Anarchistbanjo's World

This is going to be a long post but I’m really tired of the BS and want to put closure on it. I will still need another post but I’m trying to wrap this up. Most of my posts and Organic Gnosticism material go back over twenty years to a time when I thought that I really had something important to share with others. Since then I realized that my personal path belongs only to me and that each person must find their own path and that personal effort is the only thing that is important for healing and soul growth. Then, later, I realized just how messed up and insane our world really is and that our society was already infected with toxic beliefs and was being brainwashed. I realized that Organic Gnosticism could offer antidotes to the toxins that already infected us so I decided to keep sharing this material. I’ve done it for years now, posting all over the place with rarely any comments or feedback of any kind. You can only push a chain down the road so far and while I will still be sharing and posting from time to time the Organic Gnosticism material is essentially completed. Make of it what you will.

The symbolic overlay of any tradition or spiritual or magickal path, its rituals, ceremonies, beliefs, are all deliberate distractions, distortions and ways to hide what is really important which is the mental, emotional and spiritual healing and completion of the soul. Most people can’t see the forest for the trees. They are caught up in glamour and illusion.

We are all damaged and broken and most of us come from dysfunctional families. I had a nervous breakdown when I was nineteen and my entire world fell apart. My heart broke and I could no longer feel my emotions. But my Rosicrucian studies, prayer and meditation propelled me upon an spiritual and mystical path that allowed me to exist and function within a secondary personality, one that was more healthy than the one I left behind. Secondary personalities are created because the ego or sense of self is too weak to survive on its own. Most secondary personalities are considered toxic and it is only beginning to be recognized the importance that healthy secondary personalities play in the healing of the soul and psyche.

I became a Rosicrucian with healthy and stable lessons to learn even though I had lost contact with my emotions and was living in my head. Our entire society is living in their heads! The magician makes use of the assumption of god forms for the same purpose. This is the deliberate creation of a secondary magickal personality that grows stronger and stronger until it replaces the wounded self. In time the secondary personality will heal and absorb the original personality and become one. . .

In alchemy the killing of the lion and bringing it back to life again is the same thing. The shaman cutting their body into thousands of pieces and then putting it back together again is another way of saying the same thing. Have a nervous breakdown and through a healing process become whole again! Kill the emotions and passions until you are living in your head and then bring the emotions and passions back to life again.

The mystical path is living in your head and the magickal path is coming back to live in the real world. Both paths must be traveled before one can become whole.

So I was living in my head and filling my head with all this BS. Finally, back in 1991 I crossed the Great Abyss in an effort of spiritual suicide in which I desired with all of my being to extinguish myself in SOURCE. Problem was that I couldn’t stay there! When you are at the state of Unity there is nothing and there is no place to go except back down! Unity and nothing are basically the same thing. There is nothing else and it is an abomination. Even SOURCE divided him/her self to rediscover who he/she really was!

The downward plunge back to reality was the magickal path. How to bring the lion back to life, find the scattered pieces of my soul and put them back together again. The was the confronting the black shit of my life, all those things I had denied or avoided in my mystical pursuit. In alchemy it is called the corruption phase, death and decay. Its when you learn to transmute black shit and poisons into medicines and elixers. Its when you deal with things and it is not pleasant at all.

Scientology and Book I Dianetics processing were powerful ways of going back on the time line and bringing those trapped and repressed emotions and pain into conscious awareness. So was going to Alanon meetings and other support groups. When I shared my story I was simply sharing everyone else’s story. The Viscott Method was another way of helping me find where I was not being truthful to myself. I would record myself answering questions and then listen back to the tape to find where my voice was cracking or I was being evasive with myself. I saw a psychologist every week to keep tabs on my progress to make sure that I was not going crazy. I was not going crazy, I was healing!

That secondary personality had integrated and brought back to life my old original personality that had been dead for many years. Even though I was forty years old I was experiencing the emotions of a nineteen year old because that is where my emotional development had stopped. I had a lot of catching up to do.