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Archive for the ‘fantasy’ Category

It was an hour later when the first air sled appeared and circled over them. By then they were three miles away from the abandoned camp and heading upstream. They waved but the medic didn’t wave back. After circling a few times he simply left.

Tobal was feeling uneasy about the situation and knew continuing upstream was a mistake. It would give the impression they might follow the stream back down again to return into the forbidden area. With this in mind he checked his location on the map and set out directly cross-country toward the gathering spot. Twice that day air sleds checked on them but simply flew over without circling.

They made a few dry camps before reaching water again and the going was extremely rough. The terrain was much more rocky with less vegetation and animal life. More than once Tobal was grateful for Melanie’s prowess with snare and sling. Things would have been much more difficult if he had been on his own out here.

There were no more air sleds and Tobal felt relief but remained careful. Camps he chose now were secret, hidden and very hard to find. People could pass a few yards from his shelter without knowing he or Melanie was there. They found caves to sleep in and built fires with dry wood that would not smoke and give away their location.

Melanie took to this new training like a duck takes to water. She was naturally secretive and suspicious of strangers. She moved so quietly with the ability to appear and disappear that she seemed like a ghost. She laughed when he told her that though.

Basically Tobal was an even tempered teacher and she was quick and eager to learn. After two weeks of training she had learned navigating by map and compass. While she was an expert with the sling, it took her a while to get her first deer with the bow, mainly because of the terrain they were traveling in.

She was now providing the food for both of them and learning to construct various shelters. It was mid July and there were plenty of berries to eat as well. They saw larger animals like deer, bear, cougar and mountain goats. It was certainly an area not occupied by anyone else.

After two weeks of wandering they found a small hidden canyon with it’s own small waterfall and plenty of game. It was a box canyon with only one entrance that was a narrow crack in a rock face. They only found it by accident when Melanie was checking places to set out snares for the night.

It was this remote little canyon that he decided to make his permanent base camp. They spent the remaining time building shelters. He finished his teepee and used the blanket material they brought as outer covering. Together they built a permanent smoker and rack for sun drying jerky in the hot summer sun and completed a sweat lodge they were both dying to try out.

One morning Melanie came running to him all excited. She had found a honey tree. It was a rare treat and Tobal knew it would make a big hit at circle if they could find a way to get the honey without killing the bees. In the end they covered themselves with poncho material and smoked the bees out reaching into the tree with heavily protected hands and arms. They took two canteen cups full of the rich honey comb and honey leaving the rest for later. Tobal wanted the bees to survive and keep a constant supply of honey available.

Time passed quickly, it was almost the full moon and they were far from the gathering spot. To make things even more complicated they would be coming into the gathering spot from the valley and not from the cliff trail most newbies entered on their first time into the area. He didn’t know how that was going to work out and decided to think about it later when they got closer to circle.

With a smirk of satisfaction he stepped around the boulder from the wide trail onto the narrow ledge and sat down to wait. He had decided the best course was to simply take her up the trail to where the guards would be waiting. He told her to wait five minutes before following him back down and thought the guards would understand what was going on. He passed the area where they had taken him without incident and felt things were going all right. He was totally unprepared for the blood curdling scream and sounds of struggle he heard coming from the other side of the boulder. He should have given her some kind of warning he realized. It was too late now.

Racing back around the boulder he saw Melanie standing with her back to the cliff face, a bloody knife in her hand and a crazed look on her face. She saw Tobal and flung herself into his arms sobbing hysterically and trembling violently.

“They attacked me.” She kept sobbing. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

One of the guards lay sprawled on the trail bleeding fiercely from a gash in his shoulder. Tobal recognized him as a Journeyman named Dirk. The dark haired girl was applying first aid to her fallen companion and ignoring Melanie as if she didn’t exist. The third guard was presumably running for assistance back to the camp.

Tobal held her shaking body keeping her steady until she cried herself out. He didn’t know what to do. Other guards would be coming soon and he was going to be in big trouble. He couldn’t think of anything to say and quietly led Melanie back down the trail. They heard the sound of running feet and moved quickly into the shadows as a group of six guards raced up the trail toward their fallen comrade.

Getting back on the trail they entered the camp and Tobal tried finding someone with a red robe that could straighten this whole mess out. He found Ellen, the High Priestess, by the circle and turned Melanie over to her. Melanie clung first to him as he tried to leave and then to Ellen for reassurance and safety after Ellen convinced her that every thing was going to be all right.

Tobal explained the situation to Ellen and Melanie was aghast and horrified to find out she had attacked and wounded someone that was only trying to initiate her into circle. She was furious at Tobal for setting the thing up and Ellen had to forcibly restrain her from attacking Tobal in her fury. Ellen took it in stride and chuckled a bit.

“You certainly have what it takes to belong to our clan,” she said. “Things will be alright. Don’t worry about it.”

When the guards came to get her Ellen suggested not to fight but go along with them peacefully for her initiation and entry into the clan. Tobal saw with amusement that Rafe was one of them and the dark haired girl another. There were six guards coming over to where Ellen, Tobal and Melanie were talking. Although some of the guards looked angry, Rafe was smiling. Tobal gave him a bear hug and couldn’t help but notice that Rafe flinched as if he were injured or hurt. But Rafe gave no sign anything was wrong and the guards took a peaceful and submissive Melanie to get ready for her initiation.

As they left Ellen turned to him with a grim look on her face and said, “I think you’ve got a little explaining to do to Zee and Kevin. They were looking all over for you after circle last month. I’ll be wanting to talk with you a bit later myself, ok?”

“Oh, damn!” he said. “I forgot all about them! When do you want to talk with me?”

“Sometime after circle.”

Word soon spread that Tobal’s newbie had skewered one of the guards on the way into camp. The guard was doing fine and in no danger. Most clansmen treated it as something that was highly funny but Tobal was not amused. Things had gone horribly wrong and someone could have been hurt or even killed and he felt responsible.

He was at the center of the circle proclaiming Melanie ready for her first solo when he noticed the red-haired girl, Becca, staring at him from the left side of the fire. Turning away, he continued talking and then resolutely returned to his sitting spot determined not to look in her direction again. He had seen the wonder and astonishment on her face and knew she was as surprised to see him as he had been to see her.

Tobal’s situation was unique in that he was acting as a sponsor bringing a person into the clan for the first time and at the same time proclaiming that person ready to solo on their own in less than a month. This was not a normal situation and Melanie’s escapade with the guards made a lively buzz of conversation around the camp as people congregated before the circle and chatted together. To his relief the elders approved her solo.

There were some farewells as some three year Masters left to become citizens. August was hot, very hot even in the mountains. He was thirsty and walked over to the beer barrel.

“Hi Nikki,” he said.

“Oh,” she looked startled and turned around toward him. “Hi.”

“Congratulations on soloing.”

“Thanks.” She said and bit her lip. For some reason she seemed a bit cool towards him.

“Is there anything wrong?”

“No,” she said, “ I’ve just got to get going. I want to train a newbie and need to get my things ready to leave early.” She turned and walked away from him.

“Good luck,” he said to her back as she walked away. There was something definitely wrong and it seemed to be him for some reason.

Moving over by the circle he saw Angel dressed in a black robe and was surprised that she was a Journeyman with three chevrons.

“I thought you were an Apprentice,” he told her. “When I saw you in sanctuary with your broken leg you were dressed in gray.”

“That was because of my injury,” she told him. “When I went through processing for treatment I was given the old gray stuff and my other clothes were ruined.”

They chatted for a bit and she was pleasant. It must just be the Apprentices that were pissed at him.

“Who is that dark haired girl with Dirk?” he asked suddenly. “I’ve been meaning to find out her name for two months now.” He blushed a bit.

Angel laughed. “That’s Misty, she’s only got one more fight to win before she makes Master. Perhaps she can fight you, get you ready for being a real Journeyman?” She winked.

Tobal was embarrassed and changed the subject. He always had trouble with girls and didn’t really know how to take them.

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The Rose

I listened to the dream of the rose,
The chaste, cool fragrance sprayed
From out of her passionate flower’s soul;
I listened to it with all of my senses,
And it intoxicated me.
 
She dreamed of the sun’s rays,
The days fermenting in her veins,
Nights nourishing her with dew and moonlight,
And wildly frothing for her through an ocean of air,
Of these she dreamed.
 
Yet she didn’t notice the golden beetle
That was laboriously climbing her chalice,
Writhing in intoxication from her perfume,
Stabbed to death by her ardent passion;
She didn’t notice.
 
So the rose shown forth in chaste splendor,
Enjoying her ardent passion and laughed:
“I have the most glorious of souls, I.
I am certainly the queen,
Of my sister flowers!”
 
And a steel blue butterfly came whizzing by,
That buzzed and cooed of love,
Who graciously inhaled her perfume: and left,
Otherwise her radiant womb would be its grave.
“I am the bride of the light!”
 
Yet when the third afternoon came,
Since I had taken up the dream of the rose,
Her queenly head hung there,
Bowed in the glare of the sun, dusty,
Stabbed to death by the hot light.

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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Chapter 10

Now that she was calmer and accepted the situation things went smoothly. He helped her go through her equipment and made sure she was wearing her med-alert bracelet. He explained about sanctuary, how the food and water were safe to drink but really nasty tasting and how everything was calculated to encourage people to leave as soon as possible.

Tobal showed her the compass and map and which items were more important than others were. He advised her to grab a couple extra blankets off the beds and showed how to pack everything tightly into a pack that she could carry.

He decided to wait out the rain. There was no sense traveling in such bad weather and he spent one more day at sanctuary getting to know Melanie and teaching her how to use the supplies. He explained about the maps and compass and how to read them. On the morning of the 2nd day the rain had stopped and it promised to be mild and clear. The sun was shining. The air was fresh and clear. It was a perfect day for traveling and he started by having her triangulate their location and finding it on the map.

In high spirits they headed straight for the lake cross country to the South East where his main camp was. Melanie was leading the way and tying knots in her cord every ½ mile. Since her steps were shorter than Tobal’s she used a higher number of steps before tying the knot but the principle was the same.

Things didn’t go as smoothly as they had when training with Rafe, especially since he had lost most of his emergency supplies in the flash flood. They did not have much food in reserve and at first needed to rely heavily on the nasty tasting stuff they brought with them from sanctuary.

Melanie proved a quick student with an animal instinct toward self preservation and survival. Tobal made a walking stick for her and showed her how to use it. As they traveled toward the lake he taught her many of the things Rafe had taught him. He taught about testing food to see if it was edible and collecting herbs as they went along. She caught on to snares with an uncanny sense of how animals thought and where they made their trails.

More times than not it was Melanie’s snare or trap that held the rabbit or quail and not Tobal’s. She turned out to be a much better trapper than he was. He comforted himself with the thought they had plenty of meat and spent a few days smoking jerky and building up their emergency food supply.

Melanie proved to be a natural with a sling and said she played a lot of baseball as a kid. She was already skilled in archery, which she learned in high school. She had been on the school archery team.

There were less than 24 days until the next gathering and Tobal wondered if Melanie would be ready. He suspected she would given how fast she caught on to things. He would know for sure by the gathering and pushed the thought out of his mind.

As they drew near base camp his spirits rose and he began describing the beautiful place he had found. She was a good listener and never seemed to tire of his stories and descriptions. Tobal was a good instructor and leader. All thoughts of Becca Morgan were forced out of his mind by the demands of teaching Melanie and he pushed her to the limit. Still there were nights he lay looking up at the stars wondering about and dreading the next gathering when he would see her again.

Melanie thrived in the outdoors environment. Her face became tanned and happy. Her body became hard, brown and sinewy. The bruises on her face disappeared and her laughter was infectious. She became relaxed and easy with herself and with Tobal. The only unusual thing was how she always seemed to have a knife in her hands, sharpening it, tossing it up and catching it, spinning it and even throwing it. Her speed was unnatural. Once they startled a quail at their feet. As it burst into flight she threw her knife with blinding speed and killed it. She took the tail feathers of the quail and wove them into a pretty necklace she wore around her neck. She said she would be making a cloak out of them one day and he believed her.

It was four days when they reached the lake. Tobal looked around his camp with a mixture of shock and grief. There was nothing left standing. It had been vandalized and burned until nothing was left. Two of his food caches had been plundered but luckily they hadn’t found the third in a hollow spot of an old tree and sealed with rocks for protection from squirrels and other animals. As they opened the cache and divided the food Melanie started a fire and began making supper. Tobal wandered the ruins in stunned disbelief with tears stinging his eyes wondering why anyone would have done this. Gradually grief gave way to intense anger that rolled in his belly and glinted harshly in his eyes. He started looking around the camp for signs of who had done this thing.

He found some tracks and sign but wasn’t good enough at reading them to discern much about what had really happened. Obviously three people had come along and destroyed the place. All of his hard work was gone and his supplies ruined. It was hard to tell what was missing or just scattered. He was able to retrieve a few tools. Everything else was a loss.

The attackers left no trail to follow. Not wanting to stay in the remains of the camp they set out around the shore of the lake. There was a waterfall at the far end of the lake where a mountain stream fed into the lake and Tobal wanted to explore that. He had noticed it on his first trip around the lake and something about it called to him. Now he wanted to check it out more closely.

The country was rough and they were careful to keep their own trail hidden. The next camps Tobal and Melanie made were small and well hidden. They now knew why no one else built anything on the lake. It was an obvious target for anyone going up or coming down stream. It was simply not safe and asking for trouble to build there permanently.

The end of the lake with the waterfall was very rocky and difficult to travel. There was no shore and the rock simply dropped down into the water. What Tobal had in mind was finding some way to go upstream and explore with Melanie a couple weeks until the gathering. Perhaps he could find a better place to set up a main camp. With this goal in mind they struggled through the maze of rock, boulders and vegetation until reaching the edge of the water on the left side of the waterfall.

The waterfall was thirty feet high and you could tell it was ancient since it had once been ten feet higher. Erosion by water in the stream bed caused the rock on both sides of the stream to rise like stone pillars hidden by pine trees and forest vegetation. It was a small stream only ten feet wide. The falling water arched over a narrow ledge that disappeared into blank stone wall at the other end of the fall. Where they stood the ledge opened into a small patio like area that was flat and free of rock. It was less than a foot higher than the lake and formed a deep pool.

The water fell into the lake with a roar and violence that made the water churn and froth, but on the side where they were standing the water was inviting and made just for swimming. There was a ledge slightly below the surface of the water so a swimmer could easily climb back out after diving into the icy water. Tobal probed the hidden ledge with his walking stick and the shock of discovery made icy chills explode at the base of his spine. It wasn’t a ledge at all. It was the first of at least three steps that had been deliberately carved into the rock leading down into the pool of water. This was something he needed to explore more deeply on his own later.

The discovery of the stone stairs made him more alert and he carefully examined the small patio area where they stood. Melanie shared his excitement and enthusiasm. She finally found what they both were looking for. The cliff face jutted out in a rough and uneven manner. She had been following the cliff face and turned a sharp corner that couldn’t be seen from the patio area. In a small recess there were distinct foot holes and hand holds carved into the face of the cliff leading up the cliff where they seemed to disappear.

Tobal was first up the cliff and pulled himself onto a wide ledge that wasn’t visible from below. He helped Melanie over the edge and they both looked around with interest. There was vegetation since top soil had collapsed from above and fallen down. Trees, shrubbery and vines found footholds in the small layer of top soil and clung desperately to the rock.

Near the trees a narrow crack in the cliff face formed a small chimney that could be climbed by pressing the body against one side and gradually working up the remaining fifteen feet to the top. They took off their packs and cut one blanket into strips, braiding it into a short rope they used to lift their packs up the chimney.

Grabbing onto foliage and tree roots Tobal pulled himself out of the rock chimney helped Melanie out and coiled the rope putting it into his pack. At the top the soil was heavier and the foliage more dense and almost impossible to get through. The ring of foliage gave way to pine trees and the footing got easier. He could see what looked like a clearing ahead and started toward it.

They broke into the open and looked around in wonder at what had obviously been a camp. There were the remains of permanent shelters and kitchen area. Near the river was a large circle ringed with stone seats that must have been used for ceremonies and initiations. Further up a small hill were the remains of a sweat lodge and beyond that a patch of volunteer corn was still coming up in patches after all these years. It must have been fifteen or twenty years since anyone had visited or used the camp.

A large cairn of rocks dominated the middle of the site and covered with offerings. They were a strange assortment of man made objects weathered and destroyed beyond recognition of what they once had been. There was a haunted feeling that struck him and he had the sudden conviction he was looking at a mass grave of those that once lived here.

This was the place he had been dreaming about. People had once held gatherings here just as they did at circle. What had happened? How and why had they died? Had they known his mother and father? Was this the place Sarah’s mother and two brothers were buried? A certainty deep in his gut told him that it was. All these questions were turning in his mind, but even more forcefully was the instinctive knowledge that they needed to get out of here fast. They couldn’t be found in this place.

He knew with sick certainty this was why no one was allowed to build camps near the lake. There was some secret hidden here that was meant to remain hidden. It was dangerous to stay because they could be tracked by their med-alert bracelets. Medics would be coming soon by air sled to check on them unless they got out of the area quickly.

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Twilight Hour
 
Sweet, blissful, magical, twilight hour!
In the fireplace a bright flickering light,
Joy flashes from out of your face,
Jokes spray from out of your red mouth.
 
Then only sparks glimmer here and there,
Jokes and laughter gradually become silent,
Wrapping everything in soft darkness,
Until you sink down into my heart.

-Mia Holm
translated by Joe Bandel

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The cheerful, easy piece of mind he had experienced during his solo was gone and he stumbled blindly along. The connection he had formed with nature was temporarily forgotten as the sun beat mercilessly down on him during the day and he slept on the hard ground during the night. The next two days it rained mercilessly and he narrowly avoided a flash flood that swept his camp away with most of his belongings.

Luckily he still had his map and compass in a pouch around his neck and was able to triangulate his position. He was wet, cold, tired and hungry as he trudged across a muddy terrain made slick in spots by red clay that clung to his shoes making every step a challenge. The water had filled his shoes and sloshed between his toes. He could feel blisters beginning to form on his heels from the chaffing.

When he arrived at sanctuary nobody was there. He was a disappointed but also very humbled that he had lost most of his supplies in the flash flood including his jerky. As he chewed down some of the nasty tasting stuff from the machine he resolved to wait right there until someone did show up. There were usually several new people each month that somehow arrived at sanctuary from where ever they came from. Remembering Rafe’s advice he stripped completely leaving his gear in a corner and went through the medical exam again getting a new set of robes, pack and med kit and most important fresh socks and a new pair of hiking boots.

Tobal thought about using the new robe as a rain coat or slicker and grabbed several blankets to take back to the lake as a covering for his teepee. He went through the contents of the new pack, med kit and found another knife, razor and toothbrush to replace those he had lost in the flood. He looked at his old wet hiking boots wondering whether he should keep them or not. Besides being soaked, they were almost worn out from the rugged life style of the past two months. He decided to hang onto them anyway. Boots were hard to come by in the wilderness and homemade ones just didn’t have the comfort of these heavy duty hiking shoes.

He was feeling satisfied with his pack and starting to feel better in general when he heard footsteps entering the building and a timid “Hello.”

He froze in the darkness waiting. There was a short silence and the footsteps continued until he heard the familiar mechanical voice saying.

“Do you seek sanctuary in the city of the sun?”

A timid female voice answered weakly, “Yes, I do.”

Tobal moved silently to the edge of the dark archway and looked into the other room. He saw a slight figure with her back toward him. She was entering the sliding door into the exam area.

Yesterday he had gone through the exam wearing his med-alert bracelet and it had been nothing like the two day processing he had gone through the first time. It had only taken about 3 hours before he emerged with his new clothing and gear. He knew it would be two days for this newbie to finish processing so he settled down to wait. The pouring rain continued and he assumed Zee and Kevin had decided not to travel in the storm and would be coming later after the weather had cleared.

It was around noon on the second day that a sure footed hulk came through the door dressed in the gray tunic of an Apprentice. It was a boy Tobal had seen at circle briefly but hadn’t talked to. He felt this hulking boy had been hostile toward both him and Rafe. Tobal remembered the boy’s name was Victor, but most people called him the Ox, probably because he was so slow and big. The Ox stopped and grinned when he saw Tobal.

“Anyone come in yet?” He asked.

“Yeah, someone’s processing right now,” Tobal replied.

The Ox padded over to him, his bulk towering over Tobal in a menacing way. He could see the five chevrons on the Ox’s sleeve and knew the Ox intended to claim this newbie for himself.

“You’d better run along little boy,” the Ox told him. “I’ll take care of this one.”

An icy feeling settled into Tobal’s gut. He felt sick and powerless to stop what was happening. The Ox was too big for him to take in a fight. He sat back on one of the cots without saying anything. A small flicker of triumph gleamed in the Ox’s eyes as he turned and went outside for his pack.

Moments later Tobal heard a door slide open and the girl, now dressed in a gray robe and carrying a bundle, stepped into the darker room where he sat waiting. As if on cue the Ox came stomping in and walked up to her. He roughly grabbed her arm.

“Come on, I’m your new teacher,” he growled. “Let’s get going.”
She shrank back obviously terrified and Tobal instinctively stood up without thinking.
“Wait a minute Ox,” he said. “I’ve been waiting here three days and I think you’re rushing things a little bit. She might prefer to go with me than go with you.”

His challenge stopped the Ox in his tracks.

“You still here scarface?” He asked, “You’d better run back to Rafe before I mess you up.”

“Why don’t we just explain the situation to the newbie,” said Tobal reasonably, “We can both talk to her and she can make her own decision about who she wants as a teacher.”

The Ox didn’t even wait. He spun and lurched over to where Tobal was standing, grabbed him by the tunic and threw him down on the floor. In disbelief Tobal narrowly missed being kicked in the face by a huge boot. This guy was really trying to hurt him! He rolled hastily to his feet and watched the Ox with fear in his eyes. There had been no real warning. Tobal was caught completely off guard by the viciousness of the attack and had no idea what to expect next. The Ox was obviously used to getting his own way and was coming around the end of the cot to close with him and give him a real pounding that could involve serious injury.

Instinctively Tobal’s hand went to his knife and he held it in front of him protectively with the edge upward. The Ox halted, shock registering on his face. He was obviously not used to being threatened with knives and didn’t know what to do about it.

Sensing an advantage Tobal took a quick step toward the Ox, waving the knife slightly.

“I said let’s talk to her. Let’s explain things to her and then let her decide.”

The Ox stood still, not moving, a nervous tick showed on his left cheek and his eyes were bulging. Like most bullies, the Ox was a coward at heart. He was clearly unprepared for any of this and didn’t know what to do. The silence built until his nerve broke, unwilling to challenge Tobal any further he spun away with a dangerous glint in his eye.

“I’ll remember this.” He said and stalked heavily out of the room.

Tobal turned toward the girl who was shrinking from him in fear. Then it occurred to him he was still brandishing the knife in a threatening way. He put the knife away blushing.

“Sorry about that,” he said in an embarrassed way. He felt a red flush creeping up his face making the muscles go tight and pulling the scar tissue making it stand out in the dim light. He was uncomfortably aware of how he must appear to this frightened girl.

“Sorry,” he said again weakly and sat down on the edge of a cot.
“It’s ok, don’t be afraid. I’m Tobal, What’s your name?” He asked trying to lighten the situation a little.

“Melanie,” she whispered. “I’ve come to seek sanctuary but they stole all my things!”

She burst into tears not able to take any more. Despite himself Tobal chuckled at the irony of the situation. Apparently she knew as little about sanctuary as he had when he first arrived a little over two months ago. He lay back on the uncomfortable cot and looked her over with interest. She was taller than he had first thought and came up easily to his shoulder. Her dark hair was straight and stringy and her face was thin and long but her eyes were dark brown and vulnerable right then. Her shoulders were shaking and she was obviously going through an ordeal.

“You’re not from around here are you?” He observed thoughtfully.

She whispered “No”, with a sad and lost look on her face that told him she didn’t really want to be here now either.

“Why did you come here then?” He asked.

Gradually her story came out. She had heard about the mysterious, Forbidden City of Heliopolis and of how anyone, no matter their race, religion or past could go there and claim sanctuary. There were rumors of time travel and witches circles and magick. She had run away from an abusive home to get here and now she was scared. She didn’t understand anything about this place.

“It’s not at all like I thought it would be,” she confessed tearfully.

“You ran away from home?” Tobal asked.

She blushed and her face went red to the roots of her dark brown hair. That’s when Tobal noted in the dim light the remains of a black eye and a yellowing bruise on the left side of her face. This girl was not a stranger to violence. He shuddered to think of her with the Ox as a teacher. She was seeking sanctuary in a totally different way than he had claimed sanctuary. He had been seeking for clues about his parents and their deaths. She was simply looking for a place of safety.

Not quite knowing how to begin. “This is kind of complicated,” he said at last.

“Sanctuary is not that easy and becoming a citizen takes a long time.” He began lamely. “You see, they don’t just let people into Heliopolis….”

She started to clench up and quiver at his words fighting back tears and he motioned her to keep quiet and let him finish. He tried a kindly smile and saw her flinch at his attempt.

“Heliopolis only grants citizenship to those that have proven themselves worthy of being citizens. Claiming sanctuary just means you are applying for citizenship and willing to prove your worthiness.”

He stopped as he realized she didn’t understand a word he was saying. He tried again.

“You just had a medical exam right?” She nodded. “You’ve also taken a bunch of tests and been given a pack with some clothing and a sleeping bag right?” again she nodded.

“What you are now expected to do is go out and prove that you can live off the land by yourself for an entire month.”

She looked at him in shocked disbelief. Her eyes were starting to widen in horror with dawning comprehension.

“You mean there is no sanctuary here?” She asked.

His face relaxed into a grin as he sat up once more on the hard cot.

“There is safety and sanctuary in a way. A group of us live outside the city in the wilderness. We have all claimed sanctuary, even Ox whom you already met. We are proving ourselves worthy of becoming citizens of Heliopolis. The requirements are completion of three degrees of work and study. The Apprentice degree is to learn how to survive alone in the wilderness for an entire month or 28 days, which is the moon cycle. You do this without any assistance from anyone else. Once you have soloed you are expected to train six other people to solo. Training these six people proves your mastery and ability to survive in the wilderness. Once these six people have soloed you are eligible for the Journeyman degree which we can talk more about later.”

“Ox has already trained five people to solo but I haven’t trained anyone yet. I just finished my own solo three days ago. I came here hoping to find someone to train.”

She was much more curious now and attentive to what he was saying.

“Ox came here to find someone to train and we had a little personality clash as you noticed”, He grinned ruefully. “At least I’m still alive! I thought he was a little too offensive for my taste.” He looked at her solemnly and said, “I’d be glad to teach you the survival skills needed to solo and receive the Apprentice degree if you would like.”

She looked at him with a glint of humor in her eyes and a light smile on her face.

“I’d like that very much Mr. Tobal,” she said.

“Tobal,” he replied, “Tobal.”

“Mr. Tobal,” she said, “ I like your style.”

“Drop the “Mr.,” he said, “just Tobal, ok?” They both laughed.

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White Dog Roses

Behind the monastery lies a garden,
That belongs to the old, noble family
Of Capri,  to Nikola Vuoto.
 
And you must go through his garden,
If you want to get to the Saracen tower,
The Marelatto, that clings to the side of a cliff.
 
But if you are careful, stranger, you can climb up
On a steep goat path that leads down to the sea:
And throw heavy stones at Vuoto.
 
Be careful as well in the rock tower,
If you step on the wrong flagstone,
You will plummet down into the blue waves.
 
—Until you are there take off your shoes, stranger,
Lay your stockings aside and take your knife,
Scratch your soles and heals,
 
So that the blood lightly oozes:
The blood will cling to your feet
And to the smooth stones of the Castiglione.
 
You only need to climb a little higher
And you will see growing on the steep cliff walls
A bush of white dog roses.
 
Stick to it, stranger, look only at the roses,
Don’t cast one look down below,
Where the blue sea temptingly cavorts,
 
Where many blonde German youth have already
Dashed out their brains on the salty rocks,
Mixing red blood with deep blue.
 
—Oh, I lift my clear headed gaze,
To greet the sun in the sea, rejoicing,
Rejoicing, as I pluck my white roses!
II
 
If you climb up a few steps from the piazza,
You can see Santa Teresa,
The palace of Bourbon times.
 
Just ask there for the Signore,
And they will lead you into a cool hall,
Everyone knows the invalid Herrn of the Villa.
 
In earlier days he rode on fast horses,
A leader of one of the lusty dragoons
That rushed charging through the fields of France.
 
In earlier times he fought well with a sharp saber,
Which he waved in front of his squadron
Of Italians, giving the order to attack—
 
But today he goes on his way sedately,
In the most beautiful place on this beautiful earth,
Living for his art and for his dreams.
 
Stranger, if you see his pale cheeks,
Greet him from a German poet,
Whom he once led through his hall,
 
Who loved the fine features of his head,
His long narrow hands,
And the deep silence of his villa.
III
Slowly I went back to Santa Teresa,
I carried my white dog roses
Into the coolest of its cool halls.
 
I carried water in a polished lava vase,
In the deep silence of this villa
And sat alone with my white roses.
 
Strange!—my dog roses laughed,
In the wondrous deep silence
They chuckled in exalted innocence!
 
But this laugher sounded like crying,
—crying without tears, foolish crying,
Like the sounds of silly children’s songs,
 
Silly songs, like the “Five Barrisons”
Had once sung, at the winter garden
In Berlin in front of witty Berliners.
 
The same way Salome danced in the Pomare:
—for the head of John the Baptist!—
This exalted innocence was cruel!
 
She was cruel, as if even her nerves
Felt the sweet tickle of desire,
Of wanton thirst, this woman of antiquity,
 
Even though no surge of blood
Raced through her thin arms
And no light flickered in her eyes.
 
Her cruelty was white as marble,
White, like her silky baby soft clothing,
White, like my dog roses are!
 
And she shook her alluring little head,
Clasped her hands together, leaped, curtsied,
And her narrow, pale lips smiled:
 
“Daddy wouldn’t buy me a Bow, Wow, Wow,
Daddy wouldn’t buy me a Bow, Wow, Wow.
So I’ve got a little cat
And I’m very fond of that,
But I’d rather have a Bow, Wow, Wow!”
 
—Yes, she sang and her lips smiled,
But her laughter sounded like crying,
Like the crying of my dog roses.
 
Ask, why are you crying?—then the roses laugh.
Through the wondrous deep silence
They chuckle in exalted innocence.
 
Laughter without desire and crying without
Tears.—their song echoes strangely,
Their silly foolish children’s song,
 
Through the cool halls, these thin,
Pale dog roses strangely sway,
In white exalted innocence.
 
—tell me, why are they laughing?

-Hanns Heinz Ewers
translated by Joe Bandel

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Chapter 9

The next day continued at a luxurious pace. For the first time there was no hurry or pressing matter. He indulged in curiosity and took exploratory hikes away from the stream to check out interesting and promising areas that from time to time caught his attention.

There was plenty of small game and he was always able to knock down some bird or animal for a quick meal. He never thought about using his bow. He had no need for that much meat and didn’t want to waste the time curing and drying it into jerky.

As long as he was following the stream he didn’t have to worry about getting lost or even using the map and compass. All he had to do was keep going downstream. There were actually a few times when it was raining that he would set up camp for a few days in the same spot and just sit out the bad weather. It was so peaceful and beautiful that one day led to the next. There was no pressure to perform and no Rafe to challenge him or push him harder.

He loved setting his own pace and being his own boss. He moved as the spirit moved him and his solo was more like a vacation than actual work.

When he arrived at the lake he made one spot a semi-permanent base and spent two weeks at the lake just fishing, exploring and working on his clothing and equipment. The lake was good sized and fed by several mountain streams. Tobal spent several days just exploring around it and enjoying the colorful sun sets in the evening.

But nights were not restful and his dreams were filled with dark, menacing visions of people being killed and bodies being piled into mass graves. The Lord and Lady never came to him and it seemed the dead walked in his dreams instead of the living.

Game was plentiful and he started a permanent camp similar to Rafe’s. No one seemed to be at this particular location but he did run across the remains of old camp fires and a few shelters. There was nothing recent. He saw many deer with young and the bear had come out of hibernation. He saw one mother bear with cubs and gave it a wide berth. Spring was the natural time for most wild species to give birth and nourish their young. Many of them at one time or another came down to the lake for water usually in the early morning or late evenings just before sunset. One morning he even saw a cougar or mountain lion on the opposite shore of the lake.

It seemed like birds were everywhere and he learned to listen to the forest and what it was telling him. There were times when it was noisy and times when it was almost too quiet. At night the trees would creak and sway in the wind and he would hear night creatures prowl around the camp in the darkness. It had not bothered him when Rafe had been there to talk to. But being alone in the woods was a lot different than being with someone. He thought maybe his dark dreams were getting to him.

Tobal thought about the time he would have to teach six other people to solo just like Rafe had done. He didn’t know if he wanted to teach anyone yet. It would be much more fun to explore and develop a permanent camp. Perhaps he would take his newbies down into this area. With that in mind Tobal began building his own teepee shaped structure. He could get the blanket material from sanctuary later after the framework was completed.

He began setting up things he had seen at Rafe’s, a smokehouse, a rack for drying jerky, a sweat lodge, and several traps for fish and for quail. These were spares for later in the winter months since he didn’t need them right now. It didn’t take him long to realize that he needed more cord and string. He also wished he had something heavier than a knife to cut wood with. A good axe would come in handy. He remembered the one he had seen at the store in Old Seattle and tried making one like it. It turned out better than he had expected and he used it to chop smaller trees for his shelters.

The days passed and once or twice he reflected it was strange he wasn’t missing human companionship. He wasn’t even feeling lonely, just surrounded by a deep peaceful feeling, at least during the daytime. Before he knew it the month was almost up and it was time to head for the gathering spot once more. It was almost full moon. The clan would be having circle and they would be expecting him back.

He gathered enough smoked fish, rabbit and venison jerky to last several weeks. He could supplement that with anything fresh he found along the trail. He hated to leave the lake. He loved to watch the ducks, geese, beaver, muskrats and all the other animals that visited the lake and called it home. He even toyed with the idea of staying, but it was time to go and he knew he would be back.

As Tobal neared the gathering spot he saw others heading toward the circle. When they waved he felt like he was indeed coming home. Nobody else whistled as they approached the camp and they laughed at him. He asked why and was told there were no guards except on the trail that led from sanctuary. Newbies were only to come into camp from that path. After they had joined the clan there was no need for a guard. It was just part of the initiation. Tobal felt silly and wonder why Rafe never told him that part of it. He remembered Rafe laughing at him the last time they had come to circle when he had been constantly whistling. It was so like Rafe to let him figure things out for himself.

He was in high spirits as he helped set up the structures and gather firewood for the bonfire. He was enjoying being treated as an equal and kept busy throughout the day. He was feeling good when his friends showed up congratulating him on his solo.

He talked with Nikki, she had completed her training with Zee and the Elders approved her for soloing this month. She was excited about it. Tobal made sure to give her a kiss for good luck. Nikki was a stocky well built brunette with an infectious sense of humor and an impulsiveness that got her into trouble at times but she always managed to get out of it just as quickly.

“Hey, don’t I get one too?” Zee asked pouting and tossing her braided raven hair back over her shoulder.

Tobal moved over and gave her a big hug and a kiss. “How have you been?” He teased. “I’ve been doing quite well thank you.” She laughed. “I’m heading out for sanctuary in the morning. You want to come along? It’s always more fun traveling together than alone.” She smiled.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he said. “How early are you planning to start out?”

“The sooner the better,” she replied. “How about sunrise?”

“I’ll see if I can get up that early,” he griped and they both smiled.

He walked over and found out Kevin was going to try for a newbie and hoped there would be enough newbies for everyone. They congratulated each other on their solos and told stories about how it had went. Kevin was pretty excited.

When Rafe showed up it was kind of odd because he was alone and didn’t have anyone with him. After a warm hug, Rafe told him that he had been going around visiting people and taking it easy. He would be getting his sixth chevron at the awards and his initiation as Journeyman in two weeks. He was a bit nervous but excited at the same time.

Later at afternoon assembly introductions were made for Tobal, Kevin and the four other newly soloed Apprentices. They were brought out in front of the circle to the sound of cheering, good natured applause and joking.

The next to be brought forward was Rafe. Rafe and another boy who had been Kevin’s teacher were both eligible for the Journeyman degree. They were called to the front as the sixth chevron was sewn onto their sleeves amidst joking and laughter. The Journeyman degree initiation was going to be on the new moon in two weeks. The location was marked on both of their maps. It was a secret location that the Apprentice degrees didn’t know about.

He chatted with Wayne and Char for a bit before sunset. They were building a permanent base camp and planned on spending the winter together. That got Tobal thinking about the coming cold weather and how he needed to get prepared and make some changes in his training. He resolved to pick up his winter gear he had cached at Rafe’s on the way back to circle next month. He thought he would be ok for this month and the furs were not prime yet.

He visited with Tara for awhile. She was concentrating on building a base camp and getting ready for the coming winter. She was hoping to find someone to share camp with and was disappointed when Tobal said he was planning to train during the winter.

The bon fire was lit and word came around that there was going to be several Apprentice initiations and Ellen wanted to get started early. Tobal almost forgot about it until he heard one of the guards boom out.

“Becca Morgan is welcomed into our clan as a new member.” Along with the others, he was caught up in the shouting, applause and craning his neck to get his first view of this new member of the clan.

As the High Priestess and High Priest began the initiation ceremony Tobal found himself remembering parts although some things seemed reversed. Then he realized the High Priest was doing the initiating and not the High Priestess. They had reversed roles because of Becca being female. It seemed the High Priestess only initiated male candidates and the High Priest initiated female candidates.

Tobal was admitted into the circle by the High Priestess with a hug and a kiss and found a place to sit on the northern side of the circle. He sat with others as the circle was purified and made ready for the candidate.

Everyone sat back in anticipation as Becca was led out hood winked with both hands tied behind her back. Her guide was the same dark haired girl that had been his guide and he still didn’t know her name. He was going to have to ask someone. As Becca was initiated Tobal found himself staring at her. Her tunic had been cut so short he could almost see where her slender white legs joined together beneath the cloth and he found them incredibly attractive.

He was watching the candidate or rather watching her legs as the charge was read and began reliving in his own mind the particulars of his own initiation. He could feel the energy building within the circle and he sensed the presence of the Lord and Lady as they took their accustomed places over the central fire.

When the drums started and it was time to move around the circle and build the cone of power he found himself dancing clockwise with the others. As he touched her shoulder and gently turned her it felt like a spark raced up his arm and then down his spine. He felt thrilled and uncomfortable at the same time. What was going on? He was obviously aroused and attracted by this unknown girl. He could even feel how she must feel as the focus of all this energy.

His elation turned to shock and horror as the Priest took the hoodwink off Becca and her face was exposed to the fire light of the circle. As she blinked, he saw it was the face of the girl that almost clawed his eyes out a year ago. She was being initiated into his clan and his circle as a sister.

Stunned and hurt, he got through the rest of the ceremony by retreating so deeply into his own thoughts and inner anguish he hardly realized what was going on within the circle. He sat through three other initiations in a stupor. Later when the party started Tobal made a pretense of having a good time but soon slipped away and nobody seemed to notice he was gone.

Tobal didn’t know if anyone had missed him. He left that evening and struggled his way up the cliff leading back to sanctuary. He was well on his way along the narrow cliff ledge as the sun came up and shed it’s light into the valley. He didn’t want to talk with anyone. All he wanted to do was get away and be alone for awhile. His gut was churning with a mixture of raw emotions.

It wasn’t fair. This was his clan, his circle, his people, and his friends. For Goddess sake, he was in the middle of the wilderness attempting to become a citizen of a Forbidden City. What was the likelihood she would be doing the same thing? The world simply wasn’t that small.

He was in a numbed state as he made his way toward sanctuary for the first time. The trip was a blur and he didn’t remember much. He ate from his own food supplies and didn’t bother hunting for anything but water for his two canteens.

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Pro Domo
 
Who desires applause, requires skill!
Whether man’s work, whether a children’s book:
The artist is as old as the world.
That is his blessing; that is his curse.
When he errs as a young dandy,
He still errs with ancient understanding.

-Richard Dehmel
translated by Joe Bandel

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Then he took the bowl of consecrated salt from the High Priestess as she picked up the bowl of consecrated water. They faced each other and he poured the salt slowly into the bowl of water and set his empty bowl down on the altar. He stayed there as the High Priestess set her bowl on the altar and began casting the circle with her knife. She started in the north west corner of the circle directly where Tobal and the others were standing and moved deosil walking the perimeter of the circle saying.

May this circle be a meeting place of love, joy and truth. Shield us against evil, protect us and direct the power we shall raise tonight. In the name of the Lord and Lady, So mote it be.”

The High Priest joined her as they both came back to the circle entrance. With her knife she opened a pathway for them to enter the circle. Then she and the High Priest began to admit members into the circle with a hug and kiss spinning them clockwise into the circle. The High Priestess greeted the males and the High Priestess greeted the females into the circle until everyone was within the circle and seated.

The entry was sealed and the High Priest took the bowl of water and started at the North signal fire behind the altar sprinkling it with the water and salt mixture. He continued around the circle stopping at each quarter sprinkling the water and salt mixture intoning.

“I purify you with water.”

Coming once more to the North he continued around the circle sprinkling each member with water and blessing him or her.

As he was doing this a different Master in a red cloak took up a smoking smudge of sage and stopped at each quarter waving the smoking smudge saying.

“I purify you with air.”

She continued around the circle blessing and purifying each circle member.

Another Master took a flaming torch from the central bonfire and purified the circle and members with fire. Only the High Priestess and High Priest had their hoods down. The other red cloaked figures had large hoods that covered their faces and hid their identities. Tobal only recognized Ellen as the HighPriestess.

The High Priestess went to the East of the circle and drew an invoking pentagram of air with her knife.

“Watchtowers of the East, powers of air. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving along the edge of the circle to the South Quarter she traced a matching invoking pentagram of fire in the air in front of the signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the South, powers of fire. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the west she traced an invoking pentagram of water in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the west, powers of water. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Moving to the North she traced an invoking pentagram of earth in front of that signal fire.

“Watchtowers of the North, powers of Earth. I call upon you to be with us tonight.”

Tobal suddenly felt an electrical tension that filled the circle. It was a powerful energy but also quiet and balanced. He sensed each of the four energies and wondered at their uses.

Returning to the altar in the North, the High Priestess made the sign of the cross and turned with her back facing the altar. Her robe slipped to the ground displaying her naked body in the fire light.

The High Priest with his right fore finger touched her right breast, left breast, womb, and back up to her right breast making a downward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lady that is deep within you and has always been within you from the birth of your physical body and from the birth of your eternal soul. Join us in peace and love within our circle and give us your blessings.”

The High Priest stepped back and waited silently. The High Priestess opened her eyes and Tobal could swear it was not the same person. Her eyes and voice took on a power and authority that filled the entire circle.

“Let there be Love.”

Slowly they traded places and the High Priest stood with his back to the altar and his robe slid to the ground exposing his hard and muscled figure. The High Priestess with power and authority touched him first on the center of the forehead, then the left shoulder, the right shoulder and back to the forehead once more making an upward pointing triangle.

“I invoke and call upon the eternal Lord that is deep within you and has always been within you since the birth of your physical body and the birth of your immortal soul. Join us in energy and light within our circle and give us your blessings.”

Then she stood back and waited. The High Priest opened his eyes and responded spreading his arms wide in blessing.

“Let there be Light!”

Tobal could feel energy filling the circle. It was charged with a type of static electricity and was feeling hot and stuffy, almost a little uncomfortable. He also felt the presence of the Lord and Lady within the High Priest and High Priestess and wondered at it.

The High Priestess and the High Priest then stood side by side facing the East holding hands as she intoned the charge of the Lord and Lady as he first heard it during his initiation.

He felt deeply stirred at the memory and suddenly he could see and feel both the Lord and Lady leaving the High Priest and High Priestess and taking their place above the central fire. He sensed them in his mind looking down in blessing and filling the circle with love, peace and healing. It seemed they looked directly toward him and smiled in welcome.

Then the drums began and members began to dance deosil around the circle. Tobal joined reluctantly at first and then with growing passion. They danced slowly and then more wildly as the energy level rose. The drums beat more rapidly and the dancers became crazed throwing off robes and dancing naked in the fire light. They leapt and sang in ecstasy moving around the fire alone and as partners, loosing themselves to the beat and rhythm of the drums. Tobal gave himself to the pounding rhythm and to the Lord and Lady. He was dancing for them.

The drums beat faster and faster until the dancers were sweat streaked but showing no sign of stopping. A sudden signal from the High Priestess brought complete and abrupt silence to the entire circle as everyone turned and looked at her. The tension and energy in the circle was overpowering.

“Lord and Lady,” she shouted, “We ask you to send your blessings and our blessings out to those in special need this night. We especially ask you to bless and assist those that are about to solo. Be with them and guide their steps so they may return successfully to us in a month’s time. So mote it be!”

“So mote it be,” the entire circle replied and Tobal felt such a wave of energy and love wash over him that he was swept out of his body and up once more into the arms of the Lady, this time as a baby. She gazed lovingly into his eyes as his consciousness faded away.

Tobal woke as someone helped him back to the edge of the circle where his robe was laying. The circle felt empty, the energy was gone although he still felt it inside himself. That wasn’t the end though because Nikki’s initiation began. Again he experienced the build up of energy, only this time it was directed at Nikki. Again in his minds eye he saw the Lord and Lady taking their place above the central fire.

Later there were people standing in relaxed bunches around fires drinking and eating. Instinctively he knew the circle had done some powerful magick that night and that his solo would be blessed.

This was quite different from the wild party he had experienced last month. There was a feeling of joy, friendship and goodwill as people joked and talked with each other helping themselves to enormous quantities of food and drink. They gradually moved into small groups to quietly sit together and talk far into the night. He made a special point of welcoming Nikki into the clan.

He spent time chatting with Zee and noticed Angel was back from sanctuary. She was limping slightly but otherwise seemed to be doing well. He met another Apprentice named Tara. He had noticed her dancing and made a special point to meet her. Wayne and Char were both there laughing at some of the stories Rafe was telling. It was a good party and he felt warm and happy when he finally made his way to bed.

Tobal’s solo wasn’t the way he envisioned it. He left circle on the 2nd morning when everyone else was leaving. He had decided to explore some country that he hadn’t visited before and wanted to find a place with adequate water. He was also interested in finding an area where he could set up a permanent base camp. To his surprise, he wasn’t interested in the solo. He was interested in exploring.

With those two things in mind he decided to head south and see what the country was like. His map showed a small lake about a hundred miles South. He wanted to check it out and do some exploring. It was out of the area he was expected to stay within but there were no hard rules about where he could and couldn’t go. His vision of the Lord and Lady seemed to be directing him and pulling him toward that lake for some reason. He had noticed it on the map before but it was only since last night he really felt compelled to see it on his own.

Somehow the energy of the circle last night had changed something inside of him and altered his plans about where he was going to solo. Still it felt right and he headed east until he found a small stream that emptied into the lake. With a light heart he whistled as he started out. The day was bright and shiny. He kept on the lookout for things to eat and made a leisurely camp near the stream. It was late May and the weather was a little chill in the evening but wonderful during the day.

After setting up a shelter and gathering fire wood for the night he roasted a rabbit he had gotten with a sling earlier in the day. As it was roasting he brought the last firewood into the camp. He was hoping for fresh fish in the morning and set out fish traps. Earlier he had stopped by one of his caches and brought some smoked jerky from the deer he had killed.

He mixed some of the jerky with greens and made hearty soup that went well with the rabbit. It really hit the spot. He had gotten salt at circle last night and used it sparingly in the food. It was wonderful.

These daily activities were so routine for him that he didn’t really think about them anymore. He was thinking instead about the territory up ahead. Staying alive and having enough food was not a concern thanks to Rafe’s excellent training.

He settled in under the blankets, the crackling of the fire in his ears and firelight flickering against his face. In his minds eye he could see the Lord and Lady watching over him and he wondered at his feeling of being protected. Feeling surrounded in love and peace he fell into an easy sleep waking only to tend the fire as it burned low.

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Your Memory
 
Your loving clear eyes
Greet me from the far distance,
Softly shimmering across to me,
Like bright stars through the fog.
 
I think of you, so return again,
In fairytale brilliance and childhood dreams;
A wind whispers through my soul,
Like through the green trees in the forest.

-Mia Holm 1900
translation by Joe Bandel

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