Anarchistbanjo's World

I’ve mentioned how my weekly Rosicrucian monograph studies were the backbone of my newly created and developing personality as I continued on my spiritual journey. Some could say that I had destroyed the false ego or self and discovered my true Ego or Self, but it was really a secondary personality that was simply more healthy than my original one. One day I would need to return to that original ego and self and bring it back to life, bring the lion back to life. But that was to be many years into the future.

There were many important milestones in my Rosicrucian studies and one time during a self initiation an ascended master appeared in my living room. This person was dressed in his ceremonial robes, sitting cross legged and floating in the air about waist high. He radiated a powerful sense of peace and authority and gave me the sense that I had done very well upon my path. I was amazed and carefully walked completely around him, observing from all directions and making sure that the apparition was real. It remained visible for over an hour and the residual energy and power remained for several hours after it was gone.

At the time I didn’t realize that this ascended master was Hanns Heinz Ewers, the person I was in my immediate past life. Our past lives have curious lives of their own and exist within us and outside of us at the same time. Perhaps the correct way to say this is that the entirety of our soul can’t be contained in just one lifetime or one individual. There is simply too much in life for one personality to experience it all. This ascended master appeared several different times in those early years at important stages of my personal development. He gave me important support and encouragement when it was most needed. Over the years we have seemed to merge as one.

I spent six months in West Germany as a college exchange student and they were the happiest days of my life! I felt that I was truly home and belonged there. So many miracles happened in my life during that time that I can’t write about them. It was very healing for my fractured soul and much needed. Just to give some trivial examples I was born on 24 April. My seat on the airplane to West Germany was #24 and it was also #24 on the flight back to the United States. I stayed in room #24 at the hotel for the entire six months. I celebrated my golden 24th birthday high in the Austrian alps in the spring of 1980 in a log cabin above the timberline. That log cabin was over 200 years old. I had never been on a mountain before.

For the first time in my life the people loved me and made me feel welcome and at home. I went to West Germany with $200 in my pocket and came home with $200 in my pocket. We had prepaid and the dollar was doing so well that we got a weekly allowance that was just enough to help me survive until I received my income tax refund. I also managed to get a part time job as an English teacher at the local Inlingua language school. I had many friends that showed me many of the wonders of their culture and their country.

When I returned to the United States I was a new person. I gave both my parents a hug when they met me at the airport and it was the first time I had ever hugged my father. He turned stiff as a statue and didn’t know what to make it or how to respond. I’m glad to share that my father is still alive and now returns hugs from others. Life has a way of teaching us what is important.

Full of confidence and naivety I determined that I was going to pursue a career in astrology and personalized self help hypnosis tapes even though I had never really done any of that work seriously or for others. In the meantime I supported myself by working for Service Master, the professional cleaning company. I put an ad in The Mother Earth News magazine and waited for the orders to come rolling in. I only got two responses.

The first was from a man that was having much trouble in love relationships and wanted to know why. I was offering a twenty page astrology report years before computers. I had to do it all by hand. As I cast the chart for this young man and dove into it I was horrified at all the challenges and obstacles this person was confronting. I felt that it was too invasive and that I had no business knowing what I was learning about this person. I vowed to never again do a horoscope for another person for money. I did a partial report and returned his money.

The other response was from a woman that would later become my wife and mother of my four children. We corresponded for over one year and convinced ourselves that we were madly in love with each other even though we had never met. We shared the best and kept the rest hidden. Finally I went to Kansas to meet her and it was a disaster. There was no spark between us and we were not attracted to each other, but we had sex anyway. At the age of 27 I was still a virgin and she had her own issues having once been date raped. Two desperate people do not make good life companions and it was over before it began…I went back to Minnesota with relief thinking that it was over until I received her letter a few months later saying that she was pregnant…