Anarchistbanjo's World

When was the last time you really believed in something and were excited about it? How long did it last? Do you still believe in it or was it a passing fancy?

Do you believe in the still small voice of conscience that speaks within your heart? Do you really listen to it or just ignore it? We have good intentions but we are torn between the desires of our physical body and our soul. Society has made us feel unworthy to have the things that we desire. We have high expectations of ourselves but keep falling short. We don’t want to sin but we still do. Every day we do things over and over again that we are ashamed of and that make us feel bad about ourselves.

Heavy feelings of guilt and self-loathing are encountered at this level of thought. A powerful force digs up our deepest subconscious psychic contents and exposes them openly to us. We are brought face-to-face with every word we ever regretted, every thought we are ashamed of. We feel as if we are little more than animals blindly reacting to physical and emotional stimuli. We are brought face-to-face with the mirror of our soul. We don’t care if God forgives us because we can’t forgive ourselves.

This is a very difficult time and many flee in terror at what they see in the mirror. They spend the rest of their lives in misery, guilt and shame, hating themselves and dreading the day they must face their final reward. This is the crisis point where one confronts the dweller on the threshold. This is the point where we must choose whether to identify ourselves with our physical body or with our immortal soul.

Once we have crossed this point our lives are changed. We no longer identify with our physical body. Instead we identify with our soul which lives on after the death of our physical body. This is a tremendous change in perspective and is called being born again!

Our conscience is erupting and when we are ready to listen huge changes take place within our lives.

There is a mental shift where life becomes a test and trial that is necessary to pass before we can look at ourselves in the mirror and like what we see. Every day we try to follow the still small voice of our conscience and forgive ourselves when we fail. As we continue to follow the still small voice of our conscience we grow spiritually. It becomes easier and there is a great joy that is mixed with a terrible loneliness that is bittersweet. We want others to experience the joy that we experience. It is hard to accept that others may not agree with us. We are forever alone with a unique personal perspective upon a path meant only for us.

When we try to share this path and perspective we can’t and this realization is devastating. The things that are so important to us simply do not matter to others. They laugh and ridicule us. Still this loneliness is the result of distorted thinking. We are never really alone because the entire universe is always a part of us and we are a vital part of it.

Others don’t need to follow our path. They need to follow their path. Our realization and experience of being “born again” causes us to weep for the loneliness and suffering of humanity. So much misery does not need to exist. People don’t understand what joy and peace they are missing. This is where we develop compassion in our hearts for others. As we share our message and interact with others we become less lonely.

Our sharing becomes more mental as the material world becomes less important. Slowly mental and spiritual concepts gain strength and reality over our lives. We live through conscious intent and will power instead of passing fancy. As this happens the emotions lose their control over our lives. We gain control over them and repress them until they are almost nonexistent. As this happens we depend more and more upon reason and logic

This is a very painful time. We sense the coming death of the emotions. Life is no longer as fun as it once was. We have lost our “inner child”. Life without emotions is no longer life.

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