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By Karl Hans Strobl and translated by Joe E Bandel

Chapter 20

Women who excel in certain sciences or one field often fail in the most important feminine science.

But Hermine is an exception in this regard as well. She has written treatises on botany and was well on her way to becoming a recognized figure in her field. Yet she knows how to arrange and manage her home so that it is exceptionally cozy. She has indeed hung up her botany, but no one has noticed her particularly mourning its loss. The treatise on thylli, left unfinished, has been bound between two sturdy cardboard covers resembling tombstone slabs, and Hermine has inscribed on it: “Satis superque satis!”—”Enough and more than enough!” It seems these are the last Latin words Frau Hermine has written.

Hard to believe how happy one can be when there’s no more microscope to deal with, and the day passes with dusting, cooking, embroidery, and other domestic tasks, with nothing left of past glory except perhaps a bit of music in the evening’s quiet hours.

The Schuhs’ apartment in the Alservorstadt is small but comfortable. Schuh is already talking about moving to a larger place; he’s progressing, has truly become a partner in the galvanoplastic institute. The debts to Reichenbach are repaid; Schuh daydreams of three rooms, a kitchen, and perhaps even a study. It might become necessary, Hermine thinks, but for now, two rooms suffice.

They don’t entertain much; the Schuhs lead a rather secluded life, but visitors feel at ease and leave without taking the peace with them. For Reinhold, staying with the Schuhs is a warm haven in his solitary bachelor existence. He’s very quiet and serious, does his work, reads books and chemical journals, and otherwise knows little what to do with himself. Some families had nurtured false hopes of directing his attention to their daughters, but they soon recognized the futility of their efforts. When Reinhold visited his sister for a while, he would leave again; her home was truly just a soul-warming refuge for him.

Ottane also often came over from the hospital. Lately, however, she was no longer a nurse—something must have happened with Semmelweis’s successor, though Ottane didn’t elaborate. Like Reinhold, she declined the suggestion to live with Hermine. No, she preferred to remain unencumbered; if her father paid her the share of the maternal inheritance due to her, she could live carefree. For now, her savings from her nursing days were enough. And perhaps she’d take a trip someday—she was still considering it.

Sometimes Herr Meisenbiegel, Hermine’s former singing teacher, also visited. He had become a frail old man, never removing his winter coat even in a heated room, scattering snuff tobacco on the floor so that Hermine had to sweep up after he left. He always said only, “Who would have thought it?” By this, he meant who could have imagined that Hermine would become such a capable housewife, for he too had found that his best pupils often failed to shine in this area.

Finally, Doctor Promintzer, Schuh’s lawyer handling the lawsuits against Freiherr von Reichenbach, also came by. He had his apartment in the suburbs and his office on Freyung, and whenever he was nearby, he couldn’t resist climbing the two flights to the Schuhs’ apartment.

Doctor Promintzer was no longer a young man, though he hadn’t lost any of his vigor. Over the years, he had gained a small paunch and a bald spot, which glistened with large sweat beads after climbing the stairs. There he sat, wiping his scalp and offering Hermine pleasantries.

He couldn’t hide from himself that he greatly enjoyed seeing Hermine, who went about her domestic tasks undisturbed by him. His own wife—my God, best not to mention her! Hermine, however, was less fond of Doctor Promintzer. Not that she felt threatened by him, but he was too sharp a tool, too keen a weapon in Schuh’s battle against her father. This feud, dragging on endlessly, was Hermine’s secret sorrow.

The father had started it, of course—he was to blame. Why had he spread that unfortunate, shameful, mad letter back then? Hermine understood Schuh’s need to defend himself against the attack. The father was abrupt, self-righteous, stubborn, unpredictable, deeply irritated by his failures, embittered by his children’s defection and his loneliness. Schuh had countered with a counterblow—fair enough—but he might not have needed to defend his position as ruthlessly as the father did his own; he could have considered mitigating circumstances. Hermine had done so herself; she thought calmly and reconciliatory about the past. She remained silent about it but imagined how lovely it would be if it could all be settled, if the father might one day come through that door and say, “You’ve made it cozy here, children!” or perhaps, “One can really rest here with you.”

It was particularly embarrassing that Schuh had chosen Doctor Promintzer as his lawyer—the very Promintzer who had represented the opposing side in the case with Prince Salm. This was something bound to infuriate the father, who would see it as a deliberate malice that this man was set loose on him again. Promintzer believed he served his client by harassing Reichenbach with every legal trick, and it was Promintzer who had persuaded Schuh to start the pitiful squabble over the maternal inheritance.

And now Promintzer sat there, saying, “Do you know… no, you couldn’t know yet… well, the government has suddenly slashed import duties on iron to speed up railway expansion.”

“Hm!” said Schuh, perking up.

Promintzer sat there, having removed his glasses, wiping them with a handkerchief and squinting nearsightedly at Hermine. “Do you understand what that means? Pay attention! So, the price of iron domestically will take a steep dive. And all those who switched to producing railway tracks will have to wipe their noses. Do you get it now? Freiherr von Reichenbach miscalculated. He was led astray by that Hofrat Reißnagel… and now he’ll have to sell. We must ensure we get our money.”

He had thought this would be welcome news for the Schuhs—yes, now the Freiherr would be humbled and forced off his high horse, and the young couple would have the satisfaction of seeing their adversary crushed by a divine judgment in the form of new tariff rates.

But Schuh only said, “Hm!” again and offered no opinion. And Hermine said nothing at all. She sat with her sewing by the window, her heart tightening.

Doctor Promintzer continued for a while, talking about the economic impacts of the new tariff and such, then had to leave, greatly puzzled that he hadn’t achieved the expected effect. He couldn’t comprehend a state of mind that didn’t rejoice in the downfall of an enemy—even if it was one’s own father.

He might have been on the street when Ottane, who was visiting, said, “You should put an end to this ugly business. As for me, I renounce my share of the maternal inheritance… I don’t want it to come to the worst.”

Hermine looked up from her sewing, her gaze seeking Schuh. He sat with his back to the room at his desk, rummaging through papers. She said, “That fellow Ruf seems to have run off with a lot of money too. The father is so alone now.”

“There’s Friederike,” Schuh grunted without turning around, “she’s a decent woman. She’ll take care of him.”

“As for me,” Ottane began again after a pause, “I’m happy to renounce it. I’ll manage anyway.” Then she added hesitantly, “By the way, I’ll finally start my trip next week.”

“You’re really going to travel?” asked Hermine, surprised, for Ottane had talked about this trip for so long that no one believed it would actually happen.

Schuh gave his chair a spin and turned his face to Ottane: “Really? And where are you going?”

“I’d like to go to Italy,” Ottane’s delicate nose quivered as if already scenting the fragrances of the promised southland, and her eyes gleamed with a steadfast gaze into the distance. “I’ve put it off long enough… but now it must be.”

“Well, Italy,” said Schuh, turning back to his desk on his chair. “I’d like to go there someday too.”

Hermine smiled and gave Ottane a nod. As Ottane stood by the window seat, Hermine lifted the item she was working on with the same smile and showed it to her sister. It was a tiny crocheted bonnet, and Hermine was just sewing blue silk ribbons onto it.

She nodded in response to Ottane’s silent question: “Yes!”

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OD by Karl Hans Strobl and translated by Joe E Bandel

“Yes… and this time for good, Ottane!” Max Heiland made a small hand motion over his eyes, as if wiping away a veil—a thin, annoying wisp like a spiderweb.

Perhaps it was this small gesture that left Ottane utterly defenseless. Yes, it was still the same graceful, skilled, beautiful hand that had once unraveled her with tender caresses—a hand whose imagined touch in sleepless nights still set her body ablaze. And now that life-giving hand passed over Max Heiland’s eyes, brushing away an invisible spiderweb. Ottane stood before Max Heiland, trembling to the roots of her being, to the last drop of her blood.

“When do you plan to travel?” she asked finally.

“I think in two to three weeks I’ll be ready; I still have some things to arrange. I’d like to go to Italy—Venice, Florence, Rome… one wants to see something yet…”

“Yes… certainly!” said Ottane, and her heart tore at the dreadful conclusion she drew from Max Heiland’s final sentence.

“May I come to bid you farewell before I leave?” Max Heiland hesitated.

“Come!” said Ottane firmly, extending her hand.

“You must have patience,” Hofrat Reißnagel consoled Freiherr von Reichenbach. “In Austria, everything always takes three times as long as elsewhere. But suddenly the railway construction will take off here too, and then you’ll have the advantage. The capital you’re now pouring into the tracks will yield a hundred percent return.”

Hofrat Reißnagel spoke easily, but the capital in question wasn’t something to be brushed aside. It was high time to see some of the promised returns. Meanwhile, Reichenbach had to pile mortgage upon mortgage, and it still wasn’t enough; overdue bills occasionally caused trouble.

Ruf had gone to the city to collect money that had to be sent out today. He was expected back by noon, but it turned to afternoon and evening, and Ruf still hadn’t appeared at Kobenzl. Ruf had reformed his lifestyle, performing his duties conscientiously; the reinstated accountant Dreikurs kept a close watch on him. But today, Dreikurs had traveled to Krems for the baptism of his third grandchild, so Ruf had to be sent to the bank instead. Could it be that he had succumbed to a relapse into his former recklessness on the way? The Freiherr grew uneasy; sitting at a heuriger with a bag of money—God knows in whose company—was risky. Besides, there were rumors that a vagrant had been spotted lurking in the woods around Kobenzl, frightening the market women.

Early the next morning, the Freiherr went to the dairy himself to inquire at Ruf’s lodging. “The father hasn’t come home,” said Friederike, looking at the Freiherr as if the Last Judgment stood before the door.

Reichenbach rushed to the city and to the bank. Yes, the steward Ruf had been there yesterday morning and withdrawn the money—fifteen thousand gulden. They took the liberty of informing the Freiherr that this exceeded his account, and they requested new collateral. The Freiherr’s knees began to wobble; a sudden roar filled his ears, as if he stood amid his Ternitz ironworks.

“Fifteen thousand gulden?” he asked.

Yes, fifteen thousand, confirmed by the Freiherr’s authorization. They recalled it clearly—Ruf had been in a hurry and left with a woman who had come with him and waited.

“Very well,” said the Freiherr, “I will arrange for the collateral.”

“Have you seen Baron Reichenbach?” the procurator asked the cashier after the Freiherr had left. “He doesn’t look well at all. I believe this scandal has affected him more than he lets on. Have you read that Reckoning by this Herr Schuh against Reichenbach? What do you think of it? And now Reichenbach and Schuh are in a lawsuit with each other. Let’s hope our settlement with the Baron doesn’t turn into a lawsuit too!”

The procurator enjoyed such jests, but the Freiherr felt no amusement as he drove home from the police. They had asked if he had any idea where the steward might have gone with the embezzled money. The Freiherr had no clue; he only suspected Ruf might have a woman with him. Perhaps that offered a lead. They promised to do their utmost but didn’t hide that it would be challenging with the twenty-four-hour head start the swindler had.

When the Freiherr re-entered Ruf’s lodging, Friederike immediately knew what had happened. “Yes,” said Reichenbach, “he took a draft for fifteen thousand gulden; he must have added a one and fled with fifteen thousand.”

Friederike backed against the wall where her father’s prized pipe collection hung, pressing her clenched fists to her mouth. She stifled a scream, forcing it back into her chest, but the innate cry raged like a wild beast within her.

“He’s being sought by the police,” the Freiherr added.

“And I… and I,” Friederike finally managed to say, “it was I who begged you to overlook it for him.”

“I shouldn’t have put him to the test,” Reichenbach remarked.

He genuinely reproaches himself. Naturally, he can’t spare Friederike’s feelings; he must state the truth, but seeing the girl in her utter misery, he can’t help but take some of the blame upon himself to lessen the blow for her.

He steps to the window and gazes into the courtyard, where the maid is mucking out the pigsty. A farmhand passes with a pair of horses, and the pigeons, vying for the chickens’ feed, flutter up with clattering wings. In the bare top of the chestnut tree sits a large black raven—the bird of death, the omen bird—already surveying the yard.

He’ll likely have to sell all this soon, just as he sold his estates Nißko and Goya. Where will he find the collateral? The beams are already creaking under the mortgages.

Not a sound comes from Friederike; it’s as if she’s left the room.

But as Reichenbach turns back, he sees her collapsing against the wall.

She grasps for support, pulling down one of her father’s large meerschaum pipes, its gold-brown smoked head shattering on the floor. Reichenbach arrives just in time to catch the girl before she falls.

He lifts her and carries her to the bed; spasms ripple across her body, her hands clench into fists then relax, her legs stiffen, and her mouth trembles with pain. Yet amid all this, the girl’s face holds a delicate, touching beauty—touching especially for that mysteriously familiar quality Reichenbach can’t name. Reichenbach is deeply dissatisfied with himself for blurting it out so harshly; he feels as if he’s trampled young crops with waders. There lies the girl, looking at him like her executioner yet with such submission, as if he couldn’t possibly hurt her.

He places his left hand on her head and strokes her forehead with his right. “Now, now,” he says, “it’s not so bad that it can’t be made right again.”

After the third stroke across Friederike’s forehead, she closes her eyes, and her body loses all spasmodic rigidity. She seems to have fallen asleep, lying with closed eyes, breathing calmly; her misery is at least lifted for a time. And Reichenbach thinks he could now slip away.

But then Friederike says softly, yet perfectly clearly: “No, please, don’t go!” What’s this? Is Friederike not asleep? Or is she asleep and speaking from that state? And how could she know he was about to leave, how could she know before he betrayed it with a movement? Is this no ordinary sleep into which he inadvertently plunged her? Reichenbach pulls himself together—no fantastical speculations now; it’s time for precise observation. He will think of something specific; he will, for example, think that Friederike should ask for a glass of water.

At that moment, Friederike’s lips move as if sensing the discomfort of thirst, and then she says, “Please, give me a glass of water.”

By God, it’s true—the girl can pluck unspoken thoughts from Reichenbach’s mind; it’s no ordinary sleep, it’s a somnambulistic state in which she lies before him. Friederike is odically linked to him; the Od developing the processes in his brain has penetrated her and conveys to her somnambulistic consciousness the knowledge of his thoughts. It’s as he said—the Od also explains the phenomena of thought-reading.

Reichenbach reaches into his coat pocket and grasps a key. “Do you know what I’m holding?” he asks breathlessly, without pulling it out.

“You have a key in your hand,” says Friederike.

The Freiherr has never pursued these matters before; he had classified them theoretically among Od’s effects but hadn’t yet approached them with experiments. New territory opens before him—he has had a girl beside him for years who surpasses all other test subjects in sensitive powers, and precisely Friederike he never drew in or tested for her odic abilities. He hadn’t the slightest thought of it, and it’s as if she had hidden from him, as if she had avoided him.

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Homo Sapiens: Overboard by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

XVIII.

Falk and Isa sat in the train compartment that same evening! They were heading to Paris. 

“Do you love me?” she asked, looking at him happily. 

Falk didn’t answer. He squeezed her hand and gazed into her eyes with infinite tenderness. 

“You, my… You!” They sat for a long time, pressed close together. She grew tired. He made her a bed of blankets, wrapped her up, and kept looking at her with the same fervent, tender warmth. 

“You, my… my…” 

“Kiss me!” She closed her eyes. 

He kissed her fleetingly, as if hesitant to touch her. “Now sleep, sleep…” 

“Yes.” 

He sat across from her. 

Now she was his woman. Now he was happy. 

He barely thought of Mikita. Strange, how little he cared about him. But if… oh God, one goes to ruin because one lacks the ability to live, because the actual conditions for life are missing, so because one must go to ruin; no one is to blame for that. 

Had he gone to ruin? No! His torment was something entirely different. Those were the feverish paroxysms that produced the great will. Yes: he suddenly understood it. How could he put it? The new will—the will born from instincts—the will… 

Hmm, how could he say it? The will of instincts, unhindered by conscious barriers, by atavistic feelings… the will where instinct and mind become one. 

He still had to suffer because he was a transitional man, he still fevered because he had to overcome the mind. But he wouldn’t suffer once he’d overcome that piece of posthumous past, those atavistic remnants in himself. 

Suddenly, he laughed quietly to himself. 

God, God, this foolish, idiotic reasoning. This nonsensical babble about a new will and such things. In the end, he’d think himself an Übermensch, because—well, because his sexuality was so ruthless, and because she followed him out of love. 

In the end, he just wanted to numb himself a bit… Nonsense! 

He looked at her. She was his, she was his because she had to be his… And they were heading into happiness… 

He stepped to the window. 

He saw trees and fields and station buildings flash by. 

All this will be yours, if only this new will is there, the will of instincts sanctified by the mind. 

He thought of Napoleon. 

No! That wasn’t it. That was the will of a fanatical epileptic—of a… 

Strange that he kept instinctively searching for examples of similar ruthlessness… 

Those were probably just remnants of the torments he’d been through. Now he had happiness, and he would enjoy it. 

And he stretched tall in the feeling of his great happiness, which he had won through his will. 

Everything else lay behind him as an experience, a powerful, blood-filled experience, a reproach, material for a great, shattering soul drama. 

She seemed to be sleeping. 

That was the woman he didn’t know. But he didn’t need to know her. Why should he? He had her now, he had wrested her from another. 

He was the elk… no! That was too animalistic. The image of torn entrails hanging from antlers was painful to him. 

With all his strength, he fought against a giant mass of painful, unpleasant feelings… Heh, heh… as if someone had poked a wasp’s nest. 

But he calmed down again. 

It all had to happen this way. Strange that he kept falling back into old notions of free will, of a will that can act… 

And now—now… Where was it carrying him now? 

Into happiness! Into an endless happiness full of new, unknown joys and pleasures… 

Oh, how proud, how happy, how powerful he felt. 

And the train raced and raced… Houses, villages, and cities flashed by the windows, and deep in the sky, a star glowed in dim, violet light…

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Homo Sapiens: Overboard by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

XVII.

Mikita wandered through Munich as if in a dream. He did everything his friends advised, went wherever they said he should, but he felt things were bad, very bad with him. 

Now he had to leave. He would’ve loved to stay in Munich, but he had nothing left to do. And he needed something to do. Anything. 

He walked slowly to the station. Yes, he had to go back to Berlin. He really should’ve said goodbye to his friends, but that was so awkward. They’d want to go to the station with him, make jokes, offer kindnesses… no! He had to be alone. 

Strange how his thoughts spread out wide! Before, they’d tumble over each other, making it hard to know what he wanted, and now everything was so neatly broad, comfortable, clear. 

His voice had grown quiet too. 

Only this strange trembling that could seize him for hours, this odd vanishing of consciousness—oh! That was horrific. 

He felt fear that it would come back. 

Suddenly, he stopped in front of a weapons shop. He recalled the thousand travel stories he’d read in newspapers. It wasn’t impossible that something like that could happen to him. Yes, he could be attacked. Good God! Why shouldn’t what happened to a thousand others happen to him? He laughed quietly to himself. 

Yes! Strange, this thinking. He hadn’t skipped a single word. 

He saw the manifold weapons in the shop window. How terribly inventive people are! 

*To be or not to be*… flashed through his mind. 

*To be or not to be*… Now he just needed a fitting cloak and a skull… Damn it all! He’d have to rehearse that in front of a mirror! Little Mikita… marvelous. He’d probably look like the small opera singer Sylva in the garb of the giant hero Siegfried. 

He went into the shop. 

The first thing that caught his eye was a large tear-off calendar. 

April 1—he read the huge letters. *Prima Aprilis*… lots of surprises today. 

He asked for a revolver but was so tired he had to sit down. 

Was it absolutely necessary to return to Berlin today? Couldn’t he wait until he’d recovered a bit? 

Then he perked up again. 

Distance is of the utmost importance for love. Falk is gone too. She must’ve been bored the whole time. She always needed someone around her. If he returned now… Why shouldn’t what happened to a thousand others happen to him? 

Hadn’t he read in a hundred novels that distance rekindles a fading love! 

Good God! Writers aren’t made of cardboard… How beautifully and thoroughly they’ve described it! 

He paid for the revolver and left. 

One hope replaced another. His steps quickened. He stretched tall. It felt as if new muscles suddenly sprang into action. 

And so a restlessness came over him, a tension so great he thought he couldn’t endure the long journey. 

A fever began to burn in his brain. 

He thought of Isa; he thought of how happy they were, how she loved and admired him. He was the mighty artist she revered in him. 

But it wasn’t just the artist. No, no! She loved to nestle against him, to stroke him… Her—her—oh God, how he loved her! How he wasn’t himself, how every thread of his being was knotted with hers—so inseparably… 

But of course she got tired, he’d tormented her endlessly with his jealousy, his… his… 

Yes, now, now… she was so good. She’d forgiven him everything. 

There—yes, there she’d stand, reaching out her hands, throwing herself against his chest: Thank God you’re here! I’ve longed for you so endlessly. 

Yes, she’ll do that! he cried out. He knew it for sure. 

But… yes! Hadn’t she sent only one brief note in response to his letters, saying she was doing well… 

He struck his head. 

Oh, you foolish Mikita! What do you know of women? What do you know of their cunning… Yes, of course! How could he torment himself over that? It’s perfectly clear… and it’s right that she punishes me like this… 

And he convinced himself with clear, piercing arguments that he’d completely misunderstood everything, that it was just feminine cunning, feminine cleverness… no, no, what did Falk call it… innate selective cunning… 

Yes, Falk had a word for everything… 

But the closer he got to Berlin, the stronger his unrest grew. The old torment rose again, and the last two hours, he was nothing but a helpless prey to the wildest agony of pain. 

He was tormented like an animal! It’s unheard of, what a person must endure—unheard of! 

And he paced back and forth in the compartment, jumped and twitched, and then suddenly that horrific trembling seized his whole body, making him think he’d go mad with pain and fear. 

Isa received him with a cold, embarrassed smile. She was busy packing. 

With a jolt, Mikita felt a clear, icy clarity. 

He could just as well leave, but he was so exhausted he had to sit down. 

Isa turned away. 

“You!” he suddenly shouted hoarsely at her, without looking. 

He couldn’t go on. On the table, he saw a pair of green silk stockings. Some hidden, sexual association stirred in him, he grabbed the stockings and tore them to pieces. 

Isa looked at him with contempt. Now she finally found the courage. 

“What do you want from me? I don’t love you.” She tested whether she could say it. 

“I don’t love you. You’re completely foreign to me…” 

She wanted to add something about Falk, but she couldn’t. She saw that doglike, submissive quality in him. 

He became repulsive to her. 

She said something else, then he heard nothing more. He went out to the street. 

He’d read somewhere that in such moments you understand nothing, but he’d understood everything, so clearly, so distinctly. She didn’t even need to say it. 

Why was the street so empty?… Aha! It was Sunday, and everyone went out to the countryside… Sunday… *prima Aprilis*—afternoon—he looked at his watch—six in the afternoon… *To be or not to be*—Yes, if I stand before the mirror with a Hamlet cloak and a skull in hand, I’d have to mention the fact of time in the final monologue. 

He could never have imagined he’d think so clearly, so calmly, so rationally before his end… 

Yes—Garborg was right. Once you know you must inevitably die, you’re completely calm. 

Yes, yes… writers are always the ones who… He walked very slowly, but now he stopped. 

That foolish boy had irritated him for a while. Yes, for some time he must’ve been watching him. 

He was probably going to a girl, wanted small feet, and had bought boots too tight. And now he had to stop every moment, and to mask his corns, he pretended to look at shop windows. 

There—there… now he stopped again! 

A sudden rage seized Mikita against this foolish boy. He approached him with a stern expression. 

“You, young sir, got some mighty corns, huh?” 

The young man looked at him, stunned, then grew angry, deep red with rage. 

Mikita felt afraid. 

“That’s vile insolence!” the young man shouted. 

Mikita shrank fearfully. “Sorry… you know… wax mood-rings in the watch…” 

He hurried away. 

God, how unkind people become—they yell at me, plague me, torment me to the blood—yes… *saigner à blanc*… 

Yes, he felt tears running down his cheeks. 

Come on, Mikita! A lot of bad things have happened to you, but you don’t need to cry… Damn it! Pull yourself together! 

He grew angry. 

Foolish man with your sentimental comedies! Why are you sniveling? Sensing some beautiful sex nearby that’s making you all teary? Huh? The beautiful sex… yeah, right!… 

He went up to his studio and locked the door. 

He looked at a painting. That hideous distortion! How hadn’t he noticed? He had to fix it right away!… 

He grabbed a brush, but his hand flailed aimlessly. 

He went mad, seized the painting in senseless rage, and tore it to pieces. 

Then he threw himself on the sofa. But he sprang up again, as if possessed by a thousand devils. 

“Isa!” he cried out—“Isa!” 

He began to laugh. A laughing fit, choking him. 

He rolled on the floor. He banged his head against the floorboards, grabbed a chair, smashed it to pieces, a frenzy of destruction raging in him. 

When he came to, it was night. 

He was exhausted. His mind was unhinged. 

Only one thing, the last thing: Yes, God, what was it, what was he supposed to do? 

Suddenly, he felt something heavy in his pocket. 

Aha! Yes, right! Right… He wandered around the room, searching, repeating endlessly: Yes, right, right… 

That was it! The revolver in his pocket must’ve chafed the skin on his leg. It burned so. Sit down! Right? That was probably the right thing. 

How the calm hurt! 

He took the revolver; it took a long time to load it. His hands no longer obeyed his will. 

He got very angry. 

Of course, sit down first. That was the most important thing. He sat down. 

In the heart? Sure! That was a good idea. You usually shoot a millimeter higher and get cured! Heh, heh… 

Suddenly, he fell into aimless brooding, forgetting everything. 

All at once, he heard singing in the courtyard. A sudden unrest seized him. He gripped the revolver tightly. 

Quick! Quick! 

Something whipped him into a terrible unrest. In one second, he wouldn’t be able to do it. 

And with a sudden jolt, he shoved the weapon deep into his mouth and pulled the trigger…

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Homo Sapiens: Overboard by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

XV.

Falk sat in his hotel room, brooding. 

Why had he even come here? He could just as well have tormented himself in Berlin. 

It must be six days now? 

He reflected. Yes, he’d been here six days. 

But now he couldn’t take it anymore. No, impossible. Yes, he had to state, without any self-pity, simply as a bare fact, that he couldn’t endure this torment any longer. He would surely go to ruin. Every day, something in him broke that was whole yesterday, every day his disgust for life grew—and this pain… 

To go to ruin over a woman? He, the artist, he… Ha, ha, ha… As if it weren’t better to go to ruin over a woman than over some idiotic stroke, or typhoid, or diphtheria… 

Oh, you foolish Iltis! How shallow you are! At least I go to ruin over myself; I go to ruin over what makes up my innermost soul’s structure. And she, yes, she: that’s me, me, whom you’ve never seen, whom I only now recognized in myself. 

He couldn’t finish the thought… 

Go to ruin over your drunkenness or persecution mania if you think that’s more worthy of a man—I go to ruin over myself… 

But why the devil go to ruin? I want to be happy—I want to live… 

He suddenly lost the thread of thought. His mind had been so scattered lately. 

He sat and sat, noticing he was completely numb. He forced himself to think. 

Hmm; he’d never done anything without controlling himself. Yes, the first two days, he still had himself in hand. He worked on her with conscious means… 

Good God! That ridiculous swan story! How stupidly made up, how clumsy… brash, yes, brash… 

And then came the vortex, the whirl… His brain began to spin around itself, circling faster and faster into the abyssal funnel of sexuality… 

The dance—the dance… 

He suddenly saw a spiderweb in the corner. He stared at it long and intently, but his eyes closed. 

Yes, he was tired, terribly tired, he felt a tearing in his limbs… Yes, three—no, four hours he’d walked, to kill the pain with exhaustion, to sleep without that wretched poison, that morphine… 

Now he had to fix his eyes on a shiny object. He stared at the brass doorknob for a while. 

He only felt tears running down his cheeks… 

It was a glorious autumn day. Bright, clear noon. He looked at the tall tower of the Redeemer Church in Copenhagen. Mikita stood beside him, waving his handkerchief. 

Farvel! Farvel! he heard shouted, but he saw no people. Suddenly, he noticed a tearful young man beside him. He was probably headed to Stettin for a wholesale business… 

How many nautical miles did this steamer make in an hour? You!—Mikita excitedly pointed out an English coal steamer. 

Two cabin boys were boxing as if they’d gone mad. He saw them leap at each other like roosters. In an instant, they became a tangled heap rolling on the deck, then breaking apart and rolling again. Then he saw them spring up and start again with renewed fury. He saw fists flying back and forth, then they tumbled down the cabin stairs, reappeared, and again he saw the heap rolling on the deck… 

Falk woke up, opened his eyes, and closed them again. 

“You, Erik, look at this marvelous night on the water and this shimmering—this glowing… Good God, if you could paint that!” 

“You dear fellow!” 

And they sat and drank. The night was so black. They sat close together. 

And suddenly, a frenzy seized them. They grabbed each other. He lifted Mikita up, wanting to throw him overboard. But Mikita was nimble. He slipped under his arms and grabbed his legs. Desperately, Falk pounded Mikita’s head with his fists, but Mikita didn’t care, he carried him, yes, he wanted to throw him into the sea, now they were at the railing, now… now… Then he got something hard under his feet. He threw his whole body over Mikita, making him buckle, with one grip he seized his hips, and with a terrific thrust: Mikita flew overboard in a wide arc. 

Falk woke up. 

He stood in the middle of the room with clenched fists. He came to himself. 

A wild hatred burned in him, a savage urge to fight. Overboard! Overboard! 

He clenched his teeth. He was cold. He paced back and forth. 

Who would rob him of his happiness, for whose sake should he go to ruin?! 

Gradually, he calmed down. 

It became clear to him now: one had to go overboard, him or Mikita. 

She no longer loved Mikita! What did Mikita want from her? Who was Mikita anyway? He’d been with him at school, starved with him—and yes, what else? What more? 

He sat down and let his head hang limply. 

This sick, mad longing for her he’d never felt before… 

Overboard! Him or me. 

The vortex seizes us both, one to happiness… only one to happiness… 

And that’s me! 

He stretched tall. 

He saw the elk before him, the trembling, blood-splattered victor. And an unprecedented unrest seized him. 

He tore open his clothes and buttoned them again. He searched for money, rummaged through all his pockets, couldn’t find it, raged, ran around, sweat beading on his forehead. 

He had to go to her now. He had to. He couldn’t bear it anymore. And he threw himself over the bed, tossing everything around, and finally found his wallet under the pillow. 

If only it’s not too late, if only it’s not too late… He looked at his watch. It had stopped. 

He rang the bell frantically. 

The waiter hurried up. “When does the train to Berlin leave?”  

“In about an hour.” 

“Quick, quick, the bill. Hurry, for God’s sake…” 

When Falk arrived in Berlin, it was already late in the evening. 

It suddenly became clear: he had to go to Mikita’s. 

Yes, he had to tell him openly that he shouldn’t deceive himself, that Isa no longer loved him, and if she hadn’t told him, it was probably only to spare him the pain as long as possible, she pitied him… 

Yes, he had to tell him openly. It was endlessly awkward. 

But why? Mikita was a complete stranger to him. 

But the closer he got to Mikita’s apartment, the heavier it felt. 

No! He couldn’t tell Mikita that. 

He tried to recall what Mikita had once meant to him, how he had loved him… 

He could hardly breathe. 

He stood indecisively outside Mikita’s apartment. 

Yes, he had to, he had to… or… oh God! Yes, then he’d have to go back. 

And he relived the horrific torment of those six days. Horrible! Horrible! he murmured. 

He went up. 

“Is Mr. Mikita at home?” 

“No! He’s gone to Munich.” 

Falk stood on the stairs. He couldn’t grasp the happiness. This happiness! 

He repeated it again, but he couldn’t feel joy. And now to Isa—to Isa! 

He thought only of her. He tried to imagine how she’d receive him, he thought of a thousand little details he’d noticed about her, he thought intensely, convulsively, to drown out something in him that wanted to speak, that resisted and fought against this great happiness. 

Then suddenly: He mustn’t go to Isa! He had to wait until Mikita returned. He had to tell him everything, so Mikita wouldn’t accuse him of cowardice, wouldn’t say he’d seduced his bride behind his back. 

Yes! He had to wait. 

But that was impossible for him—physically impossible. Now everything in him was stretched to the breaking point; one more thousandth of a millimeter, and it would collapse. 

Why had he come back? 

As long as he could bear the torment, he’d stayed away and fought bravely and been good, but then… 

He pulled himself together sharply. 

No, enough of arguments now! He’d do what he had to do, even if ten, a thousand feelings resisted… God, yes, he didn’t deny that each of those feelings carried a certain degree of necessity, but in the end, the final, mighty, inevitable necessity always won! 

And he thought it through to the finest detail, but he didn’t feel happier. 

Deep in the background, he felt a dull fear, an embarrassed, shameful pain, and then he felt everything merge into one feeling, an endlessly sad feeling of not being himself, of not belonging to himself. 

He passed a clock. He flinched sharply. 

In a quarter of an hour, the door would be locked, then he couldn’t see her. Not today… He groaned. 

Now you must decide. You must. You must. 

He felt a painful tension in every fiber, every muscle. He walked faster and faster. 

No, no! No more thinking, no more; now I must go to her… Come what may… 

He still thought, still tried to fight, but he knew he’d do it anyway. 

And then: with a jolt, he threw all thoughts from his mind and quickly climbed the stairs. 

But as he was about to ring, that paralyzing fear gripped him again. He put his finger to the electric bell button several times but didn’t dare press it. Then he leaned against the wall, feeling suddenly so heavy. He went down a few steps, counting them; then he heard the jingle of keys below, and all at once, he recalled his necessity, the final necessity that must always win. 

He went back up and rang. A maid opened the door. 

“Is Fräulein Isa…” 

“Fräulein Isa is not receiving; she’s forbidden anyone to be let in…” 

“But tell her I must speak to her…” He almost shouted it, not knowing why. 

At that moment, a door opened: Isa stood in the hallway. 

Falk walked toward her; without a word, they entered the room. 

They took each other’s hands and both trembled. 

Then she threw her arms around his neck and wept loudly.

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Chapter 13: Winter’s Forge

As Tobal mingled after the chevron ceremony, the night air still buzzing with the circle’s energy, Ellen approached with a thoughtful smile. She rested a hand on his shoulder, her voice warm. “Tobal, you’ve shown real growth with your trainees. You’ve been a steady presence in our meditation group these past two times—will you join us again tomorrow morning? It’s a good chance to reflect and strengthen.” He nodded, grateful for the continuity. “I’ll be there.” Later, as he moved through the crowd, Fiona and Becca caught up, their faces lit with energy. “Tobal,” Fiona said with a grin, “we’re heading to Sanctuary soon—want to travel with us? It’d be a good chance to get to know each other better.” Becca added softly, “It might help us clear the air.” Tobal hesitated, the tension with Becca still raw, but their enthusiasm tugged at him. “I’d like to,” he said slowly, “but I’m committed to the meditation group in the morning. What do you think about joining me there first?” Fiona’s eyes widened. “What meditation group?” Becca tilted her head, curious. “Yeah, what’s that?” Ellen, overhearing, stepped back in with a chuckle. “It’s a small gathering where we explore the Lord and Lady’s teachings, seeking deeper connections. Tobal’s been with us before—his insights have been a gift. You’re both welcome; it could guide your paths too.” Fiona clapped his shoulder. “Alright, we’re in!” Becca nodded, a shy smile breaking through. “Let’s do it, then travel together after.” Tobal felt a tentative bridge forming, agreeing, “Sounds good—let’s make it work.”

Circle that month was eventful; Tobal had never seen eight people get initiated at the same time. The initiations started early and continued late into the night. Everyone was tired, and the party didn’t get going until well after midnight. After the initiations, the drum circle began, and it was party time. In all, it was a good time, and the night went by very fast. It was early August, and the sight of naked bodies dancing wildly around the central fire was as intoxicating as the home-brewed beer.

One of the wilder dancers was Zee. She beckoned him to join in the dance, and on impulse, he threw his robe to the ground and leapt into the circle of cavorting bodies, giving himself away to the driving rhythm. The energy in the circle was intense, and the drummers never seemed to tire or stop.

Later, during a break, she was leaning on him with her arm around his shoulder, and he felt her breast against him. “I’m sitting out the winter and wondering if you’d like to partner up with me,” she said with a playful smile. He was flattered, and she was an inviting partner. Regretfully, he squeezed one of her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Zee, I’m going to be training newbies all winter. Otherwise, I would, really.” “Fine then,” she pouted and abruptly turned back to the dance.

Kevin had been watching and came over casually, asking, “How are things going?” “She’s really something, isn’t she?” he added, watching her retreating rear move in time to the drums as her braided raven hair flew about like a whip. “I think she’s looking for a winter partner,” Tobal volunteered. Kevin shot a quick look at him. “Are you interested?” “No, I’m training newbies this winter,” Tobal replied. “That’s really hard, they say,” Kevin glanced once more at Zee. “I’m not even thinking about it myself. I might have to go over and introduce myself.” Kevin chuckled and drained his mug of beer. He set it down beside his robe and disappeared into the dance, slowly working his way over to Zee and cavorting his lanky muscular body in front of her.

Tobal avoided Ox, who was drunk, belligerent, and telling stories about training his last newbie. Ox was complaining how no one could get newbies anymore because some people were taking them all and not training them properly. Everyone knew that newbies needed more than a month to train before they could solo. He didn’t think the elders should have let Nick solo and was letting everyone in camp know about it too.

The month went by quickly, and all too soon it was time to go to the gathering spot. He didn’t think Sarah was quite ready to solo and wanted to work with the others in preparing them for the coming winter months.

The days were getting shorter by early September, and there was a chill in the air at night and frost in the mornings. The first major snowstorm could come any time, and they could be snowed in for weeks. He talked with Sarah, and she thought spending another month on winter preparation was a good idea. She needed more winter training, and he thought the others did too.

The morning of circle, Zee, Nikki, Kevin, and Ox all proclaimed their newbies ready to solo. They were all interviewed and questioned by the elders and approved for soloing. Each of them had winter gear they had to show the elders. It was very clear the elders were concerned about the training newbies were getting now that a sudden storm could snow a person in for weeks at a time. Tobal made a point of congratulating the two girls and Kevin. He didn’t care about Ox and avoided him as much as possible.

With the approvals settled, Zee was a little cool toward him but returned his congratulatory hug and started talking a little. “I was mad at you for a while,” she said. “I didn’t really think you meant it about training all winter. I thought you were just rejecting me, and no woman likes that.” She put her hands on her hips and wiggled them a little with a grin. “Then I remembered Rafe and how last year he trained at least two newbies, and I wasn’t so sure anymore.” “Zee,” I really am training newbies this winter. If I weren’t, you would be a good partner. We’ve always gotten along pretty good. Have you found anyone to partner up with yet?” She sighed, “You are serious, aren’t you? I have a few people in mind, but I haven’t really made a decision yet. I want to take this month off and work on my winter base camp first.”

He noticed she hadn’t specifically mentioned Kevin and decided to ask him, but first, he wanted to congratulate Nikki on training her first newbie and wandered off to find her after wishing Zee well on her base camp project.

Nikki was getting her robe from Angel as he got his. They went to the teepee where they had left their packs and were changing into the robes. “How did you like training your first newbie?” He asked casually. “It was great! I’m training another this month,” she looked at him. “I really want to train another one before winter sets in. Do you think I can?” “I don’t know,” he told her. “I’ve already decided I need to go back and help Fiona and Sarah get better prepared for winter. Their newbies could use a little extra training too.” She thought about that a bit. “Zee did a really good job of getting me prepared for winter weather, and my newbie is well prepared too. I don’t think we will have any trouble. I know it’s a sore spot, but perhaps two months of training is needed. Have you ever thought about it?” He bit back an angry retort and instead simply said, “I do think training newbies during the winter should take two months. There is too much to learn about winter gear like snowshoes and working with furs for winter clothing. Anyone that I train this winter will get two months of training.” Nikki beamed, “I’m so glad to hear that, Tobal. We all worry about the newbies and how hard it must be for them in the winter. I haven’t spent a winter here yet, but I’m pretty confident things will go well. That’s why I want one more newbie. I will probably end up spending the winter with them unless they decide to solo and go out on their own.” Nikki’s plan sounded uncomfortably like his own. He still planned to train through the winter but didn’t really have any idea if it would work out or not. What if his newbie didn’t want to solo or move out and build a base camp on their own in the middle of the winter?

He was still thinking about these things as he wandered over to see how Kevin was doing. Kevin was helping set up some of the teepee shelters for the night. Tobal joined in until all the teepees were set up and fires laid in them. “I’m still hoping Zee will partner up with me for the winter,” Kevin told Tobal with a blush. “She hasn’t said yes, and she hasn’t said no. It’s driving me crazy because I really need some sort of plan. I don’t want to work on my own base camp if I’m not going to be living there.” “Say, that’s an idea,” Tobal reflected. “Zee says she wants to spend this month getting her camp ready for winter. Perhaps you can offer to help, and it will allow each of you to see how you get along together. That way, she won’t need to commit to anything until she gets to know you better.” Kevin brightened, “I’m going to try,” he said. “I’ll talk to her about it later tonight.” “Good Luck!”

During circle, he noticed Ellen was training Misty to be High Priestess. He had forgotten that Misty was a Master now. He was going to miss Ellen and wondered what she would be doing next. It was strange to see people he knew advance on to different positions. He noticed earlier that Rafe had been put on wood crew along with Dirk. That meant they were responsible for there being enough firewood at the gathering spot for circle. Everyone was encouraged to help, but only a few Journeymen were actually tasked to ensure there was enough wood. Angel would be given new duties next month as well. He noticed this morning that she now had four chevrons and seemed to be moving up the ranks more quickly than Rafe was.

Since Journeymen didn’t spend all of their time training newbies, they were each assigned duties that normally lasted two or at the most three months before being assigned to the next duty. The wood supply for the Circle was usually gathered well in advance with little work to be done during circle itself except tending fires as needed. That’s what Rafe was doing when Tobal spied him between initiations. “Hey stranger,” he teased. “Who did you kill to get that?” Rafe grinned as he turned in surprise. He postured and showed off his first chevron. “One of the girls challenged me. She thought she could beat me. Bad mistake! She almost did too.” He admitted ruefully but then brightened. His mischievous smile was still the same. “Now I’ve got all the girls fighting over me. I must be the most popular Journeyman ever.” Tobal looked at his friend. Rafe was filling out, getting taller and stronger. “I think you will be winning quite a few fights soon,” he said. “You’re not so little anymore. Pretty soon you might have to start picking on the girls instead of having them pick on you.” “You really think so?” Rafe laughed. “Guess I can give up on the idea of fighting babies then. So what have you been up to? Is Sarah ready to solo yet? I’ve been hearing some good things about how you taught Nick and Fiona.” “Well, I’ve run into a bit of a snag,” he confessed. Sarah isn’t ready to solo yet, and I’m thinking about having Fiona, Nick, Becca, and Sarah all over to my place this month. We can all make our winter gear together. None of us is really that good at it, and maybe helping each other out will work.” “That’s a terrific idea,” Rafe said. “I wish I had thought of it when I was training newbies. I guess we really didn’t do that much training for winter, did we? There was only about one week of snow in your training before it melted away. Is there anything I can help with that you don’t remember?” “I remember how to do most of it,” he replied. “But I’ll need to go back to your base camp for my things, especially since snow travel will be tough without snowshoes. Now’s the time to make them—steaming green wood to bend into shapes, lashing it together for drying, and lacing it later.” Rafe nodded. “Sure, take what you need. I won’t be there much this winter, hanging around the Journeyman area or gathering wood. Being a Journeyman is nothing at all like being an Apprentice.”

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Homo Sapiens: Overboard by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

XIII.

Falk had to wait another half hour. The stupid clock was always fast. 

His head was heavy, the morphine lingered paralyzing in his limbs. On top of that, he had a fever, his heart raced, and now and then he had to lean forward, feeling sharp stabs in his chest. He looked around. 

At the counter, two railway officials were playing cards with the waiter. 

He wanted a beer, but he probably shouldn’t disturb the waiter. Then he looked at the large glass door and read several times: Waiting Room. Yes, he had to wait. 

He looked back at the counter. 

Strange that he hadn’t noticed the fourth man earlier. 

The man had a black mustache and a bloated face. He watched the game for a while, then planted himself in front of the mirror, admiring himself smugly. 

Yes, of course; you’re very handsome—very handsome… 

Did he have a lover too? Surely… he must appeal to women’s tastes. If Mikita… well, yes… 

Pity, pity that he had to disturb the waiter after all… He knocked. “Excuse me, waiter, but I’m thirsty!” 

The waiter took it as a reprimand and apologized profusely. 

No, no, he didn’t mean it like that, Falk treated the waiter with the utmost courtesy. 

Now he had to go. And it was so nice there—in the waiting room. 

When he stepped into the train compartment, he felt an unusual sense of happiness. 

The compartment was empty. 

What luck! He couldn’t sit with anyone now. That would disturb him unbearably. He wouldn’t be able to think a single thought. 

He looked at his watch. Five more minutes. 

He pressed his head against the compartment window. Outside, the light of a gas lamp captivated him. 

The light looked like a pointed triangle with the base upward: it was very flared, so the edges flickered like darting arrows. 

That’s exactly how the tongues of fire must have looked, descending on the apostles’ heads. 

He snapped awake. 

That he saw all this. Holz would’ve made at least a drama out of it. 

Pity he didn’t have a notebook! Pity, pity! He really should work with a notebook to uncover the soul. 

The train started moving. 

What? How? He was supposed to leave her? Her? No, impossible! 

Cold sweat broke out on his forehead, and a horrific fear rose within him. 

From her!? 

Something urged him to open the door and run out to her—fall before her, clutch her knees, and tell her he couldn’t live without her, that she must belong to him—that—that… It choked him. He grabbed his head and groaned loudly. 

He heard the train racing relentlessly, ceaselessly, nothing, nothing could stop it. 

Yes, but! Another train would have to come from the other side, and both would crash, their engines locking together, the cars piling up to the sky… 

The air was so bad in this wretched cage—just like in the café. 

He tore the window open. 

In an instant, the compartment filled with unpleasant, wet cold. He calmed down and closed the window. 

One thing became clear: he couldn’t leave, he mustn’t: his mind would fall apart—yes, what had he said to Isa? His soul would crumble… yes, crumble into tiny pieces, just like Grabbe’s God—I crumbled into pieces, and each piece a God, a redeemer, a new Rabbi Jeshua, sacrificing himself for others… 

I don’t want to sacrifice myself, I want to be happy, he screamed. Suddenly, he caught himself. 

What was wrong with him? Why this whole unconscious frenzy? Was he right? Was love just a disease, a fever to expel rotting matter—a recovery process—nonsense—a—a—Good God! How the train raced. 

He stretched out fully. The compartment began to shake unbearably. Yes, something sank beneath him, he walked as if on a linen sheet. He was bold. He wanted to show the village boys that he, the landlord’s son, was bolder than all of them together. They were cowards. Now he’d show them. And he walked on the lake, frozen over for just a day, walked, the ice cracking all around, he walked on the ice like on a boggy floor, and then suddenly… 

Falk pulled himself up and lay down again. 

And again, he felt the sinking and sinking, instinctively stretching out his hands to hold on. 

No! He couldn’t leave her. She must… He’d force her… He’d force her… She loves him, she’s just cowardly, like all women… She longs for him, he knew it for certain. 

Oh God, God, if only the train would stop. 

And he paced back and forth in the wretched cage, his pulse racing, a horrific unrest unraveling his conscious thought. He kept catching himself with thoughts and feelings crawling up, God knows from where, tormenting him. 

What did Mikita want from her? She was his, wholly his… Did Mikita want to violate her soul? 

Suddenly, he noticed the train slowing; a joyful thrill ran down his spine: Finally! Finally! 

Then he saw they passed a station without stopping, and he realized the train was speeding up again as before. 

Now he could have wept aloud! What would that do? He had to wait, be patient… 

He sank into dull resignation. 

He wasn’t a child, he had to wait, he had to learn to control himself. 

He sat by the window and tried to see something. But the night was so black—so deep, oh so deep, deeper than the day ever thought… And the abysses within him were so deep… 

He closed his eyes. 

Then he suddenly saw a clearing in his father’s forest. 

He saw two elks fighting. He saw the animals striking each other with their massive antlers, retreating to charge with a terrifying leap. Then he saw their antlers lock together, how they tried to break free with wild jerks, spinning in circles… Suddenly: a jolt, he thought he heard the antlers crack: one elk broke free and drove its great antlers into the other’s flank. It gored him. It burrowed the antlers deeper and deeper, boring and boring, blood foaming out, tearing the flesh apart, ravaging the entrails with greedy fury. 

Horrible! Horrible! Falk cried out. 

Beside them stood the female they fought for, grazing. She paid no attention to the wild battle of the rutting males. 

Falk tried to distract his mind, but in his eyes, he saw fiery rings expanding into glowing giant circles, wider and wider—hardly could he grasp their expanse, and in the center, he saw the victor, bleeding, trembling, but proud and mighty. On his antlers, he shook his rival’s entrails. But then he saw the victorious elk begin to spin, faster and faster, circling around itself, faster still… a fiery vortex seized him and dragged him along—like a fallen planet, Falk saw him fall—where to? Where to? 

The vortex—the vortex… yes, God, where had he heard that, about the vortex that sucks in, that pulls down… 

And again, everything went black before his eyes. 

He saw Mikita before him. He rushed at him. He grabbed him and dragged him through the corridor, and then they crashed down. The railing broke. And they, a tangled heap, plummeted with terrible force onto the stone tiles of a black abyss… 

Falk looked around, uncomprehending. He clearly heard someone enter the compartment. 

He suddenly recognized the conductor. A surge of joy filled him. “Where? Where’s the next station?” 

“In two minutes, we’re there.” He came fully to his senses. 

A bustling unrest seized him. He looked at his watch. Only three hours had he traveled, so he’d be back in three hours—and then to Isa—to Isa… 

The train stopped. Falk got off. “When does the train go back?” 

“Tomorrow at 10 a.m.” 

Falk’s knees buckled. He collapsed completely. 

Stern’s Hotel. Hotel de l’Europe, Hotel du Nord! he heard shouted around him. 

He gave his suitcase to someone and let himself be driven. 

When he woke late the next day at noon, he found himself in a hotel room. 

Hmm; quite comfortable for a hotel room. His limbs ached, but he clearly felt he’d overcome an illness. 

Yes, because he was so nervous, and his nervousness was his health. The esteemed doctors would figure that out eventually… 

Then he got out of bed and rang. 

When the waiter came, he asked where he was, ordered coffee… strange: he hadn’t gone mad after all. 

He felt a vast, solemn calm within him. 

So I’ll stay here. Well, it’s quite nice here. 

He had writing paper brought and wrote a letter to his mother, explaining why he couldn’t come, how she should handle the trustees, and that he’d likely spend the whole summer abroad… 

He reread his mother’s letter to see if she needed any further information. His eyes fell involuntarily on the name Marit. 

Yes, and so, in closing, he sent heartfelt greetings to the angel of kindness and charm. 

When he finished the letter, he drank coffee and went back to sleep. 

He fell asleep immediately.

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by Karl Hans Strobl and translated by Joe E Bandel

“Beautiful lady,” says the man with the cap cheerfully, in his best high German, “it’s a great imprudence for Your Grace to wander alone like this. There are so many bad people down here in the Prater—a young, beautiful lady with so much jewelry, that doesn’t bode well. You can be glad you’ve met us, and we will permit ourselves to escort you.”

Since the woman still says nothing, the man takes her hand and pulls her deeper into the bushes, while the old man closes his shaded lantern and follows, watching to ensure she doesn’t suddenly run off.

And nearby, beyond the thicket, the stream roars in the darkness—

At first, the Hofrat had hoped his wife would return home, as she had on that March day, once she awoke from her state, and he had resolved to follow Doctor Eisenstein’s advice to send her to his brother-in-law’s estate near Graz. Country air, the doctor suggested, was what she needed—this noisy Vienna was unsuitable for her, and he hinted it was especially important to shield her from the experiments with which Reichenbach further disrupted her weakened nervous system. He was now quite opposed to these experiments, stating as her family physician he could no longer endorse them.

The Hofrat waited, inwardly indignant but not overly alarmed, until the evening of the next day. Then fear overtook him, and he reported his wife missing to the police.

From Ottane, they learned the Hofrätin had been at the hospital, leading them to conclude she had wandered toward the Alservorstadt and prompting a search of the city’s west side.

When the rumor of the Hofrätin’s disappearance spread through the city, people came forward claiming to have seen her on the street. The statements contradicted each other, offering no clear picture; the poor woman seemed to have wandered aimlessly. It was Reinhold who insisted on searching the Prater. A chestnut vendor at the end of Jägerzeile had given a description that seemed to match Frau Pauline. Had she gone there? A hunch had led him to Jägerzeile, and the vendor’s account deepened his fears. Reinhold took leave from the factory, scoured the entire Prater, and kept returning to the Danube, its yellow, muddy waters swollen with meltwater, its roar seeming to drown out a beloved voice.

On the fifth day, the Hofrätin’s body was pulled from the stream.

The police doctor noted signs of assault, with strangulation as the likely cause of death; the commissioner confirmed the jewelry she was known to have taken was missing.

Yes, yes, it was clearly a robbery-murder, no doubt about it.

The fishermen, with their dripping waders and long poles used to probe the riverbed, stood around the body. Year in, year out, they A multitude of bodies from the Danube was nothing new to them; they were hardened to death. But a Hofrätin had never been among them, let alone a murdered one! Yes, there she lay, looking no different from the other waterlogged corpses that had spent five days in the Danube.

Reinhold walked away; what came next was a matter for the police—he had no further business here. He didn’t want the image he carried within him to be destroyed as well. That image lived in him, and he wanted to keep it alive.

He went to Ottane at the hospital, and Ottane knew at a glance at his face that something terrible had happened. Still, she asked, “What has happened?”

“The Hofrätin has been murdered and thrown into the Danube.”

“So that’s what had to happen!” Ottane had sensed how things stood with her brother; now it became certainty as she saw his haggard features and noticed the trembling of his hands. She wanted to comfort him, taking those trembling hands gently and tenderly between her own.

But Reinhold only shook his head, withdrew from her, and left.

The Freiherr was at home. Reinhold entered the study without knocking, unaware that he still had his hat on.

Reichenbach looked up from his work on the book about the sensitive human with disapproval. The written pages had accumulated into a considerable stack; the desk was covered with countless notes, excerpts from the diary, hasty remarks, and nearly every one bore the Hofrätin’s name.

“The Hofrätin has been murdered and thrown into the Danube,” Reinhold repeated.

“Murdered? That’s horrific!” Reichenbach exclaimed.

“And you are her murderer,” said Reinhold in the same calm, toneless voice.

“What are you saying?”

“You are to blame for her death. You’ve only ever thought of your Od. You shouldn’t have misused her for your experiments; she perished because of it. Her delicate health couldn’t withstand it; her condition worsened since you tormented her with these things.”

Reichenbach stood up and stepped threateningly toward Reinhold: “Have you gone mad? Where do you get these insane accusations? I’ll have you locked up.”

But threats and intimidation no longer worked on Reinhold. He didn’t lower his gaze or crumple to stand at attention afterward; he looked his father in the eyes and said, “You won’t do that. I’m not a schoolboy anymore, and I want nothing more to do with you. Our paths are parted from today onward.”

“Go to the devil for all I care!” shouted Reichenbach, throwing himself into the armchair at the desk, scattering the notes in a whirl. He paid no further attention to Reinhold—let him do as he pleased; he was done with him.

Toward evening, Severin entered the study and announced that the meal was served; after some hesitation, he added that the young master had left and ordered his belongings prepared in his room to be sent to the factory.

Reichenbach sat at the desk, head in his hands, not looking up or turning around. “Very well!” he said wearily.

It seemed, however, as if Reinhold had at least voiced part of public opinion. Initially, people had watched the Freiherr’s endeavors with smiling disbelief; then his Od became a veritable fad. Now, it was almost falling into disrepute. While some continued to smile or resumed doing so, voices emerged claiming that the case of Frau Hofrätin Reißnagel showed the matter wasn’t so harmless or safe, and that the police should actually intervene. Hofrat Reißnagel himself wasn’t among those voicing such opinions; he displayed a dignified and appropriate mourning expression, as befitted a man so heavily struck by misfortune, and he continued to associate with the Freiherr. After all, he was in a business partnership with Reichenbach—one hopefully profitable—and he didn’t hold the rumors blaming Od against the Freiherr. However, while the Hofrat remained silent, the deceased’s family physician, Doctor Eisenstein, openly admitted that Reichenbach’s experiments had adversely affected the poor woman’s soul, hastening her tragic end—and as the family doctor, who else would know better?

Among Reichenbach’s neighbors on Kobenzl—the small farmers and vintners—a wariness toward the Freiherr spread. They had never understood what he was trying to do; he locked people in a pitch-black chamber, engaged in the oddest practices with magnets and hand-laying. No one knew what good it served. He had always seemed strange to them; now he became eerie. They called him the Wizard of Kobenzl, avoided passing his castle at dusk or night, and crossed themselves when they saw light in his study.

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OD by Karl Hans Strobl and translated by Joe E Bandel

Chapter 16

Reichenbach has paid little attention to his large ironworks in Ternitz, just as little as to the one in Eaja, and since the estate on Reisenberg is in poor shape and the other holdings in Galicia and Moravia—where the stewards have also lined their own pockets—are no better, the Freiherr is very grateful to Hofrat Reißnagel for a hint concerning the ironworks.

Hofrat Reißnagel works in the state property administration, mockingly called the State Domain Squandering Office by malicious tongues. There are very sharp minds in this office—men who understand business and get wind of many things before others, making them able to offer valuable tips.

“The railway system is now to be expanded with all urgency in Austria,” hints the Hofrat. “Numerous new lines are planned. Nothing is more timely today than producing railway tracks—a business, dear Baron, that will yield a secure profit, an extraordinary profit. Nothing is better today than producing railway tracks.”

It’s a tip that could mean a fortune, one that could restore a faltering fortune.

The Hofrat has taken a few days’ leave and traveled with the Freiherr to Ternitz to inspect the ironworks, and Reichenbach has taken up the matter with fiery zeal and his old vigor, completely restructuring the operation and converting it entirely to railway track production.

Now they are heading home, and Reichenbach has been very silent for the last stretch of the journey. He makes mental calculations about the cost of the conversion. It will require an enormous sum of money, and the estates are in the red, the bank accounts exhausted—they will need to borrow. Mortgages will have to be placed on the estates, but it’s such a sure venture that everything must be done to get it going.

The carriage stops before the Hofrat’s house on Kohlmarkt to drop him off. “Come up to my place,” says Reißnagel. “Let’s go over the matter again.”

Reißnagel wants to discuss the matter again, particularly to find out how much the tip he gave Reichenbach is actually worth to him—expressed as a percentage of the net profit.

On the stairs, they encounter Reinhold, who greets the Hofrat politely but only nods casually to his father. Reinhold has taken a position as a chemist in a factory; he now lives year-round in Bäckergasse. He and his father rarely see each other, meeting most often at Hofrat Reißnagel’s, where they pass each other with stiff legs. The father finds Reinhold’s visits to Frau Hofrätin too frequent—much too frequent—and Reinhold secretly accuses his father of harming Frau Pauline’s fragile health and mental state with his Od experiments.

Even today, the Hofrätin sits beside him distracted and absent-minded, and Reinhold has failed to draw her out of the gloom of her mood.

She remains distracted and absent-minded during Reichenbach’s greeting, giving incoherent answers to his questions. In the midst of reorganizing his ironworks, some new experimental setups have occurred to Reichenbach, and now, sitting across from the Hofrätin, they suddenly seem so important that he wants to start immediately.

But Frau Pauline is not in the mood to engage with this.

“She has a fiery ball in her head,” she complains of herself in the third person, “she has waterfalls in her ears.”

After watching for a while, the Hofrat remarks that the Freiherr will likely struggle in vain today and invites him over to discuss the matter.

The Hofrätin is left alone; she sits idly in the growing darkness, staring at a distant point. The fiery ball spins faster and faster, and the waterfalls roar. Then a moan rises from her chest; her limbs stretch and stiffen, the sparking in her brain fades, the water’s rush ceases, and nothingness takes over—the great darkness.

The woman stands up; her movements are strangely angular. She walks through the dark room without bumping into anything, opens a wardrobe, and takes out a dress. It’s a black mourning gown from her father’s death, which she puts on. From a jewelry box, she retrieves a pearl necklace, a gold brooch, a cross on a chain, and a bracelet. She adorns herself as if for a celebration, though she wears a mourning dress, and leaves the house silently, unnoticed and unstopped by anyone.

She walks through the streets, somewhere, passing many people, one or two of whom glance at her curiously because something about her gait and posture strikes them, though they can’t quite pinpoint what it is. The Herrengasse, the Freyung, the Schottentor—ever onward—until she reaches a large building with a wide, open, illuminated gate, into which she enters.

The hospital porter sees a slender woman in mourning clothes; it’s evening now, not visiting hours, and he should technically ask her destination, but he refrains. The woman is in mourning attire, without a coat—odd enough for a chilly early spring evening. So many people in mourning pass through this gate; the porter has a kind heart and can’t bring himself to stop her.

A dark courtyard, then another, a staircase, bare, whitewashed corridors with many doors—and then one opens, and Ottane, propelled by the momentum of her professional zeal, nearly collides with the Hofrätin.

“What’s wrong with you, gracious lady?” asks Ottane.

The Hofrätin appears ill; she has an immobile, almost fixed stare in her eyes that seems to see nothing.

“Are you looking for our Doctor Semmelweis?” Ottane asks again. It could be that Frau Hofrätin has something to ask Doctor Semmelweis; many women arrive here so distraught, with such a glassy gaze, that The birth of a new person sometimes has a strange effect, heralding doom like an omen.

“Come to my room,” says Ottane. “I’ll notify Doctor Semmelweis right away.”

It’s a simple room into which Ottane leads the Hofrätin—a metal bed, a washstand, a wardrobe, a chair, a picture of the young emperor, and a crucifix on the wall, nothing more.

Ottane seats the Hofrätin on the chair and hurries off to fetch Semmelweis.

But when she returns with Semmelweis after barely a quarter of an hour, the chair is empty, the room is empty—the Hofrätin is gone. She’s already wandering back into the descending night, heading further into the suburbs. Trees trap clumps of darkness in their bare branches, forming avenues, then the woman leaves the wide paths, wandering along narrow trails through thickets.

A stream rushes nearby.

The Prater is very lonely at this hour and in this remote area.

But then, suddenly, two shadows appear—one large and stocky, the other small and hunched—emerging from the bushes to block her path. In better light, one might have seen that the large, broad shadow belongs to a man with a cap and a heavily embroidered jacket resembling a fantastical map, and that the other shadow is a stooped old man with a floppy hat, his coat so long it flaps around him, forcing him to roll up the sleeves. But even the brightest light wouldn’t have helped the woman; she sees nothing, driven forward by some force, and now she can’t proceed because the man with the cap has grabbed her elbow and holds her fast.

“Beautiful lady,” says the man in forced high German, “why so alone?”

He gets no response. “Don’t be afraid,” he continues, “we won’t harm you. We’re from the police.” Then both men laugh at the well-executed joke.

But when the woman still gives no answer and doesn’t move, the man with the cap grows irritated. Does she think she can plant herself like some Urschel? He, Ferdl Latschacher? “Come on, shine some light here,” he orders, and the hunched old man pulls something from his oversized coat, flipping open a small lantern. Suddenly, there’s light, and the old man raises the shaded lantern, illuminating the woman’s face.

“Well,” he crows gleefully, “this is an old acquaintance. It’s the Princess Metternich from Mariahilferlinie.”

Now the man with the cap recognizes her too—yes, it’s the woman from Mariahilferlinie who slipped through their fingers back then. But today is different; she won’t escape them again. She’s adorned with a lot of jewelry again, and if not for the black dress, one might think she’s heading to a court ball, perhaps one down at Praterspitz—haha! And besides, she’s a still-young, pretty woman; she seems only mute, since she says nothing— all the better, all the better.

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Homo Sapiens by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel

“You, what’s wrong with you?” he asked hoarsely. 

“Nothing, nothing!” She tried to smile, but it failed. “What… what… what’s wrong with you?” He began to understand. 

At that moment, the bell rang sharply. 

He flinched, unable to comprehend what the sound was. “You, it’s ringing. Don’t open it, don’t open it,” she pleaded fearfully. But he ran out. 

She groaned. Now he was coming, she knew it. It was him. Now… oh God, it was all the same. 

“Oh, this is wonderful, simply splendid, we were just about to write to you.” Mikita could hardly contain himself. “Now, Isa, Falk is finally here.” He tried desperately to control himself. 

“I’m glad; believe me, I’m glad. Well, you know, Erik… this is nice… 

We’ll have a cozy evening… What do you want? Wine, schnapps, beer… Hey? You can have anything…”

“Do you want to see my paintings?… Good God—the stupid paintings—what’s there to see? Go out into life—yes—go out on the street, those are paintings! … What’s the point of this stupid daubing… Oh God, what’s it all for? … Didn’t you say yesterday that you can’t attract a woman with it?… Yes, yes, go out on the street, no! go to a night café, there are paintings! Splendid, you know… a painting like the one I saw yesterday, no one could paint that… Do you know what I saw?… I was in a restaurant, yes, a restaurant, not a café, by the way… and, yes, there I sat. Across from me, a man with two women. He was courting one of them and doing telegraphic exercises with his feet under the table. He was eating sausages, you know, Jauer sausages, I think… Then suddenly: it was a moment…” 

Mikita laughed hoarsely, barely intelligible. “A moment! You rarely see something like that. 

Listen: one of the girls…” Mikita kept interrupting himself with nervous, unpleasant laughter… “grabs the plate of sausages and throws it in the guy’s face… That was a sight, worth a hundred of my paintings… The sauce dripped down… you know, that chocolate-brown slop they pour over every dish here in Berlin… The sausages flew everywhere… What a sight that guy was!…” Mikita doubled over with laughter… “That was a painting!” 

Falk couldn’t understand what was wrong with Mikita. He looked at Isa, but she was lying on the chaise lounge, staring at the ceiling. 

Probably another intense jealousy scene. 

“Do you know what the guy did?” Mikita nervously twisted the buttons on Falk’s coat. “Nothing! Absolutely nothing! He calmly wiped the sauce off his face… Yes, that’s what he did… But the woman he’d been playing footsie with laughed herself half to death… Her erotic feelings were done for… Do you know why? – Do you know?” Mikita let out a short scream. 

“Because he became comical, comical! And when you become comical to a woman, it’s over…” 

Falk felt uneasy. He thought of his farewell yesterday. 

“Do you understand what it means to become comical to a woman?… But, but…” Mikita stammered… “you don’t become that for everyone… There are some for whom you don’t, women who love, who love!…” He calmed down… “You see, those women forget themselves and everything around them; they don’t see that you’re comical—they don’t think, they don’t observe…” He flared up again… 

“Hey, Isa? Am I not right? You’re a woman!” 

Isa tried to salvage the situation; it was outrageously awkward. He was completely crazy… She laughed. 

“Yes, you’re probably right… the sausage story is quite amusing. What happened next?” 

Mikita stared at her piercingly. 

“Yes, next—right. So the comical man was completely calm, even though everyone was collapsing on the tables with laughter… His fine high collar had turned into a dishrag, and his stiff dress shirt could’ve been wrapped around a matchstick… 

The culprit, you know—the woman for whom you can never become comical—was pale, and I noticed she was trembling. She looked just like a dog. That’s how Goya saw people—yes, the magnificent Goya, the only psychologist in the world. He saw only the animal in people, and animals they all are: dogs and donkeys… 

But that girl had temperament, she had sexual verve, she loved him, yes, she loved him…” 

“What? That doesn’t interest you? That doesn’t? Doesn’t a jealous feeling that turns you into a criminal interest you? One throws Jauer sausages at his head, another becomes a vitrioleuse. But it’s the same feeling! It’s strong, it’s powerful, it’s life and love! Huh?… For one, it comes out this way, for another, differently… My mother had a maid who read novels day and night… Don’t you think a colossal Bertha von Suttner was lost in that girl? Right? Right?” 

Falk grew restless; what was wrong with him? 

“You see, man, why bother looking at paintings?…” 

“Yes, right, the punchline… The guy left the restaurant with the women, calm and dignified. But suddenly on the street… you should’ve seen it… that’s the stuff of sensations… with a jolt, the girl flew into the gutter from a hefty slap… But she got up, went to him, and begged for forgiveness… He pushed her away, but she ran after him, wailing and pleading.” 

Mikita grew more and more agitated. 

“Do you know what I did? 

I went up to him, took my hat off to the ground, and said: Allow me, sir, to express my highest admiration.” 

Yes, you know—Mikita was disturbingly excited… 

“But what’s wrong with you, for God’s sake, you’re sick… what’s the matter?” Mikita interrupted Falk sharply. 

“Me? Sick?… Are you crazy? But you see, that man did it right! Didn’t he? You have to subdue the woman, with your fist, with the whip… Force, you have to force love…” 

He stammered and suddenly fell silent. An awkward silence followed. 

Falk grew restless. His eyes darted back and forth between Mikita and Isa. But deep down, he had to admit the scene pleased him. Shameful! 

Isa suddenly sat up and said slowly: 

“You could’ve quoted Nietzsche perfectly here: ‘Don’t forget the whip when you go to a woman!’ Otherwise, what you said sounds almost like plagiarism.” 

There was something deeply dismissive in her voice. 

Falk looked at her, astonished. Was it a break?—with Mikita?… This hatred… 

Mikita snapped out of it and laughed suddenly. 

“Damn, Nietzsche said that well, devilishly well… But what’s with you two?… You’re getting downright solemn… I’m completely crazy too.” 

He became very friendly. 

“Don’t hold it against me that I’m so worked up, but I really think I’m delirious—I was drinking with that guy all night… It doesn’t do me good… My uncle died of the finest delirium specimen that can grow in a human brain. His delirium was lush like a palm tree, like a great palm tree, under which you can’t walk unpunished, as our intellectual heroes like to sing.” 

He wandered around, fiddling with the paintings. 

“Good God, what are paintings? A man who has enough of himself and the whole world should be content with that and not daub… 

So you want to see paintings… well, you’ll have to come back tomorrow when there’s light… Yes, I need light, millions of square miles of light in each eye, to see what no one sees. Yes, no one… what I haven’t seen… what I still have to see, yes, must!…” 

Falk had never seen Mikita like this. This wasn’t normal… “But what’s wrong with you? Why are you playing this comedy with me?” 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? I’m happy! Happier than ever!” “Then you don’t need to scream!” 

“Yes, damn it, I have to scream, because sometimes you get a funny look around your mouth, as if you don’t believe me… What, Isa? Aren’t we happy?!” 

But Isa had had enough. Now he’s prostituting their entire relationship… No, it was too much… 

She stood up, got dressed, and without a word, left the studio. 

Mikita watched her, uncomprehending. 

He was shattered. Then he turned to Falk. 

“You go too! Go, go! I’m too worked up, I need to be alone… Go, go!” he screamed at him. 

Falk shrugged and left. Downstairs, he caught up with Isa. 

When Mikita was alone, he bolted the door, stood in the middle of the studio, and suddenly ran his head into the wall. 

The pain sobered him. 

So I’m really going mad. 

He staggered to the sofa. His head ached. Suddenly, everything went black before his eyes, a dizziness seized him. 

It was horrific! He had violated the defenseless woman, taken her against her will. She gave herself because she had to, out of duty, out of… out of… 

And he screamed with all his strength: “Pig, you!” 

His unrest grew beyond him. He felt every fiber in him trembling, a growing rage built up inside; he felt as if he were falling apart, as if everything in him was dislocated, and a terrible fear gripped him. 

Things are bad with you, things are bad with you, he repeated incessantly. 

He clutched his chest with both hands. 

A defenseless woman violated, one who felt only disgust for him! Why did she give in? Because he asked her? Because—because… Good God! She gave in out of kindness. 

And a thought shot through his brain: Now she’s giving herself to Falk because he’ll ask her, because she wants to see him satisfied, because—because… 

He whinnied with laughter, writhed on the chaise lounge, and then suddenly broke into convulsive weeping. 

He heard himself crying. 

And again, the unrest surged into his brain, he gathered himself, he had to bring her back so Falk wouldn’t take her. 

Mechanically, he grabbed his cap, tore open the door, rushed down the stairs, ran through the streets to her house, and then inside: racing, trembling… 

“Is Fräulein Isa at home?” “No!” 

He stood outside the house. Everything collapsed within him. He wanted to go, but his feet wouldn’t carry him. 

He surely couldn’t take a single step. What now, what now? he repeated mechanically. He stood there, unable to think of anything. 

Then he read across the street: Restaurant-Café… 

Aha! Café… Yes, into the café—then sit, right?… Sit on the sofa, drink coffee… read newspapers…

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