Anarchistbanjo's World

I pride myself that working with my energy ball meditations or group portal meditations have never caused any problems to my knowledge. That is because they are so balanced.

But every single year since 1991 when I crossed the Great Abyss and merged with SOURCE I have experienced the incoming winter solstice energies a week or two early and they have always knocked me out with energy sickness. The last day and a half was no exception. In fact, the incoming energy wave was the most powerful one I have ever experienced and left me in mortal agony unable to eat, drink or move. Typically these waves are felt by others a few days to a week later by others so get ready for a big one!

When I write about the incoming energies of the winter solstice there are many who think it is symbolical or pleasant. I’m talking about something that comes every year and knocks me flat on my ass! This particular energy wave lasted well over a day and a half and I can still feel a bit of it hanging around. For those who have never felt energy sickness it strikes me as vertigo and nausea that won’t let up. The best I can do is try to sleep it off. Nothing else seems to work to ground this massive influx of energy.

When the winter solstice does finally come around I feel nothing. It hits me early and it hits some others early as well. Those who have tapped into SOURCE as I have. This year I think the coming full moon is acting to intensify things. I am just grateful that for me it is over!

I’ve wondered why this energy wave always seems so difficult to deal with. This year I may have gotten an important clue. Tuesday night I was thinking about going to the local Masonic Lodge for a meeting. It has been quite a while since I went to a meeting because of my puppy Valentine and also because I don’t like driving at night in the winter. So I had not been to a lodge meeting in well over six months. They are having a 3rd degree initiation on Saturday and I was thinking of going to witness it and being supportive.

Tuesday night I decided not to go to the lodge meeting but I began to feel the energy of the lodge inside of me until it felt like all the lodge members were in my living room. I couldn’t get rid of the energy and it just got worse and worse from that point on.

In retrospect what I think happened is this: I channel a lot of energy and a portion of this incoming energy was being channeled through me into the Masonic lodge. But the Freemasons are an all male organization and what was happening was that the male energy was being channeled and the incoming female energy had no place to go so it began to build up inside me seeking some type of outlet.

Finally this morning I had a dream about working on a project and being so involved in it that I forgot to clock into the job and report that I was there. My supervisor was a woman and I told her that not only was I there at work and had forgotten to sign in, but I had also been there early. I saw her take a pencil and erase that I had been tardy and even entered my true starting time. I knew then that I would start feeling better.

The strange thing about this energy sickness is that my dreams and my discomfort were filled with visions that included pages and pages or writing which I could read! Normally the ability to read written words is not a part of vision or dreams because it indicates the integration of a high level of conscious awareness at a low level.

I don’t have any answers or great insight to share. I’m just telling it like I experienced in case anyone is interested in such things. I do try to speak from personal experience!