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Archive for the ‘fantasy’ Category

Chapter 18

By the middle of December Tobal felt he had learned twice as much from Crow as he had learned from Rafe and was certain the boy could have soloed any time he wanted to.

He had also been practicing the drills and exercises Crow had instructed him in and was getting steady results. These exercises always stirred up deeply buried and repressed emotions from his past and troubled his dreams with threatening ghostly images. His dreams were vivid and violent. As he persisted with the exercises his dreaming self became more powerful and he was able to change the outcome of his dreams.

“The shaman must be able to travel in three worlds,” Crow told Tobal one evening in the middle of December. “There is the underworld that contains the land of the dead and creatures of the earth. There is the spirit world that is full of wondrous creatures of light and there is the real world.

The shaman must be able to travel in any of these worlds because he never knows where a missing soul part has been taken. The hardest and most difficult soul retrievals are when the missing pieces are taken to the land of the dead. Even the most experienced shaman fears this place and will only go there with a protector. The Lord and Lady are my protectors,” he said proudly. “They brought the spirits of my parents out from the land of the dead and allowed them to speak with me.”

“There is something missing in your aura Tobal,” he told him. “That is why you need a soul retrieval. A part of your soul is missing and needs to be brought back before you can become whole and happy.” Crow said, “You were right about no evil within the circle. The Lord and Lady protect it at all times. But they have told me they are growing weaker and able to protect clansmen as they once were. There is trouble coming soon and I will need to do another soul retrieval besides yours. They said it is very important that I be prepared.”

They did the soul retrieval for Tobal one night the week before circle. Crow made him lie down on the mat and then started drumming in the small teepee. That was all Tobal remembered because he fell asleep. When he awoke Crow was grinning at him and shaking him gently. He was holding a hollow bone in his hand.

“Tobal, wake up,” Crow was shaking him. “I have the missing part of your soul right here and am ready to give it back to you.” He continued, “You left it with someone and they don’t want it anymore. But you do need to give this person a gift in return. It is very important. Do you understand?”

Tobal nodded groggily as he was not yet awake. Then Crow put the hollow bone to his mouth and blew into Tobal’s face and on
his chest. A small dust like powder came out of the bone and covered him. He felt a wave of emotion and energy enter into his lungs and heart as tears of joy formed in his eyes. He didn’t know what had happened but something dead inside his heart was rekindled in a blaze of light and happiness. He wondered at the change in himself over the next couple days. He also wondered who and what Crow really
was.

Tobal noticed the medics flying around much more during the winter months as they kept closer tabs on everyone to see they were doing all right. When Tobal announced at circle that Crow was ready to solo many elders were concerned about his size and age. They almost didn’t allow it. It took the testimony of several medics to confirm the activities of Tobal and Crow during the past two months before the elders agreed. Tobal was shocked at the extent his activities had been monitored. He had suspected some monitoring but never suspected the true extent the medics monitored things. He was gladder than ever that he had not tried going back to the lake.

Anne, Derdre and Seth were proclaimed ready to solo. The elders were giving the same exhaustive grilling to each of them they had given Crow. In this bitter weather there were no second chances and accidents did happen. There had been one death this past month. A Journeyman had gotten caught in a snow slide and the medics had not been able to rescue him in time. Any type of solo activity was kept to an absolute minimum if possible. The medics especially kept a close eye on the newbies that were soloing during the winter months and encouraged everyone else to partner up and use the buddy system.

The Circle of Elders consisted of Masters and was voluntary. They determined if newbies were ready to solo and mediated any disputes among clansmen. They also awarded the chevrons to both Apprentices and to Journeymen.

Ellen had always served on it since Tobal had been there. It had been her support that decided the other elders in favor of letting Crow solo. Of course she knew Crow was Howling Wolf’s grandson from the village but she never mentioned it. Tobal made a special note that he needed to talk with Ellen later that night. He wanted to know if she had found out anything about the rogue attacks.

He saw Sarah bundled in her furs and walked over giving her a big hug and a kiss.

“How are things going?”he asked.

“I didn’t realize how cold it gets out here.” She grinned. “I don’t think I’ve really been warm since I left home. We spend a lot of time getting wood for the fire.”

“How is Ben doing?” He laughed. “He’s getting his initiation tonight right?”

“Oh, he’s really doing well,” she grinned excitedly. “He will be initiated tonight and train with me for another month. If he can solo in this weather, he can survive in anything. I think he will be ready to solo next month if he wants to.” Her face got serious. “I wouldn’t force him to solo in this weather if he didn’t want to. I wouldn’t force anyone to solo in weather like this. You have to be part crazy to enjoy being out in weather like this living off the land.”

“It gets easier the longer you are out here,” he comforted her. “Either that or we just get crazier the longer we are out here.” He chuckled, “Perhaps there is some of both.”

Tobal was really proud of how well Sarah had been doing with Ben. She had come a long way from the girl in the antique shop he had once known. She had strength and a confidence that made her very attractive. This had been good for her.

There was a howling wind with blowing snow and no one seemed in any hurry to get into his or her robes. Everyone kept wearing their furs and stayed huddled together close to the fires. Warm spiced drinks were even more popular than the beer was. There was a festive feeling in the air and people were in high spirits.

This was the Yule celebration and the celebration of new light into the earth and into the spirit. It marked the time when the days started getting longer and carried the promise of spring. It was half way through the winter season and by now a person knew if they were prepared for the winter or not. It was also a time of giving and sharing with others. Cabin fever often made the long winter months difficult and this halfway spot gave everyone relief. As many clansmen as possible tried making it into circle for the Yule celebration and the relief of having other people to talk to.

Zee, Kevin and Wayne’s newbies had each completed their solo and were being congratulated. That made two chevrons for Zee, Kevin and Wayne. He made a point to go over and congratulate them too. Soloing in the middle of the winter was not that easy. Many of the Apprentices still had some trouble just surviving and staying warm. This was Tobal’s first winter and he wasn’t finding it that easy himself. Or rather it wasn’t a simple walk in the park like summer had been.

In the winter you really had to work for food and firewood and you had to deal with the long nights cooped up in the teepee. Especially if you were by yourself. The loneliness was very hard to deal with.

Wayne had been Char’s teacher. Char came to Yule with her partner. He spent a little time chatting with them but Char was obviously not in a good mood and he soon gave it up and moved on.

The Yule celebration was to be an entire week of feasting and celebration. Since travel was so difficult most clan members elected to stay a few extra days and party. It had become the tradition. Hunters went out and brought enough food to keep the camp in meat. People brought dried herbs and vegetables they had saved for the communal stew pot.

Tobal had brought more honey as a special treat. Some of the medics had somehow managed to find flour and baking supplies. Bread was a welcome change in a diet that had so much meat during the winter time. They also brought frozen vegetables from somewhere that reminded everyone of the coming spring and lush vegetation.

The newbies that were going to solo were allowed to stay for the first and second day of events but then needed to leave. The first day of the celebration was like a normal Circle day with the initiations and drum circle in the evenings. The second day continued with a talent show in the afternoon and a special Yule Ritual and meditation in the evening. That was when Tobal planned on giving his gifts to his friends before Crow left on his solo.

The things Crow had told him about his parents kept going through his mind circling restlessly. Was it possible they really were alive after all these years? Could he train himself enough so they would be able to talk with him like they did to Crow? What about his uncle? Why had his uncle not told him these things?

Was it because of the classified nature of the project or didn’t he really know. It was pretty obvious his uncle didn’t believe anyone was still alive that worked with his parents or he would have agreed to let him go to Old Seattle in the first place.

What did they mean when his parents told Crow they were getting weaker? Were they dying? Is that why the rogue attacks seemed to be increasing? They needed to find the secret meeting place his parents used before they died?

Tobal hoped not. His uncle had said he had closed the program down. Why were his parents still captive?

Questions that just led to more questions and no real answers. They made his head spin. All he knew for sure was that Crow needed to talk with Ellen and Rafe before he left. He had better set a meeting up for tonight during the party. With that in mind he first turned to look for Rafe at the Beer barrel and brewery.

“You’ve got five chevrons now!” He slapped Dirk on the back and raised a foaming mug in salute. “Soon you are going to make medic and be riding one of those drafty air sleds all over the mountains saving our asses.”

“Next month,” Dirk grinned. “I’ve got it planned. Going to challenge someone I know I can beat. It’s a sure thing.”

“Are you really that sure of beating this person?”

Dirk grinned, “I hope so. I can use a change of life style. Kind of boring making beer all month except when I’m getting beat up. Hey, try some of this hot stuff Rafe and I cooked up. It’s like a spiced grog.” He handed Tobal a wooden bowl full of a hot liquid with floating things in it.

Tobal suspiciously sipped it, “That’s really good! I think I’ll have more when I finish this beer. It’s warm too! Just what I need right now. Where’s Rafe hanging out? I need to ask him something.”

“He’s in the brew house getting another batch of grog ready.”

“Thanks, I’ll go check on him.”

“There you are!” He called as he stepped inside the warm log building that served as a brewery. Rafe looked like a mad scientist hunched over a steaming bucket of grog he was stirring vigorously. He smiled as he looked up.

“Tobal! What brings you here? Are we out of grog? Did Dirk send you?”

“Not really,” he said. “I’m just trying to get together a meeting between you, Ellen, Crow and myself tonight after circle. I think it’s important and want to get it over with before Crow leaves on his solo. That makes tonight the best time.”

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Then and Now

Like a torn out tendril
I fell captive to the power of your storm,
Giving way like a weak plank
Under the waves of your passion.

But now I tower, an oak,
On which your storm breaks powerless,
And, like a rocky cliff, I do not yield
To the force of your waves.

-Mia Holm 1990
translated by Joe Bandel

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The traditional tarot deck has several divisions within it. Perhaps the most well known are the trump cards. There are twenty two trumps in the traditional deck. Each one represents a path or life experience that must be encountered on the mystical path back to “Source” or “God/dess”. They represent forces of destiny that are cosmic in nature and beyond human influence.

In the OAK:Tarot of Love and Romance deck the trump cards represent much more than this. They represent how we discover and integrate the masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us. They are symbolic images of the attainment of spiritual, psychological, emotional and mental health.

Said in another way these trumps symbolize how we gradually learn to love ourselves. This is vitally important because how can we love someone else if we can not love ourselves? First we love others because we find in them things we would like to find in ourselves but can’t. We feel those we love complete us. As we grow and mature we come to recognize those same characteristics in ourselves. This process of self discovery is what the Trumps are about.

The rest of the deck is divided into four suits. Traditionally these are Wands, Swords, Cups, and Pentacles. These four suits represent spirit, intellect, emotion, and physical life. They also represent mundane life experiences easily recognized and within our power to change.

In the OAK:Tarot of Love and Romance I’ve chosen to use Wands, Swords, Cups, and Pentacles respectively for the same purpose. In this deck we use each suit to explore Spiritual love, Platonic love, Emotional love and Physical love between the male and the female.

These four suits are known as the “Minor Arcana” and the trumps are known as the “Major Arcana”. The Minor Arcana are the tarot cards we most identify with and we will begin with the suit of Wands or Spiritual Love.

The four suits are further divided into Court Cards and number cards. The Court Cards represent personality types we might recognize. In tarot readings a Court card is usually chosen to represent the individual asking for a reading. You might recognize yourself in one of these Court cards or you might recognize parts of yourself in all of them!

Lastly the descriptions given in this book describe how a male might experience the card and how a female might experience the card. I’ve done this for stylistic purposes. For example, if I say a card represents a male placing a female upon a pedestal I am describing how one person in a relationship might place the other on a pedestal. I don’t mean only males place females upon pedestals. I’m simply trying to describe an energy dynamic that is taking place between two people involved in a love relationship and how each might respond.
OAK is Today’s Leader in Modern Survivalism

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Ellen was looking at him with a let’s get this over with expression. He considered and then gave in. Ellen was someone he trusted even if he didn’t know her that well. He had no reason to believe she would turn him in or cause him harm. She had already been very helpful to him.

“It’s all confused.” He began. “It involves my uncle who used to be the Federation Officer here. He was in charge of the classified work my parents were doing. It involves Sarah’s father who has a very strange shop in Old Seattle.

That’s not all,” he said resignedly. “It also involves Crow’s grandfather, a shaman named Howling Wolf from the local village and the mass murder of all the people living at the old gathering spot by the waterfall. These deaths include my own parents, Crow’s parents, Sarah’s mother and two brother’s that she doesn’t even know she has.”

“Damn,” Rafe whispered in stunned shock. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

Ellen gradually regained her own composure and echoed Rafe’s question, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“I’ve only just learned about some of it myself,” Tobal said. “I’m still training Crow and didn’t know he was Howling Wolf’s grandson until he told me.”

“Is there anything else you are not telling me,” Ellen persisted. “Do you have any proof what you are saying is true?”
Again Tobal and Rafe looked at each other. Tobal sighed and stood up. “You’d better follow me. We’ll go for a walk and I’ll show you.”

As they walked into the moonlit woods they retraced the steps back to where Tobal had demonstrated the wand to Rafe last month. He showed Ellen the same demonstration he had shown Rafe. There was pure silence as she touched the second hole in the boulder and looked at the steaming circle that seconds ago had been frozen and snow covered. With luck it would be frozen and snow covered again by morning if the wind kept up.

“Let’s go back,” was all she said. The snow crunched eerily under their boots as they made their way back to the fire circle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the wand before,” Tobal said nervously. “I wanted a chance to examine it first. Everything was so rushed and the rogues were tracing me somehow. Then last circle I tried to meet with you and wasn’t able to.” He stopped as she waved a weary hand to silence him.

“We can be pretty certain the rogues are able to monitor any of us that are wearing med-alert bracelets,” she said finally. “That’s why we never see any of them. They know we are coming and hide. We can also be pretty sure they are from the same mountain complex we use as our own base.”

Tobal and Rafe looked at each other in puzzlement. Ellen noticed and continued.

“Just like the Journeymen and the Apprentices, the Masters or medics have a secret meeting place. Ours is part of a mountain complex we thought belonged to the city. I am now thinking it is part of a classified Federation military operation of some type. We are only allowed access to the emergency room in the hospital and one wing where we have our own personal quarters and do rituals. I suppose it makes things much easier for them to keep an eye on us when we live right there with them.”

She looked at Rafe, “I’ve told Tobal this already. The area around the lake by the waterfall and several other locations including the village are forbidden and we have orders to prevent people from going there.”

“I didn’t realize Crow came from the other village,” she said. “That might complicate things if he ever decides to go back and visit.”

She put her hands on her temples rubbing them as if she had a massive migraine coming on. “Let’s just leave it like this for now,” she said at last. “We can talk about it later next month. I really need to think about what you have told me and shown me. This sounds like something very dangerous to be mixed up in.”

Rafe interrupted, “Can you mark on my map those other forbidden places? I might not be able to check them out but I would like to know where they are.”

Ellen stared intently at Rafe a few minutes and then nodded, “Most of them are not accessible on foot though so it won’t do you any good. Bring me your map and I will mark it later.”

“And you,” she turned to Tobal, “What are you planning to do with that device you found? Have you thought about that? It is not safe to have it around or to carry it with you.”

“I’d like to think about it for another month,” he said thoughtfully. “I know I can’t keep it after I’m a Journeyman because I won’t have a good place to hide it. I’ll let you know soon.”

The three of them had a lot on their minds as they broke up the meeting and went back to join the others at the drumming circle. Tobal felt thirsty and went looking for fresh brew and light conversation. Later he even joined in with the dancing although he kept his robe on. So did many of the others as the wind was chill and it was several degrees below zero.

He and Crow said their good-byes and left the circle early the next morning after the usual hugs and kisses to the girls. The days were getting shorter and there was only six hours of light for useful travel. As they snow shoed their way back to Tobal’s winter camp they talked about Crow’s initiation.

“They are worried about you”, Crow said to Tobal suddenly.

“Who is worried about me? What are you talking about.”
The Lord and Lady, they are worried about you. They say that you need a soul
retrieval. An important part of your soul is missing.

“What is a soul retrieval?”

“That is when a shaman goes on a soul journey and brings back a part of someone’s soul that has been missing or stolen. My grandfather trained me in the spirit journey method and I can do this for you. The Lord and Lady want me to do this for you. You will let me do this won’t you?” He implored looking searchingly at Tobal.

Tobal was a bit uncomfortable talking about things he didn’t understand. “I need to think about it ok? What else did the Lord and Lady have to say?”

Crow was very excited, “They told me to tell you they are still alive! They are very weak and not in good health but they are alive. They are trapped somewhere and can’t free themselves. They use the energy generated by the circle to communicate with us. Not many can see or hear them though. Usually it is only the High Priest and High Priestess that can see them or hear them.

“I have never heard them or felt them so strongly,” he told Tobal with tears in his eyes. “We do not have circle like this at our village. Our circle is different and they don’t come to us as strongly. They showed me my parents, Tobal. They let me speak with my parents.”

“But I thought your parents were dead,” Tobal asked slowly?

“They are in the Summerland,” Crow replied. It is where the spirit goes after the physical body dies. My parents are happy there but they miss my sister and me. They told me there is danger for all of us coming soon and we must be prepared. The Lord and the Lady will help us if they can but we must learn how to talk to them and listen to what they have to say. I need to teach you and your friends the ways of the shaman so you are ready when the time comes.”

Tobal didn’t know what to say. The thought that his parents might still be alive stunned him as did the thought that Crow was able to carry on conversations not only with the Lord and Lady but with Crow’s own dead parents as well. He felt them now, the Lord and Lady, at the back of his mind urging him to believe. Oh, how he wanted to believe but did he dare? These thoughts troubled him as they made their journey home through the bitter cold and snow.

He spent the second month with Crow gaining advanced knowledge in the art of survival and craftsmanship. Crow had grown up in a community that lived a primitive life close to nature. His training had went beyond simple survival into quality of life areas such as art and decorative clothing and functional tools such as hand axes made of flint with razor edges and the knowledge of how to sharpen them. There were fun things too such as games, drums, whistles, flutes and other items carved from wood.

In the evenings he worked on the small carvings he intended to give to his friends at Yule. He also very much improved the look of his wardrobe seeking to match the stylish clothing Crow created so easily from the leathers and furs they had caught over the past two months.

Mostly though, in the evening he listened to the stories of the old ones and of the Lord and Lady of the Oak. Crow said the Lord and Lady talked to him at times during circle at his village. They taught him things and protected him in the wilderness. He said they also talked with his grandfather. His grandfather knew they were still alive but it was not time to free them yet.

Tobal asked questions and tried to make sense of as much of it as he could. Crow offered to teach him special meditations that would prepare him for the time when the Lord and Lady would talk with him also. Tobal accepted gladly and each night they would practice meditating and other shaman practices Crow felt were important.

“The soul has many parts.” Crow told him one evening. “There is a physical part, an emotional part, a mental part, and a spiritual part. Each of these parts must be strong and complete and full of energy before the soul can travel.

Howling Wolf, my grandfather, developed all the parts of his soul until he was filled solid and completely like a crystal. His soul was so hard and packed with energy it filled his physical body until it too could travel and he could be in two places at the same time. The Lord and Lady called this bi-location and wanted to learn it from grandfather.

Grandfather told them it was an ancient mystery of the shaman since the dawn of time. Grandfather knew about the sanctuary training program that your parents created and he approved of it. He said it helped to develop the physical and emotional parts of the soul but not the mental or spiritual parts of the soul. He told your parents the soul could not travel until all of the parts were completed and filled with energy. That was why things were not working right for your parents in their research.

Grandfather offered to teach them the ways of the shaman to build the mental and spiritual parts of the soul and they accepted. He came to them in secret and taught several of them in a secret meeting place near the lake. Soon the Lord and Lady were more powerful than Howling Wolf. They were scientists and discovered ways to use machines to force even more energy into the soul and physical body than ever before.”

Crow continued his story as Tobal listened in fascination.” Grandfather had only been able to bi-locate or spirit travel to the point where he could be in two places at once. His spirit body that traveled was made of energy so tightly packed and compressed that it could be seen and felt like a physical body. It was a physical body made completely of energy. When he traveled he used this physical body of energy and left his normal physical body at home sleeping.

“The Lord and Lady used machines to develop this process to the point where the actual physical body would disappear and appear some other place. Later at the secret meeting place they were able to take others with them on journeys to strange and wonderful places and bring things back with them.

“Grandfather says he still goes on journeys to some of those places he visited with the Lord and Lady. He has taken my sister to some of those places too but it is very secret and he says I am too young to go on such journeys yet.

Now my sister goes on journeys by herself without grandfather and he worries about her because the journeys are dangerous. He says my parents and the others at the lake were killed because they knew these things and that if the evil ones knew about us they would try to kill us as well.”

“There is a mighty secret hidden in the cave at the lake,” he said seriously to Tobal. “I can find it but you must explain it to me. That is what grandfather told me. We can go now if you want.”

“We can’t go now,” Tobal told him gently and pointed to the med-alert bracelets they both were wearing. “These bracelets let the medics and the evil ones know where we are at all times and we can’t take them off. If we take them off the medics will come looking to see what is wrong. If we don’t wear them we can’t become citizens of Heliopolis. You remember that is what your grandfather wanted you to do?” He asked.

“That area by the lake is forbidden and they don’t want us to go there. It is because of the great secret you are telling about.” He told Crow about his experience with the air sleds during his visit of the abandoned gathering spot the first time.

When he told Crow about his second visit the boy’s eyes looked like burning coals as Tobal described the cave and the altar.

“I have heard of such a cave myself,” he said. “My grandfather goes to a cave much like the one you have described. But it is a secret and he has not told me its location. I am not old enough he says, although my sister has gone and she described it to me. It has the same symbol you speak of above the altar itself. Perhaps it is the same cave?”

“I don’t think so,” Tobal replied. “When I was in the cave it looked like no one had been there for many years.”

“Will you take me to see the grave of my parents?” Crow asked Tobal suddenly.

“I have wanted to go back many times myself,” he said to Crow, ” but I am afraid it will not work in the winter time. I’ve spoken much about this with my friend Rafe and Ellen. They both believe it is very dangerous and we must wait until we are medics and have our own air sleds. Then we can work together and protect each other if needed. I also think this is the best plan. Any other way seems too dangerous and likely that we will get caught. It is especially dangerous in the wintertime when the snow will give away our location and leave tracks. I will mark it on your map though so you know where it is.”

“Then let’s become medics,” Crow said determinedly. “Let’s learn the mysteries and ways of the evil ones so that we may defeat them.”

Tobal chuckled, “So we will, so we will. But now it’s time to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day.”

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Dead Senses

The first pain of life came,
During Spring’s power, full of longing,
Taking my sense of joy, peace, laughter;
Giving me nothing but hot tears.

The second pain of life came,
Sinking powerfully down inside me,
Taking my longing, hot passion, tears,
Giving me all my laughter again.

My heart cold like a block of ice,
And my laughter like the winter sun,
My delights without depth,
My joys without love.

The power of fate, came like lightning!
Striking my dead senses,
So that from burning eyes once more,
Runs a single tear.

-Mia Holm 1900
translated by Joe Bandel

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Chapter 17

Zee and Kevin were planning on spending the winter together. Their newbies were soloing and being kicked out of the nest. They would probably end up partnering with one of the other newly soloed Apprentices. No one really liked spending the long winter months alone if they could help it. It was an added bonus if romance was involved too. Still, spending the winter with a romantic partner had it’s own drawbacks and many such partnerships did not last till spring. Still not very many wanted to train during the winter either. Perhaps the most common was partnering with friends or newbies during the winter.

The next place he headed was over to the beer barrel for some brew. Butch and Mike were talking with Rafe.

“Mike and I were thinking about holing up for the rest of the winter but we really don’t know where the best place is,” Butch was saying. “We have a few places we want to check out. Someone already claimed the one we were planning to use. They chased us out of there, let me tell you.” He laughed.

“Hey you guys can live in my old base camp for the winter if you want to,” Rafe said. “I’m not living there anymore and spending most of my time either at circle or the Journeyman camp. I have most of my things out of there that I need.”

“Are you sure?” Mike asked eagerly. Rafe was legendary and his camp must be a pretty sweet setup where ever it was.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “Consider it yours. Does either of you know where it is? I didn’t think so. Bring a map and I’ll mark it for you. If you have any trouble finding it Tobal or one of the girls can help you.”

He looked at Tobal and grinned.

“I’m just giving away my campsite to these guys,” he grinned mischievously. “That is if they can find it. The Journeyman degree is so different I don’t need a base camp for the winter.”

“We’ll check it out first thing Rafe,” Butch grinned back. “We’ll find it if it takes us all week.” Then he and Mike left toward the circle with their fresh brews in their hands.

Tobal nodded at Dirk.

“You guys working here now?”

“Yes,” Dirk grinned evilly. “We’re the beer meisters now.”

“What’s that mean?” Tobal asked cautiously.

“We were taken off wood duty and now we make sure no one runs out of beer.

Rafe interrupted, “See this beer,” he held up a foamy mug of beer. “This beer is four months old. Beer tastes best when it is four months old. The beer we make won’t be ready until March or April sometime.” He grinned evilly.

“That means we can experiment with the recipe a bit and have some fun with it.”
Dirk added, “We’ve got to brew the beer and keep it from freezing so we will be spending the next two months right here. We go through three or four barrels every month at circle. Last month we went through twelve because there were three days of feasting. That used up our reserves.”

“That means we’ve got to work harder than ever,” Rafe said gloomily. Then he brightened up, “That’s why we are going to have some fun with this. I’ve already got some special ingredients in mind.”

Tobal knew there were times when the beer had been absolutely nasty and undrinkable. “I hope you don’t make some of that real nasty stuff that gives people the runs like it did last July.”

Rafe grinned. “We aren’t planning to be around to be drinking it. We should both be getting our Masters initiation by then. I hear the medics have some real good stuff and they even make some brandy.”

“You’re not serious?” Tobal gasped in horror at the thought. You wouldn’t do that to us would you?” He pleaded with them. Rafe and Dirk were laughing hard now.

“You wait and see,” was all either of them would say.

They talked more about the art of brewing beer in the wilderness. The real issue was getting enough sugar to ferment into alcohol. The sugar content came from boiling maple syrup down into maple sugar in the spring. There were only about three weeks when the sap really flowed and the entire Journeyman community helped in boiling it down.

It was not uncommon to see air sleds carrying buckets of maple sap. The medics even provided plastic buckets with lids from used hospital supplies to be used for barrels and also provided the yeast. The other ingredients were left up to the imagination of the brewmiester although the basic recipe was expected to be followed fairly closely. The maple syrup was kept in the same location as the beer and not allowed to freeze.

Tobal shuddered to think of what those two would come up with. Best to enjoy the beer they were serving today which was rich and tasty. He told Rafe he would talk with him sometime later after circle and they could both meet with Ellen to see what she had found out about the rogue attacks. Then he went off looking for the others.

There was no sign of Tara and Nick. Tobal guessed they were snowed in and making the best of it. The weather was bitter cold and the three day travel to circle was something only the brave or desperate would willingly tackle. Tobal came because it was his social connection to the others, a time to forget his own troubles, celebrate and have some fun with others.

He found Sarah over by the cooking pits slicing off choice pieces of roast and getting some stew. The stew was the main way the clan had vegetables in the winter and everyone contributed from their own stores.

His own stomach started to rumble. “Is the stew any good?”

She glanced at him, “Oh, hi Tobal. Yes, the stew and roast is excellent. Grab a bowl.”

Tobal grabbed one of the large wooden bowls that were stacked nearby and went over to the roast first. He cut several chunks of meat off the roast and filled to bowl to the top with stew. Then he grabbed a wooden spoon and tasted it. She was right. It was delicious.

“Did you get your winter camp setup all right?” He asked her between spoonfuls.

“Butch and Mike helped me get things together and it’s really great! I’m so glad they were able to help because it was a lot of work. Did you hear they are going to get Rafe’s old base camp?”

“Yes, I heard they were going to check it out anyway,” he chuckled, “That is if they can find it. Rafe’s camp is hard to find.”

“I know, that’s what I told them too,” she said. “I had a hard time finding Rafe’s camp the first time I was there. You remember don’t you? It was when I was training with you and we needed to go there and get your old winter supplies. We went together.”

“Oh, that’s right,” he smiled sheepishly. “I must be getting old. I completely forgot about that. We did have some fun and some good times. I bet you miss your father though.”

“It’s kind of surprising but I really don’t miss him that much. In fact there are times I feel he is right here checking up on me. It’s like I can see him with my mind’s eye. I know he’s not really there but part of him is and it helps me.” She started crying and Tobal put his arms around her and comforted her. Finally she stopped and wiped her eyes and nose.

“Sorry about that,” she sniffled. “I guess I miss him more than I thought I did.”

“That’s alright,” he said. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He changed the subject, “Now that your base camp is ready are you going to partner up for the winter?”

“Actually,” she said, “I’m going to try for my first newbie and see how it goes.”

“Really?”

Tobal was both surprised and pleased that she would try her first newbie during the hardest time of the year. She did have a nice base camp though and plenty of game in the area. She also had enough furs to get her newbie protected from the elements until they could manufacture their own.

“That’s great!” He gave her a big hug and a kiss. “Let me know if you need anything.”

She said she would and they finished their meal chatting about other things. She was happy and in much better health than she had been at the store. Tobal could tell she was thriving out here being around people her own age.

Together they washed the bowls and spoons so others could use them and went over to change into robes for circle.

The line was forming for entrance. Misty and the High Priest were casting the circle. Ellen was standing as a guard at the circle’s entrance. She motioned for Tobal to come closer.

“Meet me after circle,” she said. “We’ve got some things we need to talk about.”

“Can Rafe come too?” He asked.

She considered and then nodded, “He probably already knows more than I do doesn’t he?”

Tobal nodded and chuckled, “I’ll tell him. We’ll see you later then.”

Together Tobal and Sarah found Melanie, Becca and Nikki and sat with them. They chatted and were telling stories about newbies. They were excited and impressed that Sarah was going to train a newbie in the middle of the winter. They watched as the newbies were initiated.

Later Tobal was introduced to each of the new initiates by Crow. Crow’s initiation had gone well and he had seen the Lord and Lady just as Tobal said he would. He was so excited and wanted to tell Tobal everything right in front of everyone. Tobal urged him to wait till later when they were alone and could talk more quietly and respectfully. Crow agreed, but Tobal could see he was extremely excited.

He tried to speak alone with Melanie and Becca but they were so busy chatting with the others that he gave up in frustration. He wanted to know the two girls better but always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He really enjoyed the few trips they had made to sanctuary together. It seemed with all the partnering going on he was feeling lonely and left out much of the time. It didn’t help that much of this was his own personal choice.

It was during the party and after the initiations that Tobal, Rafe, and Ellen got together and compared notes.

“I want to check it out myself,” Rafe was telling them both.

“It’s not a good time right now,” Ellen said. “The snow will make it easy to track you to the location and it will no longer be secret. The ice in the pool and the coldness of the water also make it very dangerous. Tobal was lucky he was able to find warm clothes and get a torch going for warmth. He might have died from hypothermia.”

“She’s right Rafe,” he said. “I was lucky to get out of there alive. I hate to think what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten that fire going.”

Ellen continued, “I’ve been keeping a patrol over that area looking for rogues every couple of days. What is interesting is there always seems to be fresh tracks in the area around the lake but I never see anyone. I am convinced they are looking for some secret location they know is there but can’t find. They are looking for the location you found Tobal.” She looked at him with a piercing stare. “There is something very important about that location. Are you sure you have told me everything?”

She tried to be polite, but both Tobal and Rafe knew she was serious and she knew they were withholding information from her. They looked at each other and Tobal shrugged uneasily.

“This gets weird.” He said a bit lamely.

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The Mirror

Like a mirror, clear and shiny,
Was my heart in its happiness,
Reflecting in bright rays of love,
Your beautiful image back to me.

Yet you struck this mirror,
In anger, a deceptive man.
With that your image was broken,
And a thousand grimaces I see.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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Tobal agreed and to his great surprise Crow headed cross country toward his camp over terrain he had never been through. Crow seemed completely at ease in the rough terrain and several times showed him danger spots he had not noticed. Once Crow kept him from breaking through the ice as they crossed a small ice covered stream.

Since Tobal was not familiar with winter weather his goal was to simply head to his base camp as quickly as possible where he knew it was safe and there was extra food. He didn’t even bother setting snares or looking for food other than what they stumbled across accidentally. They relied exclusively on the food reserves he had brought with him and the frozen food cubes taken from sanctuary.

Firewood was the biggest trouble and they found themselves breaking dead branches off trees and placing them on the sled as they traveled through the day. In this way they had much of their wood when it was time to set up camp in the evening. Camping was greatly simplified and they simply dug trenches into the deep snow drifts in a “v” shape and covered the roof area with branches and the blanket material.

The snow drifts made excellent insulation from the wind. Each leg of the trench was a sleeping area and at the place where the trenches joined they built a small fire using the firewood they had gathered during the day. They also used this fire to melt water and refill their canteens.

They made their way back to Tobal’s base camp by the evening of the fourth day. Tobal had expected it to take five days and was amazed when Crow actually found it. The kid really knew his way around the wilderness.

It felt good to be in a permanent shelter again that was actually warm. It seemed a luxury to heat water for a much needed sponge bath and change of clothes. The next few days were spent just getting things around the camp into good repair and hauling in firewood for the coming week.

Crow was very curious about the tools Tobal had made and spoke of things he had seen his grandfather make. Crow was a quiet boy that didn’t talk much, but once you got him going he could tell stories for hours. His parents had died while he was young and he didn’t know much about them. He had been raised by his grandfather in the mountains and taught the old ways. His grandfather was a powerful shaman and healer others came to see when they were injured or seeking his wisdom. Crow hadn’t really wanted to come here but his grandfather had insisted.

“Why?” Tobal asked with curiosity.

“He wants me to become a citizen of Heliopolis,” Crow said. “It is also time for me to solo. In my village we can solo at fourteen. It is when we are considered adults.”

“Wait a minute! I’m getting confused. Are you telling me you are already able to solo?”

“My Grandfather says I am.”

“Why don’t you solo in your own village?”

“To become a citizen I need to solo here and have training with you.”

“But you said you were already trained,” Tobal said in a perplexed tone.

“There are some things only the son of Ron and Rachael Kane can teach me. That is what my Grandfather told me. He said you are my next teacher, which is why I am here. Perhaps things like the map reading,” he suggested helpfully.

Tobal was getting baffled and somewhat alarmed at the repeated mention of his parents. He had no clue what he was supposed to be teaching Crow if he already knew enough to solo.

“Where is your pack and equipment then if you are ready to solo?” He asked. “You didn’t have any gear when I saw you at sanctuary?”

“In my village we are only allowed clothing we have made ourselves, a water flask and a knife.” Crow said, “when I went through processing the machine took all of my things.”

Tobal thought back to what Crow had been wearing. He remembered seeing him sitting on a cot with a fur Robe wrapped around him in the dark room. He hadn’t really seen the rest of what the boy had been wearing and for some reason hadn’t thought too much about the fur robe because he had been wearing furs himself.

“What is the name of your village?”

“It has no name,” Crow said, “We just call ourselves People of the Oak. The oak tree is sacred to us. There are many oak trees near our village.”

“Where is your village located?”

“It lies ten days march toward the setting sun.” Crow pointed to the West. “It took me longer to get here because of the weather.”

“I have heard of such a village,” Tobal said slowly. “It is said there are many children and many elders. It is also said many of the elders once came to our gathering spot and shared circle with us.”

“That is not true!” Crow stomped his foot in anger. “Our elders worshiped at the Lake with the Lord and Lady of the Oak. We did not share circle with the evil ones ever! I do not want to join your clan and learn its evil ways but my grandfather says I must. He said the time is right and you will need help in fighting the evil. He also says you need to hear the stories of the Lord and Lady and need to know they speak with me.”

“They speak with you?” Tobal said stunned.

“Yes, at circle and in my visions they come and guide me. I ask them for help and they protect me.”

“The Lord and Lady come to me at circle too,” he told Crow. “We ask their blessings. I see them within the circle and at times above the fire, but they don’t talk to me.”

“Grandfather says the Lord and Lady were once people just like we are,” Crow babbled excitedly. “He says he knew them once. He knew them when they lived at the lake. He even says he hand-fasted them together. Grandfather is a powerful shaman and a good friend of the Lord and Lady. My parents were good friends of them too.” Crow fought back some tears. “My mother and father went with the Lord and Lady and never came back. The Lord and Lady came back but my parents never did. Grandfather said you would tell me why.” He looked at Tobal expectantly.

It was too much. It was just too much! Visions of the Lord and Lady at circle swept through his mind…they couldn’t be his parents, they were the God and Goddess. They were there before he was. He thought of the mass grave down at the lake and the cairn of stones piled high around a large dead oak tree. He thought of Crow’s parents and Howling Wolf who had hand-fasted his parents together. His head felt like it was going to split. He pressed his fingers against his temples rubbing furiously.

“I don’t know yet,” was all he could say. “I don’t know yet but I’m going to find out somehow.”

His gaze met and locked with Crow’s.

“We will find out together,” he said. “I am going to need your help and learn the old stories. Together we will find out about your parents and about my parents and what happened to them.”

Crow rushed over and hugged him fiercely.

“You promise?” He asked.

“I promise.”

The days turned bitter cold and it seemed like they were out in the snow every day doing something. On the worst days they stayed inside. It was sheltered in Tobal’s little valley but there was a lot of snow on the ground. The only way to travel was with snow shoes and pulling a supply sled.

They spent the days trapping and hunting and the evenings working on winter equipment and telling stories. Tobal was amazed at Crow’s abilities. In addition to beaver and muskrat Crow routinely trapped mink, fox and wolf. He kept the hides from every snowshoe hare and was making a rabbit blanket.

He said it would take a long time because he needed fifty rabbit hides for the blanket. But he told Tobal a rabbit blanket would be extremely light and extremely warm. They were considered a luxury to have back in his village.

Crow also snared partridge and kept the wing and tail feathers. Once he trapped an owl and was ecstatic all week over the good omen. He used these feathers to create ornaments and jewelry. Crow was highly skilled at leather working and created functional and decorative winter clothing Tobal envied. As the days wore on it seemed Tobal was the student and not Crow.

Tobal had learned the basics but Crow had grown up in a culture that had gone far beyond the art of simple survival and had turned these skills into an art form. Tobal was fascinated and asked many questions. Together they worked on projects Tobal had never even thought about doing.

Still thoughts of his parents were never far away. He wished he knew more.

It was time for Crow’s initiation in late November and Tobal was thinking about it as they snow shoed their way to the gathering spot. Perhaps he had been initiated and soloed at his own village he mused thoughtfully, not that it mattered. Gaining citizenship meant going through sanctuary and no other way. As they trekked to circle Tobal explained about joining the clan and being initiated into the circle. Crow still wasn’t certain he wanted to become part of the “evil” ones clan.

“There is no ‘evil’ in the clan or the circle.” Tobal kept telling him. “The Lord and Lady appear during the rituals and ceremonies so it can’t be bad. Everyone at the gathering place is young and could not have been part of what killed your parents. Many of them were not even been born yet.”

Crow remained suspicious and untrusting. In the end it was the mention of the Lord and Lady being present during the initiations that convinced Crow to finally go through with it and join the group.

“If they are not there, I will not go through with it,” he said simply.

Tobal shrugged, there was not much more to say on the matter.

Tobal filled Crow in on what to expect during his entry into the clan itself. He didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Melanie and he didn’t know the true extent of Crow’s abilities yet. He only knew that Crow was better than he was in survival and he suspected Crow knew quite a bit about taking care of himself self defense wise. He had a feeling that small or not. Crow was not going to be in the Journeyman degree over a year. His hard time was going to be training six newbies to solo simply because it would take up so much time and be boring to him.

They had to snowshoe avoiding areas of possible snow slides and avalanches. Winter travel was certainly different than what he had become accustomed to and carried its own unique dangers. Again more than once Crow showed him dangerous areas and explained how to avoid them in the future. Tobal felt grateful, but he also felt like the student and not the teacher.

It felt good to be going back to circle and he was looking forward to spending time with his friends. After leaving Crow with the guards he made his way into the gathering spot looking for people he knew and chatting with them. The first thing he headed for was the Circle of Elders to see what was happening that month. He saw Ellen there and waved at her. She smiled and waved back. He knew he would have to talk with her later that evening.

At circle Zee’s newbie, Kevin’s newbie, and Wayne’s newbie and two others were at last allowed to solo after a grueling examination by the elders. All of their winter clothing was examined and they needed to have snowshoes, a sled and a two weeks supply of jerky they had made themselves. For the first time they were asked about what they planned to do during their solo month. They were told medics would be checking on them and if they needed help they could signal the medics. One last final warning about frostbite and the elders were done.

Char’s newbie, Rory had soloed and she received her first chevron. Tobal noticed she had also brought a newbie for initiation. It was pretty clear they were planning on spending the winter together without Wayne. Her newbie was a pleasant faced blond girl that seemed a little shy around everyone and didn’t talk much. She seemed friendly enough and Tobal didn’t think Wayne should mind too much.

Besides Crow, Melanie’s newbie, Anne; Becca’s newbie, Derdre; and Nikki’s newbie, Seth were all going to be initiated that night. They would be spending at least the next month in training. They were all being prepared for their initiations. Tobal planned on being introduced to each of them later in the evening. As they waited Nikki got her second chevron and was now tied with Becca and Melanie. It was obvious these three women were more competitive than average.

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Forest Passage

What the forest whispered to me today,
I can tell no one.
What I heard with bliss,
I must bear silently.

Carry a still heart back home,
Each step flowing,
What in me was confused and fuzzy,
Now lies clear, in the light.

My cleverness was ridiculous,
Trembling, I sank down.
I went into the forest without God,
I returned again with Him.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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Two United

Now darkness and stillness are all around,
Now silence is everywhere,
Only the clock ticks softly,
And your heart beats peacefully.

The flame of our love,
lies quiet and clear as the stars.
A wonderful tranquility drifts
Across from you to me.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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