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Archive for December, 2017

As this new eon progresses both secondary personalities, the HGA and the Shadow will become increasingly active. A great increase in auditory and visual hallucinations can be expected. For the Holy Guardian Angel this means visions from God or Jesus or other religious figures.

If you can’t integrate the HGA expect to hear and see it more and more along with religious and spiritual experiences. This will act to polarize the world population even more along religious vs materialist lines. There is no way to forecast how one might experience contact with the HGA in their lives.

My own experience integrating my HGA started at age fourteen and continued gradually to the age of forty. Things will happen much more quickly in today’s world. At age fourteen I my conscience awoke. This was a religious experience for me since I reached a point where I could no longer stand myself and who I was becoming. What did it matter if God forgave me when I couldn’t forgive myself?

Aligning my life to be in harmony with my conscience was the first major step in submission to the HGA. “Not my will but Thy will be done”. We might say this is the first step in submission to the HGA.

This alignment was not complete because I still attempted to stay within the confines of my religious upbringing. I began Rosicrucian studies at age eighteen and was introduced to advanced philosophical concepts like reincarnation and the symbolic, not literal meaning of the bible. Truth came from the Christ Spirit within my heart. I needed to follow an inner path and not a “Christian” one.

The external church held no answers. We might say the second step in submission to the HGA is to forsake tradition and external guidance to listen only to the still small voice of the Master Within that speaks through our hearts.

Then followed twenty years of intense study and the formulation of a paradigm or complete belief system. My belief system was created out of “illuminations” or flashes of insight. These communications from the HGA gradually formed a comprehensible and complete paradigm or personal belief system. We might say the third step in submission to the HGA is “Illumination” and personal insight into the reality of nature and life. This is termed the knowledge and conversation with the HGA.

Then followed a period of forsaking the physical world and neglecting the realities of life. As the discrepancy between normal life and the inner vision became more pronounced there was a fear that I might be going insane. This mental turmoil has been termed the death of the ego. My mind was torn between a longing to surrender myself to the HGA and desperately trying to keep rational and deal with daily living. We might say the fourth step in submission to the HGA is going insane and believing in it and ignoring physical reality.

Total submission is a form of suicide. Things get so bad you don’t care anymore and simply want to dissolve yourself into the light until there is nothing left. There is a tremendous pull toward the light and it becomes everything as you try to extinguish self into nothingness.

There is a feeling of intense relief and love as the light embraces you and you merge for the first time. This has been called “Crossing the Great Abyss”. We might say the fifth step in submission to the HGA is dissolving yourself momentarily into the light and becoming one with the universe.

With practice it gets easier and easier to dissolve our awareness into nothingness and the light. We cross the Great Abyss with greater frequency and ease until one day there is a permanent change and our normal awareness merges with the light in a permanent manner. This is the point where we have integrated our HGA. We exist inside of our HGA and sense it surrounding us as an extension of who we are. We might say the sixth step in submission to the HGA is being absorbed fully by the HGA and a radical shift of awareness termed Cosmic Consciousness.

This is not enough for us and we continue striving for more light. We miss the feeling of being dissolved. It’s not happening anymore. As hard as we try it is not possible to stay dissolved. As soon as Will lets up we find ourselves outside of the Light once more. Our soul can not go any further in that direction.

We can experience momentary union when we strive for it but it is gone as soon as we let up. There is a polarity switch taking place and we can feel our thought processes dropping back down into the mental levels. We are experiencing the “Luciferian Fall” and plunging back toward the earth. One might say the seventh final step in submission to the HGA is this reversal of polarity and plunge back toward the earth.

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The traditional tarot deck has several divisions within it. Perhaps the most well known are the trump cards. There are twenty two trumps in the traditional deck. Each one represents a path or life experience that must be encountered on the mystical path back to “Source” or “God/dess”. They represent forces of destiny that are cosmic in nature and beyond human influence.

In the OAK:Tarot of Love and Romance deck the trump cards represent much more than this. They represent how we discover and integrate the masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us. They are symbolic images of the attainment of spiritual, psychological, emotional and mental health.

Said in another way these trumps symbolize how we gradually learn to love ourselves. This is vitally important because how can we love someone else if we can not love ourselves? First we love others because we find in them things we would like to find in ourselves but can’t. We feel those we love complete us. As we grow and mature we come to recognize those same characteristics in ourselves. This process of self discovery is what the Trumps are about.

The rest of the deck is divided into four suits. Traditionally these are Wands, Swords, Cups, and Pentacles. These four suits represent spirit, intellect, emotion, and physical life. They also represent mundane life experiences easily recognized and within our power to change.

In the OAK:Tarot of Love and Romance I’ve chosen to use Wands, Swords, Cups, and Pentacles respectively for the same purpose. In this deck we use each suit to explore Spiritual love, Platonic love, Emotional love and Physical love between the male and the female.

These four suits are known as the “Minor Arcana” and the trumps are known as the “Major Arcana”. The Minor Arcana are the tarot cards we most identify with and we will begin with the suit of Wands or Spiritual Love.

The four suits are further divided into Court Cards and number cards. The Court Cards represent personality types we might recognize. In tarot readings a Court card is usually chosen to represent the individual asking for a reading. You might recognize yourself in one of these Court cards or you might recognize parts of yourself in all of them!

Lastly the descriptions given in this book describe how a male might experience the card and how a female might experience the card. I’ve done this for stylistic purposes. For example, if I say a card represents a male placing a female upon a pedestal I am describing how one person in a relationship might place the other on a pedestal. I don’t mean only males place females upon pedestals. I’m simply trying to describe an energy dynamic that is taking place between two people involved in a love relationship and how each might respond.
OAK is Today’s Leader in Modern Survivalism

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Today we are going to talk about the Albigensian Crusade or the crusade of the Church against the Cathars. The Cathars possessed valid spiritual and magical techniques and the “perfected ones”, the ones that really had traveled the path and done the work, performed many impressive miracles in front of the population.

The sect grew rapidly. Smaller sects were formed which mangled and destroyed the Christian faith, all under the name of the Cathars or Albigensian’s. They were all lumped together under the same name. Some believed one thing, some believed another and it was a real tangled mess.

But here are a few examples of what they did with Orthodox Christian theology.

If God knew that Adam and Eve would die from eating of the tree of knowledge, why did he let them eat it in the first place? And you know they didn’t die from eating from the tree of knowledge, but they became mortal and died later on in life after living long lives. They died because they were mortal.

Why were both good people and evil people allowed to perish at the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah or in the great flood? These questions went on and on. The entire world couldn’t have been filled with only only evil people.

Christians said that God suffered death upon the cross, that he died upon the cross. How can a God suffer, and how can a god die? How can a God come down to earth at all, and how was the earth created from his own body?

How can a God eat and drink like Jesus did. What’s this thing about communion and eating the body of Christ. It should’ve long been eaten up by now after all these centuries!

Then there was the subject of sexuality and sin. Why is sex sinful? How can we sin, by procreating? We are meant to continue the human species!

These were just a few of the questions the Cathars discussed.

Rome was a den of murderers. This was the epic war written of in the book of revelations.

Things became violent. They mocked and killed priests wherever they could find them and they used the holy implements for obscene purposes. A large part of their ritual became a mockery or parity of the Catholic mass and became what has been called the black mass which they performed upon entry into their cult.

At induction every novice had to denounce all Catholic belief, spit upon the cross, renounce baptism and unction. After this he would be kissed by the entire congregation and hands would be laid in blessing upon his or her head.

You can see just how reactive the Cathars were against Christianity but you have to remember that the Catholic Church at that time was mostly filled with rational atheists.

The Church elders didn’t really believe in the spiritual side of the Church at all. The Church was political. They believed in the temporal power of the Church itself, and tried to dominate the population. This movement of the people was a big threat to their authority.

A crusade against the heretics was preached. St. Dominic, the creator of the holy Inquisition, was charged with conducting the campaign and he became one of the most gruesome executioners that world history has ever known.

Simon de Montfort led the crusade against his own countrymen, most of whom were Cathars. It was a horrible massacre.

During the conquest of Bériers 60,000 people were killed, whether they were Christian or Cathar.

“For God knows who are his!” cried the abbot of Citeaux.

He also confessed to Pope Innocent that he was only able to kill 20,000. The surviving population fled to the forests and the mountains. Only Carcassonne remained as a fortification and no one dared defend it.

Hundreds there were hanged, and 500 burned. The people tried running to the nobles for protection, but the nobles fell one by one as the kindness of the Savior shone in its full brilliance.

At the fortress of Minerva it was promised that those who repented would be allowed to live. They were burned anyway!

“If he lies, he will get what he deserves. If he converts to the true faith the fire will extinguish his sin.”

That was the standard procedure which they used during the entire Inquisition. These Knights of the Holy Spirit, murdered, hanged, burned and broke on the wheel, not just individuals, but hundreds and thousands of people.

The church needs to own this. It’s part of their history. A few hundred were killed at Lavour with love and with extreme joy. 12,000 were murdered at Maurillac and Toulouse with unspeakable joy.

The entire South of France was destroyed and not a single stone remained standing. All the fortresses were destroyed. The nobles were hanged or burned, and the noble ladies were stoned out of gallantry so they didn’t have to suffer the indignity of being hanged or burned at the stake.

The church thought it had won and on the outside it seemed that way. The land was decimated. There was no trace of the heresy or the deeply hidden beliefs. But that was only on the outside. Never before had such a hatred penetrated so deeply into the hearts of the general population as after the massacre at Toulouse. Scarcely had the last Cathar finished spitting out his dying venomous curse against Jesus as he burned at the stake before the new priestess of Satan proudly and powerfully raised her terrible head, the witch!

But that is a totally different story for another time. Right now we are talking about the Albigensian crusade of the church against its own population in southern France.

I mentioned earlier, that southern France was actually the high point of civilization at that time in the whole Western world with its mingling of cultures. It consisted of the cultures of the Christians, of the Arabs, of the the Jewish people and of the Bogomils.

PS: I have started a new Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if interested.

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Ellen was looking at him with a let’s get this over with expression. He considered and then gave in. Ellen was someone he trusted even if he didn’t know her that well. He had no reason to believe she would turn him in or cause him harm. She had already been very helpful to him.

“It’s all confused.” He began. “It involves my uncle who used to be the Federation Officer here. He was in charge of the classified work my parents were doing. It involves Sarah’s father who has a very strange shop in Old Seattle.

That’s not all,” he said resignedly. “It also involves Crow’s grandfather, a shaman named Howling Wolf from the local village and the mass murder of all the people living at the old gathering spot by the waterfall. These deaths include my own parents, Crow’s parents, Sarah’s mother and two brother’s that she doesn’t even know she has.”

“Damn,” Rafe whispered in stunned shock. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

Ellen gradually regained her own composure and echoed Rafe’s question, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“I’ve only just learned about some of it myself,” Tobal said. “I’m still training Crow and didn’t know he was Howling Wolf’s grandson until he told me.”

“Is there anything else you are not telling me,” Ellen persisted. “Do you have any proof what you are saying is true?”
Again Tobal and Rafe looked at each other. Tobal sighed and stood up. “You’d better follow me. We’ll go for a walk and I’ll show you.”

As they walked into the moonlit woods they retraced the steps back to where Tobal had demonstrated the wand to Rafe last month. He showed Ellen the same demonstration he had shown Rafe. There was pure silence as she touched the second hole in the boulder and looked at the steaming circle that seconds ago had been frozen and snow covered. With luck it would be frozen and snow covered again by morning if the wind kept up.

“Let’s go back,” was all she said. The snow crunched eerily under their boots as they made their way back to the fire circle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the wand before,” Tobal said nervously. “I wanted a chance to examine it first. Everything was so rushed and the rogues were tracing me somehow. Then last circle I tried to meet with you and wasn’t able to.” He stopped as she waved a weary hand to silence him.

“We can be pretty certain the rogues are able to monitor any of us that are wearing med-alert bracelets,” she said finally. “That’s why we never see any of them. They know we are coming and hide. We can also be pretty sure they are from the same mountain complex we use as our own base.”

Tobal and Rafe looked at each other in puzzlement. Ellen noticed and continued.

“Just like the Journeymen and the Apprentices, the Masters or medics have a secret meeting place. Ours is part of a mountain complex we thought belonged to the city. I am now thinking it is part of a classified Federation military operation of some type. We are only allowed access to the emergency room in the hospital and one wing where we have our own personal quarters and do rituals. I suppose it makes things much easier for them to keep an eye on us when we live right there with them.”

She looked at Rafe, “I’ve told Tobal this already. The area around the lake by the waterfall and several other locations including the village are forbidden and we have orders to prevent people from going there.”

“I didn’t realize Crow came from the other village,” she said. “That might complicate things if he ever decides to go back and visit.”

She put her hands on her temples rubbing them as if she had a massive migraine coming on. “Let’s just leave it like this for now,” she said at last. “We can talk about it later next month. I really need to think about what you have told me and shown me. This sounds like something very dangerous to be mixed up in.”

Rafe interrupted, “Can you mark on my map those other forbidden places? I might not be able to check them out but I would like to know where they are.”

Ellen stared intently at Rafe a few minutes and then nodded, “Most of them are not accessible on foot though so it won’t do you any good. Bring me your map and I will mark it later.”

“And you,” she turned to Tobal, “What are you planning to do with that device you found? Have you thought about that? It is not safe to have it around or to carry it with you.”

“I’d like to think about it for another month,” he said thoughtfully. “I know I can’t keep it after I’m a Journeyman because I won’t have a good place to hide it. I’ll let you know soon.”

The three of them had a lot on their minds as they broke up the meeting and went back to join the others at the drumming circle. Tobal felt thirsty and went looking for fresh brew and light conversation. Later he even joined in with the dancing although he kept his robe on. So did many of the others as the wind was chill and it was several degrees below zero.

He and Crow said their good-byes and left the circle early the next morning after the usual hugs and kisses to the girls. The days were getting shorter and there was only six hours of light for useful travel. As they snow shoed their way back to Tobal’s winter camp they talked about Crow’s initiation.

“They are worried about you”, Crow said to Tobal suddenly.

“Who is worried about me? What are you talking about.”
The Lord and Lady, they are worried about you. They say that you need a soul
retrieval. An important part of your soul is missing.

“What is a soul retrieval?”

“That is when a shaman goes on a soul journey and brings back a part of someone’s soul that has been missing or stolen. My grandfather trained me in the spirit journey method and I can do this for you. The Lord and Lady want me to do this for you. You will let me do this won’t you?” He implored looking searchingly at Tobal.

Tobal was a bit uncomfortable talking about things he didn’t understand. “I need to think about it ok? What else did the Lord and Lady have to say?”

Crow was very excited, “They told me to tell you they are still alive! They are very weak and not in good health but they are alive. They are trapped somewhere and can’t free themselves. They use the energy generated by the circle to communicate with us. Not many can see or hear them though. Usually it is only the High Priest and High Priestess that can see them or hear them.

“I have never heard them or felt them so strongly,” he told Tobal with tears in his eyes. “We do not have circle like this at our village. Our circle is different and they don’t come to us as strongly. They showed me my parents, Tobal. They let me speak with my parents.”

“But I thought your parents were dead,” Tobal asked slowly?

“They are in the Summerland,” Crow replied. It is where the spirit goes after the physical body dies. My parents are happy there but they miss my sister and me. They told me there is danger for all of us coming soon and we must be prepared. The Lord and the Lady will help us if they can but we must learn how to talk to them and listen to what they have to say. I need to teach you and your friends the ways of the shaman so you are ready when the time comes.”

Tobal didn’t know what to say. The thought that his parents might still be alive stunned him as did the thought that Crow was able to carry on conversations not only with the Lord and Lady but with Crow’s own dead parents as well. He felt them now, the Lord and Lady, at the back of his mind urging him to believe. Oh, how he wanted to believe but did he dare? These thoughts troubled him as they made their journey home through the bitter cold and snow.

He spent the second month with Crow gaining advanced knowledge in the art of survival and craftsmanship. Crow had grown up in a community that lived a primitive life close to nature. His training had went beyond simple survival into quality of life areas such as art and decorative clothing and functional tools such as hand axes made of flint with razor edges and the knowledge of how to sharpen them. There were fun things too such as games, drums, whistles, flutes and other items carved from wood.

In the evenings he worked on the small carvings he intended to give to his friends at Yule. He also very much improved the look of his wardrobe seeking to match the stylish clothing Crow created so easily from the leathers and furs they had caught over the past two months.

Mostly though, in the evening he listened to the stories of the old ones and of the Lord and Lady of the Oak. Crow said the Lord and Lady talked to him at times during circle at his village. They taught him things and protected him in the wilderness. He said they also talked with his grandfather. His grandfather knew they were still alive but it was not time to free them yet.

Tobal asked questions and tried to make sense of as much of it as he could. Crow offered to teach him special meditations that would prepare him for the time when the Lord and Lady would talk with him also. Tobal accepted gladly and each night they would practice meditating and other shaman practices Crow felt were important.

“The soul has many parts.” Crow told him one evening. “There is a physical part, an emotional part, a mental part, and a spiritual part. Each of these parts must be strong and complete and full of energy before the soul can travel.

Howling Wolf, my grandfather, developed all the parts of his soul until he was filled solid and completely like a crystal. His soul was so hard and packed with energy it filled his physical body until it too could travel and he could be in two places at the same time. The Lord and Lady called this bi-location and wanted to learn it from grandfather.

Grandfather told them it was an ancient mystery of the shaman since the dawn of time. Grandfather knew about the sanctuary training program that your parents created and he approved of it. He said it helped to develop the physical and emotional parts of the soul but not the mental or spiritual parts of the soul. He told your parents the soul could not travel until all of the parts were completed and filled with energy. That was why things were not working right for your parents in their research.

Grandfather offered to teach them the ways of the shaman to build the mental and spiritual parts of the soul and they accepted. He came to them in secret and taught several of them in a secret meeting place near the lake. Soon the Lord and Lady were more powerful than Howling Wolf. They were scientists and discovered ways to use machines to force even more energy into the soul and physical body than ever before.”

Crow continued his story as Tobal listened in fascination.” Grandfather had only been able to bi-locate or spirit travel to the point where he could be in two places at once. His spirit body that traveled was made of energy so tightly packed and compressed that it could be seen and felt like a physical body. It was a physical body made completely of energy. When he traveled he used this physical body of energy and left his normal physical body at home sleeping.

“The Lord and Lady used machines to develop this process to the point where the actual physical body would disappear and appear some other place. Later at the secret meeting place they were able to take others with them on journeys to strange and wonderful places and bring things back with them.

“Grandfather says he still goes on journeys to some of those places he visited with the Lord and Lady. He has taken my sister to some of those places too but it is very secret and he says I am too young to go on such journeys yet.

Now my sister goes on journeys by herself without grandfather and he worries about her because the journeys are dangerous. He says my parents and the others at the lake were killed because they knew these things and that if the evil ones knew about us they would try to kill us as well.”

“There is a mighty secret hidden in the cave at the lake,” he said seriously to Tobal. “I can find it but you must explain it to me. That is what grandfather told me. We can go now if you want.”

“We can’t go now,” Tobal told him gently and pointed to the med-alert bracelets they both were wearing. “These bracelets let the medics and the evil ones know where we are at all times and we can’t take them off. If we take them off the medics will come looking to see what is wrong. If we don’t wear them we can’t become citizens of Heliopolis. You remember that is what your grandfather wanted you to do?” He asked.

“That area by the lake is forbidden and they don’t want us to go there. It is because of the great secret you are telling about.” He told Crow about his experience with the air sleds during his visit of the abandoned gathering spot the first time.

When he told Crow about his second visit the boy’s eyes looked like burning coals as Tobal described the cave and the altar.

“I have heard of such a cave myself,” he said. “My grandfather goes to a cave much like the one you have described. But it is a secret and he has not told me its location. I am not old enough he says, although my sister has gone and she described it to me. It has the same symbol you speak of above the altar itself. Perhaps it is the same cave?”

“I don’t think so,” Tobal replied. “When I was in the cave it looked like no one had been there for many years.”

“Will you take me to see the grave of my parents?” Crow asked Tobal suddenly.

“I have wanted to go back many times myself,” he said to Crow, ” but I am afraid it will not work in the winter time. I’ve spoken much about this with my friend Rafe and Ellen. They both believe it is very dangerous and we must wait until we are medics and have our own air sleds. Then we can work together and protect each other if needed. I also think this is the best plan. Any other way seems too dangerous and likely that we will get caught. It is especially dangerous in the wintertime when the snow will give away our location and leave tracks. I will mark it on your map though so you know where it is.”

“Then let’s become medics,” Crow said determinedly. “Let’s learn the mysteries and ways of the evil ones so that we may defeat them.”

Tobal chuckled, “So we will, so we will. But now it’s time to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day.”

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Dead Senses

The first pain of life came,
During Spring’s power, full of longing,
Taking my sense of joy, peace, laughter;
Giving me nothing but hot tears.

The second pain of life came,
Sinking powerfully down inside me,
Taking my longing, hot passion, tears,
Giving me all my laughter again.

My heart cold like a block of ice,
And my laughter like the winter sun,
My delights without depth,
My joys without love.

The power of fate, came like lightning!
Striking my dead senses,
So that from burning eyes once more,
Runs a single tear.

-Mia Holm 1900
translated by Joe Bandel

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I had my first major spiritual experience at fourteen. They say your conscience kicks in around the age of twelve but at fourteen mine was still not bothering me.

I came from a strongly religious home with high standards. The problem was the standards were so high no human could live them. I found myself living a split life. At home around my parents I was one person and in school and around friends I was someone totally different. Leading two lives was stressful but I could handle it.

In a small way I lied and I stole things. We were poor and I never had any money to buy what I wanted. I just took things. I was smart and able to get away with it. I remember going to confirmation class at church. It was a joke because I already knew all of the bible stories by heart. They had been read to us so much that I was sick of them. That was not the case for most of the other kids in class and they were having a hard time of it. I was easily the star student and favorite.

Forget the fact that I was sitting in class munching on candy. I had stolen money from the good will box and used it to buy candy to eat during class. Like I said, my conscience had not kicked in yet.

But the stress of living two lives kept building and my spiritual training kept putting more pressure on me to change. One traumatic night I couldn’t stand it any longer. It didn’t matter if God forgave me or not because I couldn’t stand to live with myself. My own personal standards were higher than what I was living and it was killing me.

I was not being true to myself and it led to a crisis and spiritual conversion. Perhaps this was the typical “born again” experience. All I knew was that I could not live with myself the way I was. I needed to change. I needed to feel good about myself.

That night in the darkness I prayed to God and the Cosmic to help me and guide me in all things. I vowed never to lie or steal again and I never have. Since that night thirty six years ago my conscience has been clean and I have remained true to myself. It is not always easy but it is the most powerful thing a person can do.

Later the Rosicrucians taught me that God or the Cosmic speaks through the heart and through the still small voice of the conscience. They called this voice the “Master Within”. This was my first exposure to the concept of internal authority vs. external authority.

PS: I’ve started a new Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if interested.

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FIRST GROUP OF ELEMENTS WITH SEVEN ELECTRON SHELLS

(in this study life span indicates the known half-life of the radioactive element or isotope of that element.)

Element #118 “unknown”
This is the heaviest possible element. If it exists it has seven complete electron shells around it. It would belong to the Noble
gases. Astrally it would share the characteristics of the noble gases and resist interaction with other elements. It would act as a barrier to astral travel. It would act to keep life energy within the physical body and protect the physical body from outside influences.

Element #117 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #116 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #115 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #114 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #113 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #112 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #111 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #110 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #109 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #108 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #107 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #106 “unknown”
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #105 Hahnium
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #104 Rutherfordium
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span, possibly only seconds. An astral body created of this element would last only seconds outside of the physical body before returning to it.

Element #103 Lawrencium
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a very short life span of less than three minutes. An astral body created of this element would last less than three minutes outside of the physical body before returning to it.
Life threatening situations where “everything is moving in slow motion” may be the result of the projection of an astral body created of this element working to resolve an immanent threat to the physical body.
It is also possible that life energy flowing through this astral body is responsible for our conscious awareness of things within our immediate environment.

Element #102 Nobelium
The seventh electron shell of this element would be incomplete. It would be a radioactive metal with a life span of possibly 58 minutes. An astral body created of this element would last about 58 minutes outside of the physical body before returning to it.
It is also possible that life force flowing through this astral body gives us conscious awareness of what is going on in our environment and allows us to “anticipate” events up
to an hour in advance.

Element # 101 Mendelevium
This element is radioactive with a life span of about 58 days. An astral body constructed of this element would exist about 58 days before deteriorating. Here we get our first clue about the role that these lower astral levels play in our lives. with each higher level the life span is seen to be increasing.
It is obvious that our individual awareness does not exist outside of our body for 58 days at a time. We are able to project and anticipate events this far into the future and to remember in short term memory this far into the past.
Tentatively we can suggest that the lowest levels of the astral plane concern our physical awareness and consciousness during normal waking hours. We have awareness of our immediate environment as we interact with it. We have the ability to plan ahead into the future both short and long term. We also have short term and long term memory that allows us to remember past events and learn from them.

Element #100 Fermium
This radioactive element has a life span of 100 days. Astral bodies or events at this level would deal with life events up to 100 days into the future or 100 days into the past.
Our daily awareness and planning three months into the future or remembering events up to three months into the past would naturally occur here.

Element #99 Einsteinium
This radioactive element has a life span of 276 days. This would deal with our conscious ability for long range planning into the future. It also would deal with more long range memory of important past events.
This is a natural break in the astral levels because above this level the characteristics of the elements change radically.
In summary this first group of lowest level elements have short life spans ranging from fractions of a second to less than 300 days. Since the human body contains trace elements of all elements within it, the human body also must contain the astral components of these elements needed to create a “resonant circuit”. Also the human body should have characteristics similar to those of these lower elements.
In fact, these lowest astral levels could represent the basic requirements for life as we understand it. Here is possibly the basic “instinct” for survival and the ability of an organism to interact meaningfully with its surrounding environment. Its ability to adapt to new survival conditions and to learn from past experiences. Also it’s ability to escape from life threatening situations.
On a higher octave these levels could represent humanity’s ability of self-awareness and our ability to plan future events as well as remember past events. These levels could represent our “attention” spans!
From the perspective of the earth’s resonant circuit and it’s tremendous “tank current” these levels would represent atoms or astral events that are rapidly deteriorating to the lowest element #118. These are events that are in the process of happening or have just happened.
Energy is in the process of leaving the astral part of the “resonant circuit” and entering the physical part of the circuit as a physical reality. The flow of all energy is toward element #118 which somehow transmits all of the energy into physical objects, possibly through gravitational waves that not only bring objects together but also bring people and events together.
“Astral” travels or dream “adventures” work against this natural flow of energy and require large amounts of energy from the physical body to sustain themselves.
In contrast the normal flow sustains “instinctive” awareness of the immediate environment and an ability to plan ahead in humans. It supports “physical” activity and survival.

SECOND GROUP OF ELEMENTS WITH SEVEN ELECTRON SHELLS

(in this study life span indicates the known half-life of the radioactive element or an isotope of that element.)

Element #98 Californium
This radioactive element has a life span of 900 years. As additional characteristic is that it emits high amounts of energy.
900 years is obviously longer than the human life span. This astral layer marks the lowest layer of what occultists call the “Akashic records”. As this is the lowest layer it is also the most accurate “record” of past and future events. It is at this level that we find our true destiny and path in life.
Events in this astral layer are not easily altered. This is where the earth has finalized physical events and it’s tremendous “tank current” locks these events in place.

Element #97 Berkelium
This radioactive element has a life span of 1,400 years. Here we find the probable events of the next 1,400 years. The earth’s “resonant circuit” is narrowing down potential future events into the most harmonious from its point of view. Seen from this long range perspective individual lives are not very important.
An exception to this would be the lives of very important and influential people. These few people have the ability to alter society and the face of the earth itself. For that reason they are important factors here. The earth demands that certain changes in society happen at certain critical time periods. It “empowers” certain individuals so they can achieve these critical changes.

Element #96 Curium
This radioactive element has a life span of 10 million years. Astral events recorded here would deal almost entirely with earth changes and not with life forms at all. The most successful and adaptable life forms would be represented and that would be all.

Element #95 Americum
This radioactive element has a life span of 7,400 years. It also has the characteristic of being super conductive at very low temperatures.
This is an interesting break in the “Akashic” records. In fact, this could be considered the beginning of “probable” future events. The lower “Akashic” records could be almost set in stone as far as a person’s ability to alter them.
This level being super conductive suggests that huge quantities of energy may try to alter the course of events.
This could very well be a battle ground where species collectively struggle against extinction and struggle to ensure their place in the future.

Element #94 Plutonium
This radioactive element has a life span of 24,100 years. It’s radiation is highly poisonous and it is used in atomic bombs and nuclear reactors.
The poisonous nature of this level suggests that here we may find the possible death of all species including our own. As much as we would like to believe that human life is special humanity can only exist as long as we can adapt to our environment. Here for example we could find life after a global nuclear war as well as life where nuclear war does not exist competing side by side as potential futures.

Element #93 Neptunium
This radioactive element has a life span of 2 million years. The large time span represented here represents what could happen in the next 2 million years if things continue as they are now. These global “events” are subject to change depending on the actions of humanity and other life forms on the earth’s surface. Here is where the natural course of events can be altered for millions of years into the future.

Element #92 Uranium
This radioactive element has a life span that ranges between isotopes. It could be as long as 4 billion years or as short as 250,000 years. It is highly poisonous and reactive with other elements. It is also the heaviest natural element found pure in nature. It is the main source of nuclear power.
This astral level has some very interesting characteristics that suggest it is a very critical level in the formation of possible future events. It’s highly reactive nature would allow many possibilities and options to be tried before selecting the most stable ones.
It is very possible that here self-determinism and will power can for the first time alter the “natural” course of events and where one person’s contribution can make a big difference. Here individuals can compete for critical roles in humanities future. The “will to survive” can empower heroic actions and discoveries.

Element #91 Protactinium
This radioactive
element has a life span of 33,000 years. Here are even more speculative versions of the future and of the past. Here are things that could have happened but didn’t. Maybe sometime in the future they will again be possible. Here also is a fine place for imaginary events and beings to be tried out to see if they are practical and realistic.

Element #90 Thorium
This radioactive element has a life span of 14 billion years. It is also the last of the “Akashic” records. Here is recorded the past and future of the entire universe. All events must find their proper place in the “Big Picture”. When our sun burns itself out something will happen to life on earth. Galactic events like this take priority over anything we can do.
The survival of the human race depends on our ability to be somewhere else when our sun burns out. Potential events like these are so far in the future that it has not been determined yet. This level offers a general map of the probable course of natural “Galactic” events that will shape our universe.

Element #89 Actinium
This radioactive element is known to “glow in the dark”. It is a silvery white metal. It is possible that “ectoplasm” is an astral body constructed of this element. In any event such an astral body would have a ghostly appearance to an observer.
This may be where the first formation of the “etheric” double takes place. The “etheric” double is said to be the heaviest “astral” body. Trained occultists are supposedly able to function at full awareness in this “astral” body and to have a complete memory upon return to the physical body.

Element #88 Radium
This radioactive metal is luminous and is under constant decay. It is used to coat luminous dials. It also releases large amounts of energy. This may also be related to “ectoplasm” and to “ghostly” encounters or astral visions.

Element #87 Francium
This radioactive alkali metal has a life span of 21 minutes. This just happens to coincide with the average persons “dream” adventures. An astral body constructed of this element would last only about 21 minutes. This could very well be the average dream body that we are all familiar with.

In summary the astral levels that correspond to elements with a seventh electron shell can be broken into five distinct sections that compare favorably with traditional occult science.

DIVISION I

The lowest division is that of element #118 which has a complete electron shell and directs the tremendous “tank” current of the earth’s “resonant circuit” into all physical objects and life forms. It is at this level that all astral events become physical reality through a gravitational force that pulls objects together and impels specific events to happen at specific times.

DIVISION II

The second division corresponds to life and an instinctive awareness of immanent events in one’s life. This is situational awareness and allows a life form to interact with it’s environment and survive potential life threatening situations. On a higher octave it may also relate to mankind’s ability to consciously think ahead and plan future events deliberately.

DIVISION III

The third division is that of the “fixed” “Akashic” records. These events are essentially set in stone and will happen physically. The massive “tank” current in the earth’s resonant circuit holds these events in place.

DIVISION IV

The forth division is that of the “potential” “Akashic” records. Here various combinations are tried out before the selection of the most stable and harmonious events. This area is essentially a “war zone” in the sense that entire species must struggle to maintain the right to exist. Those species that can’t adapt to changing conditions die. This is also where “key” figures in society’s advancement are selected. The “will to survive” determines who will live and who will die.

DIVISION V

The fifth division is that of the “etheric double” , ectoplasm and ghostly encounters as well as the “dream” body. This level is where the “astral” body first takes on individual awareness and participates in “astral” activities.

PS: I have started a new Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if interested.

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Of the seven possible astral bodies we are born with both the highest and the lowest already activated and functioning. In the last post I termed the Highest astral body the Holy Guardian Angel and the Lowest astral body the Shadow. Any activated astral body creates a secondary personality.

This means we are born with two secondary personalities in addition to our normal ego awareness as it develops. These are literally the angel and devil that sit on our shoulders whispering and tempting us.

It is not coincidence that schizophrenia results when the normal ego is weak and the “Christ” aspect or the “Devil” aspect attempt to take over our physical bodies.

These two secondary personalities are very important and each connects to a major cosmic power source. The “Christ” aspect or Holy Guardian Angel is linked to Spiritual Photon Energy. It can draw unlimited power from the cosmic and use it to create new things. It is the divine power of light and love.

When we connect and integrate this secondary personality we tap into the spiritual power resources of the cosmic itself. It is created from two bits of awareness and is archetypal in nature consisting of perceptions of self evident reality.

The “Devil” aspect or Shadow is linked to Earth energy. It can draw unlimited energy from the earth to manifest things physically. This is the Cosmic energy of manifestation. When we tap into this power source we are given dominion and power to physically manifest whatever we wish.

This secondary personality is created from thirty two bits of awareness and deals with organic awareness and sensuality.

The task of the mystic is to contact the Holy Guardian Angel and integrate it successfully into normal ego awareness. If the normal ego is not strong enough the mystic will loose touch with reality and become absorbed into the secondary personality. He or she will think they are Jesus or the Virgin Mary. Their normal ego can not withstand the cosmic energies that pour through the Holy Guardian Angel.

The task of the Magician is to contact the Shadow or “Animal Totem” and integrate it successfully into normal ego awareness. If the normal ego is not strong enough the magician will loose touch with reality and become absorbed into the secondary personality. He or she will become “possessed” by their “Demon”. The normal ego can not withstand the powerful earth energies that surge through the Shadow.

Of the 118 bits of awareness possible thirty four are already taken at birth and not available to us. That leave us with 84 bits of awareness to develop and integrate as our “normal Ego”. Even these will not integrate smoothly but form five separate astral bodies and secondary personalities. The only thing we have going for us is that these are not even developed but dormant. As we develop them we can also integrate them into an united personality.

Each bit of awareness can create thought forms or fetches. This is an advanced magic practice in one sense but ordinary in another sense. When you are trying to remember something and can’t you are really sending out mental energy as a thought form or fetch. It was created to bring back that memory or bit of information you desired. Later some time during the day or even the next day when you are busy doing something else you suddenly remember what it was. The fetch returned with the desired information. This common phenomenon is what magic thought forms and fetches are really about. It is simply done in a deliberate manner with different types of energies and astral bodies.

It is important the fetch or thought form be absorbed back into your body when it returns or it will turn against you and seek to become an independent secondary personality with a life and awareness of its own. The Holy Guardian Angel and the Shadow are both advanced thought forms that have complete astral bodies and their own life force that keeps them alive. This is why it is so dangerous to integrate them into the normal ego. Each one is more vital and powerful than the normal ego and absorbs it at first.

The absorbing of the normal ego is the death of the ego and the most frightening thing we can experience. In metaphysical literature there is a battle for the soul or normal ego. Both the Holy Guardian Angel and the Shadow are in a fierce combat trying to gain control over it.

PS: I’ve started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

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Today we are going to talk about the Cathars. This melting pot of cultures in southern France after the failure of the Crusades created a new form of Manichaeism.

The church taught that only good existed, that only good was real and that evil was the absence of good; that only light existed, and darkness was the absence of light. We can hear these same things things today.

But the new Manichaean’s taught that evil existed and was just as real as good was; that darkness was not just the absence of light, but an important part of life itself. In fact, life began in the darkness of the human womb. They taught that man had both a physical body and a soul and that the physical body and the soul were in eternal conflict.

You can see this reemergence of the question of duality and dualism. This conflict of ancient duality was eternal and went back to the Godhead itself. The desires of the flesh were not sins because they were the gifts of the God of the physical world.

Give to the spirit those things that belong to the spirit and give to the flesh, those things that belong to the flesh. That is one of the concepts that these new Manichaean’s, the Cathars came out with. There was a strict division between things of the physical world and things of the spiritual world and you could not judge one by considerations of the other.

So there was no punishment for sin, and eternal damnation was just nonsense. The sacraments of penance and communion were invalid and just as ridiculous as if a dog were to bite a stone. People belonged to the dark side with their bodies and to the light side with their souls. It was that simple.

But the Bogomil’s that settled in southern France brought with them their own old Organic Gnostic beliefs that had been carried over from the goddess religions and Zoroastrianism. These ancient beliefs created their own division within this new group of people and was also centered around the idea of duality, but it was the duality of the Organic Gnostics. The Bogomil’s saw duality as sexual, as the physical embrace of male and female, and so it was one of the most sacred things that existed in the development of the human soul.

They believed of true opposites in an eternal loving embrace and this became the pagan religion of the uneducated common folk and the early stirrings of what was to become known as witchcraft. They established secret covens and celebrated their dark carnal sexual mysteries in the forests, caves, and on the mountain tops.

Remember the Rational Atheists and Social Enforcers lived in their heads, and the Social Enforcer especially was intent upon the development of the soul through the denial of the physical and immersion into the mental and spiritual energies.

So the more educated, intellectual, and mystical Social Enforcers became saints. They lived according to an unbelievably strict code of behavior and a mortifying asceticism. They denied their bodies and mortified their flesh. They were zealots and believers and they spread their spiritual beliefs with passion and conviction. They were considered saints and healers who could purify a person at the time of death simply by the laying on of hands.

So even within the Cathars you see a big split. On the one hand you have people retreating from the physical world because of the realness of a spiritual experience that went beyond what physical life had to offer. It’s too easy to think that one group was right and one was wrong.

The real thing is to validate that these people believed that the soul existed and the spirit world was real. But the soul as conceived and experienced by the Social Enforcers was created out of mental and spiritual energies. It did not contain the deeper emotions of the heart and lower passions. It was mystical and all in the head, but it was real. The soul had the ability to exist independent of the physical body.

But the Social Enforcers were not able to integrate duality. They maintained the distinction where black and white cannot mingle within the human body. The physical has its own life. The spirit has its own life. They do not mingle.

In contrast the Organic Gnostics believed in the integration of black and white, and the loving embrace of both dualities as male and female, and they celebrated that through physical love relationships. The soul was not only created, but strengthened and its powers were strengthened. The physical body was the temple of God.

These people were true magicians. They were working with magical energies, whereas the others, the Social Enforcers, had their own spiritual magic that involved the soul, but did not impact physical reality to any great degree.

The one thing both groups could agree upon was a fanatical hatred for the Catholic Church and its dogma. They were anti-Catholic, anti-Church and this united them together.

It caused problems that the church had to deal with and the Church did deal with them through the attempted genocide of this entire population.

In summary, the Cathars were split into two groups. One group believed in duality as the loving embrace of opposites and were Organic Gnostics and the other group believed in a strong unbelievably strict asceticism and renunciation of all things of the flesh. These were the Social Enforcers.

You can view this as the beginning of the left-hand path and the right-hand path where both recognize the spirituality of the development of the soul and its powers, but taking different directions while both being strongly opposed to the Christian Church that had been taken over by Rational Atheists.

PS: I have just started a Facebook discussion group called Organic Gnosticism. Feel free to join if you are interested.

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Chapter 17

Zee and Kevin were planning on spending the winter together. Their newbies were soloing and being kicked out of the nest. They would probably end up partnering with one of the other newly soloed Apprentices. No one really liked spending the long winter months alone if they could help it. It was an added bonus if romance was involved too. Still, spending the winter with a romantic partner had it’s own drawbacks and many such partnerships did not last till spring. Still not very many wanted to train during the winter either. Perhaps the most common was partnering with friends or newbies during the winter.

The next place he headed was over to the beer barrel for some brew. Butch and Mike were talking with Rafe.

“Mike and I were thinking about holing up for the rest of the winter but we really don’t know where the best place is,” Butch was saying. “We have a few places we want to check out. Someone already claimed the one we were planning to use. They chased us out of there, let me tell you.” He laughed.

“Hey you guys can live in my old base camp for the winter if you want to,” Rafe said. “I’m not living there anymore and spending most of my time either at circle or the Journeyman camp. I have most of my things out of there that I need.”

“Are you sure?” Mike asked eagerly. Rafe was legendary and his camp must be a pretty sweet setup where ever it was.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “Consider it yours. Does either of you know where it is? I didn’t think so. Bring a map and I’ll mark it for you. If you have any trouble finding it Tobal or one of the girls can help you.”

He looked at Tobal and grinned.

“I’m just giving away my campsite to these guys,” he grinned mischievously. “That is if they can find it. The Journeyman degree is so different I don’t need a base camp for the winter.”

“We’ll check it out first thing Rafe,” Butch grinned back. “We’ll find it if it takes us all week.” Then he and Mike left toward the circle with their fresh brews in their hands.

Tobal nodded at Dirk.

“You guys working here now?”

“Yes,” Dirk grinned evilly. “We’re the beer meisters now.”

“What’s that mean?” Tobal asked cautiously.

“We were taken off wood duty and now we make sure no one runs out of beer.

Rafe interrupted, “See this beer,” he held up a foamy mug of beer. “This beer is four months old. Beer tastes best when it is four months old. The beer we make won’t be ready until March or April sometime.” He grinned evilly.

“That means we can experiment with the recipe a bit and have some fun with it.”
Dirk added, “We’ve got to brew the beer and keep it from freezing so we will be spending the next two months right here. We go through three or four barrels every month at circle. Last month we went through twelve because there were three days of feasting. That used up our reserves.”

“That means we’ve got to work harder than ever,” Rafe said gloomily. Then he brightened up, “That’s why we are going to have some fun with this. I’ve already got some special ingredients in mind.”

Tobal knew there were times when the beer had been absolutely nasty and undrinkable. “I hope you don’t make some of that real nasty stuff that gives people the runs like it did last July.”

Rafe grinned. “We aren’t planning to be around to be drinking it. We should both be getting our Masters initiation by then. I hear the medics have some real good stuff and they even make some brandy.”

“You’re not serious?” Tobal gasped in horror at the thought. You wouldn’t do that to us would you?” He pleaded with them. Rafe and Dirk were laughing hard now.

“You wait and see,” was all either of them would say.

They talked more about the art of brewing beer in the wilderness. The real issue was getting enough sugar to ferment into alcohol. The sugar content came from boiling maple syrup down into maple sugar in the spring. There were only about three weeks when the sap really flowed and the entire Journeyman community helped in boiling it down.

It was not uncommon to see air sleds carrying buckets of maple sap. The medics even provided plastic buckets with lids from used hospital supplies to be used for barrels and also provided the yeast. The other ingredients were left up to the imagination of the brewmiester although the basic recipe was expected to be followed fairly closely. The maple syrup was kept in the same location as the beer and not allowed to freeze.

Tobal shuddered to think of what those two would come up with. Best to enjoy the beer they were serving today which was rich and tasty. He told Rafe he would talk with him sometime later after circle and they could both meet with Ellen to see what she had found out about the rogue attacks. Then he went off looking for the others.

There was no sign of Tara and Nick. Tobal guessed they were snowed in and making the best of it. The weather was bitter cold and the three day travel to circle was something only the brave or desperate would willingly tackle. Tobal came because it was his social connection to the others, a time to forget his own troubles, celebrate and have some fun with others.

He found Sarah over by the cooking pits slicing off choice pieces of roast and getting some stew. The stew was the main way the clan had vegetables in the winter and everyone contributed from their own stores.

His own stomach started to rumble. “Is the stew any good?”

She glanced at him, “Oh, hi Tobal. Yes, the stew and roast is excellent. Grab a bowl.”

Tobal grabbed one of the large wooden bowls that were stacked nearby and went over to the roast first. He cut several chunks of meat off the roast and filled to bowl to the top with stew. Then he grabbed a wooden spoon and tasted it. She was right. It was delicious.

“Did you get your winter camp setup all right?” He asked her between spoonfuls.

“Butch and Mike helped me get things together and it’s really great! I’m so glad they were able to help because it was a lot of work. Did you hear they are going to get Rafe’s old base camp?”

“Yes, I heard they were going to check it out anyway,” he chuckled, “That is if they can find it. Rafe’s camp is hard to find.”

“I know, that’s what I told them too,” she said. “I had a hard time finding Rafe’s camp the first time I was there. You remember don’t you? It was when I was training with you and we needed to go there and get your old winter supplies. We went together.”

“Oh, that’s right,” he smiled sheepishly. “I must be getting old. I completely forgot about that. We did have some fun and some good times. I bet you miss your father though.”

“It’s kind of surprising but I really don’t miss him that much. In fact there are times I feel he is right here checking up on me. It’s like I can see him with my mind’s eye. I know he’s not really there but part of him is and it helps me.” She started crying and Tobal put his arms around her and comforted her. Finally she stopped and wiped her eyes and nose.

“Sorry about that,” she sniffled. “I guess I miss him more than I thought I did.”

“That’s alright,” he said. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He changed the subject, “Now that your base camp is ready are you going to partner up for the winter?”

“Actually,” she said, “I’m going to try for my first newbie and see how it goes.”

“Really?”

Tobal was both surprised and pleased that she would try her first newbie during the hardest time of the year. She did have a nice base camp though and plenty of game in the area. She also had enough furs to get her newbie protected from the elements until they could manufacture their own.

“That’s great!” He gave her a big hug and a kiss. “Let me know if you need anything.”

She said she would and they finished their meal chatting about other things. She was happy and in much better health than she had been at the store. Tobal could tell she was thriving out here being around people her own age.

Together they washed the bowls and spoons so others could use them and went over to change into robes for circle.

The line was forming for entrance. Misty and the High Priest were casting the circle. Ellen was standing as a guard at the circle’s entrance. She motioned for Tobal to come closer.

“Meet me after circle,” she said. “We’ve got some things we need to talk about.”

“Can Rafe come too?” He asked.

She considered and then nodded, “He probably already knows more than I do doesn’t he?”

Tobal nodded and chuckled, “I’ll tell him. We’ll see you later then.”

Together Tobal and Sarah found Melanie, Becca and Nikki and sat with them. They chatted and were telling stories about newbies. They were excited and impressed that Sarah was going to train a newbie in the middle of the winter. They watched as the newbies were initiated.

Later Tobal was introduced to each of the new initiates by Crow. Crow’s initiation had gone well and he had seen the Lord and Lady just as Tobal said he would. He was so excited and wanted to tell Tobal everything right in front of everyone. Tobal urged him to wait till later when they were alone and could talk more quietly and respectfully. Crow agreed, but Tobal could see he was extremely excited.

He tried to speak alone with Melanie and Becca but they were so busy chatting with the others that he gave up in frustration. He wanted to know the two girls better but always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He really enjoyed the few trips they had made to sanctuary together. It seemed with all the partnering going on he was feeling lonely and left out much of the time. It didn’t help that much of this was his own personal choice.

It was during the party and after the initiations that Tobal, Rafe, and Ellen got together and compared notes.

“I want to check it out myself,” Rafe was telling them both.

“It’s not a good time right now,” Ellen said. “The snow will make it easy to track you to the location and it will no longer be secret. The ice in the pool and the coldness of the water also make it very dangerous. Tobal was lucky he was able to find warm clothes and get a torch going for warmth. He might have died from hypothermia.”

“She’s right Rafe,” he said. “I was lucky to get out of there alive. I hate to think what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten that fire going.”

Ellen continued, “I’ve been keeping a patrol over that area looking for rogues every couple of days. What is interesting is there always seems to be fresh tracks in the area around the lake but I never see anyone. I am convinced they are looking for some secret location they know is there but can’t find. They are looking for the location you found Tobal.” She looked at him with a piercing stare. “There is something very important about that location. Are you sure you have told me everything?”

She tried to be polite, but both Tobal and Rafe knew she was serious and she knew they were withholding information from her. They looked at each other and Tobal shrugged uneasily.

“This gets weird.” He said a bit lamely.

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