Anarchistbanjo's World

As I continue with my personal story about soulmate cycles and divine counterparts there will be a few detours to make some things more clear. Please bear with me as all of this is important and you will understand more completely later as we deal with higher things.

I mentioned that my Rosicrucian studies were one of the factors leading to my early nervous breakdown in my early twenties. Since I didn’t know what to believe any more I decided to believe everything to the best of my ability if at all possible! I would let the still small voice of my conscience and my heart give the final verdict. Unknown to me at the time this was a major component of chaos theory: All inputs are valid!

But studying one monograph a week was way too slow for me and I devoured as many books on spirituality and the spiritual path as I could find. For many years I spent well over $500/year on books and resources in the area of new age metaphysics and cutting edge self empowerment.

I began with alternative Rosicrucian material by Manly Hall and Max Heindel not knowing what made them different from the Rosicrucian Order AMORC. From there I went on to study astrology and the works of the Theosophical Society with authors such as C.W. Leadbeater, Alice Bailey and H.P. Blavatsky. From there I moved on to Edgar Caycee, Ruth Montgomery and Jane Roberts and the Seth Material. Jane Roberts and the Seth Material was one of my greatest early influences and I still have Vols I&II of The Unknown Reality.

Soon I had graduated to the self hypnosis work of Dick Sutphen and was listening to self hypnosis tapes on past life regressions and positive programing techniques. I purchased the Hypnosis Training Seminar, a collection of twelve cassettes that were recorded during a three day Hypnosis Training Seminar and many other individual cassettes. I did attend a Dick Sutphen human potentials seminar later in Phoenix Arizona. Dick Sutphen was also an early major influence. From there I was led to NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programing which is a powerful derivation of hypnosis and altered state technology. I have six highly valued books on NLP on my library shelf. The problem I had with NLP and hypnosis is that if reprogramming can be so simple, it can also be undone just as simply! I was looking for something more permanent and stable…

A person shared his story of the graduation ceremony of becoming a NLP trainer. The entire group walked barefoot twenty feet through a glowing bed of hot coals without getting burned. When I asked if he thought he could repeat it, or if it was the belief of the entire group that made it possible, he thought that it had been the belief of the entire group that made it possible.

I mention hypnosis because I’ve discovered that much of what passed for magic was actually some form of hypnotic suggestion. But things get a little weird here and it is also obvious that we can do much more in altered states than we are led to believe. Consider that the stage hypnotist can create blisters on the skin of a subject by suggesting that it is a cigarette burn. The blister will actually appear and then later disappear when you tell the subject that it will go away. Walking through a bed of hot coals is obviously not simple suggestion, but something else entirely. We also have reports of medical miracles that can’t be explained such as sudden remission of cancer in certain people after a sudden healing. Dion Fortune talked about magical societies using hypnotic trance states and mediums to communicate over great distances with other lodges…

Remember that I was a head tripper after my nervous breakdown and no longer accessed my emotions for much of anything. I was obsessed with the spiritual and mystical path and wanted to commit spiritual suicide by merging with Source and disappearing forever…

Back tracking a bit…Everyone thought that I would go to college after I graduated from High School but my father told me in no uncertain terms that I would not go to college, but would go to some vocational school and learn a trade so that I could earn my living by the sweat of my brow like it said in the Bible. My self esteem and ego was not strong enough to stand up for myself and I went to vocational school to become an electrician. I went to vocational school for two years and worked as an electrician for five years. It was the hardest work I had ever done and I was treated as if I was an idiot because working with my hands didn’t come easily to me. I was treated so badly that I finally quit and resolved to go to college no matter what my father thought…

After getting an associate degree at the local community college I went to St. Cloud State University and enrolled in their Germany exchange program where I spent the best six months of my life in West Germany. More on that in my next post…

As my spiritual journey progressed I found myself isolating more and more from others and focusing almost entirely on Source.