Anarchistbanjo's World

“It hurts but it’s the right thing.” Was the only thing I could say to my psychologist about how I felt about my wife taking our kids and abandoning me in Phoenix. Luckily I had some money from my tax refund and spent it on Dianetics Book I auditing. I have a lot of respect for Dianetics and Scientology and think they are getting a bad rap. Having said that, it was a bit difficult to leave them once I was done with them…

After many hours of auditing I managed what is called a Dianetics Release, meaning that I had worked through the available material that was possible. This was not a clear by any means, but I needed some time before doing any more auditing. I had some money left so I took a few classes as well. It was all excellent material. I happen to have the full eighteen book set of Scientology books in my library and someday I hope to get through them all. They were given to me and I don’t have any clue how much money they represent but it must be a lot.

With the help of Book 1 auditing I was able to sort things out to where I understood that if something hurts it means there is something wrong! I was finally able to say that “I’m glad my wife is gone. It breaks my heart to be away from my children…”

Book 1 Dianetics auditing as far as I’m concerned is a derivative of Sigmund Freud’s free association which is a very powerful, but time consuming, therapy in it’s own right. Briefly stated in Book 1 auditing one sits quietly in a chair or couch and goes along the timeline back in memory to a painful memory or incident. You are asked to relive that incident as an observer and detail it over and over until there are no longer any emotions associated with it. At that point the memory moves from reactive memory into normal memory. Then you are asked to once more go back in time to an earlier memory in which you felt the same kind of pain and the process would begin all over again.

Repressed painful memories are trapped within the cells them selves and cause energy blockages within the human body. These blockages are called engrams and several painful memories are stacked one upon the other from oldest to the newest creating massive blockages of repressed emotional energy which can cause stress as well as all types of illness. The basic idea is to get back to the original engram and release the trapped emotional energy so that it becomes free energy that can be used by the body for other constructive things. I’ve already mentioned how astral activity on the lower levels requires enormous amounts of energy and you can never have enough. This is how Scientologists free up existing energy…

I would have continued with Scientology except I discovered something even better…Using tantric sex practices soon proved that two drawn out orgasms per day automatically blasted through engrams with such power that it was almost violent! The reason that I continued working with sexual orgasm energy twice a day for seven years was simply because of the way it was blasting through these engrams or pockets of repressed emotional energy! I was healing old wounds…I wanted to become whole again! I was tired of being fragmented…

What I discovered was that first you must heal old wounds which leaves you with scars…then you need to heal the scars… then you need to heal the empty places where you didn’t learn it right the first time…then and only then would the energy become available for magical use in a creative way depending upon which type of chakra energy it was.

In other words each chakra center held wounds that needed to be healed and I was working my way down from the top. After over thirty years I’ve healed the original wound which was the deepest. It was the wound I suffered from the emotional abandonment which I received from my mother when I was young. Sadly I passed that same emotional abandonment onto my own children as so many of us do. I was not there for them as they were growing up and I will regret that for the rest of my entire life. The existing relationship that I do have with my children is limited, but a good one…I try to be supportive of them and try to be there if they ever want to share…often they don’t.