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Organic Gnosticism derives from the original “path of woman” and was created for the male. That much is certain. I can only speculate about the path of the female, but I have been given insight into some things that touch upon magical practice. The Sacred Virgin and the Tantrika is one of them.

In magical practice it is the female that uses male energy mixed with her own energy to create observer selves for both of them, time lines for both of them and the etheric pattern of their entire world at the level of her particular energy. It has long been known that a magician needed to find a female partner capable of manifesting magic in a physical way. Such a female was highly treasured and very few females are at this level of the Tantrika or Diva. These females often worked with several male partners and were teachers to many. They had no need to be virgins. Their normal energy level was the lowest level of sexual orgasm energy.

Now in my personal experience I’ve been drawn into cycles with various females that created observer selves or astral bodies, timelines and worlds from out of each chakra center or energy. None of them were virgins and most were platonic relationships. These cycles didn’t include or require physical sexual relationships. But I worked these cycles developing the crown chakra, the third eye chakra, the throat chakra, the heart chakra, the solar plexus chakra, the spleen chakra and the root chakra before experiencing the final Divine Counterpart cycle of the sexual orgasm energy of the testes/ovaries chakra and this also was non physical in nature.

The point is that each of these women were masters of a certain energy and that energy was what I needed to work with. They were not able to work the lowest energy with other males except for one, the one to whom they lost their virginity!

Every female can work the lowest sexual orgasm energy with one male, the one she loses her virginity to. This is the riddle of the Sacred Virgin and why she was treasured for her magic in magical circles. With all other males she works the energy of her own specialty or mastery and is not able to manifest physically through the magic of sexual orgasm energy. Her magic is of a higher type.

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Then he took the bowl of consecrated salt from the High Priestess as she picked up the bowl of consecrated water. They faced each other and he poured the salt slowly into the bowl of water and set his empty bowl down on the altar. He stayed there as the High Priestess set her bowl on the altar and began casting the circle with her knife. She started in the north west corner of the circle directly where Tobal and the others were standing and moved deosil walking the perimeter of the circle saying.

May this circle be a meeting place of love, joy and truth. Shield us against evil, protect us and direct the power we shall raise tonight. In the name of the Lord and Lady, So mote it be.”

The High Priest joined her as they both came back to the circle entrance. With her knife she opened a pathway for them to enter the circle. Then she and the High Priest began to admit members into the circle with a hug and kiss spinning them clockwise into the circle. The High Priestess greeted the males and the High Priestess greeted the females into the circle until everyone was within the circle and seated.

The entry was sealed and the High Priest took the bowl of water and started at the North signal fire behind the altar sprinkling it with the water and salt mixture. He continued around the circle stopping at each quarter sprinkling the water and salt mixture intoning.

“I purify you with water.”

Coming once more to the North he continued around the circle sprinkling each member with water and blessing him or her.

As he was doing this a different Master in a red cloak took up a smoking smudge of sage and stopped at each quarter waving the smoking smudge saying.

“I purify you with air.”

She continued around the circle blessing and purifying each circle member.

Another Master took a flaming torch from the central bonfire and purified the circle and members with fire. Only the High Priestess and High Priest had their hoods down. The other red cloaked figures had large hoods that covered their faces and hid their identities. Tobal only recognized Ellen as the HighPriestess.

The High Priestess went to the East of the circle and drew an invoking pentagram of air with her knife.

“Watchtowers of the East, powers of air. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving along the edge of the circle to the South Quarter she traced a matching invoking pentagram of fire in the air in front of the signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the South, powers of fire. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the west she traced an invoking pentagram of water in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the west, powers of water. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the North she traced an invoking pentagram of earth in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the North, powers of Earth. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Tobal suddenly felt an electrical tension that filled the circle. It was a powerful energy but also quiet and balanced. He sensed each of the four energies and wondered at their uses.

Returning to the altar in the North, the High Priestess made the sign of the cross and turned with her back facing the altar. Her robe slipped to the ground displaying her naked body in the fire light.

The High Priest with his right fore finger touched her right breast, left breast, womb, and back up to her right breast making a downward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lady that is deep within you and has always been within you from the birth of your physical body and from the birth of your eternal soul. Join us in peace and love within our circle and give us your blessings.”

The High Priest stepped back and waited silently. The High Priestess opened her eyes and Tobal could swear it was not the same person. Her eyes and voice took on a power and authority that filled the entire circle.

“Let there be Love.”

Slowly they traded places and the High Priest stood with his back to the altar and his robe slid to the ground exposing his hard and muscled figure. The High Priestess with power and authority touched him first on the center of the forehead, then the left shoulder, the right shoulder and back to the forehead once more making an upward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lord that is deep within you and has always been within you since the birth of your physical body and the birth of your immortal soul. Join us in energy and light within our circle and give us your blessings.”

Then she stood back and waited. The High Priest opened his eyes and responded spreading his arms wide in blessing.

“Let there be Light!”

Tobal could feel energy filling the circle. It was charged with a type of static electricity and was feeling hot and stuffy, almost a little uncomfortable. He also felt the presence of the Lord and Lady within the High Priest and High Priestess and wondered at it.

The High Priestess and the High Priest then stood side by side facing the East holding hands as she intoned the charge of the Lord and Lady as he first heard it during his initiation.

He felt deeply stirred at the memory and suddenly he could see and feel both the Lord and Lady leaving the High Priest and High Priestess and taking their place above the central fire. He sensed them in his mind looking down in blessing and filling the circle with love, peace and healing. It seemed they looked directly toward him and smiled in welcome.

Then the drums began and members began to dance deosil around the circle. Tobal joined reluctantly at first and then with growing passion. They danced slowly and then more wildly as the energy level rose. The drums beat more rapidly and the dancers became crazed throwing off robes and dancing naked in the fire light. They leapt and sang in ecstasy moving around the fire alone and as partners, loosing themselves to the beat and rhythm of the drums. Tobal gave himself to the pounding rhythm and to the Lord and Lady. He was dancing for them.

The drums beat faster and faster until the dancers were sweat streaked but showing no sign of stopping. A sudden signal from the High Priestess brought complete and abrupt silence to the entire circle as everyone turned and looked at her. The tension and energy in the circle was overpowering.

“Lord and Lady,” she shouted, “We ask you to send your blessings and our blessings out to those in special need this night. We especially ask you to bless and assist those that are about to solo. Be with them and guide their steps so they may return successfully to us in a month’s time. So mote it be!”

“So mote it be,” the entire circle replied and Tobal felt such a wave of energy and love wash over him that he was swept out of his body and up once more into the arms of the Lady, this time as a baby. She gazed lovingly into his eyes as his consciousness faded away.

Tobal woke as someone helped him back to the edge of the circle where his robe was laying. The circle felt empty, the energy was gone although he still felt it inside himself. That wasn’t the end though because Nikki’s initiation began. Again he experienced the build up of energy, only this time it was directed at Nikki. Again in his minds eye he saw the Lord and Lady taking their place above the central fire.

Later there were people standing in relaxed bunches around fires drinking and eating. Instinctively he knew the circle had done some powerful magick that night and that his solo would be blessed.

This was quite different from the wild party he had experienced last month. There was a feeling of joy, friendship and goodwill as people joked and talked with each other helping themselves to enormous quantities of food and drink. They gradually moved into small groups to quietly sit together and talk far into the night. He made a special point of welcoming Nikki into the clan.

He spent time chatting with Zee and noticed Angel was back from sanctuary. She was limping slightly but otherwise seemed to be doing well. He met another Apprentice named Tara. He had noticed her dancing and made a special point to meet her. Wayne and Char were both there laughing at some of the stories Rafe was telling. It was a good party and he felt warm and happy when he finally made his way to bed.

Tobal’s solo wasn’t the way he envisioned it. He left circle on the 2nd morning when everyone else was leaving. He had decided to explore some country that he hadn’t visited before and wanted to find a place with adequate water. He was also interested in finding an area where he could set up a permanent base camp. To his surprise, he wasn’t interested in the solo. He was interested in exploring.

With those two things in mind he decided to head south and see what the country was like. His map showed a small lake about a hundred miles South. He wanted to check it out and do some exploring. It was out of the area he was expected to stay within but there were no hard rules about where he could and couldn’t go. His vision of the Lord and Lady seemed to be directing him and pulling him toward that lake for some reason. He had noticed it on the map before but it was only since last night he really felt compelled to see it on his own.

Somehow the energy of the circle last night had changed something inside of him and altered his plans about where he was going to solo. Still it felt right and he headed east until he found a small stream that emptied into the lake. With a light heart he whistled as he started out. The day was bright and shiny. He kept on the lookout for things to eat and made a leisurely camp near the stream. It was late May and the weather was a little chill in the evening but wonderful during the day.

After setting up a shelter and gathering fire wood for the night he roasted a rabbit he had gotten with a sling earlier in the day. As it was roasting he brought the last firewood into the camp. He was hoping for fresh fish in the morning and set out fish traps. Earlier he had stopped by one of his caches and brought some smoked jerky from the deer he had killed.

He mixed some of the jerky with greens and made hearty soup that went well with the rabbit. It really hit the spot. He had gotten salt at circle last night and used it sparingly in the food. It was wonderful.

These daily activities were so routine for him that he didn’t really think about them anymore. He was thinking instead about the territory up ahead. Staying alive and having enough food was not a concern thanks to Rafe’s excellent training.

He settled in under the blankets, the crackling of the fire in his ears and firelight flickering against his face. In his minds eye he could see the Lord and Lady watching over him and he wondered at his feeling of being protected. Feeling surrounded in love and peace he fell into an easy sleep waking only to tend the fire as it burned low.

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Your Memory
 
Your loving clear eyes
Greet me from the far distance,
Softly shimmering across to me,
Like bright stars through the fog.
 
I think of you, so return again,
In fairytale brilliance and childhood dreams;
A wind whispers through my soul,
Like through the green trees in the forest.

-Mia Holm 1900
translation by Joe Bandel

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There are times in life when we need to stand fast, resolute, and invulnerable like a rock. In times of assault and trial we feel the need to stand true to our inner convictions, true to what we believe in, in the face of death itself.

At such times we are like a rock in our faith and it is a source of strength to us. This is a sound defensive strategy. It is easier to take a defensive position and resist all attacks rather than attack a superior force or opponent.

It is sound judgment to let the opposition work itself out and deplete its energy while we retain ours through a tight defensive position.

This concept of standing like a rock has a very solid foundation in physical reality and draws strength from physical reality. It also shows the wisdom of caution and non-aggression while remaining true to who we really are.

Due to the hierarchal nature of life, as we develop our own personal power we earn the right to a better position. A position in life that holds more options for us and more chances for fulfillment. This means we may eventually take over a position that someone else already holds.

All positions within the hierarchy are always filled. As soon as a position becomes vacant the proper person fills it. Our struggle to advance becomes a threat to those who currently hold the position we are striving for and they will fiercely resist, not out of malice toward us, but in the interests of self-preservation.

They wish to retain the position they currently hold. It is popular to believe that the advancement of our own interests and pursuit of happiness should not be a threat to anyone else. The truth is that nature is always filled to capacity and the finite world we live in will not grow any larger.

When we advance someone else somewhere loses a little space. The opposite is also true. When someone else somewhere loses a little bit there is an opening that we can advance into. This happens naturally as people in the workforce age and retire leaving empty positions to be filled by younger people. The difference between these two methods is profound. The first is aggression and open attack for power and position in life. The individual attempts to force his or her will upon others.

The second method is when a person stays at his or her current position slowly and gradually gaining personal power as little openings present themselves and at the proper moment in time when a person in a higher position retires or withdraws that newly vacated position is offered to us. In this method there is no fighting for position and power because it is naturally recognized which person is proper for the new position.

There is no need to attack people who hold positions we aspire to. In the fullness of time and when it is appropriate that position will become ours if it is meant to be. It is wise to be content with our own growth and personal evolution and not threaten people.

There is no need to attack them. They may even at some point attack us simply because our increased energy is becoming a threat to them. Let them draw the first blood.

Many times they feel trapped in positions that are becoming too much for them to handle and they want to find a way out. Attacking us is often a way to hasten their own retirement in an honorable way. Such people feel that it is better to die fighting for something then to be confined for the rest of their living years in an old folks home as they die from a degenerative disease.

When we desire personal growth in life our actions will often result in others attacking us at some point. Our efforts toward self-fulfillment are making it more difficult for others to achieve their own personal goals. At times there is a valid conflict of interest in even the most innocent of goals. We might want what others want and they might want what we want.

To believe otherwise is to bury one’s head in the sand and refuse to see the world as it exists. To admit the realities of life is to come to terms with them in a way that treats others with respect and dignity.

In taking a defensive position and asserting ourselves a little at a time as the opportunity presents we can advance without losing respect for human life and dignity. If others choose to fight us in battle we have the sacred trust and obligation to respect their right and choice and also the sacred trust and obligation to fight back with every ounce of power and energy available to us. We can respect those we battle with as fellow warriors who wish to die in battle or go down fighting.

When others attack it is vital we hold our own against them. We stand firm to what we believe in the face of death itself. Our position is rightfully earned through the honest development of personal power and the accumulated energy of physical work. We do not need to back down.

Often those who attack us are in the position that is right for us. They no longer have the right to that position because they have abused it or have become unfit for it in some manner. These people seek to hold their position through fear and intimidation and not through personal ability. It is a moral wrong to surrender to these people when it is within our power to advance into a position that is rightfully one that we have earned.

It may be morally wrong to aggressively force our way into positions of power and influence, but it is equally wrong to avoid those positions if they are offered to us either as a gift or through the aggressions of others. It is not morally wrong to take the power away from a bully who uses intimidation and terror to achieve his or her goals.

Life situations can take on the quality of opening a can of worms. An action that seems very simple and straightforward can entangle us in a hopeless mess that will drain away our energy reserves. Those in higher positions will attempt to draw us into situations that will entangle us. These people are adept at finding any weak spots that we may have and use them against us.

The key to dealing with these situations is to remain purely defensive. Establish a boundary and don’t let an opponent cross that boundary. Be true to our own interests and keep our efforts and energies away from entanglements and lost causes.

In this way even our weaknesses turn into strengths as we gain awareness of them and are forced to deal with them in an appropriate manner. Often our greatest weaknesses when honestly confronted and owned become our greatest strengths and assets.

Do not aggressively attack for positions of power and influence. Those in superior positions will hold the advantage and turn our own efforts against us. They have the ability to twist and distort our own efforts in a way that will advance their own position. When we refuse to attack they have no means of diverting us and drawing us into unprofitable activities. They can do nothing and we can quietly continue our efforts at personal growth in peace and tranquility.

By remaining in a tightly focused defensive position we can wait out any attack and weather the storm. When the storm is over we will be free to assume the positions in life that we have earned through our own hard effort. Our enemies will have destroyed themselves by bettering themselves against the solid rock of our defense. Openings for advancements will then appear when the timing is right.

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Have you ever fallen in love with the mystery and elusiveness of magic? Do the shadows make your pulse jump? Does energy work fill you with an intense pleasure?

I know that over the years it has done this for me and much more. What yearning can possess someone to seek initiations into secret societies and secret knowledge? There is a hunger in my soul that only magic can fill and this post is for those people like me.

In the subjective world of magic everyone perceives differently but there is one universal truth. Once you have experienced something magical you can recognize when other people talk about similar experiences, even when they use different words and concepts. This is such a broad subject and there are so many places where one could start.

I’ve chosen to begin with magic and its ties to physical reality. Contrary to what many believe, magic is for those seeking material manifestations and intense physical living. It is not an escape from reality, but an intense immersion into physical reality.

Magical energy is generated by the physical body. It stands to reason that anyone seriously interested in magic must take good care of their physical body and treat it as the temple which it truly is.

Extreme living is the norm for magical practitioners. Often excessive, compulsive behavior is needed to develop the magical powers of the soul. Think about it. An intense energy drives people who are serious about magic.

So what is magic? It makes me almost puke to to hear “change in conformity with will” or some other garbage.

Let me tell you what I’ve heard from sources I trust. The Rosicrucians claimed that H Spencer Lewis, former Imperator, was able to manifest gold through alchemy in a public demonstration. Joseph Weed mentions that a Rosicrucian master manifested physical roses that fell in an auditorium. These roses had stems that tapered into points. They were not natural flowers.

These statements clearly state physical manifestations are possible. As a Rosicrucian of over 20 years I’ve studied the techniques claimed to manifest these things. I have not had such impressive results. I hope to someday find conclusive proof of this one way or another. In the meantime I would like to share that the world is currently in a magical battle and that ordinary magical practices no longer apply.

What I have personally experienced is powerful transformative techniques that have changed my life. These have been magical in every way. I have also experienced precognitive dreams on a regular basis which proves that physical events must happen astrally before they manifest physically.

I have also experienced lucid dreaming in which the outcome of an event was altered through will and magical effort. There is no doubt that such dreams altered the potential outcome of real physical events which happened the next day.

Over the past twenty five years I have developed all astral bodies and their powers. I currently function in multiple realities. The astral planes are no longer theoretical, but actual and I experience them every moment of my day!

In summary, astral work or dream work can and does alter physical reality before it manifests. That is enough for me to believe in the value of magical workings and the validity of astral phenomenon.

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Whether you are generating sexual orgasm energy with an opposite sex partner, homosexually or auto erotically you will still experience the incubus or succubus. Sexual dreams are a normal part of a healthy dream life. By generating and sending sexual orgasm energy you’re actively provoking such experiences!

The act of generating sexual orgasm energy is a mechanical process. How the body stores that energy during the day and releases it into the astral at night through dreams is the magical part of the process.

Sexual orgasm energy is highly polarized as male or female and will attract suitable opposite sex energy within the dream environment. You will draw astral lovers to yourself or be drawn to them. This is all part of the process and is involuntary unless you deliberately choose to send the energy to someone in particular or go to them.

The incubus or succubus is a projection of the shadow self of your magical partner. The more distorted the incubus or succubus, the more distorted your magical partner’s belief in themselves. The same is true for angelic love encounters. These are projections of your partner’s higher self and not of their true nature. Only after you and your magical partner dissolve and integrate these two secondary personalities can you meet face-to-face within the dream/astral worlds. What this means is that in the beginning you will encounter the demonic side of your magical partner and they will encounter your demonic side. You’ll come face-to-face with their greatest fears and they will come face-to-face with yours. You will also come face-to-face with their greatest desires and they with yours. But neither are real. They are the sharing of not self; those things despised or those things desired but unattainable.

Coming face-to-face with the greatest fears of someone else is even more challenging than confronting your own greatest fears. The same is true for your greatest desires. These things are what makes this path so difficult. You need to integrate both the shadow and higher self of your magical partner as well as integrating your own shadow or higher self.

Fortunately this is an automatic process that unfolds gradually in its own time and in its own way as you continue to generate sexual orgasm energy twice a day.

There is an ancient wisdom within the physical body and that wisdom guides the entire process. First is the dissolving and integration of the shadow and higher self, then the giving and receiving of energy to the female to create her own Observer self, then the birth of an astral child that will house the male’s Observer self, then the creation of a personal timeline and lastly the astral creation of an entire world.

Throughout this process various other experiences will follow as the soul develops and begins to function magically within the astral worlds. You maintain an astral connection with your magical partner throughout the entire cycle and remain permanently linked at its conclusion even though you may each go separate ways.

It is likely that you will be drawn into various cycles with various magical partners as level after level of the astral is explored and layer after layer of the soul is developed. But there will only be one magical partner at a time. This is the concept known as magical celibacy. The incubus and succubus are personality fragments of actual people whom you are in energetic contact with in some manner, personally, or even over the Internet.

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We are going to talk about the connections between literacy and the soul. I mentioned that conscious awareness and life itself really depends upon having both some type of a physical body, along with a nonphysical body or energy body. Together they create what’s called a resonant circuit. Now it’s true that souls can exist without a physical body for quite a bit of time, up to thousands of years. But they will gradually fade back into light unless they find a physical body to strengthen themselves and renew themselves.

I mentioned three types of people that seemed to be emerging around 5000 BC in the same geographical area of the middle east. True mystics are actually original souls that were created along with Gaia or the earth and have evolved with her. I also talked about the appearance of the other two groups which I call rational atheists or the materialists and those I called the false prophets or social enforcers.

Both of these groups represent alien souls or foreign souls that have entered in physical life. They were not originally native here but their alien souls have become born into physical bodies. So their souls are in physical bodies and that’s why their soul characteristics are different than those with native souls.

The true mystics or organic Gnostics are the only original Gaia inhabitants and the only original souls that have evolved here along with Gaia. They’re the only ones with the creative, magical ability that both of the other groups are really dependent upon because they don’t have the organic genetic connection to their own souls. They can’t physically manifest things without the help of the organic Gnostics. So they have enslaved the organic Gnostics to do their work for them.

The souls and genetic connections of the organic Gnostics or true native inhabitants have some of the characteristics of the materialist or the rational atheist souls, because they can also be extremely rational but the rational atheists see only light and dark. Only the physical and material world exists for them and because there is no other nonphysical world for them their spirituality takes the shape of community existence.

They are the hive minded people that I’ve talked about. This collective oriented drive for a harmonious society or human collective becomes what is spiritual for them and what they live for.

In contrast the false prophets or social enforcers are very warlike and they have a deep awareness of the nonphysical astral realities and spiritual planes that they have experienced in the past.

The astral is actually showing the tracks of their past as a traditional destiny that needs to be repeated. So they are traditionalist because history does tend to repeat itself and they’re always trying to find that sacred pattern that repeats and repeats over and over again.

Now for literacy and how important a factor it played in the Paleolithic age of cavemen and women. They were able to create art, They were able to create beautiful art. So there was a process inside humanity that was developing a cognitive ability and that’s just the critical time when the other two groups came in.

These groups of alien souls came in at that time because humanity was at a critical and suggestible stage with individual awareness but not enough to develop their own sense of self. Their own sense of ego was not strong enough to really cut it on their own. So these other two groups of advanced alien souls came in and they had a war going on for who was able to take control of those native inhabitants that were just beginning to develop their own souls.

A soul is the sense of self and sense of ego awareness that dwells in the heart. How literacy comes into play here is how what was once art became hieroglyphics and what was once hieroglyphics became letters. Something happened inside the brains of the humans where they began to visualize inside their heads. They began to creatively visualize and imagine and dream. And once they developed a sense of self, or watcher self, they could actually imagine seeing themselves and see an imagined world inside their heads, inside their minds. That is when they began to think about immortality and life after death or the continuation of awareness after death because of this watcher self.

The watcher self or soul was created as an evolutionary byproduct of the invention of reading and writing. It became solidified inside as the ego, as the sense of self, and when the original Gaia inhabitants dreamed they had the ability of having a watcher self. This was a part of themselves that watched the movie screen of the dream where they might see another version of themselves acting out imagined events.

The mental evolution that created a watcher self or soul for the organic Gnostics didn’t happen to the rational atheists. That group of materialists doesn’t have the ability to develop a watcher self. But what they do have is a very sharp perception of physical reality and they rely almost exclusively upon logic and reason. You will not see them using spiritual concepts or nonphysical concepts because they think that’s a bunch of baloney. What they were really after is logic and reason and the collective mind and the collective good of humanity. That is why they insist that each person sacrifice themselves to the common good because that is what they do.

Now the other group, the traditionalists, the false prophets or social enforcers are warlike. They just want to dominate and they want to enslave the rest of the world. So they are basically trying to create a narrative in which they remain empowered and the natural original earth inhabitants are not empowered. So they are being kind of sneaky about it.

Once more you have this war for control over the souls of the original Gaia inhabitants, the organic Gnostics. Now, previous to this time there wasn’t really any anything going on because everything was goddess oriented, basically the native Gaia inhabitants were guided by the feminine life giving principle. They believed that the goddess brought life through birth and that she brought death and then she turned around and brought life again through rebirth. It was so obvious that they didn’t even doubt it.

But after the invention of reading and writing and after the beginnings of this first sense of self things began to change. This first ego. This first sense of awareness of self was a game changer. The two other groups were very patriarchal and anti-feminine and this was their chance to take control of the evolution of the human race.

This anti-feminine trait is another key characteristic because the original Gaia inhabitants were balanced and had balanced their male and female energy all the way down through the DNA. It was in balance all through their genetics and they were able to integrate their own shadow aspect and higher self.

None of the other groups could and that’s the difference. The organic Gnostics are the only group that can draw fire down from heaven. They are the only true Prometheus’s if you will. That is why they have been so chained and repressed. Like Prometheus they were chained because the rational atheists and social enforcers didn’t dare give them true freedom. It is only now after all these years that the organic Gnostics are taking their own power and their own freedom back into their own hands!

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Chapter 8

Rafe explained the best way to survive in the winter was to hunt the larger animals like the deer. Each kill would provide enough food for a week or more and in the winter it was very important to have some food set aside for emergencies and for when the weather really got bad. Winter was also the best time for trapping animals for their fur. He would need some winter clothing before it got really cold and this was as good a time to learn as any. He could make some things now while the furs were prime and keep them at Rafe’s camp until he needed them.

In the meantime it was spring and life was abundant. Flowers bloomed in the meadows and insects flew and crawled all over. Tobal learned to make containers and drinking cups out of the green bark of birch trees and boiled water in them. He used them to make teas and ointments that kept the deerflies and ticks away.

His skin became tanned and his muscles hard from the constant exposure and work. He could stay outside in any weather and walk the entire day without being exhausted. By the end of the second week Tobal was living completely on his own food. He was not only finding food but was providing food for Rafe to eat. He still had trouble cooking though. Nothing he cooked tasted as good as the mouth watering victuals that Rafe provided. Still Rafe never complained. Tobal learned the importance of keeping his knife razor sharp, both of them. He kept the one from his initiation on his belt and his old knife strapped to his right leg above his ankle just as Rafe did.

By the end of the second week he was getting bored with the monotony of the daily grind and the constant need to keep busy. He was looking forward to something new. They moved out from Rafe’s small valley and traveled in different directions meeting up at designated spots on the map every other day. Tobal became proficient with the map and with triangulating where he was at any given time.

He spent some evenings alone and others with Rafe. The evenings he spent with Rafe were spent creating different kinds of shelters and sleeping in them. He was amazed at how many things could be used for shelter. But they all had the bed made of soft fragrant pine boughs and he followed the first rule of never sleeping on the ground if it could be avoided.

Leaning trees that had fallen provided shelter when combined with the gray poncho material. Two trees and his walking stick lashed between them became an impromptu tent. Lean-to shelters were easily made and he also made a small teepee using the gray blanket material.

The need for water was always present and he never strayed too far from a good supply of it. He learned where to look for fresh water springs and waterholes. He also learned to collect rain water with his poncho or blanket and fill his canteens and other containers. Rain water was fresh and didn’t need to be boiled. Water from stagnant pools needed to be boiled before drinking.

He practiced continuously with the sling and his bow. He got his first deer at the end of the third week. He was really excited even though there was too much meat. They spent two days slicing and smoking it into jerky that could be stored away to eat later. It made his pack much heavier and he cached some carefully in a tree marking the spot on his map so he could return to it later.

Once in awhile they would see an air sled in the distance with a medic on it. They would wave and sometimes the medic would wave back. Medics were not allowed to interfere with the Apprentice degrees unless there was an emergency but they did keep an eye on things.

It was during the fourth and final week that Rafe asked Tobal to look at the map and decide where he was going to solo. He should also start thinking about where he was going to be training people. He recommended Tobal stay roughly within 60 miles of the gathering spot.

“Where are the others?” He asked Rafe curiously.

“We don’t move around too much unless we are training someone,” Rafe answered. “The Journeymen usually find a permanent spot and no one bothers them. Many of the older Apprentices do too. That’s why we haven’t seen anyone. Still, a lot of the nicer spots have been taken and it’s getting harder to find an area that someone has not at least passed through. We encourage the newbies to stay within 30 miles of the gathering spot so we can keep an eye on them. Since there are normally not more than seven or eight training at any given time there is lots of space and it’s easy to stay out of each other’s way.”

Tobal enjoyed the rugged outdoor lifestyle and the solitude. He felt a quiet confidence in his growing ability to survive and was looking forward to his own solo that was rapidly approaching.

The fourth week was different than the first three. It was travel, travel and more travel. Rafe knew where several people lived and they set out to visit them. The meaning was clear. Rafe wanted Tobal to be able to go for help and find someone if it was needed. He also wanted Tobal to know who his friends were.

Once when they were going through the woods Rafe stopped him and motioned him to be silent. He pointed at three figures in black that were going through the woods at a fast dog trot.

“There are some people, particularly in the Journeyman degree,” Rafe said later, “that have gone off the deep end and gone rogue. These Journeymen will ambush a person, destroy his or her belongings, take their supplies and leave them helpless. It is a real danger that must always be kept in mind.

Fortunately the rogues do not stay close to the gathering spot. They are not very good woodsmen and can barely survive on their own during the winter. That’s probably why they prey on others. Usually they prey on other Journeymen that have set up permanent camps and take their winter supplies.

It always pays to be careful. If possible, know whom you are visiting, some might make you welcome and some camps might be dangerous. I don’t think there is any danger of being killed”, Rafe said, “but there is always the possibility of being injured and put in the hospital or something. The medics might not be able to get there in time. If you ever run across something that is not yours, leave it alone. There is no need to get anyone pissed off because you messed with their stuff.”

With that final warning they headed back toward the gathering spot and the monthly circle celebration.

Circle was different this time around and Tobal whistled merrily as he traveled the path into camp. He didn’t see anyone on the trail and no one tried to stop him or Rafe. Rafe seemed amused at Tobal’s whistling but didn’t say anything about it. He only whistled a few short bars at two sharp turns in the trail and that was it.

People were setting up teepees and gathering wood for the fires. There was a lot of work to do and Tobal joined in with enthusiasm. He helped dig the roasting pits where the bigger animals were being prepared. It felt good to work along side other clansmen and joke with them. He was grateful to contribute and as evening came closer he wondered what the night would bring.

Everyone was changing into robes. All clan members at circle wore robes that they kept in one of the storage buildings. A black robed guard was handing them out. There was no reason to haul robes around all month when they were only used here. Tobal was given a long gray robe similar to the one he had gotten at sanctuary.

“Just bring it back tomorrow when you’re done with it.” Was all the guard told him.

It turned out only four newbies were being initiated that night. Tobal made some new friends and was hanging out with them. They were all Apprentices. Zee was a raven haired girl with shoulder length hair and a good sense of humor. She had been one of Rafe’s students and was training her first newbie. Nicky, the newbie had just arrived at sanctuary two weeks ago and was being initiated as Apprentice tonight, but would be waiting till next month before starting her solo.

Wayne was a stocky good natured fellow with sandy hair. He had been an Apprentice for two years and wasn’t in any hurry to make it to Journeyman. He didn’t have any student and hadn’t been training anyone for the past few months. He was more interested in being with his girl friend that was also an Apprentice. His girlfriend, Char, had curly brown hair and a ready smile. They were always seen together at circle. Tobal remembered both of them from last circle. It was easy to tell they were in love.

A tall, lanky, sandy haired kid was soloing the same time he was. They hit it off right away during last month’s initiation. In fact, all six that had been initiated last month were soloing this month. Kevin was more nervous about his solo than Tobal was. It made Tobal realize Rafe was a very uncommon teacher and extremely good at teaching others what they needed to know. Most soloists didn’t have the quality of training or the experience Rafe had given him. Kevin kept thinking about bad things that might happen in the woods, things that hadn’t occurred to Tobal since his first weeks of training. Many clansmen were excited about the six of them soloing and they were given lots of support and encouragement.

Nicky kept staring at Tobal’s face, finally she blurted out. “ What happened to your face anyway?”

Tobal was caught by surprise and off guard. “I was attacked by a wild animal that knocked me down. I fought it off and was really lucky.” He lied.

“I almost lost the sight in this eye,” and he fingered the long scar around his right eye.

Nicky said, “It makes you look kind of sexy and dangerous,” and it was her turn to blush. Rising to her feet, she crossed over to where Tobal was sitting and crouched down in front of him putting her arms around his neck.

“Very sexy,” she whispered and kissed him deeply and passionately on the lips pulling his hand against the top of her breasts where her robe lay casually open at the top. Then she stood back up and walked toward the kitchen to refill her mug of beer.

Tobal was stunned, then pleased. In this camp there were many scars and tattoos and each one had a story. In fact, the more scars or tattoo’s a person had, the more stories that went with them. Wayne was planning on getting matching tattoo’s with Char. They were debating what tattoos would look right and the best places to have them.

There was an awkward silence but it passed and everyone started talking again about the coming solo. After awhile one of the red cloaked figures came toward their group. She was a medic named Ellen. Tobal recognized her as the High Priestess that initiated him. She asked if everyone was ready for circle.

A few hours later Tobal and the others were at the circle entrance waiting and watching as it was cast and purified. The older members were gathered around. The central bonfire was piled high and the smaller fires at each of the quarters burned merrily. The High Priestess and High Priest cast the circle and Tobal watched with interest as they worked closely together.

They stood together before the stone altar that was set on the northern side of the central fire. The High Priestess handed the High Priest a bowl of water. As he held it she put the tip of her knife into it.

“I purify you spirit of water, banishing all impurities and illusion. May you be charged with the power, strength and love of the Lord and Lady. Blessed be!”

Then the High Priest put the bowl of water back on the altar and picked up a bowl of rock salt handing it to the High Priestess. She held the bowl as he put the tip of his knife into it.

“I purify you spirit of salt, banishing all impurities and evil. May you be charged with the power, strength and love of the Lord and Lady. Blessed Be!”

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Asphodels
 
The two of us walked
Across a meadow,
Annie Ventnor and I,
As we were climbing from
Mitromania up to Arco,
She had to rest there,
This slender English beauty,
She was thirty-four, hysterical
And badly, badly asthmatic.
Then we went up further
To Monte Tiberio
And then the two of us walked
Across a meadow of asphodels,
Lady Ventnor and I.
 
We walked over the meadow,
Walked toward the sea,
That surged deep below us,
Walked toward the sun,
The evening sun,
That was sinking there
Far behind Mallorca.
And we walked toward death,
Who had planted every where
His sacred perennial plants,
Asphodel plants,
—walked without speaking,
Silently toward death,
Annie Ventnor and I.
 
The outgoing evening sun
Sank into my eyes,
Sank into Annie Ventnor’s
Brown eyes,
Those tired, sick, pleading eyes.
And we felt:
—That now it might very well be!
Then I lifted her up in my arms
And jumped lightly
Down there,
Into the sea, into the sun,
Into the happiness they held!
A leap, a scream:
—Annie Ventnor and I!
 
And yet I knew:
That this evening
I would be down below
Sitting with the officers,
Would be playing Fly and Poker
And would be drinking absinthe,
Singing to the mandolin.
And would be laughing and
Dancing the tarantella
With the prostitutes—
 
And I also knew:
—This same Lady Annie Ventnor
Would be leaving for Naples
In the morning
To her lover.
He was a commissionaire
At the great
Clearing house of Mele,
And was an ugly Moor,
A dirty, stupid, ugly Moor,
That laughed over his hysterical
Countess . . .
And for new embraces
Always give her more
New, beautiful money.
 
I knew all that.
—And still the two of us walked,
Annie Ventnor and I,
In wonderful, Corinthian silence
Over asphodel meadows . . .

-Hanns Heinz Ewers
translated by Joe Bandel

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