Anarchistbanjo's World

I participated in a full moon drumming circle last night that was very nice. One of the things we did was something called a drum shower which I had never done before. We would take turns and one person would stand in the center of the circle and the others would then hold their drums close to the person and begin drumming as they moved the drums from the top of the head down to the ground and back up again. This was repeated three times. It was very powerful and stimulating to the chakra centers. It was also very cleansing and energizing. It almost felt like going to a chiropractor and getting an adjustment. Coming on or near the full moon was an added treat as it allowed for making room for more of the incoming energy.

Continuing my personal story: A person’s conscience usually kicks in around the age of twelve but mine was a bit late and didn’t show up until I was fourteen. When it did show up it was with a vengeance! As time went on I found myself increasingly at odds with the religious expectations of how I was raised. While I was not a mean person my shoplifting continued and I began to swear and hang out with some questionable people. The end result was that when I was around my parents or other authority figures I was a totally different person than when I was around my friends. I was not able to be who I really was! I did things that I knew were wrong and didn’t feel good about myself. I was lying to others and to myself and it became increasingly harder. My conscience was beginning to bother me in a big way and I couldn’t ignore it…

This confrontation with my conscience led to a spiritual crisis at the age of fourteen. It didn’t matter if God forgave me because I couldn’t forgive myself! I finally realized that I needed to live in such a way that I could live with myself and that meant that I needed to follow the still small voice of my conscience. I vowed to myself and to God that I would try to follow my conscience in all things for the rest of my life and I have tried to do that. It was a profound realization and led to my embracing the religious values and teaching that I had been brought up with. I had been saved; or so I thought…

I was extremely shy and nervous around girls and very sensitive; too sensitive. My parents and family had not prepared me in any way for healthy romantic relationships and I soon fell into that dreaded category of the boy that girls liked to be friends with and talk to, but not to be romantically involved with. I was always the friend and not the boy friend. I had no idea how to break out of that cycle.

There was a girl that I really liked and I finally asked her out for a date. We went on three or four dates and then she dropped me because I was boring…I was devastated but couldn’t really blame her…I was boring and I didn’t have a very high opinion of myself. She was much higher than I was and I placed her upon that pedestal. But I couldn’t get her out of my mind and three years later, some two years after graduation I asked her out again. This time I was determined not to be boring…

Sparks flew! The sexual tension was so great between us that it was almost unbearable. Yet I always backed off at the last minute because I was afraid of that intensity and ultimately she was too. We could read each other’s minds and feel each other’s emotions and our body language didn’t lie…but it was too much…she didn’t want a relationship of that kind of intensity. She just wanted to have some fun and I didn’t understand. I wanted that relationship. I often dreamed of her and in one dream she walked past me and touched me on the tailbone at the root chakra. I felt a powerful electrical shock and didn’t know what it meant.

It was only some thirty years later that I understood what it meant and I will share it here. This girl was a flirt and radiated sexuality. She was fun and popular and she knew it. So was her mother. In ancient days they would have been considered witches even though they didn’t really know what they were doing on a conscious level. She was a sexual predator, an energy vampire. The connection made in that dream encounter lasted over thirty years, thirty years in which she drained my own sexual energy from me and from others as well. It is how she kept her etheric double alive and radiant.

I was unaware of that remaining connection until much later in life when I once more activated that lower chakra center and began working with it. I discovered that connection as an energy leak and severed it to permanently close it. The next day I found out that she had wrecked her car in an accident…

There is no doubt that she was a soulmate, and shared the same frequency as my own soul. I’ve known three other women that shared that same frequency and will speak of them later. Being the same frequency makes one a soulmate, not anything else. It doesn’t mean that you can get along or live together either. It just means there is a very powerful spark that exists between you which can be used in the process of soul development.