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The Rebirth of Melchior Dronte by Paul Busson and translated by Joe E Bandel

And when I thought of it, it shook me coldly. I quickly
went up to the sleeping mortuary attendant, grabbed him by the
shoulder and called out:
“Wake up, man! Robbers are outside –“
The peasant, who was wearing a coarse shillelagh,
jumped up and looked at me in alarm.
“Where?” he slurred.
“Outside,” I said again and closed the door behind me. I
heard him quickly slam the heavy latch shut.
As soon as I stood outside in the breeze, crooked fingers
clawed at my tattered coat, two eyes shone like brass, and from
a black gaping mouth he bleated:
“Throw them away; throw them away from you all at
once!”
“What do you mean, cursed one, that I should throw
them away?” I shouted in his face.
“Our Lord Christ’s cross -?”
Fangerle bent back as if I had struck him in the face,
twisted and turned like a worm and began to run, cross-country.
The wind raced behind him, whistling and whirled up his
coattails, and as he was carried away into the twilight, it
seemed to me as if instead of him a giant bird with black wings
soared over the furrows, just as owls fly. I stood without money,
abandoned and damp from the dew on the lonely road.
But then I remembered the satchel with the soul mice.
Who was screaming so miserably in the hunting bag of the evil
one -? The evil one!
A paralyzing fright crept into my legs. Calling on the
name of God a hundred times, I went towards the next place
and did not dare to look around.

The gypsies, with whom I had long been walking, the
brown Romi, as they called themselves, had wandered back
across the border, and I had to separate from them, if I did not
want to be married by the provost to the rope maker’s daughter.
My misery was boundless. Here and there I found some
work and food in the farms, I even received a damaged piece of
clothing that was even better than my rags, but most of the time
I was starving and freezing to death. One day I was lucky and
found half a loaf of bread on a country lane, which had been
lost from a cart. And when I saw the ruins of a castle on a
mighty, wooded hill, I decided to light a fire in a hidden place
in the walls, so that I would not have to spend the icy winter
night without the comfort of close warmth.
After some climbing around in the rocks I soon found a
still fairly preserved vault, on the whitewashed wall of which
still the remains of Al Fresco paintings could be seen. Among
other paintings also the wedding of Cana was depicted (as I
could see from the remains of clothing and heads, as well as
the large, ancient wine jugs), and when I saw the mural, which
was in a bad state of disrepair, I noticed that one of the wine
jugs bore the barely legible inscription:
“Hic jacet”, or “Here it lies”.
Perhaps it was a joke that the painter made for himself,
telling the thoughtful observers that in these jugs and in the
wine that fills them, in fact something lies and rests, namely
the spirit that enters into the body of man with the drink and
gradually unleashes all passions, which overwhelms and rapes
the mind, through intoxication; but perhaps it was also said that
all gaiety slumbers in the round belly of the pitcher and after
drinking the drink, it would froth up in laughter, cheerfulness
and songs. About this and the like, I pondered until the lack of
the warming fire made itself violently known and forced me to
tramp up and down in the spacious vault for a while, in order to
warm myself and to let my stiff hands be used for starting the
fire.
When passing the unfortunately only painted brown jug,
I could not help but tap the thick belly of the vessel with a bent
forefinger, even though its rounded appearance was only the
skill of the painter, who through the distribution of light and
color had achieved a high degree of plasticity. But when I
playfully tapped at the seemingly round curvature of the
drinking vessel, I felt as if it had a dull, wooden, and hollow
space. I knocked again, and two or three more times. The
sound gave way at the place where the Latin words were
written; it differed from the sound of the walled environment.
Following a sudden impulse, I peeled off the paint and
the lime with my blunt knife, dug a little and immediately came
to a wide, rotten storage cache. I increased my efforts, and soon
the old wood was crumbling away in brown flour and damp
splinters, exposing a small niche in which lay a round,
greenish-white mold covered sphere.
After some hesitation, in which I saw that the object was
a decomposed human head, I plucked up my courage, reached
in and pulled out a completely decomposed leather sack, which
made a fine sound when I lifted it out. It was heavy with
metallic contents.
Then I made a fire, probably also for this reason, to calm
my hammering heart by doing an indifferent work. When the
little fire was burning and flickering merrily, I proceeded to
examine the leather container, which the inscription on the
wine urn had advised. Those, to whom this sign had once been
made because of the danger of forgetfulness, had been dead
and gone for many years, perhaps buried under the rubble of
the castle.
The bag offered little resistance. It fell apart as I carried it
to my fire, and its contents rolled ringing on the damaged stone
floor.
My breath was taken away by the sheer joy of it.
Doubloons, sun-crowns, guilders rolled out of the greasy,
wet bag and flashed in the glow of the dancing flames.
I laughed, shouted, and leapt around the fire. I let the
blessing run through my unwashed fingers, shook the coins
into my hat, stroked them, and twisted individual pieces
between thumb and forefinger so that they reflected the embers,
paving the floor with them and throwing ducats in the air to
catch them again or to search for the unrolled ones among the
debris.
But then reason prevailed. How easily the firelight, my
foolish shouting and stamping could attract passersby and
betray me and my refuge! In great haste and yet cautiously I
tore my sweat-glued shirt and produced by knotting and
folding a kind of money bag in which I concealed the not
inconsiderable number of gold pieces and hid them on my bare
body. When I was finished with everything, I pulled the
smoldering wood apart and thoughtfully descended the hill of
ruins to reach the next town in broad daylight. This I succeeded
in doing and after a short time of sneaking, searching and
cautious questioning, I found the store of a junk dealer.
I told him that I was a runaway soldier and that I needed
clothes, linen, shoes and a warm coat. Fortune demanded that I
had come across a reasonably honest man, who, though not
cheaply, did not cheat me for inordinate profit, and even had a
bath prepared for me against good money and an ointment that
freed me from the torment of the vermin. The only thing that
bothered me was the hurry, with which all this had to proceed,
and the visibly growing restlessness of the man, as daylight
gradually began to fade.
At last, however, his insistence became tiresome to me,
and I asked him gruffly whether the chosen people practiced
hospitality in such a way, and how he seemed to hold it in low
esteem that I had willingly let him earn a nice piece of money.
For I was well aware of the price at which worn clothes and
worn linen and clothes were traded. Nevertheless, I would have
paid what I had received without question as if it had just come
out of the workshop of the tailor and garment maker. Then the
Jew laughed and said:
“The gentleman has probably also been rendered a
service so that he may have cleaned and equipped himself in all
secrecy, so that the bailiff does not even look after him, when
he crosses the street. If the gentleman were a Ben Yisroel, one
of my people, it would be a pleasure for me to house him. But
because the gentleman is from the others, it must not be so.
Because it is Friday evening, which we Jews call Eref Shabbiss
and it is against our custom, to suffer strangers in our festive
house. May the Lord forgive; I know well that he is a Purez, a
distinguished man, who has suffered from the Balmachomim,
and may he go his way in peace and forgive that it cannot be
otherwise!”
Thereby with a deep bow he tore open the iron door of
his store and politely beckoned me to leave.
Only when I was standing outside on the street did it
occur to me that in his way he had acted honestly toward me.
For it would have been easy for him to keep me in his house
and betray me to the king’s troops lying not far away in their
winter quarters. Despite the armistice, they could have picked
me out and abducted me, and with some skill the Jew would
have not only had a reward, but also the money hidden on my
person, which would have not gone unnoticed to his quick eyes.
Thus it was not by my cleverness, but by my good fortune, that
I had escaped the greatest danger to my life.
For the sake of safety, I decided to wander deeper into
the country and far away from the border to make use of a mail
coach.
So I trudged on my way in the thick snow and strove
towards a village in which I intended to spend the night.
At the entrance of the respectable and, judging by the
clean houses that were spared from the war, prosperous
location stood an artwork, the sorrowful mother with her son in
her lap. The base of the sandstone had been freshly plastered,
and so I immediately noticed a few figures and strokes on the
white surface drawn with charcoal which I knew as “marks”, as
the country and traveling thieves call their secret signs. When I
was with the gypsies I had learned such science, which is
useful for everyone to understand.
But these signs on the wayside shrine were about murder
and burning and I shuddered when I deciphered their meaning.
Undecided what to do with them, by no means to
carelessly disregard the threatening message for other people I
stopped.

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The Rebirth of Melchior Dronte by Paul Busson and translated by Joe E Bandel

“And now attention!”
He opened his mouth wide, put his lower lip tightly to the
glass and let the wine gurgle down his throat with a loud belch.
“Hell, plague, and whore child!” cursed Finch. “He does
it, by the devil’s ear-washes – he does it!”
Only a residue was left in the glass, not worth
mentioning. But still too much.
For before it ran down, Montanus opened his eyes wide,
as if in a sudden fright, so that one saw the blood veins swell in
the white eyes, and his face became dark blue. Then the boot
fell and broke into pieces. The hands let go of it and reached
into the air. A gurgling came from the open mouth. And then fat
Montanus fell like a sack to the floor, so that the chair, which
he was dragging along, crumbled under the weight of his body.
Haymon, who had studied medicine for many years and
understood some of it, knelt down by him, let his hand rest on
the chest of the fallen man for a while, then stood up and
groaned, “Died! Apoplexia! Has already gone to Hell, our fat
goose-eater. Fiducit!”
Sweat stood on his brow. I felt nauseous.
But Hercules bent down nimbly, reached into the pockets
of the dead man, found the purse and shook a few coins and a
Marien ducat onto the table.
“There you have your winnings, Nebuchadnezzar”, said
Haymon and immediately pushed Finch the silver watch with
the chain and the stone. Then he tossed me the pennies and
nodded:
“Take it! He will never need it!”
Then he weighed a ducat in the flat of his hand and said
to the suffocated:
“Heart brother! This gold fox will be drunk to your
memory!”
But the dead man gave no answer, and so Haymon shook
him a little, so that we heard the wine rumbling in his stomach.
“He doesn’t say no!”
“And now someone call Venus,” ordered Haymon.
“It would be a pity if we left the money for the
Manichaeans in the bag. The Jew shall see for himself how he
comes to his own, and thus the bear remains firmly tied. – Do
not stand there, Mahomet, like a stuck calf, but call Venus to
fetch some wine and bring poor Montanus on to some straw in
a quiet chamber!”
Then I went out into the dark corridor and called out to
Venus in a trembling voice.


On the evening of the day when the Jew Lewi told me
that my father was no longer going to send any money and that
after so many pranks he was now leaving me to my fate, I
drank myself crazy and full.
Later, the Portuguese came and told us that Phoebus
Merentheim had arrived a few days ago and had been
employed as a parlor boy by the tall Count Heilsbronn on the
Gerbersteig.
I left immediately and the entire corona with me. We put
a cracked night tile on the head of the stone Roland at City Hall,
and on the wall of the beautiful and virtuous Demoiselle
Pfisterin, who always had her back turned as we walked
languidly by, on the wall just below her window Hercules drew
with red chalk a delicate buttocks and wrote with big black
letters under it:
All the kisses I sent you, connected, you are quite charming!
Then we went with many hussahs and hellos over to the
city fountain and drove wooden wedges in its four copper
dragon tubes, so that the water above, beneath the feet of St.
Florian began to bubble. But we courted the mayor on the top
five steps of the staircase and stuck a goose tail feather in each
pile, because it was said that the Mayoress was dissatisfied
with him in puncto puncti.
Soon, however, I remembered Phoebus again with his
snooty rice soup face, and I urged on to the Gerbersteig.
“Shit, Mahomet – take it easy, he won’t run away from
you now!” Haymon held me back. “You shall drink his blood
today!”
For they still had something to do at the pillory. When we
arrived at the goose market, the Portuguese had already
prepared a paper, a hammer and nails, and while we were
keeping watch, he struck the paper against the pillory so that in
the morning light everyone could read it and our tormentors
and enemies could be recognized:
“Shmule Levi, a Jew and a bloodsucker,
Abraham Isaac’s son, likewise,
Liborius Schmalebank, calls himself a
Christian,
Gotthelf Titzke, goes to church service every Sunday,
Simche from Speyer takes a hundred percent.”
We moved on again, and in the dark we shouted at the
top of our voices:
“Mordio! Firerio! So help us!” until all the windows
were lit up and the sleepy city soldiers came trampling down.
In the meantime, we were already on our way to the
Gerbersteig.
“It is as I tell you,” murmured the Portuguese,
“Merentheim lives in the same room as the Count of
Heilsbronn and is with the Ansbach Student Union.”
“Didn’t the Count of Heilsbronn steal the red haired Jule
from you, Portugieser?” teased Galenus.
“Shut up, or I’ll let out all my water against you, so you’ll
drown miserably”, growled the Portuguese angrily. “I have
already wiped fifteen of you off my club with two fingers.”
“Give peace!” admonished Finch. “Otherwise take your
blasphemous speeches before the Committee. – You’d better
watch out how little Phoebus will shit his bed linen with fear!”
So I stepped forward, just in front of the window, which
the Portugieser had pointed out to me, pulled out the little saber
and began to wet my feet on the pavement.
I shouted at the top of my lungs:
“Merentheim! Dog fart! Come out and present yourself!
Pereat!”
Then the window opened, and a stark naked guy looked
out.
“Pereat!” I shouted. “Pereat Phoebus Merentheim!”
“Camel!” echoed down from above. “What in thunder do
I care about your Merentheim who today at two o’clock went to
his kin over there?”
“I hope you don’t choke on your stinking lie!” I shouted
against him.
The man above laughed:
“You shall have your share, brothers! You just have to be
patient, Hans Unknown, until I’ve donned my shirt and have a
sword in my hand!”
And he slammed the window shut so that the glass shards
rained down.
But then we saw a little light wandering in the room until
it was dark again. We heard footsteps in the corridor; a key
turned in the lock, and in the doorway appeared the tall Count
Heilsbronn, dressed in shirt, pants and a long sword under his
arm and his hat with the scarlet and white feathered cap of the
Ansbachers on his head. The moon was just coming out from
behind the clouds, and it was light enough to see the wild,
scarred face of the old braggart.
“All by the rules, Herr Brother!” interposed the Bavarian
Haymon as we wanted to quickly draw our blades. “You,
Portuguese, serve as second for the Ansbacher Herr and me for
Mahomet! Get ready! Go!”
I pushed nimbly, but didn’t hit him. He parried as fast as
lightning and was at home with all feints. I hit a wrong quarte,
because he drove under me and sliced, burning my upper arm. I
quickly fell back and struck hard, slid off and stabbed him deep
in the chest. The sword fell rattling from his hand.
“Stop there!” immediately roared the Portuguese and
held his blade in front of me.
“That sits,” gurgled Heilsbronner. “A lung foxer.”
His pitted face looked green in the moonlight.
“Take me – to bed, Herr Brother – to”
He fell into Haymon’s arms, spat out quite a bit of bloody
foam and rolled his eyes. There was a dark stain in his shirt that
spread like spilled ink on a bad piece of paper.
“By all the sacraments, help me hold the man,” gasped
the Bavarian Haymon. “He makes himself heavy as if -“
We jumped over and took hold.
“When I fall asleep, it’s over for me”, whispered the
Ansbach man and blew blood again.”The rosary above my bed
is moving back and forth by itself. If only I had had my heavy
intoxication, you might have long stood there and shouted
pereat -“
And shrilly:
“It crushes – me – my – heart -“
We lowered him to the ground. I broke out in a sweat.
“He’s gone,” shouted the Portuguese. “You take to your
heels. The windows are already opening.”
From above they shouted.
“Damned boys and ragamuffins! Won’t you be quiet
down there?”
“I want to salt their hams with rabbit shot,” one shouted
rudely.
We heard many feet pattering, coming closer. The guard
ran up.
“One of them never moves. – Guard! Guard! Mordio!”
clamored a woman.
We ran as fast as we could, a jumping stick flew between
my feet, so that I would have fallen. Haymon stayed beside me,
the other was off. We had heard screaming. He had jumped
over a fence and sank deep into a buried cesspool. They had
him all ready.
“Brother!” The Bavarian Haymon breathed in quickly
from the long race and leaned against an old wall. “Your stay
here is no more.

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The Rebirth of Melchior Dronte by Paul Busson and translated by Joe E Bandel

Then I screamed so loudly that my father let go of him.
“The toad can’t stand it, if I chastise the scoundrel,” he
said angrily, he will never be a right fellow in his day!”
Spurs clanking he went out. I was more afraid of this
clink than of anything else.
Then they gave me sweets and stroked me.
A young maid kissed my bare calves.
“Sweet boy!” she said.
In a mirror they showed me how a piece of glass had hit
me on the root of my nose and tore a small cut between my
eyebrows.
A scar remained from it.


I was playing in the garden with my little cousin Aglaja,
whom I loved very much. I had woven a wreath from black,
shiny ball berries, which I placed in her copper-colored hair,
which shone golden in the sun. She was the king’s daughter,
enchanted in thorny hedges, and I set out to save her. The
dragon that guarded her had to be played by black Diana. With
clever eyes the dog waited for the new game.
Then, accompanied by a maid, the barber came hurriedly
through the garden with a brass basin, and a servant appeared
at the door of the house, it was Stephan, who shouted at him to
hurry.
Aglaja threw her wreath of berries to the ground, and the
two of us both ran behind her to grandfather’s room,
which we were usually only allowed to enter with his special
permission. Such visits were always very solemn and only took
place on the big holidays of the year or on birthdays, when we
had to recite little poems and were given sweets in return.
It seemed to both of us a great dare, to go uninvited into
the room of the stern old man, but curiosity drove us forward.
Grandfather was sitting quietly in his sleeping chair. He
wore, as always, a gray-silk sleeve vest with embroidered
bouquets of roses, black pants, white stockings and shoes with
wide silver buckles. On his watch chain hung a bundle of
golden, colored and glittering things, cut things, cut gemstones,
corals and seals, which I had sometimes been allowed to play
with.
In front of him stood my father with bowed head and he
did not notice us children at all. When the gaunt barber, dressed
in a patched jacket stepped closer, he grabbed him by the arm,
his face turned red and he said half aloud:
“Next time run faster, damned Kujon, when you do him
the honor!”
The miserable barber stammered a little, and with his
hands flying grabbed his red bandages and switchblade, and
pushed grandfather’s sleeve up into the air, touched the eyelids
of the upturned eyes with his finger, then felt around on the
arm, while he held the basin under it. Thus he waited a while,
and then he said shyly:
“It is of no use, free- glorious graces – the blood will
never flow again!”
Then father turned around and stood with his face to the
wall. Stephan gently pushed Aglaja and me out the door and
whispered, “His Grace has gone to his fathers.”
And when we looked at him questioningly, since we
could not understand this, he said, “Your grandfather is dead.”
We went back into the garden and listened to the noise
that soon started in the house. To the right of the hallway was a
spacious room in which, as a very small child I remembered
seeing my mother being laid out between many candles. This
chamber, in which otherwise all sorts of equipment stood, they
now cleared out and dragged in large bales of black cloth,
which smelled nasty.
Grandfather had preferred Aglaja to me, and had given
her treats and candy more often than he had given to me. He
had kept these good things in a turtle box, which smelled of
cinnamon and nutmeg. She cried a little, Aglaja, because she
was thinking that it would all be over now, when grandfather
would go away. But then we both remembered the other box he
had, which we were only allowed to look at very rarely. That
was his golden snuff box, given to him by the Duke of
Brunswick. But on this beautiful, sparkling box, on its lid, there
was a second little lid and when this popped open, a very small
bird appeared, flashing with green, red and violet stones, which
bobbed with the wings and trilled like a nightingale. We could
hardly get enough of seeing and hearing it, but grandfather
slipped it into his pocket as soon as, after a short while, the lid
closed by itself, and told us to be satisfied.
I said to Aglaja that now we could look closely at the bird
and even feel it, since grandfather was dead. She was afraid to
go up, but I took her by the hand and pulled her behind me.
No one was in the corridor, and the room was empty.
Empty stood the wide armchair in which grandfather had spent
his last nights. On the little table next to it were still the bottles
with the long notes.
We knew that grandfather had always taken the can from
the middle drawer. This drawer was made of colored wood
decorated with ships, cities and warriors from the old times and
on the drawer, which we tried to open, there were two fat
Dutchmen who were smoking pipes and being served by
kneeling Moors. I pulled at the rings; but not until Aglaja
helped me, did we manage to open the drawer.
There lay Grandfather’s lace jabots and handkerchiefs, a
roll of gold ducats, a large pistol inlaid with gold, and many
letters in bundles, shoe buckles and razors, and also the box
with the bird.
I took it out, and we tried to make the lid jump. But we
did not succeed. But while we were working around, the big lid
came off, and a thin plate detached itself from it, which
concealed something. It was a small picture, which was painted
in fine enamel colors. A picture which made us forget the little
bird completely.
On a small sofa lay a lady with her skirts pushed up, and
right next to her was a gentleman with sword and wig, whose
clothes were also in strange disorder. They were doing
something that seemed to us as strange as it was weird. In
addition, the man was being attacked by a little spotted dog,
and the lady lying down seemed to laugh. We also laughed. But
then we argued very excitedly about what this was.
“They are married,” said Aglaja, blushing.
“How do you know?” I asked, my heart pounding hard.
“I think they are gods…” whispered Aglaja.
“I saw a picture, where the gods were like that. But they
didn’t have any clothes on.”
All of a sudden it was as if in the next room where our
dead grandfather lay, the floorboard creaked. We shrunk back,
and Aglaja cried out. Then I quickly threw the can into the
drawer, pushed it closed and pulled my cousin out of the room.
We slid into the garden.
“Aglaja…” I said, grabbing her hand. “Are we going to
get married like that…?”
She looked at me, startled, tore herself away and ran back
into the house. Confused and bewildered I went to Stephan,
who was cutting roses from the stalks and gathering them in a
basket.
“Yes, young Herr!” he said. “So it goes with all of us!”

Next to me sat Phöbus Merentheim and Thilo Sassen. We
three were the most distinguished. Behind us squatted Klaus
Jägerle, the whipping boy. He was allowed to study with us,
was given food, and if we didn’t know something, punishment
was carried out on him. His mother was a washerwoman and
his father wove baskets, although he only had one arm. The
other arm was cut by an enemy horseman, when he was
protecting Thilo’s severely wounded father with his body. In
return Klaus was allowed to study with us and to come to the
table at noon. Klaus was very industrious, shy and depressed,
and had to put up with everything that his classmates cooked
up when they were in an exuberant mood. He was almost
worse off than the hunchback son of the grocer Isaaksohn, they
had once put him at the door and spat in his face one after the
other, so that the disgusting juice, mixed with his tears, ran
down his new gentleman’s sport coat.
I was in great fear because I had learned nothing. For
before me stood the small, poisonous teacher of French in his
inky, tobacco-colored jacket with the bent lead buttons, the
goose quill behind his ear, talking through his Spaniol-filled
nose. His pale face was full of freckles and twitched incessantly.
In his left hand he held a book, and he waved the black-rimmed
knotted index finger of his right hand in front of my face.
He always did it that way. All of a sudden, after he had
studied our faces maliciously for a while, he would go after one
of the students like a vulture and always found the most
insecure out. It was his habit, to vocabulaire at the beginning of
the lesson, that is to say, he threw a few French words in the
victim’s face, which had to be translated immediately.
This time he had chosen me.
“Allons, monsieur-,” he hissed. “Emouchoir-. Tonte-
Mean. – At once! Quickly!”
I was startled and stammered:
“Emouchoir – the fly tonguing, tonte – the Sheep shearing – mean… mean, that is – that is -“
He neighed with delight.
“Ah – you don’t know, Cher Baron?”
“Mean -, that is –“
“Assez! Sit down!”
He bleated, and his little black eyes sparkled with
amusement. Slowly he took a pinch from his round horn can,
ran back and forth with two fingers under his pointed nose and
then poked the can at my neighbor.
“Herr Sassen! – Not either? – Merentheim? Also not? –
Jägerle, stand up and say it!”
Poor Klaus jumped up as if like a feather and said in a thin
voice:

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The Rebirth of Melchior Dronte by Paul Busson and translated by Joe E Bandel


The magician: “O Sheikh, I am going to the other world;
procure for me a right in the hereafter!”
The Sheikh: “I can give you one piece of advice; If you
follow it, it will be for your salvation.”
Turkish legend
“When the angel of death touches your heart, the soul
leaves its narrow house, faster than lightning. If it can take its
memory along with it, it remains aware of its sins. This is the
path to purity and that of the entrance to God.”
Secret Doctrine of the Beklashi

What I am writing down here, hoping that it will fall into
the right hands according to the will of God I, Sennon Vorauf,
have experienced in that physical existence which preceded my
present life. These memories have come to me by a special
grace beyond that transformation which is called death.
Before I realized this, I suffered from them and thought
they were inexplicable, agonizing kinds of dreams. Besides,
however, I also had to go through all kinds of shocks of an
unusual kind. It happened, for example, that the striking of an
old clock, the sight of a landscape, a fragrance, the melodies of
a song, or even a mere association of words would assail me
most violently with the thought, that I would have quite
certainly already once heard, seen, breathed in, or somehow
experienced it before. I was in this or that place, which I saw in
my present life for the first time, and already had once been
there. Yes, often enough, in conversation with new
acquaintances, I was struck by the idea that I had already been
in very special relations with them. Since it was impossible for
me to understand before the onset of this realization, it was also
impossible for me to provide explanations for the indescribably
exciting movements of my mind and emotions, much to the
grief of my parents, which often led into hours of brooding, the
unknown cause of which disturbed them not a little. But
through frequent repetition and the ever sharper imagery of the
story I became aware, even as a boy, that they were nothing
more than reflections of fates which my soul had suffered in
another body, namely before the birth of my present body;
moreover, these “Dreams” represented experiences that were
completely alien to my current circle of experiences and
frighteningly distant from my present circle of thoughts. I had
never heard of such things or even read about them somewhere
or otherwise experienced them. I began to record these
“dreams” of my own accord and thereby achieved that from
then on in certain favorable moments I had the so-called
wakefulness to remember such memories with extraordinary
accuracy.
More and more clearly and coherently from these “lucid
dreams” (as I called them in my case) the overall picture of a
life emerged that I had lived before this under the name of a
German nobleman (I will call him here Baron Melchior von
Dronte), had lived and ended, when his body fell to the
transformation of death and then became free to be my soul as
Sennon Vorauf.
In the peaceful and blessed life filled with inner peace,
which I lead, the retrospective view of the wild and
adventurous existence of Melchior von Dronte broke through in
a disturbing, confusing and frightening way. What he was
guilty of was my guilt and if he atoned, he atoned for the soul
that came back, for his and therefore my soul.
I am fully aware that many people will read this book
with incredulous smiles, and perhaps in some places at times
with disgust and revulsion. But at the same time I hope that the
number of people of deeper feeling will be large enough not to
let this writing perish. To those who are able to remember
details from previous forms of existence, who are conscious of
a previous life, I would like to dedicate this book to them; I
would like to make this book their own.
Just as I have replaced the real name I had with “Dronte”,
I have replaced those of various persons, whose descendants
are still alive, with invented names. Moreover I touch here the
fact that I have called people “Dronte” in this life, whom I
knew from the time before my death. Most of them were not at
all aware of a previous existence. Nevertheless, there were
moments and occasions with them, in which clearly
recognizable flashes of memory flared up in them in a flash of
recognition, without them having succeeded in determining the
source of such disturbing feelings or having the ability to hold
on to them. I am certainly not saying anything new to those
who, like me, have brought parts of an earlier consciousness
into the new life.
The raw, crude and often coarse nature of the following
biography of a life, I could not in truth love, as unpleasant and
hurtful some of it may seem. I was not to embellish and smooth
out the terrible clarity with which the memories surfaced in me,
and thus to write a pleasantly readable book. Everything had to
remain the way it was as it formed from a time whose spirit
was different from ours.
However, from the deepest, most personal feeling this
book should speak to the immortality of the soul, and this
confession is to possibly awaken this confession in others.
Above all, I am inspired by the hope that those who believe in
the wandering of the soul after the death of the body will not be
given completely worthless indications in this book. Others
who have not yet progressed on the path that I have walked,
may still at least read it for the sake of its colorful content.
I remember very clearly an incident from my fifth year of
life.
I had been undressed, as always, and lay in my pink
lacquered, shell-shaped child’s bed. The warm summer evening
wind carried the chirping of many insects into the room, and
the wax candle in a silver candelabra flickered. It stood on a
low cabinet next to the glass lintel, under which the “Man from
the East”, or the “Ewli”, as he was also called, was located.
This was a span-high, very beautifully formed figure,
which a relative, who was in the service of a Venetian, had
brought from there as a gift from the nobility.
It was the figure in wax of a Mohammedan monk or
dervish, as an old servant often told me. The face had the
sweetest expression for me. It was completely wrinkle-free,
light brownish and with gentle features. Two beautiful dark
eyes shone under a jet-black turban, and around the softly
curved lips a small black beard could be seen. The body was in
a brown-red robe with long sleeves, and around the neck the
dervish wore a necklace of tiny amber beads. The two fine wax
hands were on arms hanging down with the palms turned
forward, equal-ready to receive and welcome anyone who
should approach. This immensely delicate and artistically
executed piece in wax and fabrics was highly valued in my
family, and for that reason alone, it had been placed under a
glass dome to protect it from dust and unskilled hands.
I often sat for hours in front of this expensive figurine for
unknown reasons, and more than once I had the feeling as if
the dark eyes were animated by being alone with me, as if there
was a faint trace of a gentle, kind smile around its lips.
That evening I could not fall asleep. From the fountain in
the courtyard came the sound of water splashing and the
laughter of the maids washing and splashing each other and
with similar shenanigans teasing each other. Also the cicadas
and crickets in the meadows surrounding the mansion were
making noise. Between all that sounded the muffled sounds of
a French horn, on which one of the forest boys was practicing a
call.
I climbed out of bed and walked around the room. But
then I began to be afraid of the moment when old Margaret
came into my room every night to put out the light in case I fell
asleep with it on, and I went back to my bed. Just as I was
about to climb over the edge of the bed shell with my bare legs,
it was as if a voice softly called my name. I looked around
frightened. My eyes fell on the man from the Orient. I saw very
clearly how he raised one arm under the glass bell and
beckoned to me.
I began to cry with fright, looking steadfastly at the little
figure.
Then I saw it very clearly for the second time: he waved
his hand at me very hastily and commandingly.
Trembling with fear, I obeyed; in the process tears
streamed unstoppably down my face.
I would have loved to scream out loud. But I didn’t dare,
for fear of frightening the little man, who was now very much
alive and waving more and more fiercely, in anger, such as my
father, whose short one-time wave was not only for me, but for
all the inhabitants of the house, an order that had to be obeyed.
So I went, crying silently, towards the cabinet on which
the waving dervish stood. I had almost reached him, despite my
anxious hesitant steps, when something terrible happened. With
a horrible roar and in a cloud of dust, debris and splinters, the
ceiling of the room collapsed over my shell bed.
I fell to the floor and screamed. Something flew whizzing
through the air and smashed the glass dome and the waving
man made of wax into a thousand shards and pieces. A brick
that had flown over me.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. But there was
screaming all over the house, outside at the well and
everywhere, and the dogs in the kennel howled.
Arms grabbed me, pulled me up from the earth. Blood
was running into my eyes, and I felt a cloth being pressed
against my forehead. I heard the scolding, agitated voice of my
father, the wailing of old Margaret and the moaning of a
servant. My father hit him with a with a stick and shouted:
“You donkey, why didn’t you report that there were
cracks in the ceiling? I’ll beat you crooked and lame…!”

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Someone has to go first, so I guess I will. I have been on an ascension journey this past year (actually for many years) and that journey is not what I expected and the stages have not been easy to recognize. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. That’s why I’m going to share how ascension can be an extraordinary, ordinary life. . .

I’ve known for years that the new age energetics would require the activation and integration of the shadow. I don’t know how I knew this, but I always have and I’ve worked hard to turn my own self defeating thoughts, beliefs and actions into wisdom and empowerment. I thought the healing process would only take a few years of hard work and thirty years later I’m still discovering deeper layers that need healing. I’ve seen people that I love, people able to transmute black shit energy into harmless and empowering energy falter and stumble and finally have their physical bodies ravaged and destroyed by illness. My wife through strokes and brain damage and my best friend through colon cancer. At 68 years old my own body has faltered and stumbled a few times, but I’m still slugging on.

Ascension is not about the physical body anyway, it is about the soul and the integration of all the astral bodies. I envision the new world to be a multi-universe like Amber in Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber, or 4th density if you will. Said another way, I envision our physical world merging and integrating with the astral worlds as they were in the beginning. But that is beside the point. We use our physical bodies to generate and permanently activate all of our astral/etheric bodies. In the end we live in a world that seems to be the physical world but it is not as rigid and solid as it once was. Perhaps we need to drop our physical bodies at some point and perhaps we don’t???

We speak of ascension and prosperity consciousness. For me, I had to lose everything, hit bottom, down size, and start over from scratch. That means retiring, living on the fixed income of social security. But it works! I can do it. I’m not rich, but I can pay my bills and don’t have any debts. My writing projects and patrons give me a little spending money to help out and to me that is prosperity! My cup is full because it is a small one. What I share with other people is the overflow.

I live in a small apartment in a public housing project with my dog Valentine. I have a kitchen/living room; bedroom and bathroom of my own and a place to park my high mileage car. I live by the Mississippi river and have two parks nearby including a dog park that we can walk to every day. That’s more than a lot of people have.

As common in public housing complexes there are waves of infestations that could be seasonal. I’m talking things like cockroaches and bedbugs. Things that are very difficult to get rid of once they appear. A few years ago some cockroaches appeared and I put Borax under and round the kitchen and bathroom. No more cockroaches. This fall my neighbor was infested with bed bugs. My apartment was inspected but turned up clean. Then a month later I started getting some bites. I knew I had to do something myself so I got a UV/Ozone light to sterilize and kill the bedbugs. No more bedbugs! The light kills bacteria and viruses. The air is cleaner and safer and my health is better. But I didn’t trust someone else to clean up the mess, I cleaned it up myself.

Do you understand what I’m trying to share with you? I live in an ascended world among those who don’t live in an ascended world! There are things that come up, but I’m able to deal with them or get the help I need. I was invited to a Thanksgiving meal today by my nephew and his wife. They live down a minimum maintenance road in the country. I subconsciously dreaded going there in case the road was too bad for my old car, but I went anyway. Sure enough, I drove past their road in the snow and got stuck in some bad holes. There was no phone service and I had to walk ( about a half mile) to my nephew’s and ask for help. My brother towed me out and my car was not damaged that I can tell. The point being that I was afraid something would happen and it did. But I got the help I needed and it strengthened the bond between me and my brother and meant a lot to my nephew and his wife that I showed up. I confronted my fear and acted on it. This is living in an ascended physical world my friends! For some reason I can watch Youtube and not have all the ads showing up. I put on an ad blocker but was forced to remove it by Youtube. Something happened and I’m not getting ads and Youtube is not screaming at me. I don’t know what happened. . .

I have permanently activated all my astral/etheric bodies and live with a multidimensional awareness as my normal awareness. I seek to follow the guidance of my higher self or my future self and it seems to be working even though it can be scary sometimes. But I have learned to trust the process. I’ve had enough proof that it works. Have you?

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A Modern Inquiry into the Hermetic Mystery

Part III: Concerning the Laws and Vital Conditions of the Hermetic Experiment

Chapter 4: Mental Requisites and Impediments, Part 1

Introduction: The Hermetic art demands a pure and disciplined mind to transform the soul’s essence into divine light. This chapter explores the mental qualities and obstacles for those pursuing this sacred science, emphasizing wisdom, faith, and moral integrity.

The Qualities of the Adept

Geber, in his Sum of Perfection, outlines the mental requisites for mastering the Hermetic art. Success requires a sharp, searching intellect, capable of probing nature’s deepest principles with subtlety and reason. The adept must possess natural sagacity, free from fantasy or impulsiveness, to discern truth from illusion. A stable mind, grounded in rational inquiry, is essential to navigate the complexities of this sacred science.

Geber stresses that the art is not for those with weak or corrupted faculties—whether physical or mental. A soul swayed by fleeting opinions, clouded by imagination, or lacking discernment cannot achieve the divine transformation. Only those with clarity and perseverance can uncover the “true Radix,” the root of alchemical wisdom.

The Impediments of the Mind

Many obstacles hinder the pursuit of Hermetic science. Geber identifies those with “stiff necks”—lacking ingenuity or curiosity—who fail to explore nature’s depths. Others, driven by fantasy, mistake illusion for truth, their minds clouded by “fumosities.” Some are fickle, shifting beliefs without reason, unable to sustain the disciplined focus required. Worst are those who deny the art’s validity or seek it for greed, fearing to sacrifice personal gain for divine truth.

The greatest danger, as the Book of Enoch warns, lies in misusing alchemical knowledge for selfish ends. Such minds, led by “Mammon,” defile the divine light, turning sacred wisdom into sorcery. True adepts, guided by piety, reject these profane motives, ensuring the art remains a holy pursuit.

The Path of Purity and Faith

The Hermetic art demands a heart free from avarice, pride, or deceit, as Job declares: “If I have made gold my hope, I have denied the God above.” Only through faith, humility, and moral integrity can the adept align with divine wisdom. This science, as Norton’s Ordinal emphasizes, is a “singular grace” bestowed on those proven worthy, taught “mouth to mouth” with a sacred oath to protect its sanctity.

Closing: This chapter unveils the mental requisites and impediments for mastering the Hermetic art, emphasizing purity and faith. The journey into its practical secrets deepens in our next post, unveiling further wonders of this sacred pursuit.

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Homo Sapiens: In the Maelstrom by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

Sacrifice was ridiculed because it is so infinitely hard to sacrifice oneself, because it costs so much struggle and despair. You say: I! But what is your I? Is it not perhaps an antidote against a bad conscience? Your I is only there so that you can transgress the small law that regulates your small desires… You, you, Falk, you are despite your self-glorifying individualism a small person. In what has your life exhausted itself if not in debauchery and sexual desire… Well, I do you wrong, you have done much, but was it not because you found a kind of atonement in it, tell me Falk, was it not to calm your bad conscience? 

He stood almost threateningly before him, but sat down again immediately. “Why I you concerned about me?. I have nothing to do with you. I sit here ten hours and think that I have nothing more to do with you all. I have nothing personal about me anymore. My soul has widened, infinitely widened… You naturally don’t know what humanity is, because your lying brain, this flexible instrument in the service of your digestion, has made a concept of humanity, yes a concept, to be able to conveniently dissect, unravel and dispute it away. I don’t know this concept, but I know humanity as the root of my soul, I feel it with every beat of my heart, as the basic feeling that the sacrifice I bring to millions from my self is something else than the crawling and sweating and running after a woman. But now go Falk, I want to be alone before my departure. Just think that you are a small person, and you should have been one of the greatest. You, yes, you; you should have become one.” 

Falk felt deeply shaken. But in the same moment a cynical shame overcame him that he let himself be shaken, it seemed to him as if his brain grinned at his helplessness. 

“Do you eat opium?” he asked half unconsciously. Czerski looked at him seriously. 

“Your brain is shameless,” he said slowly and almost solemnly. “Shameless!” Falk ducked under this look and these words. He stared at Czerski ashamed, he clearly felt two souls stretching up against each other. 

“Yes, my brain is shameless.” 

But immediately he regained his superiority. The cynical soul triumphed. He adjusted himself, smiled scornfully and said: 

“It is very beautiful what you said there. Your criticism of our society was very good, although you did not go beyond what Nietzsche says in his *Zarathustra*, yes, the Nietzsche you so despise.” 

He was silent for a moment to see how that would affect Czerski. 

But Czerski seemed not to listen to him at all. He turned his back to him and looked out the window. 

Falk was not surprised at all about it, he even brooded that he was not upset about it. He suddenly became sad and serious. 

When he began to speak again, it was only to hear himself speak. 

“You are right, my brain is shameless because it cannot grasp that your feeling ‘humanity’ has no causes, no causes that are not grounded in some experience. But that is how my brain is, it takes your soul state under the magnifying glass and analyzes it. You sat in prison. The woman you loved treacherously forgot you. Your loneliness, your bitterness, your pain and your despair finally produced this selfless surrender. So is your humanity not a lie, a great lie to save yourself from despair, is that not a lie to break the pain that caused these terrible torments, a lie of your physique in need of rest and recovery? You are now happy with your great lie and I am unhappy because my lie is small. But what does great mean? What small? My God, the concepts are lost to me, I usually don’t judge from a logical standpoint either. I know very well that the soul does not follow logical principles… But what did I want to say?… Yes, right… 

Czerski suddenly turned around. “Do you want tea?” 

“Yes, give tea, much tea… Yes! You condemn me, you called me a scoundrel. Isn’t that so, you did it? Why did you call me that? Because in my destructions sex was a motive. I speak destructions because the case with Janina is not the first. No… 

He drank the tea hastily. The fever began to dominate him. 

“Sex was the motive. Good! But—” again he lost the thread of thought; he thought long, then suddenly started triumphantly. 

“Look at Napoleon. He is a classic example for all such cases.” 

His face shone. 

“You smile! No, I don’t want to compare myself with Napoleon at all. I only weigh motives against each other. What were his motives?… He, he: some say he was like the thunderstorm that cleans the air. But it is a ridiculous comparison. That the thunderstorm cleans is only accidental, if it weren’t, we would have to assume a providence, a pre-established harmony. He, he… those are only false conclusions. Give me another glass of tea. 

Napoleon had to have motives though. Well: ambition for example. But what is ambition? You don’t believe that ambition is a fact… but—does that interest you? 

“Speak only, that seems to calm you.” 

“Yes, you have a splendid psychological eye. It actually calms me. So ambition is something enormously composite. A thousandfold parallelogram of forces, if you want. It is no basic drive like hunger and sex are. It is something that has developed from the basic drives. All these motives have the common root in the basic drives. They are only derivations, development and differentiation phenomena… 

Falk laughs nervously. 

“So see, see: all emotional motives have biologically and psychologically the same value because they come from the same root. He, he… those are special theories, they don’t have to be correct at all. I only wanted to prove to you that my action motives do not lag behind Napoleon’s in value at all. 

In most cases, however, the motives are unknown, one doesn’t know why one does this or that… Well yes… 

Falk had great difficulty concentrating. He literally suffered from thought flight. 

Yes, so, the motives from which Napoleon destroyed can also only be derived sex drives… Isn’t that so? We can assume that as probable. But then you will say there is a great difference, to conquer a world and to make a girl unhappy… He, he, he… So you reproach me that I am too small a criminal? For to conquer a world one must destroy a world, and I have only destroyed a few girls. Now you will naturally say: Napoleon made a world happy. But in his thoughts, God knows, there was no intention to make a world happy. He did everything because he had to do it. In the psychic fact there is no purpose of consciousness at all. The brain only lies that in afterwards… 

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Alraune by Hanns Heinz Ewers and translated by Joe E Bandel

She spread her arms out wide reaching into the air. “Soldiers–”
she screamed. “I want an entire regiment.”
“Shame on you,” said Dr. Petersen. “Is that any way for a
prince’s bride to act?”
But his gaze lingered greedily on her firm breasts.
She laughed. “It doesn’t matter–prince or no prince! Anyone that
wants me can have me! My children are whore’s children whether
they be from beggar or from a prince.”
Her body became aroused and her breasts extended towards the
men. Hot lust radiated from her white flesh, lascivious blood streamed
through her blue veins–and her gaze, her quivering lips, her
demanding arms, her inviting legs, her hips, and her breasts screamed
out with wild desire, “Take me. Take me!”
She was not a prostitute any more–The last veils had been
removed and she stood there free of all fetters, the pure female, the
prototype, the ideal, from top to bottom.
“Oh, she is the one!” Frank Braun whispered. “Mother Earth–she
is Mother Earth–”
A sudden trembling came over her as her skin shivered. Her feet
dragged heavily as she staggered over to the sofa.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she murmured.
“Everything is spinning!”
“You’re just a little tipsy,” said the attorney quickly. “Drink this
and then sleep it off.”
He put another full glass of cognac up to her mouth.
“Yes, I would like to sleep,” she stammered. “Will you sleep
with me, youngster?”
She threw herself down onto the sofa, stretched out both legs into
the air, laughed out lightly, then sobbed loudly and wept until she was
still. Then she turned onto her side and closed her eyes.
Frank Braun pushed a pillow under her head and covered her up.
He ordered coffee, went to the window and opened it wide but shut it
again a moment later as the early morning light broke in. He turned
around.
“Now gentlemen, are you satisfied with this object?”
Dr. Petersen looked at the prostitute with an admiring eye.
“I believe she will do very well,” he opinioned. “Look at her
hips, your Excellency, it’s like she is predestined for an impeccable
birth.”
The waiter came and brought coffee. Frank Braun commanded
him, “Telephone the nearest ambulance. We need a stretcher brought
in here for the lady. She has become very sick.”
The Privy Councilor looked at him in astonishment, “What was
that all about?”
“That is called–” laughed his nephew. “hitting the nail on the
head. It’s called that I am thinking for you and that I am more
intelligent than you are. Do you really think that when the girl is sober
again she would go one step with you? Even as long as I kept her
drunk with words and with wine I still needed to come up with
something new to keep her interest. She would run away from both of
you heroes at the nearest street corner in spite of all the money and all
the princes in the world!
That is why I had to take control. Dr. Petersen, when the
ambulance comes you will take the girl immediately to the train
station. If I’m not wrong the early train leaves at six o’clock, be on it.
You will take an entire cabin and put your patient into bed there. I
don’t think she will wake up, but if she does give her some more
cognac. You might add a couple drops of morphine as well. That way
you should be comfortably in Bonn by evening with your booty–
Telegraph ahead so the Privy Councilor’s carriage is waiting for you
at the train station. Put the girl inside and take her to your clinic–Once
she is there it will not be so easy for her to escape–You have your
ways of keeping her there I’m sure.”
“Forgive me, doctor.” The assistant doctor turned to him, “This
almost appears like a forcible kidnapping.”
“Yes it does,” nodded the attorney. “Salve your citizen’s
conscience with the knowledge that you have a contract!–Now don’t
talk about it, do it!–Do what you are told.”
Dr. Petersen turned to his chief, who was quiet and brooding in
the middle of the room and asked whether he could take first class,
which room at the clinic he should put the girl in, whether they
needed a special assistant and–
During all this Frank Braun stepped up to the sleeping prostitute.
“Beautiful girl,” he murmured. “Your locks creep like fiery
golden adders.”
He pulled a narrow golden ring from his finger, one with a little
pearl on it. Then he took her hand and placed it on her finger.
“Take this, Emmy Steenhop gave me this ring when I magically
poisoned her flowers. She was beautiful, strong, and like you, was a
remarkable prostitute!–Sleep child, dream of your prince and your
prince’s child!”
He bent over and kissed her lightly on the forehead–The
ambulance orderlies came with a stretcher. They took the sleeping
prostitute and carefully placed her on the stretcher, covered her with a
warm woolen blanket and carried her out. Like a corpse, thought
Frank Braun. Dr. Petersen excused himself and went after them.
Now the two of them were alone.
A few minutes went by and neither of them spoke. Then the
Privy Councilor spoke to his nephew.
“Thank you,” he said dryly.
“Don’t mention it,” replied his nephew. “I only did it because I
wanted to have a little fun and variety. I would be lying if I said I did
it for you.”
The Privy Councilor continued standing there right in front of
him, twiddling his thumbs.
“I thought as much. By the way, I will share something that you
might find interesting. As you were chatting about the prince’s child,
it occurred to me that when this child is born into the world I should
adopt it.”
He laughed, “You see, your story was not that far from the truth
and this little alraune creature already has the power to take things
from you even before it is conceived. I will name it as my heir. I’m
only telling you this now so you won’t have any illusions about
inheriting.”
Frank Braun felt the cut. He looked his uncle straight in the eye.
“That’s just as well Uncle Jakob,” he said quietly. “You would
have disinherited me sooner or later anyway, wouldn’t you?”
The Privy Councilor held his gaze and didn’t answer. Then the
attorney continued.
“Now perhaps it would be best if we use this time to settle things
with each other–I have often angered you and disgusted you–For that,
you have disinherited me. We are quit.
But I gave you this idea and you have me to thank that it is now
possible. For that you owe me a little gratitude. I have debts–”
The professor listened, a quick grin spread over his face.
“How much?” he asked.
Frank Braun answered, “–Now it depends–twenty thousand
ought to cover it.”
He waited, but the Privy Councilor calmly let him wait.
“Well?” he asked impatiently.
Then the old man said, “Why do you say ‘well’? Do you
seriously believe that I will pay your debts for you?”
Frank Braun stared at him. Hot blood shot through his temples,
but he restrained himself.
“Uncle Jakob,” he said, and his voice shook. “I wouldn’t ask if I
didn’t need to. One of my debts is urgent, very urgent. It is a
gambling debt, on my honor.”
The professor shrugged his shoulders; “You shouldn’t have been
gambling.”
“I know that,” answered his nephew, exerting all of his nerves to
control himself. “Certainly, I shouldn’t have done it. But I did–and
now I must pay. There is something else–I can’t go to mother with
these things. You know as well as I do that she already does more for
me than she should–She just a while ago put all my affairs in order for
me–Now, because of that she’s sick–In short, I can’t go to her and I
won’t.”
The Privy Councilor laughed bittersweet, “I am very sorry for
your poor mother but it will not make me change my mind.”
“Uncle Jakob,” he cried into the cold sneering mask, beside
himself with emotion. “Uncle Jakob, you don’t know what you are
saying. I owe some fellow prisoners at the fortress a thousand and I
must pay them back by the end of the week. I have a few other
pathetic little debts to people that have loaned me money on my good
face. I can’t cheat them. I also pumped money out of the commander
so that I could travel here–”
“Him too!” the professor interrupted.
“Yes, him too!” he replied. “I lied to him, told him that you were
on your death bed and that I had to be near you in your final hours.
That’s why he gave me leave.”
The Privy Councilor wagged his head back and forth, “You told
him that?–You are a veritable genie at borrowing and swindling–But
now that must finally come to an end.”
“Blessed Virgin,” screamed the nephew. “Be reasonable Uncle
Jakob! I must have the money–I am lost if you don’t help me.”
Then the Privy Councilor said, “The difference doesn’t seem to
be that much to me. You are lost anyway. You will never be a decent
person.”
Frank Braun grabbed his head with both hands. “You tell me
this, uncle? You?”
“Certainly,” declared the professor. “What do you throw your
money away on?–It’s always foolish things.”
“That might well be, uncle,” he threw back. “But I have never
stuck money into foolish things the way you have!”
He screamed, and it seemed to him that he was swinging a riding
whip right into the middle of the old man’s ugly face. He felt the sting
of his words–but also felt how quickly they cut through without
resistance–like through foam, like through sticky slime–
Quietly, almost friendly, the Privy Councilor replied. “I see that
you are still very stupid my boy. Allow your old uncle to give you
some good advice. Perhaps it will be useful sometime in your life.
When you want something from people you must go after their
little weaknesses. Remember that. I needed you today. For that I
tolerated all the insults you threw at me–But you see how it worked.
Now I have what I wanted from you–Now it is different and you
come pleading to me. You never once thought it would go any other
way–Not when you were so useful to me. Oh no! But perhaps there is
something else you can do. Then you might be thankful for this good
advice.”

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Alraune by Hanns Heinz Ewers and translated by Joe E Bandel

It was a brown dusty thing made of rock hard wooden root. It
looked like an ancient wrinkled man.
“Oh, it’s our alraune!” Frau Gontram said. “It’s just as well that
it fell on Sophie, she has a hard skull!–When Wölfchen was born I
gave that disgusting manikin to him. I was certain he would be able to
break it to pieces but he couldn’t.”
The Legal Councilor explained, “This has been in our family for
over two hundred years now. It has done this once before. My
grandfather told us that once in the night it sprang off the wall and fell
on his head–He was completely drunk when it happened though–He
always liked having a few drops to drink.”
“What is it really?” the Hussar lieutenant asked.
“Well, it brings gold into the house,” answered Herr Gontram.
“It is an old legend–Manasse can tell you all about it–Come over here,
Herr Colleague, tell us, Herr History–What is the legend of the
alraune?”
But the little attorney didn’t want to, “Why? Everyone knows it
already!”
“No one knows it, Herr Attorney,” the lieutenant cried at him.
“No one. Your learning greatly overshadows that of modern
education.”
“So tell us, Manasse,” said Frau Gontram. “I always wanted to
know what that ugly thing was good for.”
He began. He spoke dryly, matter of factly, as if he were reading
some piece out of a book. He spoke unhurried, scarcely raising his
voice while swinging the manikin root back and forth in his right
hand like a baton.
“Alraune, albraune, mandragora–also called mandrake–
mandragora is its official name, a plant belonging to the Nightshade
family. It is found around the Mediterranean, Southeast Europe and
Asia up to the Himalayas. Its leaves and flowers contain a narcotic
that was used in ancient times as a sleeping potion and during
operations at the illustrious medical college in Salerno, Italy. The
leaves were smoked and the fruit made into a love potion. It
stimulates lust and increases potency. The plant is named Dudaim in
the Old Testament where Jacob used it to increase Labaan’s flock of
sheep.
The root plays the leading role in the saga of the alraune because
of its strange resemblance to an old male or female figurine. It was
mentioned by Pythagoras and already in his time believed capable of
making a person invisible. It is used for magic or the opposite, as a
talisman against witchcraft.
The German alraune story began in the early Middle Ages in
connection with the crusades. Known criminals were hung stark
naked from a gallows at a crossroads. At the moment their neck was
broken they lost their semen and it fell to the earth fertilizing it and
creating a male or female alraune. It had to be dug out of the ground
beneath the gallows when the clock struck midnight and you needed
to plug your ears with cotton and wax or its dreadful screams would
make you fall down in terror. Even Shakespeare tells of this.
After it is dug up and carried back home you keep it healthy by
bringing it a little to eat at every meal and bathing it in wine on the
Sabbath. It brings luck in peace and in war, is a protection against
witchcraft and brings lots of money into the house. It is good for
prophecy and makes its owner lovable. It brings women love magic,
fertility and easy childbirth. It makes people fall madly and wildly in
love with them.
Yet it also brings sorrow and pain where ever it is. The house
where it stays will be pursued by bad luck and it will drive its owner
to greed, fornication and other crimes before leading him at last to
death and then to hell. Nevertheless, the alraune is very beloved,
much sought after and brings a high price when it can be found.
They say that Bohemian general Albrecht Wallenstein carried an
alraune around with him and they say the same thing about Henry the
Eighth, the English King with so many wives.”
The attorney became quiet, threw the hard piece of wood in front
of him onto the table.
“Very interesting, really very interesting,” cried Count
Geroldingen. “I am deeply indebted to you for sharing that bit of
information Herr Attorney.”
But Madame Marion declared that she would not permit such a
thing in her house for even a minute and looked with frightened,
believing eyes at the stiff bony mask of Frau Gontram.
Frank Braun walked quickly back to the Privy Councilor. His
eyes glowed; he gripped the old gentleman on the shoulder and shook
it.
“Uncle Jakob,” he whispered. “Uncle Jakob–”
“What is it now boy?” The professor asked. He stood up and
followed his nephew to the window.
“Uncle Jakob,” the student repeated. “That’s it!–That’s what you
need to do! It’s better than making stupid jokes with frogs, monkeys
and little children! Do it Uncle Jakob, go a new way, where no one
has gone before!”
His voice trembled; in nervous haste he blew a puff of smoke out
from his cigarette.
“I don’t understand a word you are saying,” said the old man.
“Oh, you must understand Uncle Jakob!–Didn’t you hear what
he said?–Create an Alraune, one that lives, one of flesh and blood!–
You can do it Uncle, you alone and no one else in the world.”
The Privy Councilor looked at him uncertainly. But in the voice
of the student lay such certainty, conviction and belief in his skill that
he became curious against his will.
“Explain yourself more clearly Frank,” he said. “I really don’t
know what you mean.”
His nephew shook his head hastily, “Not now Uncle Jakob. With
your permission I will escort you home. We can talk then.”
He turned quickly, strode to the coffeepot, took a cup, emptied it
and took another in quick gulps.
Sophia, the other girl, was trying to evade her comforter and Dr.
Mohnen was running around here and there hyper as a cow’s tail
during fly season. His fingers felt the need to wash something, to pick
something up. He took up the alraune and rubbed it with a clean
napkin trying to wipe the dust and grime away that clung to it in
layers. It was useless; the thing had not been cleaned for over a
century and would only get more napkins dirty. He was filled with the
sense that something was not right. He swung it high and skillfully
threw it into the middle of the large wine bowl.
“Drink alraune,” he cried. “You have been treated badly in this
house and must certainly be thirsty!”
Then he climbed up on a chair and delivered a long solemn
speech to the white robed virgins.
“I hope you can stay eternally as pure as you are tonight,” he
finished.
He lied, he didn’t want that at all. No one wished that, much less
the two young ladies, but they clapped with the others, went over to
him, curtsied and thanked him.
Chaplain Schröder stood next to the Legal Councilor
complaining powerfully that the date was nearing when the new Civil
Law would go into effect. Less than ten more years and the Code of
Napoleon would be gone and people in the Rhineland would have the
same civil rights as over there in Prussia! It was absolutely
unthinkable!
“Yes,” sighed the Legal Councilor, “and all the work! A person
has to learn everything all over again, as if they don’t have enough to
do as it is.”
He was completely indifferent on the basis that it would not
affect him very much since he had studied the new laws already and
had passed the exam, thank God!
The princess left and took Frau Marion with her in her carriage.
Olga stayed over with her friend again. They stood by the door and
said goodbye to the others as they left, one after the other.
“Aren’t you going too, Uncle Jakob?” the student asked.
“I must wait a bit,” said the Privy Councilor. “My carriage is not
here yet. It will be here in a moment.”
Frank Braun looked out the window. There was the little widow,
Frau Von Dollinger, going down the stairs nimble as a squirrel in
spite of her forty years, down into the garden, falling down, springing
back up. She ran right into a smooth tree trunk, wrapped her arms and
legs around it and started kissing it passionately, completely drunk
and senseless from wine and lust.
Stanislaus Schacht tried to untangle her but she held on like a
beetle. He was strong and sober in spite of the enormous quantity of
wine that he had drunk. She screamed as he pulled her away trying to
stay clasped to the smooth tree trunk but he picked her up and carried
her in his arms. Then she recognized him, pulled off his hat and
started kissing him on his smooth bald head.
Now the professor was standing, speaking some last words with
the Legal Councilor.
“I’d like to ask a favor,” he said. “Would you mind giving me
the unlucky little man?”
Frau Gontram answered before her husband could, “Certainly
Herr Privy Councilor. Take that nasty alraune along with you! It is
certainly something more for a bachelor!”
She reached into the large wine bowl and pulled out the root
manikin but the hard wood hit the edge of the bowl, knocking it over,
and it rolled to the floor with a loud crash that resounded through the
room. The magnificent old crystal bowl broke into hundreds of crystal
shards as the bowl’s sweet contents spilled over the table and onto the
floor.
“Holy Mother of God!” she cried out. “It is certainly a good
thing that it is finally leaving my house!”

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Homo Sapiens: Under Way by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

IX.

Falk walked.

He stopped on the path.

Shouldn’t he turn back, take her in his hands and carry her up to her room?

Yes: beg her, only be allowed to kneel before her bed, stammer wild prayers together with her!

Suddenly he examined himself whether this was really an insurmountable desire in him or only the intention to give Marit new suggestions of his great passion.

Yes: did he really have this desire? Or was it even only an autosuggestion?

He examined himself and examined, but he really couldn’t distinguish. He had devised so many plans of how he could conquer her, spoken so many words to himself, fabricated and lied so many feelings, that he could no longer distinguish what was real about it and what—hm, yes, how should he call it—was artificial growth.

The suggestions with which he wanted to influence her became realities, or at least took the forms of real feelings. The words that he had earlier invented with his brain now received sexual warmth: he had played feelings so often until he actually generated them in himself.

It seemed to him as if certain brain regions had created a new blood circulation for themselves. Why then did his heart go into these throbbings when he now repeated love words that he had earlier spoken coldly a hundred times without the slightest trace of spiritual excitement?

Falk lost himself in psychological investigations about the form of a love generated by autosuggestion.

He thought about how he would describe it. Yes, he could think of nothing else, he had to calm his brain.

So: he had an assignment from a psychological journal, yes. *Journal for Scientific Psychology*. How would he now make it clear?

Well: a frequently repeated, in the brain repeated state has linked itself with new blood vessels, acted on them so long that a regular blood circulation arose, and thus the thought-state became a sensual state.

Yes so; that would probably be correct. A sensual effect was generated through pure thought-suggestion.

He heard a carriage roll past close to him. Lanterns burned on the sides, and he saw how the carriage turned at a sharp road curve. Then he saw only the lights move on in rapid course; he followed them until they disappeared in the woods. Involuntarily he had to think of the peat cutter’s will-o’-the-wisps.

Then he looked around. There lay Marit’s house. Yes, he could go in. Perhaps she expected him. Perhaps she would be very happy if he appeared so suddenly now. Perhaps she was walking in the park to cool off. Or had gone to the lake to sit on the big stone where they both had sat together so often, yes; right by the ditch, by the ravine, where the ground all around was so deeply torn open.

Strange this ravine; could it perhaps be an old riverbed? Now he walked; stopped; walked again. His brain was very fatigued;

and yet this peculiar tendency to brood! Again he thought of the psychological essay.

No, that could probably be better used for a novella. So: the man has this autosuggestive love. Bien, good! But now he also has a real love beside it, which he constantly feels, yes quite as one feels a sick organ in one’s body.

So he loves simultaneously, that means he loves both. Only: the one first entered the individual and later the brain, the other took the reverse path, and the eternal in our hero gradually begins to react violently.

Yes, Falk felt clearly how it reacted; but at the same time he felt a great, sated tiredness.

Now Marit was completely indifferent to him again; only a foretaste of sex, and he was already sated.

Tomorrow of course a reintegration would occur; but it was an undeniable fact that he felt sated this evening, yes, this evening of April 28.

So he didn’t love Marit, for he had never felt this with his wife. No; never.

Yes, and the whole time after the embrace just now: He had clearly felt how a kind of hatred, shame, yes, shame, like after a crime, shame before himself and before her, waved back and forth between them.

Was it happiness? No!

Was it pain?

Yes, certainly: Pain and shame! But the real, the non-suggested love, the love that arises because it must arise, the love that has no brain, no thinking organ, only two heart-sacks and an aorta, this love knows no shame.

No, certainly not! He thought of his love affair with his wife. They took each other because they had to take each other, and were happy. – So what is it?

Yes, what is it?

Well, please, Herr Erik Falk: You are accused and accuser at once. You are Herr Falk and Herr X.

So, Herr X, you accuse me that I seduced a girl and thus destroyed her.

Now listen: You are an intelligent man, and I can drive up before you with an arsenal of reasons.

So: *Hors la méthode point de salut*. Methodically and systematically, Herr X!

*Primo* arose in me the suggestion that I must possess this girl. Since a similar suggestion never arose in me before, I must say: This suggestion is extraordinary, and consequently deserves quite special attention.

Falk pedantically examined whether he hadn’t specified something exactly enough.

Yes, so it is an extraordinary suggestion. How it arose, I don’t know. For I can name a thousand things that may have generated it; I sometimes name them too, but I know that my brain lies to me, that I am so to speak the cuckold of my brain, and so I say: the origin of this suggestion I don’t know. I can only recognize its character: it is a sexual suggestion. It was that from the beginning…

Falk thought of a series of feeling-experiences that lay in this direction.

First on the third day of their acquaintance: She had been to the station to throw an urgent letter into the train’s mailbox. He had met her in the city, yes, at the corner house where the watchmaker lives. She became embarrassed and he too. Why did he become embarrassed? He had immediately asked himself astonished. Then he accompanied her and spoke much; yes, what did he speak about exactly? Right, about religion.

‘Halt, there lies an important argument!’

Herr X, please, can you tell me why right from the beginning, without a clear consciousness of the final purpose, I fixated on destroying her religious dogmas?

Yes, please very much, you know me and know that it is absolutely indifferent to me whether a person believes or not. You also know that I rarely speak of my ideas because I consider it unrefined to force suggestions.

Now look, Herr X, before I was conscious of it, my sex already worked in me with consistent logic and argued thus: As long as she has religion, I will never possess her, consequently the religious in her is the first and most important point of attack.

You can really believe me, Herr X, I can assure you that I didn’t think for a moment of possessing the girl before I heard the voice of the blood on that day.

Look, it was right at the cemetery, close under the birch tree whose branches hang over the fence, there I suddenly noticed—something personal may have come into my speech—that my voice got a strange tendency to tip into whispering, into confidential murmuring, and then I felt a peculiar glow around my eyes, and the skin under the eyes I felt lay in little wrinkles, whereby the expression of my eyes gets something faun-like.

I felt this last clearly because I first saw these wrinkles on my father when he fell in love with our governess. Then I completely forgot them, until suddenly three years ago in a kind of vision I saw them clearly before me again. Since then I always think of them.

Yes, now I knew definitely: it is sex.

And now it grew in me and grew incessantly and gave me no rest, and now I must; yes, I must! why? I don’t know.

Yes, yes, I know you, Herr X: The topic interests you. You want to make your wisdom shine, solve the question and substantiate with reasons.

*Bien*; is good. For I can argue as follows: The woman’s period is dependent on the influence of the moon.

How so? you will ask astonished.

Listen then. The first living being was a sea creature; the moon is known to have a great influence on water, and naturally the influence that acts on the medium will also extend to the living being that lives in this medium. The living being now bequeaths this regularly recurring influence to its descendants as a fully organized property: *quod erat demonstrandum*.

Yes, good, very good. I know that you by no means need to drag such distant reasons… ‘by the hair’ you say? well good, so don’t need to drag by the hair; but even the nearest reasons have the same value.

Falk turned around. It seemed to him as if he heard the editor grinning behind his back: So in the end you believe in the fourth dimension?

‘Yes, you know, Herr Editor, you are a man of positive ideas and positive life course. You are a rationalist and materialist. I honor you and value you very highly; but as long as you can’t prove to me the non-existence of three beings between Us Two—”Us” capitalized because we value each other mutually—yes, as long as you can’t prove that, I also won’t stop admitting the possibility of such a dimension. Because you don’t see it, nor smell, nor hear it? Well, that’s no proof. For one can have a hundred senses in latent state that will later develop in the human race. Do you know, for example, that recently a new sense was found that is titled organ-sense?

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