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Otherwise
 
You have described me wonderfully,
How I have almost destroyed your love;
But me—you—you don’t love me,
Otherwise you would love me differently.
 
Otherwise you would want to please your friend,
And not think of reputation and duty,
And I would thankfully press my face
Into your blissful breasts.
 
Otherwise I would not remain so mute,
When you mouth speaks to me of love;
Not I! —No, no, you don’t love me;
Otherwise—oh, otherwise, I would love you!

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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If we don’t like the position we currently hold we are always able to win a better position through personal effort and struggle. Our position in life is determined by our effort and by our productivity and not by right of birth.

Those in positions of power through chance or birth cannot withstand the advances of those that struggle for a better world through personal effort. Life is dynamic and each position within the hierarchy is open to the competitive newcomer,. It is always possible to win a better life. It is also possible to lose your position in life to someone who’s more qualified, someone that puts out more effort.

At first we don’t know how to get the things we want in life. We have no experience and our computer program doesn’t include the proper steps for us to take. We can only work within our programming and our programming doesn’t include how to attain our goal.

All we have in the beginning is a strong desire to achieve our goal. As we hold this desire within us it gradually gains strength and will subconsciously lead us toward the way of achieving our goal. This subconscious behavior occurs during the development of spiritual energies within us. Our longing takes on the importance of a spiritual quest. The development of spiritual energies is passive and we don’t realize any volition on our part

One day apparently by accident we talk to someone or see a book about our goal. Our goal has found us; we have not found our goal.

This spiritual longing develops into a mental study of how to achieve our goal. We become aware of behaviors and activities that will lead us toward our goal. We also become aware of behaviors that lead us away from our goal

We learn as much as we can about the achievement of our goal from as many sources as possible. At some critical point we attempt to put into our own words and understanding those things which we have learned from outside sources. We attempt to make this knowledge our own, individually suited to our personal situation in life

We attempt to plan a course of action which will allow us to achieve our goal. The time will come when mental thinking is not enough. We will have enough confidence in our plan that our emotions will force us to take risks in a beginner fashion.

As beginners we try our first attempts to achieve our goal and discover that the achievement of the goal is not as easy as we had first thought it would be. Things are much more complex. In our efforts we are achieving first-hand experience relating both to our personal situation and toward the achievement of our goal.

Only pure desire and truly wanting to win will give us the emotional energy to physically go forward in spite of personal fears, lead feet, weak knees and allow us to get through this difficult novice stage.

Winning is a learning process and a cycle. We go from awkward beginner to basic familiarity and on to high competence in the area of winning our goal

Each step or stage must take place as an easy gradient. Set a realistic goal for ourselves within a realistic timeframe

The final end result is always the same. That which is truly earned gives more joy and satisfaction than that which is no challenge at all. We enjoy challenges to the extent that we can solve the challenges.

When we are confronted by a challenge that is too big for us it can shatter our lives. We must be able to break any challenge up into smaller goals that are achievable. When we do this any goal is achievable. When we do this we can win.

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Last time I mentioned how hydrogen and helium combined in the astral as two bits of awareness or sensory inputs to form the archetypal spiritual planes. This level is limited in depth and often appears as black and white because it only has the two elements to create with.I also mentioned how the astral body at this level is human shaped but like a balloon with no defining characteristics or depth. Physics and science tell us that the atom can have up to seven rings of orbiting electrons around it. This means seven shells or astral bodies are possible

The innermost astral body is created from two bits of awareness as we have already mentioned. Let’s move on to the next electron rings.

The second and third shells or rings around the nucleus of an atom each contain a possible eight electrons or bits of awareness. It takes eight bits of awareness to create an astral body in each of these astral planes. These create two mental planes and each one is essentially visual in nature.

These astral planes are the abstract mental plane and the concrete mental plane respectively. The mental planes have more detail than the spiritual plane but not as much detail or sensory data as the emotional planes.

The abstract mental plane consists of images too complex to easily place into words. We experience this world through the images of our imagination. This is also the realm of philosophical thought and reasoning. We leave our physical body when we journey in this astral plane. A good example of this is when you become lost in a good book and are not aware of what is going on around you in the room.

The concrete mental plane consists of words and the lower ego or self-awareness. This is where we process much of our sensory data and make meaning of it. This is where we spend most of our waking life simply being aware of our surroundings.

Astral bodies at these levels lack feeling and emotion. There is a detached aspect that allows us to observe what is going on around us and not get caught up in it. The imagery is rich and detailed. These astral planes seem very much like dreams which lack emotional content.

We gain access to the spiritual plane through the crown chakra. Access to the abstract mental plane is through the third eye chakra. Access to the concrete mental plane is through the throat chakra.

Our awareness can flow out of each of these openings and travel through the astral cords/magnetic field lines or Ley lines which surround the earth. The body of light can only travel through those cords associated with the elements hydrogen and helium. Likewise for the other mental bodies. They can only travel in their own specific worlds. You can’t bring emotions into the mental planes. They can’t exist there.

The flipside of this is that the body of light can travel the lower planes in a limited manner and pick up black and white detail. It can get a basic grasp of what is going on. The same holds true for the mental bodies. They can be integrated into the emotional realms but with limited sensory details. This is how we objectively gain awareness of our emotional nature and begin to work with it.

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Health and vitality are the result of open energy channels within the physical body. Blocked or trapped energies result in illness and disharmony. The healing process involves opening energy channels within the physical body and gaining conscious awareness and control of those energies.

Scientology teaches that past emotional and physical trauma are trapped within the cells of the body as engrams. The human body has a limited amount of free energy available to it and the release of this trapped and repressed energy can significantly increase the amount of free energy the individual has at their disposal. By going back in memory to the original moment of pain which created the engram in the first place and by consciously reliving it; it is possible to release and regain that lost energy. Only by consciously reliving the experience is it possible to release the trapped energy and claim it once more. The original moment of pain resulted in a momentary period of unconsciousness in which the engram was created. During this moment of unconsciousness a snapshot of the entire environment was created. As a consequence anything within that snapshot can trigger and release the energy trapped within the engram! A certain smell, a certain sound, a similar environment, a particular emotion, any of these things can trigger the explosive force which is trapped within the engram.

The same thing is true about sexual orgasm energy! For the average person the orgasm is marked by a moment of unconsciousness, the creation of a blockage or engram, and the snapshot of the environment at the time of its creation. But sexual orgasm energy is deeper and more powerful than the energy of pain. The objective of Tantric practice is to work with sexual orgasm energy with full conscious awareness at all times! In doing this no engrams or blockages are created and the energy is allowed to flow freely and naturally throughout the body. Because of this close similarities may be drawn between Scientology and Tantra in the releasing of engrams through the process of bringing the trapped energies into awareness.

Tantric practice involves the generation of sexual orgasm energy with full awareness for the purpose of developing the androgynous soul and its powers. This energy is generated with full awareness. It can be directed consciously up the spine, into a partner or into the astral planes. But first of all energy pathways need to be cleared of blockages and engrams. This is the first step in effective Tantric practice.

Both engrams and the astral planes are highly elastic and resist penetration. The generation of sexual orgasm energy twice a day is required to break through an engram or make a meaningful change within the astral planes. Once a day is simply not enough. The energy will be merely absorbed and distributed harmlessly in a way which will not produce meaningful change. This is the secret significance of Shiva and Kali being able to destroy and create the universe! To generate sexual orgasm energy twice a day is to destroy the old universe and create a new universe!

This is something that can be proven through practical experience! The generation of sexual orgasm energy twice in one day will result in vivid and explosive dreams as the energy is released during sleep. The generation of sexual orgasm energy only once in a day may or may not result in a vivid or explosive dreams. But the generation of sexual orgasm energy twice a day will always result in vivid or explosive dreams as the energy breaks through the engrams and pierces the astral layers!

This is the basic foundation of all sex magic practice! It has nothing to do with ritual, technique, mantras, or spirits. It is a mechanical process based entirely on the generation and release of sexual orgasm energy at least twice a day and the resultant destruction of an engram or the piercing of an astral plane! This buildup of pressurized energy will find the weak spot and cause it to rupture! In the beginning, the weak spot will almost always be an engram within the physical body itself. That is why most magical work produces inner transformation and not outward transformation. As the engrams are released and the energy pathways within the body are opened the magical activity shifts to outside of the body and within the astral planes themselves.

Working with sexual orgasm energy is often violent and explosive! Most people will try it a few times, become frightened at the power released, and choose to focus on more harmless things such as ritual, technique, mantras or spirits. A few may choose to work with sexual orgasm energy on a monthly or weekly basis and progress cautiously in the development of their androgynous soul and its powers. Only the bravest of the brave will deliberately choose daily work on this explosive path! Only the bravest of the brave will choose to be a Shiva or Kali!

Working with sexual orgasm energy is different for males and females. Females have an advantage over males because the generation of sexual orgasm energy twice a day is fairly simple and natural for them. The female orgasm naturally pushes sexual orgasm energy through the energy channels within the body and into the astral planes.

The male has a far more difficult time generating sexual orgasm energy twice a day. For the male to generate sexual orgasm energy twice a day for any length of time they must master the difficult technique of semen retention during orgasm. This ancient Tantric practice is required for any male who is serious about following the left-hand path of Organic Gnosticism.

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“You know what time of year it is don’t you?” He looked over at Tobal.

Tobal was puzzled, “It’s April.”

“That’s right,” Rafe said. “The full moon in March or early April is a very special time when we celebrate the beginning of spring and Osteria.”

“What’s Osteria? What’s that mean? I’ve never heard of anyone celebrating Osteria before.”

Rafe answered, “When we live in the woods we try living in harmony with nature. We try to understand the tides and energies of the seasons. Have you ever felt the energy of spring before, the energy of the spring thaw? Have you felt nature coming back to life again after the cold winter? When you tap into that energy it makes you feel alive and great! We study the natural forces of nature and how to adapt to them.

The yearly cycle has major festivals to celebrate the energy changes that are important to us. There are eight major festivals in the year. Four of them are solar festivals and four of them are lunar festivals. You will learn more about them later.”

“Consider yourself lucky to have your initiation during Osteria because it will give the added power of spring.”

“Anyway,” Rafe continued. “We are going to the gathering spot for the celebration and for your initiation into the clan. That way you’ll get to meet everybody. The gathering place is about 30 miles north of here.”

“What initiation?”

“Your official initiation into our clan as a brother. It is when you will be introduced and welcomed to the other members of our clan.”

“Our clan?”

“Forget it for now. We’ve got to get moving.” Rafe pulled out his map and laid it flat on the ground. He showed Tobal.

“You remember last night? You said we were right here,” He made a little mark on the map with his pencil. “Oh, by the way, don’t forget to make marks on these maps. Mark all of the places you want to remember.” Then he pointed to a spot on the map Tobal recognized as the campsite. Tobal nodded.

“OK,” said Rafe, “We spin the map around so it’s facing north just like before,” he spun the map around. “Have the string straight north like we did before. 30 miles is how far on the map?”

Tobal looked at the gridlines and did a quick calculation. “30 miles will put us right about here”. He pointed to a spot on the map about 3 inches north of their campsite. He noticed there was an “x” marked on Rafe’s map at that spot.

“That’s right,” Rafe chuckled. “What can you tell me about getting there?”

“What do you mean?” Tobal asked.

“Look at the map. Do we go in a straight line or what? Describe the terrain we need to cross.”

Tobal looked more closely at the map and noticed something strange. “What’s this,” he asked suddenly?

Rafe looked smug. “What are you talking about?”

“Well,” Tobal continued, “the lines get real close together and then there is just one thick dark line. It must be a cliff or ravine. Do we have to climb down a cliff?”

“That’s right,” Rafe grinned again. “We can’t go in a straight line to the gathering place. We can almost go in a straight line until we get to the cliff but then we need to find a way down into the valley from above. Fortunately I know the way down. It’s not too far out of our way and for all practical purposes, we will just head straight north today.”

“Now,” Rafe said, “take all the knots out of your cord. You will be tying new knots today.”

“New knots?” Tobal said blankly.

“That’s right, we don’t keep knots in the cord forever. We’re already where we wanted to be. The cord is a tool to get you where you want to be, not to tell you where you’ve been.”

“Oh,” Tobal said sheepishly.

“30 miles is how many knots in the cord?”

“60 knots,” said Tobal.

“Right and we’ve got a day and a half to do it.” Rafe got up. “Let’s get going.”

Three times Tobal saw deer in the distance. They were still herded and eating the browse on the smaller pine trees and scraping for fodder underneath the snow. They looked thin but Rafe told him they would start gaining weight soon when the last of the snow left.

As they snow shoed north toward the gathering place Rafe dug around in the snow and pointed out different plants. He explained their uses and showed Tobal how to make sure plants were safe to eat.

“Look,” Rafe said, “there are two ways of doing this. I can go along and point out all the things that are good to eat and all the things that are bad to eat or I can do something else. I’m going to teach you the right way. This is winter and there are not many plants around right now but in a month or two this entire area will be filled with things to eat. There will be times when you might be in a strange area or come upon a strange plant that you’ve never seen before. You might need something to eat. This one plant might be the difference between you starving or not starving. The first thing that you do with a plant you are not sure about is to pick a leaf and place it against your skin. Preferable soft skin like the skin on your belly which is more sensitive than the skin on other parts of your body.”

He dug in the snow and found a plant with some frozen leaves on it. “Hold this leaf against your belly held with a piece of cloth tied around your waist. Keep it there for a few hours and then check for signs of irritation or an allergic reaction. If you get a rash or it hurts, the chances are it is not good to eat. It might be usable for other things, but not to eat. We’ll talk about herbs for medicine later. Right now, we’re just finding food.”

Tobal took the leaf and cut a strip of gray cloth that Rafe handed him, tying the leaf against his belly as directed. Then they continued toward the gathering place. Two hours later they stopped to rest.

“Ok,” Rafe said. “Take a look at the leaf now.”

Tobal checked and there was no rash or irritation on his skin.

“The next step is to crumble them up so they are bruised and wet with sap. Now place them back against your skin,” Rafe directed.

Two hours later Rafe again asked him to check the leaf. Again there was no reaction as Tobal examined the skin on his stomach. All he could see was maybe a small red spot from the friction of rubbing. The skin was not tender and didn’t hurt or anything. He told Rafe everything was fine.

“Good, now put it in your mouth and taste it. Just taste it. If it tastes bitter or burns spit it out.”

Cautiously Tobal stuck his tongue out and tasted the leaf. Nothing happened, it just tasted like a plant.

“Now this is important. Go ahead and chew it 10 times, then spit it out.”

Tobal put the leaf back into his mouth and chewed 10 times. He could feel the flavor getting strong in his mouth. Hastily he spit the leaf out.

“It tastes like wintergreen,” he said.

“Yup,” Rafe laughed. “It’s wintergreen. Not much food value, but it has an oil that is flavorful. There aren’t many plants to eat yet so we will use what we can find.”

After he had spit out the leaf the taste stayed in his mouth as they continued. He felt his mouth go dry. Other than that there was no adverse reaction. Later Rafe gave him another leaf and told him to chew it 20 times and then hold it in his mouth. While it was strong tasting, the taste did not get any worse and after awhile became more bearable.

“That means you can probably eat the plant for food. Go ahead and swallow it.”

Tobal struggled to swallow the leaf and almost felt like throwing up.

“Don’t eat too much at a time if you are not used to it. You might get the runs.” Rafe grinned wickedly. “Getting the runs in the woods is not a very good idea.”

Tobal groaned weakly and managed to hold the leaf down. There was a knot in his stomach and he didn’t think he would be getting much nourishment from the leaf.

As they continued northward Rafe told him that wintergreen was not really a good plant to eat. It was mostly used for flavor and medical uses like making the stomach feel better. Rafe continued to dig out various plants and herbs as they went along. There was not much to find since it was early April and snow covered most of the area they were traveling. It was too early for any fresh vegetation.

They used some dried herbs Rafe had in his pack as seasoning in their jerky flavored soup that evening. Rafe pulled out a few tubes of food from sanctuary and combined it with jerky and herbs in the canteen cups. To Tobal’s surprise it was tasty and filling. They finished the meal with a steaming cup of wintergreen tea that was refreshing and pleasing.

Rafe pointed at Tobal’s pack. “There’s a book in your first aid kit about the plants that grow in this area. When you get the chance read it and study it. You need to know those plants and how to find them.”

Camp was in a small clearing much like the first one and Tobal went to bed early. He was exhausted. They had made about 20 miles and were looking forward to a fairly easy day tomorrow arriving at the gathering place in plenty of time for the celebration. He drifted off to sleep thinking about the next day and his coming initiation.

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Stand Still, Sweet Night

You were already lovely at morning
And at midday, sweet maid.
Yet you are the cutest and most beautiful
Right now, at evening time.

Your sun golden hair wears
A wreathe of moonbeams,
And wraps you in a white veil
Of glamorous mist.
 
Wreath and veil, dear girl,
Those are cute bridal garments,
Fog and moonlight, even more magical,
Stand still, sweet night!

-Mia Holm 1900
translation by Joe Bandel

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True joy in life comes from struggling against opposition and finally achieving a hard won goal which is valued and cherished. If we are given something or it is too easy to achieve we do not value it properly and take it for granted.

Only those things which we struggle and fight for hold a lasting value to us. This is equally true in personal relationships. It is hard work to maintain a healthy relationship with someone else. It requires continuous effort.

Nothing in life stays the same, everything is changing. In our relationships with others we are either growing closer together or we are growing farther apart. It is not right to take for granted that the closeness we feel today for someone will be there tomorrow. It is not right to take the relationship for granted.

Relationships are dynamic and the greatest challenge in our lives. They are also the greatest potential for joy in our lives. There is a great difference between winning a friend and keeping a friend. There is also a great difference between winning a goal and keeping a goal.

Winning is a very important concept to understand. We must strive to win in life. Only in winning do we find the satisfaction that we crave. In contrast there is no shame in losing if we have truly tried our best. It is vital that whatever we decide to do, we do it well and to the best of our ability.

There is no room in life for halfhearted attempts. If we do to the best of our ability we will win. The outcome doesn’t even matter. Even in nature each blade of grass struggles and extends its roots against its neighbors for the nutrients in the soil and reaches upward for the life-giving rays of the sun.

This is not an act of hatred or malice toward its neighbors but an active life and of joy. There is a natural hierarchy in nature and those life forms with the greatest ability to adapt offer the most to each individual species and rise within the hierarchy.

The blade of grass that out competes its neighbors grows stronger and taller and through reproduction disseminates its genetic structure throughout the species. In the same manner the blade of grass that grows in soil where nothing else can grow expands the range of the physical environment where grass can grow. Through reproduction it also disseminates successful adaptive genetic qualities which allow the species to live under varying physical environments.

What of the mediocre blades of grass that are subdued and only managed to hold their own in a stagnant manner? They too are successful. Each blade of grass exists in an environment which is slightly different from its neighbors.

The conditions it faces are unique and contribute to the survival of the species. The blade of grass that dies in a harsh or unfavorable environment or dies because it is crowded out by other blades of grass does not die in vain.

It has tried to exist with every bit of vitality and life available to it and the manner of its struggle is also passed on to the species. In its death the message is made that life cannot exist under these conditions. The species then tends to avoid those and similar conditions that are harmful to it.

A simple blade of grass is not able to try in a halfhearted manner! By its very nature it gives in life all that it is capable of giving. Each plant performs a valuable function not only to its own species but in the releasing of oxygen it contributes to our own lives as well.

In a like manner the human race has a duty to itself and to the rest of the world to do the best it can. It has a duty to try to win in life and through winning make the world a better place for every living thing. There is also a natural hierarchy within the human race.

There are those that rise to the top by crowding out their neighbors. There are also those that rise to the top by expanding our physical world through individual discoveries and products.

If there is fault within the human race the blame is not in these people but in those that refuse to try, those that can’t even summon the strength for a halfhearted attempt at living. Still even those serve a purpose. The added burden they inflict on society has the effect of bringing out greater effort on the part of those that are able.

We all serve a valuable purpose whether we intend it or not. Each of us has our own proper place within the hierarchy of the human race and each of us will achieve that proper place. In fact we already have. Each one of us is in our proper place within the hierarchy of humanity right now

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We can continue the metaphor of the atom and 118 possible electrons that encircle it. Each of the 118 fragments of awareness gives a specific sensory detail which adds richness to our perception of the world.

These electrons form rings or shells around the nucleus of the atom. The first two electrons form the first inner most ring or shell and create the elements hydrogen and helium. Using this as a metaphor for soul development the first bit of awareness possible is hydrogen awareness.

One bit of awareness is unity and only manifests to us as the spiritual experience of unity and life. It forms a sphere of light which awareness can reside in. You can’t do much with one bit of awareness because it has nothing to work with. But awareness can use this round sphere of light to travel through the cosmos. The addition of the second bit of awareness or helium awareness creates archetypal reality

The two bits of awareness work together like black and white to create images and three-dimensional forms. These bits of awareness create the highest astral world and the highest human shaped astral body. This is the source of the soul. This is the second gate that awareness tries to reach upon the death of the physical body. The hydrogen awareness is the first gate, the gate of unity.

The human astral body at this level is human shaped with no distinct features much like a balloon. It is just a human form. Occultists call this the body of light. It is formed from the energies of the third eye.

Two bits of awareness is all that the first inner shell can hold. It is complete and seals itself against all the rest. This barrier is what creates the great abyss of occult literature.

When integrated into the personality these two bits of awareness form the body of light and give Christ consciousness (helium) or cosmic consciousness (hydrogen). This is also the level of unity and the resolution of paradox were all things come together in a form of self-evident truth.

These two bits of awareness are spiritual energies and spiritual forms of consciousness which can be developed. There is also an astral world created out of these elements which exists in the outer atmosphere of the earth. This astral world is archetypal and consists of magnetic flux lines or tubes which electrons travel through. The human body of light can also travel through these tubes.

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Organic Gnosticism takes the so-called left-hand path in an entirely new direction! Orthodoxy considers the left-hand path to be involved with opposite doing and taboo breaking. While these may be considered extremely powerful and important practices, they need to be looked at in an entirely new light.

Organic Gnosticism is involved with the creation and development of the androgynous soul created from a balance of male and female energy. After the creation and development of the androgynous soul contact and reunion with one’s Divine counterpart is pursued. Like the yin-yang symbol the two halves of the soul should be symmetrical and relatable to each other. One side should be that of a human male and the other side should be that of a human female if one desires to remain part of humanity!

To participate in bizarre and subhuman or inhuman practices might very well free you from societal restrictions, but it might also make you an inhuman monster and that would cause your Divine counterpart to become an opposite inhuman monster! It would also make it that much harder to merge with your Divine counterpart.

The creation and development of the androgynous soul naturally forces you to develop and integrate the opposite sex qualities of your own ego. Working with sexual orgasm energy naturally forces you to confront your own innermost fears as well as those of your Divine counterpart because it works with subconscious forces. The acceptance and integration of those innermost fears are far more powerful than any Orthodox head tripping taboo breaking and opposite doing. That is because they precisely trigger those things and activities needed to be confronted and integrated on a deep and intensely personal level. Instead of confronting collective fears and demons, you’re forced to confront your own personal fears and demons as well as those of your Divine counterpart!

In fact, focusing on taboo breaking and bizarre behaviors concerns our relationship with society, not with the development of our soul!

Organic Gnosticism breaks even more completely with orthodoxy concerning the left-hand path! The generation of sexual orgasm energy twice daily over long periods of time will provoke incubus or succubus experiences, attract the necessary opposite sex energy and develop the androgynous soul at different levels of the astral planes! It will also draw us to the proper opposite sex partners in real life. As the androgynous soul is created and strengthened its powers and abilities are also strengthened automatically! What I am saying is that practice and technique are not what develops the soul and its powers. The generation of sexual orgasm energy and its automatic combining with opposite sex energy is what develops the soul and its powers! This continued generation of sexual orgasm energy twice daily is literally the only requirement for the development of the androgynous soul and for eventual contact with one’s Divine counterpart! As the androgynous soul is developed completely at each level its powers are activated automatically and naturally as a consequence.

All other teachings, techniques, and beliefs concerning the so-called left-hand path are superficial and of no consequence! The entire process is driven by the continued generation of sexual orgasm energy over long periods of time and by nothing else! This is a mechanical and automatic process that works organically without the need for conscious control or direction. It makes use of the innate intelligence of the human body and its own natural functions as well as cosmic law! The sharing of opposite sex energies in love relationships is what is important. The energy will seek out the right partner magically.

All of this can be easily demonstrated and proven through personal experience. Organic Gnosticism collects the needed information on how to develop the androgynous soul safely and effectively and how to ultimately connect with one’s Divine counterpart!

This is the Kali Yuga and for the next 2000 years sexual orgasm energy, vital life force energy or garden of Eden energy has become available for all life forms, not just humans. All species can use this unprecedented opportunity to develop their souls and magical powers. If humanity does not use this energy it will be eclipsed by other species that are more vital and adaptive. The higher levels no longer offer empowerment or protection against this wave of creation energy!

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Chapter 5

They headed toward Old Baldy. It was tougher than Tobal had thought. The terrain was broken and uneven making it impossible to walk in a straight line. The snow shoes were awkward and Tobal’s legs ached from the unaccustomed effort. He didn’t need the compass but headed as straight as he could toward Old Baldy and tried to keep track of his paces.

Most of the time he could keep the mountain in sight but sometimes there was deep brush and trees so thick he couldn’t see. That was when he pulled out the compass and used it as a guide to keep going in the right direction.

Rafe made them both snow goggles to protect their eyes from the fierce blinding glare of the snow. These were simple strips of gray fabric with narrow slits cut in them and tied over their eyes. Without them they could have suffered snow blindness.

It wasn’t long before Tobal completely lost track of how many paces they had gone. Rafe told him when they reached the first half mile. Tobal kept better count after that and by the second mile his count was close to Rafe’s. He was in the lead so he could use the compass and find his direction. It allowed him to set the pace.

The terrain changed the further they traveled. It had been meadow around the city-state but as they got closer to the mountain it became more forested and rocky. Rafe cut a walking stick for Tobal and showed him how to use it to save his balance and help get over some of the rougher spots.

“Uneven ground like this is really dangerous,” Rafe said seriously. “You could break a leg or worse. A walking stick can help keep your balance and test for weak spots in the snow and ice before you step into them. With a heavy pack you are top heavy and the walking stick gives you something to lean against.”

They stopped a few times to rest and drink water from the canteens. The water tasted terrible, but Rafe made him drink it anyway.

“It’s easy to get dehydrated out here. You should drink about two gallons of water a day when you are living outdoors like we are.”

Later Tobal realized he was so thirsty he didn’t mind the weird taste. It just felt good having something wet to drink. The afternoon wore on and getting toward sunset. He had just finished tying his eighth knot and looked around uneasily. Theoretically he should be close to where they were going to camp for the night. He said as much to Rafe.

“Hey, shouldn’t we be close to the creek? I have my eight knots. I think we’ve come four miles. Where is the creek?”

“You do, do you?” Rafe said, grinning widely, “Do you see any place that looks like it would make a good campsite?”

Tobal looked around more closely. There was a clearing ahead, a small open area off to the left that sloped down toward a line of thick brush. Then he saw it.

“There’s a creek!” He pointed excitedly toward the line of brush. He could hear the water in the distance.

Rafe chuckled, “Right where the map said it was, isn’t it? You did a good job for a newbie, only a quarter mile off. That’s not bad at all.”

Together they hiked over to the creek. It was a small creek with clear icy water that was run off from Old Baldy. It tasted fresh and clear. Tobal asked why the creek was not frozen.

“It was frozen earlier,” Rafe said. “Now it gets above freezing during the day and just below freezing at night. Because the water is moving so fast it does not freeze anymore. It will remain flowing now until next winter.”

They emptied the old water and refilled their canteens. The air near the creek was fresh with the tang of spring thaw but Tobal knew it was going to be a cold night. He felt elated but also tired and exhausted from the day’s journey. He was hungry and asked Rafe when they were going to eat.

“First thing is to set up camp,” Rafe told him. “Then you can eat. Set up a shelter, get your fire going, and then you cook food if you have it. First we’ve got to find a good place for a campsite. I’m going to take it easy on you tonight. It’s not going to rain so we can sleep out under the stars. Our sleeping bags will keep us warm enough if we set up our fire near a boulder or rock so it reflects the heat back onto us, We will need to keep it going because it’s going to get cold tonight.”

“This will make a good spot.” He said walking over to a rock out cropping on an otherwise fairly level area clear of brush. We build the fire here. First dig a trench in the snow so we are down out of the wind. Use your snow shoes to shovel.”

Together they scooped an area clear in front of a rock outcropping and set their packs down.

“Now we’ve got to find some firewood before it get dark,” Rafe told him. “Look for old dead branches that are not lying on the ground. We need wood small enough to cut up or break by hand.”

ogether they gathered quite a bit of wood including pieces from a splintered log that had fallen against another tree and not touched the ground. The wood was dry and they were able to break off some of the bigger branches. This would help hold the fire overnight.

“Next the fire,” Rafe said, crouching in the snow near a small pile of the wood they had found. “We’ve got to have tinder to get the fire going.”

He pulled some tinder out of his pack and Tobal watched as he skillfully used the fire starter, shaving pieces of magnesium with his knife into the small pile of tinder. Then he struck sparks along the side of the fire starter by rubbing it with his knife blade. Some of the sparks landed in the pile of dry tinder. Rafe blew carefully on those sparks and they brightened and turned into a small flame. Carefully nursing the flame with small dry twigs, he slowly added larger pieces until there was a roaring blaze.

“We’ll let that burn for awhile,” said Rafe with satisfaction. “Now we’ve got to get our beds made. Got your knife? Cut some small branches from these pine trees to sleep on. No one in their right mind sleeps on the ground if they can help it. Make a mattress about one foot deep. It will create an air cushion underneath so you won’t get so cold. If you do it right, it’s like sleeping on a bed.”

Tobal had never heard of anything like that. He had his doubts but went ahead following Rafe’s lead, cutting pine boughs and lacing them together into an enormous mound that smelled of fresh pine.
“Now take the blanket you are using as a poncho. It won’t matter if it gets dirty. Lay it down over the pine boughs to keep the pitch from getting on your clothing and sleeping bag. Put your sleeping bag on top of that and use your last blanket if you need to.”

Tobal did as he was told, sat down and stretched out over his blanket and sleeping bag. An incredulous smile raced across his face.
“Hey, this is great!” He bounced up and down. “This is just like a bed.”

Rafe chuckled and started fixing the evening meal. He took both canteen cups and filled them with water. Then he put some jerky in them and made a stew adding wild onions, wild potatoes and other herbs that he pulled out of his pack. The smell of cooking stew made Tobal crazy with hunger. All in all, Tobal thought as he finished the meal, licking the last drop out of the canteen cup, it was one of the best meals he had ever eaten. It was filling and really hit the spot as well. He thanked Rafe for sharing his rations.

Rafe said, “Tomorrow, you’re going to find your own food. The next meal will be on you, but we did enough for today. Better get some sleep.”

Tobal crawled into his bed. It was against the rock face and heat from the fire reflected back from the rock and warmed him from both sides so he was toasty warm. The melting snow lay somewhere hidden beneath the thick pile of pine boughs. His eyes closed and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pack. He sank into a deep dreamless sleep.

The smell of baking fish woke him up. Rafe had gotten up ahead of him and managed to catch some fish.

Tobal laughed and asked, “How did you catch fish?”

Rafe just shook his head, grinned and said, “I set some traps last night and checked them this morning. We got a good batch of fish for breakfast. You got lucky today,” his eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Will you teach me how to catch fish?” Tobal asked.

Rafe looked soberly at him. “There is only so much you can learn in a day. Relax a little. It will come at it’s own pace. We’ve got to take it easy, but we will get there. The way I figure, it will take a month to learn what you need. Then you can solo for a month. We’re doing pretty well right now. You go ahead and enjoy your breakfast.

The first week of being in the woods will wipe you out. It will take awhile to build your strength and stamina. So these first few days I’m going to take it easy on you. After that, you better look out.”

The fish were wrapped with herbs and baked in the fire. He tore into the trout and washed it down with water from his canteen. He couldn’t remember anything that tasted so good and he really felt alive. The morning air felt crisp and chill with a slight breeze. It was going to be a good day.

“What are we going to do today?” He asked.

“Well,” said Rafe, “I don’t know if you noticed last night but it is almost the full moon. Every full moon we have a big get together.”

“How many of us are out here?” Tobal interrupted.

“Oh, it varies. There are somewhere between 150 and 200 of us out here. Sometimes we see each other and sometimes we don’t,” Rafe answered. Then he continued as if Tobal hadn’t said anything, “We have our meetings, social time, get-togethers and parties. We share stories and connect with each other. We also share the latest gossip.” He laughed. It’s also when we initiate newbies like you.”

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