can now circulate freely throughout your entire body making small adjustments to increase your health and vitality. Emotional, sexual, and physical energy still can’t circulate freely because they are denser and much slower. They require much more purification. Still, now this can be safely done. The inner circuits already opened will act as emergency relief valves when pockets of denser “black” energy are activated and released.

STEP EIGHT

After moving the energy ball completely up and down the spine without resistance try forcing it downward toward the center of the earth. This will tap into more “black” energy that is surrounding your environment. By releasing this energy into your awareness you are defusing potentially dangerous situations by gaining awareness of them and neutralizing the charge they carry.

This earth energy will activate more “black” energy within your body and shake it loose so you can get rid of it. As long as your energy ball is “phase locked” with the spiritual power source all released “black” energy will go upward until it comes into conscious awareness where it can be dealt with safely and harmlessly. In AA this is termed turning things over to a “Higher Power”. We are using the energy ball to do this in a more mechanical way.

There is a power point where your feet touch the earth. Create an energy ball at this point and work with it as before. There are nine chakra points. Seven are within the body. One is just above the top of the head and one is where the feet touch the earth.

With practice you will be able to effortlessly move the energy ball deep within the earth and raise it upward as high as possible until it disappears into the “spiritual” light. Doing this will draw earth energy up into your body as a second power source. It will also create a column of light that goes from your spiritual power source down into the center of the earth to connect with your earth power source and with element #118.

This will establish a strong two way current within your physical body and anchor both power sources in a way that will make them constantly open and active. This ensures rapid growth and development as all parts of your body and psyche begin to “phase lock” together.

Only at this point is it safe to work will the strong physical and sexual energies in any serious manner.

For all practical purposes this completes the “lesser” work and begins the work of working with the dense earth energies. It took about six months for me to do. I have done it with groups of people in two hours. Working as a group makes the process much easier because you are able to draw on other groups members for help through the tough spots.

With the opening of these channels added energy flows through the body as the result of both solar and lunar influences. Now these powerful cycles are adding their energy with yours and individual progress is greatly accelerated. You become a channel for cosmic energies, solar energies and lunar energies.

When completed this meditation creates a permanent change within the energy channels of the physical body. It opens and releases blocked areas. I have done this with over sixty people in different group settings with similar results and feedback.

It is the most powerful way I know of to open the major energy channels within the body. It is also the fastest and safest.

In Masonry the “Royal Arch Degree” symbolizes what this meditation does. The mason is searching for the lost word and treasure. Among the ruins of an old building they excavate and find a hidden chamber. Beneath that chamber lies another chamber and beneath that yet another. Depending upon the variation of masonry there are seven or nine chambers that must be excavated to reach the bottom and find the lost word.

This meditation uses nine chambers, the seven within the physical body,one above the body and one beneath the body. It connects these chambers with two sources of cosmic power. Spiritual energy is tapped as high into the light as possible to reach. We lift the energy ball into the light until the toxic energy it carries is released.

The second source of cosmic power lies at the center of the earth. We draw that up into our lives for increased health and empowerment.

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I’ve just finished some research on the Holy Grail. Please bear with me as I try to put some unconventional thoughts into words, thoughts that reflect my personal experience.

As Jakob Boehme stated the female womb or matrix includes a spiritual matrix as well. But I would not put it exactly that way. I have described how tantric sexual orgasm creates male/female cycles where the immortal soul or observer self is created and also timelines and entire worlds in holograph form. This can be with Divine Counterparts, chakra soulmates, tantrikas and love partners. There is so much we don’t know about the female mysteries.

The main point to be stated unequivocally is that the female womb not only creates babies, but also soul bodies or observer selves, astral bodies, timelines and alternate worlds. It does this when non-physical male orgasm energy is mixed with the females own energy to form a third energy that is magical. The male himself is not able to create astrally, but can use his energy to destroy, heal and make grow. The male requires the female to be open to his energy if it is to become creatively magical. And the female has the power to block any unwanted energy that she doesn’t want. But she can’t create magic without male energy to mix with hers.

So the female womb is capable of creating physically, spiritually, magically and astrally with the addition of the proper non-physical male energy mixing with her own. Because of this the female womb has been called the Holy Grail, the Magic Cauldron, The Fountain of Life and many other mythical things. But in terms of the Holy Grail it is sought after by knights on a perilous quest. It can only be activated by love, energy sex, tantric sex or the generation of non-physical sexual orgasm energy!

The Holy Grail will destroy all who seek it for purely physical sex or animalistic pleasure. The magical female womb works through non-physical energies and not through the use of male sperm and physical sex which is considered normal sex that often results in procreation. This is the solution to the sacred mystery and it is very profound.

Now the male has a very difficult time generating non-physical sexual orgasm energy without sperm loss and most efforts are not enough to produce meaningful results unless tantric sex is practiced where orgasm is prolonged, the energy is passed to the female and the sperm is not lost.

So the quest for the Holy Grail is something like this:

The female womb is a magical object that can create all things but only with the proper mix of non-physical male and female energy. The male is required to learn how to produce non-physical sexual orgasm energy through some type of tantric practice. The female womb has the power to destroy as well as to create!

This is the quest for the Holy Grail and only the bravest are able to succeed at it. It is another example of the tantric left hand path but offers even more advice on how dangerous lust and animal pleasure can be. It is a spiritual quest. It is a quest for the development of the soul and it’s powers. This is achieved through the creative power of a third energy that is produced within the womb and released into the astral planes where it will be allowed to physically manifest.

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Since I’ve already posted the first part of the OAK Energy Ball Meditation I need to share more information about it. That post was how to do it and this post is what is does!

Traditionally magical orders would connect new members into the organizations egregores through magical initiation. The traditional magical order was hierarchal in nature, OAK is not hierarchal. The traditional magical order initiated through a chain of linked individuals that worked as an electrical circuit wired in series. Upon induction the initiate transferred his or her power to the egregore of the order with the promise of some day getting it back with interest. This was essentially a pyramid scheme because the energy was always kept in the hands of the higher ups.

OAK does things differently, it wires its members in parallel circuits where each receives the most they can from the very beginning! It does this by first linking its members to the highest energies and then linking them to the lowest earth energies in a spiritual way. The more people that are linked together, the greater the tank current that is generated and that can be drawn upon by any individual member.

The OAK Energy Ball Meditation of Spiritual Baptism which I recently posted connects each individual to their own Higher Self and Source in a permanent way. Once this connection is established it is permanent and can’t be undone. This meditation/initiation fuses the spiritual energies of Source with those of the pineal gland, pituitary gland and the thyroid glands and phase locks them together in a permanent way.

This formation of the OAK Energy ball is the true initiation into the 1st OAK Degree.

With the successful completion of this portion of the meditation the Organic Gnostic has gone beyond mere exposure to these concepts and taken the next step in actually experiencing them within their own body and soul and begun the harmonization of these energies. This is a very powerful crossing of a magical threshold that brings one within the protective energies of the Order itself. It creates a permanent change in the astral fabric of the individual soul. Once correctly completed the meditation never needs to be repeated because the new pattern will resist change.

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The exposure to the concepts in my posts is an initiation in its own right that needs to be discussed. In one way or another this is the way initiation has always been. It begins with exposure to new concepts and dots begin to be connected within each individual’s own paradigm of reality. An awareness and understanding once expanded can never return to the smaller box it originally lived in! That means each new connection and illumination bring changes to the psyche that can’t be undone, only modified.

The intent of my posts is to offer antidotes to toxic concepts that already plague and torment humanity. They are meant to spark original thought and to be left behind when one has found their own truth. A true catalyst leaves nothing of itself behind!

These posts consist of what I call the OAK material, short for Order of Anarchistic Knights. I might also say short for Organized Applied Knowledge! This knowledge is woven together so tightly that it creates a matrix that is self supporting and self sustaining. It is all connected together in some way even if that connection is not readily apparent.

Entry into such a matrix is a one way street. Once you start on the path of Organic Gnosticism there is no going back! The thing to be pointed out is simply that these posts reflect my own personal matrix and you need to develop your own! Traditionally by offering my own matrix you can sort through it and take from it things that you like. By making this material public I am less likely to get into magical duels because your own matrix will not be as likely to conflict with mine and it might even be supportive of mine! This creates a win-win situation for everyone!

So exposure to these concepts is an initiation in its own right, and the soul growth and development of the Organic Gnostic gradually increases as the material is integrated and the catalytic effect is gone. That point has it’s own grade of OAK Minerval. But in any magical system the first step is exposure to the energies and concepts of that system. The right people will be attracted and the wrong people will be turned away. That is the way it has always been.

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Today we are going to talk about physical life and the soul. The physical body creates the soul, the Observer self or the ego and it’s actually a byproduct of the invention of reading and writing. It was discovered that this watcher or Observer self exists far beyond the death of the physical body and is immortal. But it was originally created by the physical body and that is why physical life is the most important thing in the universe!

That’s why physical life is so sacred and why Gaia is so sacred now. Once the soul is developed it can exist for thousands of years without a physical body. I’m not going to argue because that does seem to be the case, but it will gradually dissolve and lose awareness until it fades away into nothingness If it is not reunited at some point in time with a new physical body. That is why I have shared that the soul requires a physical body and a million years from now, a billion years from now, the soul is still going to require some form of physical body.

This whole concept that the soul is going to merge back into Source is not what’s meant to happen because life is meant to grow, become more complex and explore all things. It’s not meant to dissolve back into nothing and anyone that has had the mystical experience of merging back with Source can tell you that once you merge back and are embraced with that Source energy it will gently send you back out into the world again.

That’s the truth. So this whole concept of going away and leaving the physical body behind forever is false. The idea is that we bring heaven to earth, not that we go to heaven! I’m also going to admit there are entities or beings that exist within the astral and they may have at one point existed within physical bodies. Either that or they are tasked with holding the fabric of physical reality together and the time will come when they also have to make the choice of living within physical bodies.

They will need to decide if It’s time to come back and experience life in a physical body to renew their soul so that their soul can grow and develop. A lot of spiritual teachings through the ages have said that being in a physical body and experiencing physical life is an important opportunity for rapid soul development. These souls or awareness’s without physical bodies don’t have opportunities for rapid soul growth.

The main way these souls develop is through interaction with people who are all already in physical bodies and then they draw life force energy from those people.

Now I’m going to talk about three types of people. The three types of people I’m going to be describing have already developed souls or are in the process of developing souls for the first time.

I call the first group organic Gnostics or true mystics. They have a physical genetic connection with all of life on Gaia as well as a spiritual connection. They are able to go as high as possible in a physical material way, but also in a nonphysical, mystical and magical way. They are able to integrate their own shadow and higher self aspects and that is what makes them so powerful. That is also what makes them so threatening to the two groups of people that I’m going to talk about next.

These are the rational atheists and the social enforcers. The rational atheists and the social enforcers are space brothers and sisters with pre-existing souls that have incarnated in physical bodies to experience physical life and continue the development of their own souls. But both groups are extremely different and they both lack a spiritual genetic connection to earth. So when they are here in physical bodies. They don’t do so well unless they enlist the help of the true mystics or the organic Gnostics.

There’s a big difference between enlisting the help of the original inhabitants and trying to enslave them! That’s what historically has tried to happen!

The rational atheist group can be extremely intelligent but they believe in hard science. They believe in logic and reason, and there is no spiritual. There is no afterlife. They don’t recognize any paranormal activity at all and back before before the time of Christ, this group was called the Semites. Today these souls can be of any race, creed, religion or nationality. But the nature of their soul still remains the same.

Generally speaking, they do not believe in an afterlife and do not believe in the soul. I’m giving a blanket description of the rational atheists and you can find them in any country and in any nationality of the world. But this is their internal wiring and they come into physical bodies with a strongly developed sense of the group soul.

They tend to be collectivists, and instead of self they think of race. They think of the collective hive mind and the higher good of the whole. You get the picture. I’ve talked about them before.

The social enforcers or the traditionalists are extremely psychic and they can perceive things in the astral but they don’t understand that the astral is mostly made up of ghosts of the past. They can’t creatively fashion a new future so they remain stuck in a repeating loop of history that keeps repeating itself over and over. That’s why they are called traditionalists and history does tend to be circular. Time does try to repeat itself, but it’s never the same. So the social enforcer’s traditionalist view of things is not entirely correct,

As the soul grows and develops it has new requirements. The social enforcers have the idea that life on earth is sinful and unclean and they deny the physical. They deny the physical body. They believe in a life after death and that’s what’s important. They also believe in merging back into Source. They have glorified this to the point where they are willing to destroy life upon earth to go back to God.

That makes this particular group of people perhaps the most dangerous group of all. We see this group of people in the religious fanatics of the world today!

We can share the common goal of making this earth a paradise with the rational atheists, even though they don’t understand the spiritual realities that we experience. They want a beautiful heaven on earth just like we do!

The social enforcers on the other hand, are intent on destroying everything that life has created so that they can leave the physical bodies in which they feel trapped.

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Chapter 10

Now that she was calmer and accepted the situation things went smoothly. He helped her go through her equipment and made sure she was wearing her med-alert bracelet. He explained about sanctuary, how the food and water were safe to drink but really nasty tasting and how everything was calculated to encourage people to leave as soon as possible.

Tobal showed her the compass and map and which items were more important than others were. He advised her to grab a couple extra blankets off the beds and showed how to pack everything tightly into a pack that she could carry.

He decided to wait out the rain. There was no sense traveling in such bad weather and he spent one more day at sanctuary getting to know Melanie and teaching her how to use the supplies. He explained about the maps and compass and how to read them. On the morning of the 2nd day the rain had stopped and it promised to be mild and clear. The sun was shining. The air was fresh and clear. It was a perfect day for traveling and he started by having her triangulate their location and finding it on the map.

In high spirits they headed straight for the lake cross country to the South East where his main camp was. Melanie was leading the way and tying knots in her cord every ½ mile. Since her steps were shorter than Tobal’s she used a higher number of steps before tying the knot but the principle was the same.

Things didn’t go as smoothly as they had when training with Rafe, especially since he had lost most of his emergency supplies in the flash flood. They did not have much food in reserve and at first needed to rely heavily on the nasty tasting stuff they brought with them from sanctuary.

Melanie proved a quick student with an animal instinct toward self preservation and survival. Tobal made a walking stick for her and showed her how to use it. As they traveled toward the lake he taught her many of the things Rafe had taught him. He taught about testing food to see if it was edible and collecting herbs as they went along. She caught on to snares with an uncanny sense of how animals thought and where they made their trails.

More times than not it was Melanie’s snare or trap that held the rabbit or quail and not Tobal’s. She turned out to be a much better trapper than he was. He comforted himself with the thought they had plenty of meat and spent a few days smoking jerky and building up their emergency food supply.

Melanie proved to be a natural with a sling and said she played a lot of baseball as a kid. She was already skilled in archery, which she learned in high school. She had been on the school archery team.

There were less than 24 days until the next gathering and Tobal wondered if Melanie would be ready. He suspected she would given how fast she caught on to things. He would know for sure by the gathering and pushed the thought out of his mind.

As they drew near base camp his spirits rose and he began describing the beautiful place he had found. She was a good listener and never seemed to tire of his stories and descriptions. Tobal was a good instructor and leader. All thoughts of Becca Morgan were forced out of his mind by the demands of teaching Melanie and he pushed her to the limit. Still there were nights he lay looking up at the stars wondering about and dreading the next gathering when he would see her again.

Melanie thrived in the outdoors environment. Her face became tanned and happy. Her body became hard, brown and sinewy. The bruises on her face disappeared and her laughter was infectious. She became relaxed and easy with herself and with Tobal. The only unusual thing was how she always seemed to have a knife in her hands, sharpening it, tossing it up and catching it, spinning it and even throwing it. Her speed was unnatural. Once they startled a quail at their feet. As it burst into flight she threw her knife with blinding speed and killed it. She took the tail feathers of the quail and wove them into a pretty necklace she wore around her neck. She said she would be making a cloak out of them one day and he believed her.

It was four days when they reached the lake. Tobal looked around his camp with a mixture of shock and grief. There was nothing left standing. It had been vandalized and burned until nothing was left. Two of his food caches had been plundered but luckily they hadn’t found the third in a hollow spot of an old tree and sealed with rocks for protection from squirrels and other animals. As they opened the cache and divided the food Melanie started a fire and began making supper. Tobal wandered the ruins in stunned disbelief with tears stinging his eyes wondering why anyone would have done this. Gradually grief gave way to intense anger that rolled in his belly and glinted harshly in his eyes. He started looking around the camp for signs of who had done this thing.

He found some tracks and sign but wasn’t good enough at reading them to discern much about what had really happened. Obviously three people had come along and destroyed the place. All of his hard work was gone and his supplies ruined. It was hard to tell what was missing or just scattered. He was able to retrieve a few tools. Everything else was a loss.

The attackers left no trail to follow. Not wanting to stay in the remains of the camp they set out around the shore of the lake. There was a waterfall at the far end of the lake where a mountain stream fed into the lake and Tobal wanted to explore that. He had noticed it on his first trip around the lake and something about it called to him. Now he wanted to check it out more closely.

The country was rough and they were careful to keep their own trail hidden. The next camps Tobal and Melanie made were small and well hidden. They now knew why no one else built anything on the lake. It was an obvious target for anyone going up or coming down stream. It was simply not safe and asking for trouble to build there permanently.

The end of the lake with the waterfall was very rocky and difficult to travel. There was no shore and the rock simply dropped down into the water. What Tobal had in mind was finding some way to go upstream and explore with Melanie a couple weeks until the gathering. Perhaps he could find a better place to set up a main camp. With this goal in mind they struggled through the maze of rock, boulders and vegetation until reaching the edge of the water on the left side of the waterfall.

The waterfall was thirty feet high and you could tell it was ancient since it had once been ten feet higher. Erosion by water in the stream bed caused the rock on both sides of the stream to rise like stone pillars hidden by pine trees and forest vegetation. It was a small stream only ten feet wide. The falling water arched over a narrow ledge that disappeared into blank stone wall at the other end of the fall. Where they stood the ledge opened into a small patio like area that was flat and free of rock. It was less than a foot higher than the lake and formed a deep pool.

The water fell into the lake with a roar and violence that made the water churn and froth, but on the side where they were standing the water was inviting and made just for swimming. There was a ledge slightly below the surface of the water so a swimmer could easily climb back out after diving into the icy water. Tobal probed the hidden ledge with his walking stick and the shock of discovery made icy chills explode at the base of his spine. It wasn’t a ledge at all. It was the first of at least three steps that had been deliberately carved into the rock leading down into the pool of water. This was something he needed to explore more deeply on his own later.

The discovery of the stone stairs made him more alert and he carefully examined the small patio area where they stood. Melanie shared his excitement and enthusiasm. She finally found what they both were looking for. The cliff face jutted out in a rough and uneven manner. She had been following the cliff face and turned a sharp corner that couldn’t be seen from the patio area. In a small recess there were distinct foot holes and hand holds carved into the face of the cliff leading up the cliff where they seemed to disappear.

Tobal was first up the cliff and pulled himself onto a wide ledge that wasn’t visible from below. He helped Melanie over the edge and they both looked around with interest. There was vegetation since top soil had collapsed from above and fallen down. Trees, shrubbery and vines found footholds in the small layer of top soil and clung desperately to the rock.

Near the trees a narrow crack in the cliff face formed a small chimney that could be climbed by pressing the body against one side and gradually working up the remaining fifteen feet to the top. They took off their packs and cut one blanket into strips, braiding it into a short rope they used to lift their packs up the chimney.

Grabbing onto foliage and tree roots Tobal pulled himself out of the rock chimney helped Melanie out and coiled the rope putting it into his pack. At the top the soil was heavier and the foliage more dense and almost impossible to get through. The ring of foliage gave way to pine trees and the footing got easier. He could see what looked like a clearing ahead and started toward it.

They broke into the open and looked around in wonder at what had obviously been a camp. There were the remains of permanent shelters and kitchen area. Near the river was a large circle ringed with stone seats that must have been used for ceremonies and initiations. Further up a small hill were the remains of a sweat lodge and beyond that a patch of volunteer corn was still coming up in patches after all these years. It must have been fifteen or twenty years since anyone had visited or used the camp.

A large cairn of rocks dominated the middle of the site and covered with offerings. They were a strange assortment of man made objects weathered and destroyed beyond recognition of what they once had been. There was a haunted feeling that struck him and he had the sudden conviction he was looking at a mass grave of those that once lived here.

This was the place he had been dreaming about. People had once held gatherings here just as they did at circle. What had happened? How and why had they died? Had they known his mother and father? Was this the place Sarah’s mother and two brothers were buried? A certainty deep in his gut told him that it was. All these questions were turning in his mind, but even more forcefully was the instinctive knowledge that they needed to get out of here fast. They couldn’t be found in this place.

He knew with sick certainty this was why no one was allowed to build camps near the lake. There was some secret hidden here that was meant to remain hidden. It was dangerous to stay because they could be tracked by their med-alert bracelets. Medics would be coming soon by air sled to check on them unless they got out of the area quickly.

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Twilight Hour
 
Sweet, blissful, magical, twilight hour!
In the fireplace a bright flickering light,
Joy flashes from out of your face,
Jokes spray from out of your red mouth.
 
Then only sparks glimmer here and there,
Jokes and laughter gradually become silent,
Wrapping everything in soft darkness,
Until you sink down into my heart.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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