
Alraune by Hanns Heinz Ewers and translated by Joe E Bandel
But the overseer of the prison was not satisfied. “What! To the
commander? But Herr Doctor, you have no leave of absence to go
down to the city, and you still want to go to the commander?”
Frank Braun laughed, “Yes indeed. Straight to him! Namely, I
must go to the commander and pump some money out of him.”
The Sergeant-major didn’t say another word. He stood there not
moving with a wide-open mouth, completely petrified.
“Give me ten pennies, boy,” Frank Braun cried to his valet, “for
the toll bridge.”
He took the coins and went with quick strides across the yard,
into the officer’s garden and from there onto the slope leading up to
the ramparts. He swung up onto the wall, grabbed the bough of a
mighty ash tree on the other side and climbed down the trunk. Then
he pushed through the thick underbrush and climbed down the rocks.
In twenty minutes he was at the bottom.
It was the route they always took for their nightly escapades. He
went along the Rhine to the toll bridge and then across to Coblenz. He
learned where the commander lived and hurried there.
He showed the general the telegram and said that he came on
very urgent matters. The general let him in and he put the telegram
back in his pocket.
“How can I help you with this?”
Frank Braun said, “I need a leave of absence your Excellency. I
am a prisoner at the fortress.”
The old general stared at him unkindly, visibly annoyed at the
intrusion.
“What do you want? By the way, how did you get down into the
city? Do you have a pass?”
“Certainly, Your Excellency,” said Frank Braun. “I have church
leave.”
He lied, but knew very well the general only wanted an answer.
“I came to Your Excellency to ask for a three day pass. My uncle is in
Berlin and dying.”
The commander blurted out, “What is your uncle to me? It’s
entirely out of the question! You are not sitting up there at your
convenience. It’s because you have broken the law, do you
understand? Anyone could come to me with a dying uncle or aunt. If
it’s not at least a parent I deny such a pass strictly on principle.”
“I remain dutiful, your Excellency,” he replied. “I will inform
my uncle, his Excellency, the Privy Councilor ten Brinken,
immediately by telegraph that unfortunately his only nephew is not
allowed to hasten to his deathbed for his weary eyes to look upon.”
He bowed, turned toward the door, but the general held him back
as he had expected.
“Who is your uncle?” he asked in hesitation.
Frank Braun repeated the name and the beautiful title. Then he
took the telegram out of his pocket and handed it over.
“My poor uncle has one last chance for deliverance in Berlin but
unfortunately the operation is not successful very often.”
“Hmm,” said the commander. “Go my young friend. Go
immediately. Perhaps it will be helpful.”
Frank Braun made a face, lamented and said, “Only God knows–
Perhaps my prayers can do some good.”
He interrupted himself with a beautiful sigh and continued, “I
remain dutiful, your Excellency. There is just one other thing I have
to ask.”
The commander gave him the telegram back. “What?” he asked.
Frank Braun burst out, “I have no travel money. May I ask your
Excellency to loan me three hundred Marks.”
The general looked suspiciously at him. “No money–Hmm–so
no money either–But wasn’t yesterday the first? Didn’t your money
come?”
“My money came promptly, your Excellency,” he replied
quickly. “But it was gone just as quickly that night!”
The old commander laughed at that.
“Yes, yes. That is how you atone for your crimes, your
misdeeds! So you need three hundred Marks?”
“Yes, your Excellency! My uncle will certainly be very happy to
hear how you have helped me out of this predicament, if I am
permitted.”
The general turned, went to the writing desk, opened it and took
out three little pieces of paper and a moneybox. He gave the prisoner
quill and paper and told him what to write down on the receipt. Then
he gave him the money. Frank Braun took it with a light easy bow.
“I remain dutiful, your Excellency.”
“Think nothing of it,” said the commander. “Go there and come
back right away–Give my compliments to yours truly, his
Excellency.”
“Once again I remain dutiful, your Excellency.”
One last bow and he was outside. He sprang over the six front
steps in one leap and had to restrain himself not to shout out loud.
That was great!
He called a taxi to take him to the Ehrenbreitstein train station.
There he leafed through the departure times and found he still had
three hours to wait. He called to the valet that was waiting with his
suitcase and commanded him to quickly run over to the “Red Cock”
and bring back the ensign from Plessen.
“But bring the right one boy!” he said sharply. “The young
gentleman that just got here not to long ago, the one that wears No.
six on his back. The one that–Wait, your pennies have earned
interest.”
He threw him a ten Mark piece. Then he went into the wine
house, considered carefully, ordered a select supper and sat at the
window looking out at the Sunday citizens as they wandered along the
Rhine.
Finally the ensign came. “What’s up now?”
“Sit down,” said Frank Braun. “Shut up. Don’t ask. Eat, drink
and be merry!”
He gave him a hundred Mark bill. Pay my bill with this. You can
keep the rest–and tell them up there that I’ve gone to Berlin–with a
pass! I want the Sergeant-major to know that I will be back before the
end of the week.”
The blonde ensign stared at him in outright admiration, “Just tell
me–how did you do it?”
“My secret,” said Frank Braun. “But it wouldn’t do you any
good if I did tell you. His Excellency will only be good-natured
enough to fall for it once. Prosit!”
The ensign brought him to the train and handed his suitcase up to
him. Then he waved his hat and handkerchief.
Frank Braun stepped back from the window and forgot in that
same instant the little ensign, his co-prisoners and the fortress. He
spoke with the conductor, stretched out comfortably in his sleeper,
closed his eyes and went to sleep. The conductor had to shake him
very hard to wake him up.
“Where are we?” he asked drowsily.
“Almost to Friedrichstrasse station.”
He gathered his things together, climbed out and went to the
hotel. He got a room, bathed, changed clothes and then went down for
breakfast. He ran into Dr. Petersen at the door.
“Oh there you are dear Doctor! His Excellency will be
overjoyed!”
His Excellency! Again his Excellency! It sounded wrong to his
ears.
“How is my uncle?” he asked. “Better?”
“Better?” repeated the doctor. “What do you mean better? His
Excellency has not been sick!”
“Is that so,” said Frank Braun. “Not sick! That’s too bad. I
thought uncle was on his deathbed.”
Dr. Petersen looked at him very bewildered. “I don’t understand
at all–”
He interrupted him, “It’s not important. I am only sorry that the
Privy Counselor is not on his deathbed. That would have been so
nice! Then I would have inherited right? Unless he has disowned me.
That is also very possible–even more likely.”
He saw the bewildered doctor standing before him and fed on his
discomfort for a moment.
Then he continued, “But tell me doctor, since when has my uncle
been called his Excellency?”
“It’s been four days, the opportunity–”
He interrupted him, “Only four days! And how many years now
have you been with him–as his right hand?”
“Now that would be at least ten years now,” replied Dr. Petersen.
“And for ten years you have called him Privy Councilor and he
has replied back to you. But now in these four days he has become so
completely his Excellency to you that you can’t even think of him any
other way than in the third person?”
“Permit me, Herr Doctor,” said the assistant doctor, intimidated
and pleading. Permit me to–What do you mean anyway?”
But Frank Braun took him under the arm and led him to the
breakfast table.
“Oh, I know that you are a man of the world doctor! One with
form and manners–with an inborn instinct for proper behavior–I know
that–and now doctor, let’s have breakfast and you can tell me what
you have been up to in the meantime.”
Doctor Petersen gratefully sat down, thoroughly reconciled and
happy that was over with. This young attorney that he had known as a
young schoolboy was quite a windbag and a true hothead–but he was
the nephew–of his Excellency.
The assistant doctor was about thirty-six. He was average and
Frank Braun thought that everything about him was “average”. His
nose was not large or small. His features were not ugly or handsome.
He was not young anymore and yet he wasn’t old. The color
of his hair was exactly in the middle between dark and light. He
wasn’t stupid or brilliant either, not exactly boring and yet not
entertaining. His clothes were not elegant and yet not ordinary either.
He was a good “average” in all things and just the man the Privy
Councilor needed. He was a competent worker, intelligent enough to
grasp and do what was asked of him and yet not intelligent enough to
know everything about this colorful game his master played.
“By the way, how much does my uncle pay you?” Frank Braun
asked.
“Oh, not exactly splendid–but it is enough,” was the answer.
“I’m happy with it. At New Years I was given a four hundred Mark
raise.”
The doctor looked hungrily as the nephew began his breakfast
with fruit, eating an apple and a handful of cherries.
“What kind of cigars do you smoke?” the attorney inquired.
“What I smoke? Oh, an average kind–Not too strong–he
interrupted himself. But why do you ask doctor?”
“Only because,” said Frank Braun, “it interests me–But now tell
me what you have already done in these things. Has the Privy
Councilor shared his plans with you?”
“Certainly,” the doctor nodded proudly. “I am the only one that
knows–except for you of course. This effort is of the highest scientific
importance.”
The attorney cleared his throat, “Hmm–you think so?”
“Entirely without a doubt,” confirmed the doctor. “And his
Excellency is so extremely gifted to have thought it all out, taking
care of every possible problem ahead of time. You know how careful
you have to be these days. The foolish public is always attacking us
doctors for so many of our absolutely important experiments. Take
vivisection–God, the people become sick when they hear the word.
What about our experiments with germs, vaccines and so on? They
are all thorns in the eyes of the public even though we almost always
only work with animals. And now, this question of artificial
insemination of people–
His Excellency has found the only possibility in an executed
murderer and a paid prostitute. Even the people loving pastor would
not have much against it.”
“Yes, it is a splendid idea,” Frank Braun confirmed. “It is well
that you can recognize the capacity of your superior.”
Then Dr. Petersen reported how his Excellency had made several
attempts in Cologne with his help. Unfortunately they had not had any
success in finding an appropriate female. It turned out that these
creatures in this class of the population had very different ideas about
having to endure artificial insemination. It was nearly impossible to
talk to them about it at all, much less persuade one to actually do it. It
didn’t matter how eloquent his Excellency spoke or how hard he tried
to make them understand that it would not be dangerous at all; that
they would earn a nice piece of money and be doing the scientific
community a great service. One had screamed loudly that she would
rather service the entire scientific community–and made a very rude
gesture.
“Pfui!” Frank Braun said. “If only she could!”
It was a very good thing that his Excellency had the opportunity
to travel to Berlin for the Gynecological Conference. Here in the
metropolis there would no doubt be a much wider selection to choose
from. The women in question would not be as stupid as in the
province, would have less superstitious fear of the new and be more
open and practical regarding the money they could make and the
important service they could provide to the advancement of science.
“Especially the last!” Frank Braun emphasized.
Dr. Petersen obliged him with:
“It is unbelievable how old fashioned their ideas are in Cologne!
Every Guinea pig, yes, even every monkey is infinitely more
insightful and reasonable than those females. I almost lost my faith in
the towering intellect of humanity. I hope that here I can regain that
shaken belief and make it solid once more.”
“There is no doubt about it,” the attorney encouraged him. “It
would be a real shame indeed if Berlin’s prostitutes couldn’t do any
better than Guinea-pigs and monkeys!
By the way, when is my uncle coming? Is he up already?”
“Oh, he’s been up for a long time now,” declared the assistant
doctor zealously. “His Excellency left immediately. He had a ten
o’clock audience at the Ministry.”
“And after that?” Frank Braun asked.
“I don’t know how long it will last,” reasoned Doctor Petersen.
“In any case his Excellency requested I wait for him in the auditorium
at two o’clock. Then at five o’clock his Excellency has another
important meeting with a Berlin colleague here in the hotel and
around seven his Excellency is invited to eat with the university
president.
Herr Doctor, perhaps you could meet in between–”
Frank Braun considered. Basically he was in favor of his uncle
being occupied the entire day. Then his uncle wouldn’t be around to
interfere with his day.
I want you to deliver a message to my uncle,” he said. “Tell him
we will meet up downstairs in the hotel around eleven o’clock.”








