Anarchistbanjo's World

Chapter 19 Spirit Travel

By the middle of December Tobal felt he had learned twice as much from Crow as he had learned from Rafe and was certain the boy could have soloed any time he wanted to.

He had also been practicing the drills and exercises Crow had instructed him in and was getting steady results. These exercises always stirred up deeply buried and repressed emotions from his past and troubled his dreams with threatening ghostly images. His dreams were vivid and violent. That night, Crow suggested a ritual to face those shadows, preparing Tobal for what was to come. As he persisted with the exercises and meditations his dreaming self became more powerful and he was able to change the outcome of his dreams.

“The shaman must be able to travel in all nine worlds,” Crow told Tobal one evening in the middle of December. Tobal frowned, trying to picture Hel’s dark depths. “But most important is Hel, the underworld, that contains the land of the dead and creatures of the earth. Then there is Alfheim, the spirit world, that is full of wondrous creatures of light and there is Midgard, the real world. The others are also important but these are the most important. The shaman must be able to travel in any of these worlds because he never knows where a missing soul part has been taken. The hardest and most difficult soul retrievals are when the missing pieces are taken to Hel, the land of the dead. Even the most experienced shaman fears this place and will only go there with a protector. The Lord and Lady are my protectors,” he said proudly. “They brought the spirits of my parents out from the land of the dead and allowed them to speak with me.”

“There is something missing in your soul Tobal,” he told him. “That is why you need a soul retrieval. A part of your soul is missing and needs to be brought back before you can become whole and happy.” Crow said, “You were right about no evil within the circle. The Lord and Lady protect it at all times. But they have told me they are growing weaker and not able to protect clansmen as they once were. There is trouble coming soon and I will need to do another soul retrieval besides yours. They said it is very important that I be prepared.”

They did the soul retrieval for Tobal one night earlier that week. Crow made him lie down on the mat and then started drumming in the small teepee. That was all Tobal remembered because he fell asleep. When he awoke Crow was grinning at him and shaking him gently. He was holding a hollow bone in his hand.

“Tobal, wake up,” Crow was shaking him. “I have the missing part of your soul right here and am ready to give it back to you.” He continued, “You left it with someone and they don’t want it anymore. But you do need to give this person a gift in return. It is very important. Do you understand?”

Tobal nodded groggily as he was not yet awake. Then Crow put the hollow bone to his mouth and blew into Tobal’s face and on his chest. A small dust like powder came out of the bone and covered him. He felt a wave of emotion and energy enter into his lungs and heart as tears of joy formed in his eyes. He didn’t know what had happened but something dead inside his heart was rekindled in a blaze of light and happiness. He wondered at the change in himself over the next couple days. He also wondered who and what Crow really meant.

Tobal noticed the medics flying around much more during the winter months as they kept closer tabs on everyone to see they were doing all right. He’d seen air sleds hovering more often, their hum a constant reminder. When Tobal announced at circle that Crow was ready to solo many elders were concerned about his size and age. They almost didn’t allow it. It took the testimony of several medics to confirm the activities of Tobal and Crow during the past two months before the elders agreed. Tobal was shocked at the extent his activities had been monitored. He had suspected some monitoring but never suspected the true extent the medics monitored things. He was gladder than ever that he had not tried going back to the lake.

Anne, Dierdre and Seth were proclaimed ready to solo. The elders were giving the same exhaustive grilling to each of them they had given Crow. In this bitter weather there were no second chances and accidents did happen. There had been one death this past month. A Journeyman had gotten caught in a snow slide and the medics had not been able to rescue him in time. Any type of solo activity was kept to an absolute minimum if possible. The medics especially kept a close eye on the newbies that were soloing during the winter months and encouraged everyone else to partner up and use the buddy system.

The Circle of Elders consisted of Masters and was voluntary. They determined if newbies were ready to solo and mediated any disputes among clansmen. They also awarded chevrons to both Apprentices and to Journeymen.

Ellen had always served on it since Tobal had been there. It had been her support that decided the other elders in favor of letting Crow solo. Of course she knew Crow was Howling Wolf’s grandson from the village but she never mentioned it. Tobal made a special note that he needed to talk with Ellen later that night. He wanted to know if she had found out anything about the rogue attacks.

He saw Sarah bundled in her furs and walked over giving her a big hug and a kiss.

“How are things going?”

“I didn’t realize how cold it gets out here.” She grinned. “I don’t think I’ve really been warm since I left home. We spend a lot of time getting wood for the fire.”

“How is Ben doing?” He laughed. “He’s getting his initiation tonight right?”

“Oh, he’s really doing well,” she grinned excitedly. “He will be initiated tonight and train with me for another month. If he can solo in this weather, he can survive in anything. I think he will be ready to solo next month if he wants to.” Her face got serious. “I wouldn’t force him to solo in this weather if he didn’t want to. I wouldn’t force anyone to solo in weather like this. You have to be part crazy to enjoy being out in weather like this living off the land.”

“It gets easier the longer you are out here,” he comforted her. “Either that or we just get crazier the longer we are out here.” He chuckled, “Perhaps there is some of both.”

Tobal was really proud of how well Sarah had been doing with Ben. She had come a long way from the girl in the antique shop he had once known. She had strength and a confidence that made her very attractive. This had been good for her.

There was a howling wind with blowing snow and no one seemed in any hurry to get into his or her robes. Everyone kept wearing their furs and stayed huddled together close to the fires. Warm spiced drinks were even more popular than the beer was. There was a festive feeling in the air and people were in high spirits.

This was the Yule celebration and the winter solstice celebration of new light coming into the earth and into the spirit. It marked the time when the days started getting longer and carried the promise of spring. It was half way through the winter season and by now a person knew if they were prepared for the winter or not. It was also a time of giving and sharing with others. Cabin fever often made the long winter months difficult and this halfway spot gave everyone relief. As many clansmen as possible tried making it into circle for the Yule celebration and the relief of having other people to talk to.

Zee, Kevin and Wayne’s newbies had each completed their solo and were being congratulated. That made two chevrons for Zee, Kevin and Wayne. He made a point to go over and congratulate them too. Soloing in the middle of the winter was not easy. Many of the Apprentices still had some trouble just surviving and staying warm. This was Tobal’s first winter and he wasn’t finding it that easy himself. Or rather it wasn’t a simple walk in the park like summer had been.

In the winter you really had to work for food and firewood and you had to deal with the long nights cooped up in the teepee, especially if you were by yourself. The loneliness was very hard to deal with.

Wayne had been Char’s teacher. Char came to Yule with her partner. He spent a little time chatting with them but Char was obviously not in a good mood and he soon gave it up and moved on.

The Yule celebration was to be an entire week of feasting and celebration. Since travel was so difficult most clan members elected to stay a few extra days and party. It had become the tradition. Hunters went out and brought enough food to keep the camp in meat. People brought dried herbs and vegetables they had saved for the communal stew pot.

Tobal had brought more honey as a special treat. Some of the medics had somehow managed to find flour and baking supplies. Bread was a welcome change in a diet that had so much meat during the wintertime. They also brought frozen vegetables from somewhere that reminded everyone of the coming spring and lush vegetation.

The newbies that were going to solo were allowed to stay for the first and second day of events but then needed to leave. The first day of the celebration was like a normal Circle day with the initiations and drum circle in the evenings. The second day continued with a talent show in the afternoon and a special Yule Ritual and meditation in the evening. That was when Tobal planned on giving his gifts to his friends before Crow left on his solo. They didn’t have their normal group meditation with Ellen. It was just too chaotic.

The things he and Crow had learned about his parents kept going through his mind circling restlessly. How was it possible they were really alive after all these years? Could he train himself enough so they would be able to talk with him like they did to Crow? He was already getting pretty good at talking with them, at least when he projected to the cave with Crow. But other times it seemed like there was a barrier that prevented the contact.

What about his uncle? Why had his uncle not told him these things? Why had his uncle lied? Was it because of the classified nature of the project or didn’t he really know. It was pretty obvious his uncle didn’t believe anyone was still alive that worked with his parents or he would have agreed to let him go to Old Seattle in the first place.

What did they mean when his parents told Crow they were getting weaker? Were they dying? Is that why the rogue attacks seemed to be increasing? They needed to find the secret meeting place his parents used before they died?

Tobal hoped not. His uncle had said he had closed the program down. Why were his parents still captive?

Questions that just led to more questions and no real answers. They made his head spin. As the night deepened, he first turned to look for Rafe at the beer barrel and brewery.

“You’ve got five chevrons now!” He slapped Dirk on the back and raised a foaming mug in salute. “Soon you are going to make medic and be riding one of those drafty air sleds all over the mountains saving our asses.”

“Next month,” Dirk grinned. “I’ve got it planned. Going to challenge someone I know I can beat. It’s a sure thing.”

“Are you really that sure of beating this person?”

Dirk grinned, “I hope so. I can use a change of life style. Kind of boring making beer all month except when I’m getting beat up. Hey, try some of this hot stuff Rafe and I cooked up. It’s like a spiced grog.” He handed Tobal a wooden bowl full of a hot liquid with floating things in it.

Tobal suspiciously sipped it, “That’s really good! I think I’ll have more when I finish this beer. It’s warm too! This is just what I need right now. Where’s Rafe hanging out? I need to ask him something.”

“He’s in the brew house getting another batch of grog ready.”

“Thanks, I’ll go check on him.”

“There you are!” He called as he stepped inside the warm log building that served as a brewery. Rafe looked like a mad scientist hunched over a steaming bucket of grog he was stirring vigorously. He smiled as he looked up.

“Tobal! What brings you here? Are we out of grog? Did Dirk send you?”

“Not really,” he said. “I’m just trying to get together a meeting between you, Ellen, Crow and myself tonight after circle. I think it’s important and want to get it over with before Crow leaves on his solo. That makes tonight the best time.”

“I can see that,” Rafe nodded. “Sure, I’ll be there. Where are we meeting anyway? It’s cold out there.”

“You getting soft in your old age?” Tobal joked. “You just keep lots of that grog on hand. I was thinking of meeting out by the central fire like we did last time.”

Rafe sighed, “Ok, right after circle then. Did you see Dirk made his fifth chevron?”

“Already congratulated him, how about you?”

“Maybe next time,” Rafe said. “The fights are getting more even. I can’t wait till you get to be a Journeyman and get your butt whipped all the time.” He chuckled.

“Well I’ve got to leave and get hold of Ellen.” He turned toward the door.

“Sure, changing the subject,” Rafe laughed as Tobal went out.

It was mid afternoon and he arranged with both Crow and Ellen to meet immediately after circle by the central fire. Ellen had changed into her robe and was getting ready for circle. She was one of the few non-ritual team members that was going to be wearing a robe. It was so cold most of the others including Tobal were wearing their furs to circle. He asked her about it.

“Oh, I’ll be alright,” she laughed. “I’ll be next to the fire and can keep warm there.”

“Well, I’ll have some extra blankets or furs by me if you get cold,” he told her.

“Thanks Tobal, but I won’t need them really. Especially tonight since I’m so keyed up.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m training to be High Priestess of the Journeyman Circle. It is quite different than this one. Misty will keep doing this one for awhile yet.”

“That’s great,” he grinned. “You will be High Priestess when I become Journeyman. You will probably get to initiate me again.”

She smiled, “we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ve got to get to the circle now though. See you later, ok?”

With that she gave Tobal a hug and he went looking for the girls. More and more he looked forward to the circle time he shared with Fiona and Becca and sometimes Nikki. He had come to think of it as something they did together as friends.

He had noticed the last few months that Fiona was spending a lot of time with Becca. Part of him was sad and upset but part of him was honest enough to realize Becca was a lot different than he had imagined her to be. He had been thinking about her quite a bit these last few days and didn’t really know why. She wasn’t at all what he had expected. She hadn’t shown the vicious, aggressive behavior she had during the disastrous night of the Halloween dance.

Instead, she seemed more aloof, unemotional and withdrawn as if she was hiding some deep secret or misery and keeping it to herself. It was only with Fiona that she seemed to cheer up and laugh about things. Several times he suspected they might be laughing about him but pushed that thought away. He was hoping to get a little time alone with Fiona. But it seemed that was not to be and with good humor he filled his tankard and moved over to sit beside the two girls.

“There any room for me?” He teased.

Fiona and Becca both jumped with delight and took turns giving him a hug and a kiss. Fiona’s hug was delicious and his arms folded around her as their lips met in a kiss that was longer and more passionate than he had been expecting. He took his time thoroughly enjoying it and almost regretfully stepped back.

“My turn,” Becca quipped and stepped up to him with a glint in her green eyes he didn’t recognize. She pulled the hood off and shook her red hair so that it cascaded freely around the fur of her jacket. Then she reached up and pulled his own hood back and ran her fingers through the hair at his temples till her fingers found the back of his neck and pulled his lips down to hers.

It seemed as if the universe had stopped and there was only this one moment frozen in eternity as he breathed her essence into his lungs and heart and breathed his back into her. Almost reflexively his arms tightened around her and crushed her against his body. Their lips fed on each other with a passion that consumed them in a whirlwind of feelings he had never felt before.

He moved first lifting his head up and shifting his grip as he stepped back. Her eyes met his in a soundless plea that he couldn’t answer. He saw the hurt come into her eyes as he moved back and looked away.

“Wow,” he said. “ I need to sit down after all that and I’d better sit between you two so you don’t fight over me.”

Instantly he knew that he had done and said the wrong thing. Both girls instantly went from being glad to see him to cold as death itself. He pulled the hood back up and so did Becca. They sat in frozen silence.

He tried joking and asking about their month but nothing worked. He was actually relieved when Nikki came over to join them. If Nikki noticed that anything was wrong she didn’t mention it and soon all three girls were laughing and telling stories between initiations.

They were however, very curious and envious of his new decorative clothing. He told them Crow had taught him. He opened his fur coat and showed the beautiful beadwork and porcupine needles stitched carefully and decoratively on the comfortable buckskin clothing he was wearing.

“How does Crow know these things?” Becca asked curiously. “I thought you were supposed to be training him. Not him training you?”

The girls laughed and Tobal blushed. “I just got lucky,” he said. “Crow grew up in a village about two hundred miles west of here.” He instantly wished he hadn’t said anything about the village.

“You mean the rogue village?” Nikki asked.

“You really need to talk with Crow about that,” he said. “I’d really like to stay and chat,” he said. “But I’ve got to talk with Rafe and Ellen right now.”

“You are always talking with Rafe or Ellen.” Nikki pouted. “You spend more time talking with them then you do with us. What’s that about anyway? Are you too good for us?”

That last comment had a little bite to it and Fiona and Becca looked at each other. Tobal didn’t like to leave things that way. It just didn’t seem right. He sighed.

“It’s about increased rogue activity,” he said. “I’ll tell you about it later if you are really interested.”

“You promise?” Fiona asked suddenly suspicious. “There’s something going on that you are not telling us. You can’t lie worth a damn Tobal. No one is in danger are they?”

“We don’t really know.” He pleaded. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk later ok?”

Then he stood up and left before they stopped him or asked if they could come with. He went around to the other side of the fire circle and waited, painfully aware that Nikki, Fiona, and Becca were not leaving the fire circle either. They were going to watch the meeting from across the fire.

Rafe was the first to join and then Crow. Ellen came last. She had changed out of her robe into furs. She smiled at Tobal.

“I almost took you up on that offer.” She said shivering. “I was freezing on one side and roasting on the other side all night. You were right. I should have worn my furs. I didn’t really need the robe.”

She looked at the others, “Are we ready?”

Tobal cleared his throat hesitantly. “We might have a problem.”

All three turned to look at him expectantly.

“Becca, Fiona and Nikki are on to us. They know something is up and want to know about it. They are sitting across the fire from us now.”

Crow, Ellen and Rafe turned and looked across the fire and the three girls smiled and waved at them.

Ellen sighed, “I still don’t think we should tell any more people than we need to about this. This could be very dangerous and I don’t even want you talking to any of the other medics about it. Please?”

Reluctantly they all agreed and turned back toward the issue at hand with Ellen taking the leadership role.

“There are still many tracks around the lake area.” She told them. “I continue to patrol it every other day but never see anyone. I am convinced they know when I am coming because of my med-alert bracelet. They know I am coming and hide.”

“It gets worse,” she said. “There is a growing rumor the rogues are from the primitive village west of here. There is another rumor that the city is planning an attack on the village to make the area safe for all those that are claiming sanctuary.”

“They are planning to attack my village!” Crow demanded. “Why? We have no technology to track people like you say the rogues do. We do not even have med-alert bracelets. I need to leave immediately and warn my grandfather.” He got up to leave but Tobal stopped him.

“You said your grandfather, Howling Wolf has trained you in the ways of the shaman?”

Crow nodded in the affirmative, his dark eyes flashing. “Yes, that is true.”

“Well,” Tobal suggested. “Can you get a spirit message to your grandfather instead so you don’t have to travel there physically?”

Crow pondered the question and Tobal could see he was visibly relaxing. “Yes, I can send a message to him that way. I will do it tonight right after this meeting.”

“Good,” he said. “That means you can use next month to complete your solo. It would be a shame to not finish your solo since you have worked so hard at it.”

“I will ask Grandfather,” Crow said stiffly. “I will do as he suggests. My own parents were massacred and buried in a mass grave. I don’t want my grandfather or my village to suffer the same fate.”

The mention of Howling Wolf jarred something loose inside Tobal’s mind and he tried fitting things together. Howling Wolf just knew too much and was in the center of too many things. He had trained his parents in bi-location and hand-fasted them together. He had built the cairn over the mass grave by the waterfall. He was somehow in contact with Sarah’s father. Perhaps it was Howling Wolf the rogues were interested in and not the village itself.

“Maybe they are interested in Howling Wolf and not the village?”

“That would mean my sister and I would be in even greater danger,” Crow told him.

Rafe said, “We need to know more about the village and the city of Heliopolis. We also need to know more about the sanctuary program.” He looked at Ellen. “Is there anyway you can research some local history on the computer and find out what the official story line is on all this stuff? I’m getting so many versions that my head is going to split.”

Ellen nodded, “That’s a good idea. I’ll see what I can dig up for our next meeting. Now”, she turned to Crow, “Can you fill me in again on what you’ve told Tobal.”

Crow again told the story of the Lord and Lady and the research at the lake. He told of the part his parents and his grandfather had played in it. He also mentioned how the Lord and Lady had taught his grandfather and the others in a secret location to go on special journeys where they would disappear and return at a later time bringing objects back with them. That’s when he floored Ellen and Rafe by saying the Lord and Lady, Tobal’s parents had told him they were still alive and needed their help.

Ellen was visibly shaken and didn’t know what to say. She finally asked how the Lord and Lady spoke to him and questioned him about his experiences. Tobal had forgotten Ellen was training as a High Priestess for the Journeyman degree and was expected to speak with the Lord and Lady. She was obviously having some trouble with the concept that the Lord and Lady were Tobal’s parents and that they were still alive as physical beings, not to mention being held prisoner in the very location the medics used as their home base.

It was shortly after that when she excused herself and the meeting was over. Crow paused, eyes wide with fear, before nodding. He went to warn his grandfather the village might be attacked and he might be in danger. Rafe stayed for a few extra minutes talking with Tobal.

Tobal wondered why Ellen felt none of the Masters could be trusted. It seemed strange since Rafe knew several of them and trusted them. Perhaps it was not the people, Rafe suggested. Perhaps it had something to do with the job of being a medic that made it dangerous to confide in them. Anyway it was a puzzle with no ready answer.

Perhaps Rafe would learn the answer when he became a Master. He was at four chevrons and could get his fifth and sixth any time. Rafe especially would be seeing Ellen on a regular basis at Journeyman circles and could get word from Tobal to her in case of an emergency. On that note they separated and went on to other things.