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Archive for the ‘fantasy’ Category

Chapter 8

Rafe explained the best way to survive in the winter was to hunt the larger animals like the deer. Each kill would provide enough food for a week or more and in the winter it was very important to have some food set aside for emergencies and for when the weather really got bad. Winter was also the best time for trapping animals for their fur. He would need some winter clothing before it got really cold and this was as good a time to learn as any. He could make some things now while the furs were prime and keep them at Rafe’s camp until he needed them.

In the meantime it was spring and life was abundant. Flowers bloomed in the meadows and insects flew and crawled all over. Tobal learned to make containers and drinking cups out of the green bark of birch trees and boiled water in them. He used them to make teas and ointments that kept the deerflies and ticks away.

His skin became tanned and his muscles hard from the constant exposure and work. He could stay outside in any weather and walk the entire day without being exhausted. By the end of the second week Tobal was living completely on his own food. He was not only finding food but was providing food for Rafe to eat. He still had trouble cooking though. Nothing he cooked tasted as good as the mouth watering victuals that Rafe provided. Still Rafe never complained. Tobal learned the importance of keeping his knife razor sharp, both of them. He kept the one from his initiation on his belt and his old knife strapped to his right leg above his ankle just as Rafe did.

By the end of the second week he was getting bored with the monotony of the daily grind and the constant need to keep busy. He was looking forward to something new. They moved out from Rafe’s small valley and traveled in different directions meeting up at designated spots on the map every other day. Tobal became proficient with the map and with triangulating where he was at any given time.

He spent some evenings alone and others with Rafe. The evenings he spent with Rafe were spent creating different kinds of shelters and sleeping in them. He was amazed at how many things could be used for shelter. But they all had the bed made of soft fragrant pine boughs and he followed the first rule of never sleeping on the ground if it could be avoided.

Leaning trees that had fallen provided shelter when combined with the gray poncho material. Two trees and his walking stick lashed between them became an impromptu tent. Lean-to shelters were easily made and he also made a small teepee using the gray blanket material.

The need for water was always present and he never strayed too far from a good supply of it. He learned where to look for fresh water springs and waterholes. He also learned to collect rain water with his poncho or blanket and fill his canteens and other containers. Rain water was fresh and didn’t need to be boiled. Water from stagnant pools needed to be boiled before drinking.

He practiced continuously with the sling and his bow. He got his first deer at the end of the third week. He was really excited even though there was too much meat. They spent two days slicing and smoking it into jerky that could be stored away to eat later. It made his pack much heavier and he cached some carefully in a tree marking the spot on his map so he could return to it later.

Once in awhile they would see an air sled in the distance with a medic on it. They would wave and sometimes the medic would wave back. Medics were not allowed to interfere with the Apprentice degrees unless there was an emergency but they did keep an eye on things.

It was during the fourth and final week that Rafe asked Tobal to look at the map and decide where he was going to solo. He should also start thinking about where he was going to be training people. He recommended Tobal stay roughly within 60 miles of the gathering spot.

“Where are the others?” He asked Rafe curiously.

“We don’t move around too much unless we are training someone,” Rafe answered. “The Journeymen usually find a permanent spot and no one bothers them. Many of the older Apprentices do too. That’s why we haven’t seen anyone. Still, a lot of the nicer spots have been taken and it’s getting harder to find an area that someone has not at least passed through. We encourage the newbies to stay within 30 miles of the gathering spot so we can keep an eye on them. Since there are normally not more than seven or eight training at any given time there is lots of space and it’s easy to stay out of each other’s way.”

Tobal enjoyed the rugged outdoor lifestyle and the solitude. He felt a quiet confidence in his growing ability to survive and was looking forward to his own solo that was rapidly approaching.

The fourth week was different than the first three. It was travel, travel and more travel. Rafe knew where several people lived and they set out to visit them. The meaning was clear. Rafe wanted Tobal to be able to go for help and find someone if it was needed. He also wanted Tobal to know who his friends were.

Once when they were going through the woods Rafe stopped him and motioned him to be silent. He pointed at three figures in black that were going through the woods at a fast dog trot.

“There are some people, particularly in the Journeyman degree,” Rafe said later, “that have gone off the deep end and gone rogue. These Journeymen will ambush a person, destroy his or her belongings, take their supplies and leave them helpless. It is a real danger that must always be kept in mind.

Fortunately the rogues do not stay close to the gathering spot. They are not very good woodsmen and can barely survive on their own during the winter. That’s probably why they prey on others. Usually they prey on other Journeymen that have set up permanent camps and take their winter supplies.

It always pays to be careful. If possible, know whom you are visiting, some might make you welcome and some camps might be dangerous. I don’t think there is any danger of being killed”, Rafe said, “but there is always the possibility of being injured and put in the hospital or something. The medics might not be able to get there in time. If you ever run across something that is not yours, leave it alone. There is no need to get anyone pissed off because you messed with their stuff.”

With that final warning they headed back toward the gathering spot and the monthly circle celebration.

Circle was different this time around and Tobal whistled merrily as he traveled the path into camp. He didn’t see anyone on the trail and no one tried to stop him or Rafe. Rafe seemed amused at Tobal’s whistling but didn’t say anything about it. He only whistled a few short bars at two sharp turns in the trail and that was it.

People were setting up teepees and gathering wood for the fires. There was a lot of work to do and Tobal joined in with enthusiasm. He helped dig the roasting pits where the bigger animals were being prepared. It felt good to work along side other clansmen and joke with them. He was grateful to contribute and as evening came closer he wondered what the night would bring.

Everyone was changing into robes. All clan members at circle wore robes that they kept in one of the storage buildings. A black robed guard was handing them out. There was no reason to haul robes around all month when they were only used here. Tobal was given a long gray robe similar to the one he had gotten at sanctuary.

“Just bring it back tomorrow when you’re done with it.” Was all the guard told him.

It turned out only four newbies were being initiated that night. Tobal made some new friends and was hanging out with them. They were all Apprentices. Zee was a raven haired girl with shoulder length hair and a good sense of humor. She had been one of Rafe’s students and was training her first newbie. Nicky, the newbie had just arrived at sanctuary two weeks ago and was being initiated as Apprentice tonight, but would be waiting till next month before starting her solo.

Wayne was a stocky good natured fellow with sandy hair. He had been an Apprentice for two years and wasn’t in any hurry to make it to Journeyman. He didn’t have any student and hadn’t been training anyone for the past few months. He was more interested in being with his girl friend that was also an Apprentice. His girlfriend, Char, had curly brown hair and a ready smile. They were always seen together at circle. Tobal remembered both of them from last circle. It was easy to tell they were in love.

A tall, lanky, sandy haired kid was soloing the same time he was. They hit it off right away during last month’s initiation. In fact, all six that had been initiated last month were soloing this month. Kevin was more nervous about his solo than Tobal was. It made Tobal realize Rafe was a very uncommon teacher and extremely good at teaching others what they needed to know. Most soloists didn’t have the quality of training or the experience Rafe had given him. Kevin kept thinking about bad things that might happen in the woods, things that hadn’t occurred to Tobal since his first weeks of training. Many clansmen were excited about the six of them soloing and they were given lots of support and encouragement.

Nicky kept staring at Tobal’s face, finally she blurted out. “ What happened to your face anyway?”

Tobal was caught by surprise and off guard. “I was attacked by a wild animal that knocked me down. I fought it off and was really lucky.” He lied.

“I almost lost the sight in this eye,” and he fingered the long scar around his right eye.

Nicky said, “It makes you look kind of sexy and dangerous,” and it was her turn to blush. Rising to her feet, she crossed over to where Tobal was sitting and crouched down in front of him putting her arms around his neck.

“Very sexy,” she whispered and kissed him deeply and passionately on the lips pulling his hand against the top of her breasts where her robe lay casually open at the top. Then she stood back up and walked toward the kitchen to refill her mug of beer.

Tobal was stunned, then pleased. In this camp there were many scars and tattoos and each one had a story. In fact, the more scars or tattoo’s a person had, the more stories that went with them. Wayne was planning on getting matching tattoo’s with Char. They were debating what tattoos would look right and the best places to have them.

There was an awkward silence but it passed and everyone started talking again about the coming solo. After awhile one of the red cloaked figures came toward their group. She was a medic named Ellen. Tobal recognized her as the High Priestess that initiated him. She asked if everyone was ready for circle.

A few hours later Tobal and the others were at the circle entrance waiting and watching as it was cast and purified. The older members were gathered around. The central bonfire was piled high and the smaller fires at each of the quarters burned merrily. The High Priestess and High Priest cast the circle and Tobal watched with interest as they worked closely together.

They stood together before the stone altar that was set on the northern side of the central fire. The High Priestess handed the High Priest a bowl of water. As he held it she put the tip of her knife into it.

“I purify you spirit of water, banishing all impurities and illusion. May you be charged with the power, strength and love of the Lord and Lady. Blessed be!”

Then the High Priest put the bowl of water back on the altar and picked up a bowl of rock salt handing it to the High Priestess. She held the bowl as he put the tip of his knife into it.

“I purify you spirit of salt, banishing all impurities and evil. May you be charged with the power, strength and love of the Lord and Lady. Blessed Be!”

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Asphodels
 
The two of us walked
Across a meadow,
Annie Ventnor and I,
As we were climbing from
Mitromania up to Arco,
She had to rest there,
This slender English beauty,
She was thirty-four, hysterical
And badly, badly asthmatic.
Then we went up further
To Monte Tiberio
And then the two of us walked
Across a meadow of asphodels,
Lady Ventnor and I.
 
We walked over the meadow,
Walked toward the sea,
That surged deep below us,
Walked toward the sun,
The evening sun,
That was sinking there
Far behind Mallorca.
And we walked toward death,
Who had planted every where
His sacred perennial plants,
Asphodel plants,
—walked without speaking,
Silently toward death,
Annie Ventnor and I.
 
The outgoing evening sun
Sank into my eyes,
Sank into Annie Ventnor’s
Brown eyes,
Those tired, sick, pleading eyes.
And we felt:
—That now it might very well be!
Then I lifted her up in my arms
And jumped lightly
Down there,
Into the sea, into the sun,
Into the happiness they held!
A leap, a scream:
—Annie Ventnor and I!
 
And yet I knew:
That this evening
I would be down below
Sitting with the officers,
Would be playing Fly and Poker
And would be drinking absinthe,
Singing to the mandolin.
And would be laughing and
Dancing the tarantella
With the prostitutes—
 
And I also knew:
—This same Lady Annie Ventnor
Would be leaving for Naples
In the morning
To her lover.
He was a commissionaire
At the great
Clearing house of Mele,
And was an ugly Moor,
A dirty, stupid, ugly Moor,
That laughed over his hysterical
Countess . . .
And for new embraces
Always give her more
New, beautiful money.
 
I knew all that.
—And still the two of us walked,
Annie Ventnor and I,
In wonderful, Corinthian silence
Over asphodel meadows . . .

-Hanns Heinz Ewers
translated by Joe Bandel

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Rafe regarded him gravely a minute before answering. There are not many people claiming sanctuary in the winter. Some of these people have been Apprentice for three or more years. They might remain Apprentice for the rest of their lives if they don’t grow up and train someone. They either have no interest in training or no one wants to train with them. Some people pick a partner to train, fall in lust, become sex partners and don’t care about advancing. Then there are others that want to advance and simply not enough people to train. It is highly competitive and you really have to hustle if you want to advance.

I’ve made some enemies. You’re my sixth trainee in a year. No one else has ever done that before.

Another thing is that I’m younger than most of the people here. Some of the older people really resent me. They not only resent me. They resent the newbies I’ve trained because I’ve taught them to be competitive too. Some of these old timers are finding it almost impossible to get anyone to train. They don’t want to camp out at sanctuary for weeks at a time waiting for someone to show up like I did waiting for you. They are getting older and blaming the people I’ve trained for taking all of the newbies.

There are some hard feelings out there and some day something is going to happen. That’s why you have to be careful. Not everyone here is friendly. Some people would like to see you or me disappear or come up with a broken leg or something. Watch you back brother, watch your back.”

Tobal thrilled at being called ‘brother’ but a chill feeling of dread swirled around his tailbone. What had he gotten himself into, he wondered? The events of last night’s party were hazy and he didn’t remember much. He did remember the initiation though and how powerful it had been. He said as much to Rafe.

“You’ll have plenty of opportunities to participate in other initiations and experience them more completely.” “In fact,” he grinned, “you can have an active part in every circle and initiation from now on if you choose. It is an important part of your spiritual training. That’s how we do it out here.”

As they walked toward the center of the camp Tobal was surprised at how big it was and how many permanent log buildings had been built. This was his first real opportunity to see the camp in daylight. There were permanent structures like the sweat lodge nestled near a clear pool of mountain stream water. Others seemed to be just empty sleeping quarters. The larger log building where they were headed was the galley and stood out from the others.

Teepees were being taken down and put away. It seemed some of the empty buildings were used for storage. The teepee seemed to be the favorite for those desiring a little more privacy. They were built with long poles lashed together at the top and spread out in a conical shape at the bottom. They were covered with the gray woolen material that seemed to be used for just about everything out here. Many were insulated with heavy furs fastened over the woolen material and tied into place. Tobal wondered in an amused way how many trips through the sanctuary building had been made to get that many of the gray blankets.

They were not the only ones getting ready to leave. Many others were already leaving or saying their final good-byes. Tobal was trying to remember the names of people he had met and failing miserably. He felt good though and found himself looking forward to next month when he would see them again. In the galley they had a final breakfast of cooked venison, wild onions and sweet potatoes. With bellies stuffed packs and canteens full, they picked up their walking sticks and headed out of the camp.

They didn’t go back up the cliff but went down further through the valley and into the foothills. Rafe explained that nobody stayed near Heliopolis. His camp was about 40 miles away from sanctuary and there were other camps even further out. Most people stayed no further than thirty to sixty miles from the gathering spot though. Everyone was expected to find plenty of food and game in individual areas that were not over hunted and fairly private. It was mainly a nomadic existence, especially during the training phase. So you followed the food.

At various times of the year animals would migrate and move out of one area entirely and into others. Winters were hard and people set up permanent camps with stored food caches to help survive when fresh food was hard to find. This time of year the weather was mild and the days were warm and beautiful. The snow was rapidly thawing and new shoots of green vegetation ensured they wouldn’t have to worry about adequate food in a few more weeks. There were small animals and new plant life everywhere they looked although it was still too early for any insects.

Shortly after leaving the gathering spot Rafe said, “Give me your map.”

Tobal handed Rafe his map and Rafe marked an “X” on it. “This is my main camp,” he said. “We will be heading there first. That’s where I will show you how I make things and what a permanent camp looks like, especially in the winter. We’ll stay there a week or two while I teach you the basics you will need to know. Then for the last two weeks we will go out and find you some new territory to solo in. Ok?”

Tobal fought a knot of icy fear and managed to nod in agreement. He wasn’t quite certain about how easy this was going to be. Two weeks didn’t seem like very much time at all.

“Ok, then,” said Rafe. “You know where my camp is now so you lead the way!”

Tobal was momentarily confused. Then he understood and took his map back. He studied the spot Rafe had marked and compared it to where the mark for the gathering spot was. He knew they were about ½ mile north of the gathering spot and tried to orient himself on the map. The map showed Rafe’s camp lay about 50 miles in a northeast direction. Damn, he thought, Rafe certainly isn’t one that likes living close to the gathering spot. It would take a hard two days getting to his camp, maybe even longer if the terrain was really rough.

He noticed something else. Rafe was making certain his map had sanctuary, the gathering spot and Rafe’s own permanent camp on it. He felt a warmth of gratitude toward Rafe for that. If anything went wrong he would be able to find help if he needed it.

Tobal sat down with the map trying to puzzle out the best way to get to Rafe’s camp. He noticed that it was in some very rough country which meant it would be at least three days and not two.

“I don’t know if we can get to your place by going in a straight line.”

Rafe grinned evilly, “It looks like 50 miles in a straight line but it’s more like 100 the way we’ve got to go. It’s going to take us almost four days to get there.”

Four days! Tobal suddenly felt very vulnerable and unprotected. How in the world was he supposed to survive in this God forsaken place? He fought a rising panic and looked at the map again more carefully. Four days meant they were going to need water. He noticed a small stream 25 miles away and decided to make that their first camp. It was a little out of the way but he felt it was a good idea to stay close to water.

He studied the map some more and decided the second day they could head straight north and set up a dry camp. The third day would be another dry camp and they would reach Rafe’s camp sometime on the fourth day. They would also reach water on the fourth day before reaching the camp. He explained his plan to Rafe and showed him the map. Rafe studied the map thoughtfully.

“Ya, We can try that.” He said. “You did a good job thinking about what you were going to do and made a plan. You also remembered we need water and that’s very important out here. It looks like a good plan and I’m willing to try it with you. Lead the way.” He said.

Tobal pulled out his cord and undid all the knots in it. He aligned the red line on his compass for a northeast heading and surveyed the landscape seeking the best pathway through it. Choosing his route between trees he set out purposefully with Rafe following cheerfully behind him.

It was rough going the next three days. He didn’t need to worry about water because it rained all the way to Rafe’s camp. Tobal was glad for the makeshift woolen poncho that kept him halfway warm even when it was wet. It was miserable travelling.

He made a hat to keep body heat from escaping out the top of his head. It was welcome protection from both the sun and the rain since Tobal had fair skin that burned easily. Rafe had been insistent he had some type of head covering. One of the quickest ways of loosing body heat was not having your head covered. Sun stroke and sun burn could be dangerous killers. In the wilderness these things were not to be taken lightly. Tobal learned to move carefully and deliberately in the rain and slick mud.

Rafe continued his education by pointing out and gathering herbs. The unceasing rain made the snow disappear almost overnight. He explained about tinder and how to find good dry firewood even in the rain. Tobal learned to always have enough dry tinder and kindling to start a fire. He carried it with him in a pouch on his belt. The pouch was created by cutting some of the fabric off the poncho. He used the sewing kit to sew it together. He also used the sewing kit to mend some of his socks.

He made it a habit to gather small pieces of firewood as they went along so he didn’t need to look so hard for it at night. While it was more weight to carry, it was easier than looking in the rain and darkness for dry wood.

Each evening Tobal would select the campsite and start the fire under Rafe’s supervision. Together they would gather the rest of the evening’s wood and take turns preparing the meal. At night they set snares for small animals. In the morning they would check the snares and sometimes they would be lucky. Often they would find only an empty snare.

They couldn’t get warm enough in the constant drizzle but the fire did feel good even if they couldn’t get dry. During the day they also hunted for small game. Rafe and Tobal each cut a long strip of fabric and made a sling out of it. Together they practiced with small stones at various targets. The first day Rafe hit a rabbit and that night they ate rabbit stew. There was always some kind of greens for a salad.

Small animals were not all they would eat. Rafe showed him how to break open rotten logs and find the grubs within them.

“They are better cooked in something.” Rafe grinned as Tobal fought off a wave of nausea. “Still, they are better than not eating at all. The large wood ants have a lemony flavor but you need to make sure you bite them hard before swallowing or they will try to crawl back up.”

By water they set traps overnight for fish and set snares for small animals. If they caught anything it was usually a rabbit or squirrel and went into the stew or was simply roasted. They ate the fish immediately.

At noon every day Tobal triangulated his true position on the map and made small corrections in their course. At times he rethought the best route to Rafe’s camp from their current position. The wilderness often looked much different than it did on the map and the differences took some getting used to. Some areas that looked passable on the map certainly did not look inviting in real life and other times it seemed appropriate to take a short cut that had not been considered.

In all this Tobal was the guide and Rafe simply listened and followed. Once in awhile he would make a comment about some of the changes in the plan that Tobal proposed but he went along with them. At times Tobal realized he had made a mistake and hours were spent retracing the way back to their starting point. Still, with each success and miscalculation he learned more about both reading the map and moving through rough country.

Late afternoon of the fourth day they arrived at Rafe’s base camp. The rain had stopped but they were soaked to the bone. It was a secluded valley and Rafe had to show Tobal the hidden entrance or he would never have found it. The main camp was a large teepee with several small outbuildings made of logs. He had his own sweat lodge built next to a small mountain stream. There was also a rack for smoking meat and making jerky. The first thing they did was get into some warm dry clothes and fix a decent meal.

The rest of the first week passed quickly. They stayed in the area and set traps for fish and snares for smaller animals. Tobal learned the ways of each animal he hunted. Rafe showed him the game trails and what the individual tracks of each animal looked like. They smoked the fish and other meat so it would keep and not spoil.

In the evenings at the campfire Rafe had him work first on a bow and then on some arrows so he could hunt larger game. He learned how to skin and dress the smaller animals like beaver, muskrat and mink. He would carefully stretch and dry the pelts for later use as winter clothing. He learned the basics of tanning leather and made his first leather crafted items. The weather was turning too warm to be wearing furs anymore and the pelts would soon loose their value as the animals shed their heavy winter fur. He could always use some leather though and concentrated mainly on tanning leather.

Each morning they explored the area, checking game trails and sneaking up on animals without trying to kill them. They had plenty to eat and practiced stalking larger game animals like deer and mountain goat. During the following week Tobal learned more about tracking and how fresh an old track might be. He was getting fairly good with the sling and practiced every day with the bow.

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Through the Flower
 
I can’t tell you the flower’s name,
Which is like your soul.
It must burn a deep scarlet,
Such flowers wilt easily.
 
And when its red charm is gone,
It wants to become young again.
And must deep down in the sand,
Fertilize with its own blood.

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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May Morning
 
The May morning shimmered,
She sat silent and pale,
Her sweet eyes glimmered,
And slowly became moist.
 
Shadows of pain darkened
Her white features,
And large tears glittered
Like dew in the sunlight.

A butterfly gawked
At the sad, silent couple,
And fluttered
In her blonde hair.
 
His look; gloomy thoughts,
Sucked away her charm.
The hour, that trickled away,
Gave them pain, after pain.
 
They remained silent; each suffering,
In equally bitter torment.
So the two sat separately,
United for one last time.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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No one came for him as he sat meditating and watching the moon rise. He guessed it must be around midnight and the moon was full and bright. The sky was very clear and the stars were brilliant. Then he saw a black robe coming toward him in the moonlight with a torch. As the figure neared, Tobal saw it was a dark haired girl. Feeling a little self conscious, he scrambled to his feet and steadied himself.

She stopped in front of him holding the burning torch in his face. “You are a lost and lonely soul wandering in the darkness and searching for light. Without wisdom you are wandering blindly and doing harm to yourself. If you wish, I will act as your guide. Do you seek the light and wisdom of our clan?”

Tobal answered, “Yes, I do.”

“There are two passwords you must remember or you will not be allowed into our sacred circle.” She slowly whispered, “Perfect Love” and “Perfect Trust” into his ear. “Can you remember these two passwords?”

Tobal nodded in silence.

“You must speak, Yes or No,” she demanded shoving the torch at him fiercely.

“Yes, I can remember them,” he stammered backing away from the fire.

“Come with me, but first I must blindfold you.” She took a strip of gray cloth and bound it tightly across his eyes so he couldn’t see anything.

She led him stumbling in the darkness toward the central fire he had seen in the distance. As they neared he could feel it’s heat and hear the flames crackle. He could also hear the muffled stirrings of other people as they hushed to watch and listen. Another female voice spoke loudly from the center of the circle.

“Listen to the words of the Lord and Lady. Whenever you need something call upon us, the guiding spirits of the human race, male and female. We shall answer you and assist you in all things. You are meant to be free, to dance, to sing, to feast and to make love. Do these things all with our blessings for the “Blessings” of physical life and the “Blessings” of spiritual life are as one within each human heart.

Embrace your dreams and desires as you strive to make them real. Let nothing stop you or turn you aside. Accept our blessings and help because life is meant to be a joy of the heart. We, male and female, can be found within the dust of the earth and the light of the stars. Our awareness encircles the universe and binds it to our wills. In our union is the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars, the mystery of the waters and the desires of the heart of man. We call upon your soul to join us in the creation of nature and the expansion of the life force into the universe.

From the union of male and female all things must come and all things must return. Rejoice therefore in the duality of life and let your worship be acts of love and pleasure, beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence. Know that we are within you, male and female, and if you can not find our union within yourself, you will never find it within another person. We will be with you at your death even as we were with you at the moment of your birth.”

In the pause that followed Tobal’s guide stepped forward and said loudly, “A seeker is among us. Tobal Kane has claimed sanctuary. He wishes to join with us and follow the ways of the ancient craft.”

The High Priestess called out, “This is not a matter to be taken lightly. Your immortal soul will be deeply committed to the path of the Lord and Lady if you continue. Do you wish to join your destiny to that of the Lord and Lady?”

Tobal spoke out firmly, “I do.”

The High Priestess came up to him and placed her hands on his shoulders, “Know well that love and trust must be freely given so they may be freely received. Consider carefully your own words because your life’s blood may someday be required. Do you still desire to join your destiny with ours?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Very well, in following the way that stretches beyond life and death will you serve the Lady and reverence the Lord? Will you keep secret from the untrustworthy those things we will show you?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Have you chosen a name by which you will be known within the circle?”

“I have chosen ‘Brother Oak’ as my magickal name.”

“So be it brother Oak, enter the path of light.”

Tobal was pulled forward into the circle but his guide sharply pulled him back.

“Brother Oak, You cant’ enter our sacred circle unpurified.”

Tobal waited, wondering what was going on. He felt water being sprinkled over him.

“I purify you with water.”

He suddenly smelled incense very strongly.

“I purify you with fire.”

The High Priestess continued, “Know this, you will not be asked to go against the inner voice of your conscience or against your higher soul by taking the oath of our sacred circle.” He felt the sharp point of a knife blade pressing painfully into his chest.

“It would be better to rush upon this blade than continue with fear in your heart. There are two passwords that will allow you entrance into our circle. What are they?”

Tobal whispered, “Perfect Love” and “Perfect Trust.”

The High Priestess smiled, “These are most welcome within our circle. I give you another.” She embraced Tobal and kissed him, her body pressed tightly against his. With her body she turned him around and pushed him into the circle. Then she led him stumbling clockwise around the fire coming to a sudden stop.

“Powers of the East. Brother Oak is properly prepared for initiation as Apprentice into our ancient craft.” He was led further and stopped again at another point. “Powers of the South. Brother Oak is properly prepared for initiation as Apprentice into our ancient craft.”

This was repeated two more times, once at the West and once at the North. Then she led him back near the center of the circle where he felt the heat from the bon fire against the front of his body. “You are about to be recognized as an Apprentice of our clan and circle. As an Apprentice you are expected to gain the skills to survive on your own in the wilderness. You are expected to take care of your own belongings and eventually set up your own household.

You are expected to solo for one month to prove your mastery of survival skills. Following that”, she continued, “you are expected to train six others even as you will be trained. You must do these things before you are allowed to progress into the 2nd degree of our ancient and holy craft. Do you understand this? Do you agree to do these things to the best of your ability?”

“I do,” said Tobal.

“In agreeing to these obligations you have passed the test required and may now take the Oath of our circle. Are you ready to continue?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Will you always help, defend and protect brothers and sister of our clan from harm?”

“I will.”

“Then repeat after me, I, Brother Oak, in the presence of the Lord and Lady, most solemnly swear I will keep the secrets of our clan. I will never refuse to share these secrets with a brother or sister if they have been initiated as I was. I further swear I will not loose control of my thoughts, words, or actions. I will not use my powers for evil purposes and I will proceed with firmness and courage to the conclusion of this initiation. I will let my inner conscience and higher self guide me in all ways. I further swear by my hopes of a future life, mindful that my measure will be taken. May my weapons be turned against me if I break this solemn oath. So help me, Lord and Lady and my own Higher Soul.”

“Now we are going to take your measure.”

Tobal felt the High Priestess and someone else stretch a cord from the top of his head to the ground and heard them cut it. Then the string was placed around his forehead and a knot tied as the measure was taken. Next he was asked to raise his arms and the string was placed around his heart where another measurement was taken and another knot tied in the cord. Lastly he felt the cord around his hips and genital area where a final measurement was taken.

The High Priestess wound up the string and placed it on an altar that stood near the fire. “Before you are sworn, are you willing to pass the ordeal?”

“I am willing,” Tobal answered.

A drum began to sound and he could hear the outer circle come alive as members began to dance and move around the circle. They gently pushed and nudged Tobal as they passed turning him until he was giddy and completely disoriented. This seemed to go on forever as a feeling of stuffiness, energy and heat within the circle became overpowering until the cone of power was raised. Tobal felt like he was about to faint.

Abruptly the High Priestess called a halt and turned Tobal back to face the bonfire.

“If you seek the light, you shall find it!” She shouted snatching the blind fold from his eyes.

He was momentarily blinded and couldn’t see.

“This bonfire is the symbol of the triumph of truth and wisdom. The light it gives is symbolic of the greater spiritual light you now seek.” Placing her hand on his head, she intoned, “In the name of the Lord and Lady, I transmit this blessing of love and light to stir your higher self and bring you into the light.”

A tingling and pouring of light and energy flowed through Tobal. It was so powerful he felt dizzy and happy at the same time.

The High Priest came up next placing his hand on Tobal’s head. “In the name of the Lord and Lady, I transmit this blessing of love and light to stir your higher self and bring you into the light.”

Again Tobal felt the tingling as a wave of energy swept through him. It was a different type of energy but just as powerful as the first. They felt different but somehow they also felt like they belonged together.

He felt himself being torn from his body and pulled into a vortex of energy that swirled him upward to be embraced in the arms of a man and woman of radiant light. This must be the Lord and Lady, he remembered thinking before he collapsed.

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Chrysanthemums

Katie, who reads my songs,
Wants me to write about chrysanthemums.
Chrysanthemums—
The flowers that Katie loves.
So now she stands before me at the writing desk,
And I put my head in my hands and search, search
For the soul of this flower—
And I think:
Yes—two images come to me,
That can put me on the track—
One: the delicate, sensitive Frenchman,
Pierre Loti visualized it and painted it
In the foggy tones of “The Boys of Glasgow”,
And hidden in a painting by Whistler,
He called his vision—“Madame Chrysanthemum”.
Yet these flowers speak differently to me,
Still, I can’t find their soft tones
And their voices—
Let me search further—
And the other image?
In my mother’s house, on one floor
In a brilliant white area is a
Black framed sketch of the Madonna,
The one sitting—and on both sides,
Are two small end tables,
Which hold large, gray vases.
But mother always puts chrysanthemums
In the vases,
Chrysanthemums, and only chrysanthemums.
Why only chrysanthemums?
No, red Mallows should be there,
Red, white and violet mallows!
And I search for the soul of this flower,
And can’t find a trace of it anywhere.
I have to ask Katie!
“Katie! Katie!”
Katie comes and rocks in the chair!
“Oh, you big fool!—you muse, muse,
Meditate and think—and my lovely flower
Says nothing to you?”
Then listen: “The coquette shepherd girls
From Trianon, at the festival
Carried colored chrysanthemums on their staffs—
And at the ball Katie laughs and dances,
And on her white shoulders laughs
Colored chrysanthemums.
Fluttering soft petals, like those of the
Colorful shepherd girls, that play in the wind,
That forget all troubles and sorrows.
And the short hours of sweet embrace,
That delight the poor senses!
You see—that—is everything!”
And I kneel:
“Katie, let me kiss your shoulders,
On your shoulders I kiss your flowers,
Soft chrysanthemums:—Katharina!”

-Hanns Heinz Ewers
translated by Joe Bandel

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Chapter 6

Tobal stood on flat rock at the cliff’s edge looking down into the valley. He could see the main camp being set up. He also saw some log cabins surrounded by teepee like structures and a smoking fire pit in the center of the camp itself. The people looked like ants from this distance.

He wondered how they were going to make it down into that guarded valley? He couldn’t see any possible way down from where he was standing.

Rafe said, “Don’t worry about it. I told you I know the way down. Just follow me.”

Tobal reshouldered his pack and took a last drink from his canteen. It was nearly empty. He turned and limpingly followed Rafe. He had not tied his boots tightly enough and his left heal was raw and blistered. Rafe had really chewed him out and treated him from the first aid kit. He had been reminded any open wound in the wilderness was very serious and could get infected easily if it wasn’t taken care of immediately. There was limited help available and he had to take better care of himself.

There was a faint two foot wide trail Rafe was leading him on. It sloped steeply downward and Tobal clung nervously to the rock face trying to keep his balance as Rafe scampered on ahead of him. The heat of the sun warmed the cliff face and had melted most of the snow off the trail. They didn’t need the snow shoes anymore and carried everything in backpacks. Rafe sprinkled sand on some of the slippery spots and Tobal used his walking stick to pound away the ice from stubborn areas.

The ledge widened into a real trail with boulders to climb over, hairpin turns, and stomach lurching drops before narrowing down again and hugging the cliff face so tightly that Tobal needed to move sideways along it. There were no handholds or supports and it was slow going made even slower by his extreme nervousness. He had never liked heights.

He half slid, half fell, but managed to stay on his feet. More than once the sturdy support of his walking stick helped him keep his balance. Rafe had long since disappeared down the trail and Tobal felt alone and abandoned. He went around a large boulder where the trail widened into a road and leveled out. He heard a scraping sound on the rock above him and looked up to see a large gray blanket being thrown over his head as he was roughly grabbed and thrown to the ground.

Tobal was bound and hoodwinked with his hands tied securely behind his back and then roughly shoved by at least two people that led him further down the path for almost thirty minutes. His foot hurt badly and he almost tripped and fell several times but rough hands caught and held him steady as he blindly staggered along.

He was abruptly pulled to a stop and heard a loud knocking three times that echoed and hurt his ears.

“Who is there?” A voice challenged.

“A prisoner, Master.”

“Where is he from?”

“Master, he is from Neo-Rome and comes by way of Old Seattle.”

“What is he doing here?”

“He is claiming sanctuary at Heliopolis, city of the sun.”

“What does he want from us?”

“He can not survive in the wilderness without our aid, he wishes for peace and seeks wisdom.”

“Let him confirm his intentions with an oath.” The deep voice continued. “If your intentions are truly honorable you will be set free and received as a brother into our clan. Is this your wish?”

Tobal nodded his head under the hoodwink.

“I can’t hear you,” the voice bellowed harshly. “You need to say ‘yes, you do’ or no, you don’t’.”

Tobal stammered in a muffled voice “Yes, I do wish to become a member of your clan.”

“That’s better,” the voice continued. “Repeat your name and say after me:

I, Tobal Kane, am a helpless prisoner in your power. I am a native of Neo-Rome and claim sanctuary at Heliopolis, the City of the Sun where I seek citizenship, light and truth. I come in peace. I further demand by right of blood full participation in the mysteries of the Lord and Lady. I swear to hold these mysteries sacred and secret. If I break this oath.”

The hoodwink was roughly lifted and a large chunk of rough bread covered with rock salt shoved in his mouth.

He started to gag but a fierce voice whispered in his ear, “Eat it.” As he struggled to swallow the deep voice continued.

“If I betray the bread and salt may my body be mutilated and thrown to the wolves.”

Panicking, he stammered his reply and felt the sharp pain of a knife point near his groin. Someone was cutting away the fabric of his robe and the bottom half fell to the ground around his knees. He felt very exposed and vulnerable.

“Release the prisoner!”

His arms were unbound and the hoodwink taken off. He blinked in the fierce sunlight and shivered in the cold as the wind swirled around his bare legs. He was standing in front of a teepee. The Master was standing in front of him dressed in a red robe and welcoming smile.

“Tobal Kane,” he said, “welcome to our clan.” The fiery figure stepped forward and embraced him in a crushing bear hug. “Come in, sit down! We greet you as a brother and a seeker after the hidden wisdom of Heliopolis.” They entered into the warm teepee and Tobal sat on some warm furs next to the cheerful fire in the center of circular structure.

The Master clapped his hands together loudly. “Proclaim the arrival of Tobal Kane to our entire camp!”

“Yes Master,” a black robed guard replied. Bowing stiffly he backed three steps before turning and leaving the teepee.

Tobal heard the guard shouting loudly, “Welcome Tobal Kane, the newest member of our clan!” Then he heard sounds of scattered applause, whoops and yells of welcome.

“The Master turned toward Tobal, “You will need the sign and password of our clan to enter our camp in the future. The pass word for the present month is…” and he whistled a tune that Rafe had been whistling from time to time.

“Before you leave I will give you the first of our teachings. Remember this and dwell upon it in the days to come.

Those that wish to be free must submit to some form of discipline and organization. This evening you will be initiated as an Apprentice and expected to complete the duties of an Apprentice. If you do not have the self discipline you will find your time among us very hard. Our goal is the development of self discipline and personal freedom. If you learn your skills well you will discover personal freedom and self empowerment that you have never dreamed of.

The rules of our clan are as strict as the rules of nature. A ‘Circle of Elders’ guides us in all things. Respect them and go to them for advice and counsel when you need to. Don’t worry about the apparent restrictions your obligations will place upon you. They are designed to free you and assist in the personal discovery of your own ‘True will’. In finding your own internal authority you will no longer need our external authority. That is when you can follow your true destiny in life. It is our wish you find your own internal Master and allow him to guide you in all things.

We have no way of knowing what your true destiny might be. You have the right to discover and follow your true path and none of us shall ever stop you. We will place power and knowledge in your hands. Remember you have made a solemn oath to us of your good will and intention.”

“Now,” the Master clapped his hands and smiled, “You need to be prepared for your Apprentice initiation.”

The Master and four black robed guards led him to another teepee that had a fire burning within it. Tobal was introduced to five others that were also going to be initiated that night. He was left there to share a light meal with his new comrades. Several hours later the Master and guards reappeared and addressed each of them.

“Do you wish to take the Apprentice Initiation?”

“It is my wish,” said Tobal solemnly along with the others.

“Then you need to be properly prepared. Guard!” The Master indicated toward Tobal and the others.

“Take these candidates to be prepared.”

The guard silently took the small group to a sweat lodge and told them to purify themselves first by the steam and then by diving into the pool of icy spring water that was close by. Tobal dropped his clothing with the others and walked naked into the sweat lodge. There were three girls and three boys but no one seemed to notice anything unusual about it.

Tobal sat in silence and meditation with the others for thirty minutes in the steam until the sweat was pouring off him. He had been instructed to choose a magickal name for himself. During this time he had also been instructed to think about why he wanted to become an Apprentice. His thoughts naturally turned toward his parents and how they had somehow wanted this for him.

The sweat poured off as his stiff muscles slowly loosened and relaxed. He felt clean and refreshed. He was also getting excited about the coming initiation. Two of the others had already left the sweat lodge but he still hadn’t decided upon a proper magickal name for himself. Suddenly it seemed his mother was whispering to him, “Brother Oak, you will be strong like an oak tree and help your brothers and sisters.”

After another five minutes in the steam he ran out and dived into the shallow pool of icy water gasping as the shock took his breath away. He staggered gasping out of the pool and ran into the main teepee where he grabbed a blanket and began rubbing his body furiously trying to bring the circulation back. He felt a bit strange and silly as he picked up his mutilated robe and put it back on. It was no longer a robe but more like a tunic that came down just barely below his waist. The cool air and a slight draft made him keenly aware of his lack of underwear. He made a mental note to make some as soon as possible. The unaccustomed draft made him feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.

He laughed and moved nearer to the fire joining those already there. They joked about the coldness of the icy water and the draftiness of the shortened robes as they made room for him at the fire. That broke the ice and they chatted as one by one they were taken to their initiations. Finally Tobal was left alone in the teepee. He was warm by then and even opened the door flap and sat in the opening looking out as he waited.

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Otherwise
 
You have described me wonderfully,
How I have almost destroyed your love;
But me—you—you don’t love me,
Otherwise you would love me differently.
 
Otherwise you would want to please your friend,
And not think of reputation and duty,
And I would thankfully press my face
Into your blissful breasts.
 
Otherwise I would not remain so mute,
When you mouth speaks to me of love;
Not I! —No, no, you don’t love me;
Otherwise—oh, otherwise, I would love you!

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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“You know what time of year it is don’t you?” He looked over at Tobal.

Tobal was puzzled, “It’s April.”

“That’s right,” Rafe said. “The full moon in March or early April is a very special time when we celebrate the beginning of spring and Osteria.”

“What’s Osteria? What’s that mean? I’ve never heard of anyone celebrating Osteria before.”

Rafe answered, “When we live in the woods we try living in harmony with nature. We try to understand the tides and energies of the seasons. Have you ever felt the energy of spring before, the energy of the spring thaw? Have you felt nature coming back to life again after the cold winter? When you tap into that energy it makes you feel alive and great! We study the natural forces of nature and how to adapt to them.

The yearly cycle has major festivals to celebrate the energy changes that are important to us. There are eight major festivals in the year. Four of them are solar festivals and four of them are lunar festivals. You will learn more about them later.”

“Consider yourself lucky to have your initiation during Osteria because it will give the added power of spring.”

“Anyway,” Rafe continued. “We are going to the gathering spot for the celebration and for your initiation into the clan. That way you’ll get to meet everybody. The gathering place is about 30 miles north of here.”

“What initiation?”

“Your official initiation into our clan as a brother. It is when you will be introduced and welcomed to the other members of our clan.”

“Our clan?”

“Forget it for now. We’ve got to get moving.” Rafe pulled out his map and laid it flat on the ground. He showed Tobal.

“You remember last night? You said we were right here,” He made a little mark on the map with his pencil. “Oh, by the way, don’t forget to make marks on these maps. Mark all of the places you want to remember.” Then he pointed to a spot on the map Tobal recognized as the campsite. Tobal nodded.

“OK,” said Rafe, “We spin the map around so it’s facing north just like before,” he spun the map around. “Have the string straight north like we did before. 30 miles is how far on the map?”

Tobal looked at the gridlines and did a quick calculation. “30 miles will put us right about here”. He pointed to a spot on the map about 3 inches north of their campsite. He noticed there was an “x” marked on Rafe’s map at that spot.

“That’s right,” Rafe chuckled. “What can you tell me about getting there?”

“What do you mean?” Tobal asked.

“Look at the map. Do we go in a straight line or what? Describe the terrain we need to cross.”

Tobal looked more closely at the map and noticed something strange. “What’s this,” he asked suddenly?

Rafe looked smug. “What are you talking about?”

“Well,” Tobal continued, “the lines get real close together and then there is just one thick dark line. It must be a cliff or ravine. Do we have to climb down a cliff?”

“That’s right,” Rafe grinned again. “We can’t go in a straight line to the gathering place. We can almost go in a straight line until we get to the cliff but then we need to find a way down into the valley from above. Fortunately I know the way down. It’s not too far out of our way and for all practical purposes, we will just head straight north today.”

“Now,” Rafe said, “take all the knots out of your cord. You will be tying new knots today.”

“New knots?” Tobal said blankly.

“That’s right, we don’t keep knots in the cord forever. We’re already where we wanted to be. The cord is a tool to get you where you want to be, not to tell you where you’ve been.”

“Oh,” Tobal said sheepishly.

“30 miles is how many knots in the cord?”

“60 knots,” said Tobal.

“Right and we’ve got a day and a half to do it.” Rafe got up. “Let’s get going.”

Three times Tobal saw deer in the distance. They were still herded and eating the browse on the smaller pine trees and scraping for fodder underneath the snow. They looked thin but Rafe told him they would start gaining weight soon when the last of the snow left.

As they snow shoed north toward the gathering place Rafe dug around in the snow and pointed out different plants. He explained their uses and showed Tobal how to make sure plants were safe to eat.

“Look,” Rafe said, “there are two ways of doing this. I can go along and point out all the things that are good to eat and all the things that are bad to eat or I can do something else. I’m going to teach you the right way. This is winter and there are not many plants around right now but in a month or two this entire area will be filled with things to eat. There will be times when you might be in a strange area or come upon a strange plant that you’ve never seen before. You might need something to eat. This one plant might be the difference between you starving or not starving. The first thing that you do with a plant you are not sure about is to pick a leaf and place it against your skin. Preferable soft skin like the skin on your belly which is more sensitive than the skin on other parts of your body.”

He dug in the snow and found a plant with some frozen leaves on it. “Hold this leaf against your belly held with a piece of cloth tied around your waist. Keep it there for a few hours and then check for signs of irritation or an allergic reaction. If you get a rash or it hurts, the chances are it is not good to eat. It might be usable for other things, but not to eat. We’ll talk about herbs for medicine later. Right now, we’re just finding food.”

Tobal took the leaf and cut a strip of gray cloth that Rafe handed him, tying the leaf against his belly as directed. Then they continued toward the gathering place. Two hours later they stopped to rest.

“Ok,” Rafe said. “Take a look at the leaf now.”

Tobal checked and there was no rash or irritation on his skin.

“The next step is to crumble them up so they are bruised and wet with sap. Now place them back against your skin,” Rafe directed.

Two hours later Rafe again asked him to check the leaf. Again there was no reaction as Tobal examined the skin on his stomach. All he could see was maybe a small red spot from the friction of rubbing. The skin was not tender and didn’t hurt or anything. He told Rafe everything was fine.

“Good, now put it in your mouth and taste it. Just taste it. If it tastes bitter or burns spit it out.”

Cautiously Tobal stuck his tongue out and tasted the leaf. Nothing happened, it just tasted like a plant.

“Now this is important. Go ahead and chew it 10 times, then spit it out.”

Tobal put the leaf back into his mouth and chewed 10 times. He could feel the flavor getting strong in his mouth. Hastily he spit the leaf out.

“It tastes like wintergreen,” he said.

“Yup,” Rafe laughed. “It’s wintergreen. Not much food value, but it has an oil that is flavorful. There aren’t many plants to eat yet so we will use what we can find.”

After he had spit out the leaf the taste stayed in his mouth as they continued. He felt his mouth go dry. Other than that there was no adverse reaction. Later Rafe gave him another leaf and told him to chew it 20 times and then hold it in his mouth. While it was strong tasting, the taste did not get any worse and after awhile became more bearable.

“That means you can probably eat the plant for food. Go ahead and swallow it.”

Tobal struggled to swallow the leaf and almost felt like throwing up.

“Don’t eat too much at a time if you are not used to it. You might get the runs.” Rafe grinned wickedly. “Getting the runs in the woods is not a very good idea.”

Tobal groaned weakly and managed to hold the leaf down. There was a knot in his stomach and he didn’t think he would be getting much nourishment from the leaf.

As they continued northward Rafe told him that wintergreen was not really a good plant to eat. It was mostly used for flavor and medical uses like making the stomach feel better. Rafe continued to dig out various plants and herbs as they went along. There was not much to find since it was early April and snow covered most of the area they were traveling. It was too early for any fresh vegetation.

They used some dried herbs Rafe had in his pack as seasoning in their jerky flavored soup that evening. Rafe pulled out a few tubes of food from sanctuary and combined it with jerky and herbs in the canteen cups. To Tobal’s surprise it was tasty and filling. They finished the meal with a steaming cup of wintergreen tea that was refreshing and pleasing.

Rafe pointed at Tobal’s pack. “There’s a book in your first aid kit about the plants that grow in this area. When you get the chance read it and study it. You need to know those plants and how to find them.”

Camp was in a small clearing much like the first one and Tobal went to bed early. He was exhausted. They had made about 20 miles and were looking forward to a fairly easy day tomorrow arriving at the gathering place in plenty of time for the celebration. He drifted off to sleep thinking about the next day and his coming initiation.

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