Homo Sapiens: In the Maelstrom by Stanislaw Przybyszewski and translated by Joe E Bandel
V.
“Are you sick, Czerski?” Olga was very worried.
Czerski stared at her. It was as if he had only now noticed that she was there.
“No, I am not sick. But what brings you to me?” “Do you want to undertake an agitation trip?” Czerski’s face suddenly brightened.
“I have been thinking about that for three days.”
“I have money for you and the instruction that you should travel immediately.” He became sullen.
“I want no instructions, I travel when I want.”
“But the money is made available to you only on the condition that you travel immediately.”
“Why immediately?”
“There is a large book transport at the Russian border that you must get to Russia in two days at the latest. They have been waiting there for a month.”
“I want to perform no services for any party. I have nothing to do with a party. I am myself a party.”
Olga looked at him thoughtfully.
“Have you really now become completely an anarchist?”
“I am neither an anarchist nor a socialist, because I myself am a party.”
“But you have views that are shared by the anarchist party.”
“That concerns me nothing, that certain views accidentally bring me close to this or that party, but for that reason I do not want to admit that this or that party claims me as its member.”
He was silent thoughtfully. “So you don’t want to?”
“Are there any other conditions attached to the money?”
“No.”
He considered.
“Well, I can for all I care transport the stuff over. But I repeat that I care nothing for instructions, that I will obey no commands, that I stand outside every party and recognize no program.”
“Those are peculiar disclosures you make to me, but I am to deliver the money to you under all circumstances.”
Czerski looked at her suspiciously.
“Tell me, Fräulein, the money was sent by Falk?” “How do you know that?”
“I spoke to him yesterday.” “You spoke to him?”
“Yes.”
He thought long.
“Falk loves his wife very much?” “Yes.”
“How can it happen that he has a mistress at the same time? I racked my brain about it all night.”
Olga looked at him a little startled. Had his mind really suffered?
“A mistress you say? That is surely not possible.” “Yes, a mistress… My former fiancée.”
“Fräulein Kruk?”
“Yes. He has a son with her. She has just risen from childbed.”
Olga became very confused. She looked at him startled, then suddenly noticed her agitation, tried to hide it, her hands trembled and she felt all the blood flow to her heart.
Czerski seemed to notice nothing. He walked up and down and brooded.
“Well, one overcomes that,” he said finally. “That is a pain, a great pain, but one overcomes it. At first, when she stopped her visits to the prison, I suffered very much… Yes, very much suffered,” he repeated thoughtfully… “But I have overcome it. It is also good so. Now nothing more stands between me and the idea…”
He was silent for a while.
“When I was released three days ago, it came over me again. Yesterday a rage against Falk suddenly seized me, I wanted to insult and abuse him, but then with a jerk I got the fear that something could step between me and the idea, and I overcame it again. It is good so, very good…”
Falk probably wants to get rid of me… He really should have no fear of me. Calm him if you meet him…
He suddenly fixed his eyes sharply on Olga.
“Do you believe that Falk sent the money to get rid of me?”
“When did you speak to him?” “Yesterday.”
“Well, then I don’t believe it at all. He was by the way only waiting for you to be released. He values you immensely.”
“But he is a scoundrel. Yes, he is a scoundrel.”
“No, he is not. He is it as little as you.” Olga spoke coldly and repellingly.
Czerski looked at her attentively for a while, but answered nothing. He walked thoughtfully up and down again.
“The forged bull from Pope Pius for agitation in the countryside was written by Falk?” he asked suddenly.
“Yes.”
“Very well done. Very well, but I don’t believe he is serious about it. He plays with the idea. He experiments. He probably wants aesthetic sensations?”
Olga was silent.
“Isn’t it? You know him very well… See, you don’t answer, you are silent… He, he… he seeks danger, I can imagine that he would go to prison with joy, not because he believed in the thing, but because he thought to find atonement for his sins in it.”
Czerski became more and more animated.
“I got letters from him earlier, many letters. Oh, he is sharp and clever. He has hate and much, perhaps very much love, I revered him, but I see now that it is all only despair. He wants to save himself, he seeks convulsively for salvation, but he can believe in nothing… Yes, he is very clever, I wanted to insult him yesterday, I forced myself to insult him, but he is clever and malicious. Yes, malicious…”
Czerski suddenly broke off. “Do you want tea?”
“Gladly.”
He prepared the tea thoughtfully.
“Have you spoken to Fräulein Kruk in the last days?”
“Yes. As soon as I came out of prison, I went to her… She doesn’t know that he is married.”
“No?” Olga started in horror.
“No! He lied. His whole life is only a chain of lies…”
Olga fell into great unrest. It became hard for her to stay longer with Czerski, she stood up.
“I can’t wait for the tea after all.”
“Oh, stay a little. I was alone for a year and a half. It is so dear to me to have a person around me.”
He looked at her pleadingly.
Olga collected herself and sat down again.
“You are very sad, Fräulein… Yes, we all expected something else from him… Hm; actually it is very good that he sent the money. How much is it?”
“Five hundred marks.”
“That is much, very much. With that one can accomplish much…” They were silent for a while.
“Is it true what Kunicki claims, that you together with Stefan Kruk broke open the city treasury near here?”
“Completely true.”
“So you approve of anarchist practice?”
“If the idea requires it, all means are holy. That is by no means an anarchist invention. By the way, we didn’t steal the money, but took it rightfully. And that is a great difference. We acted in full consciousness of the legality of our act.”
“So you say that one may steal as soon as the idea requires it?”
“No steal, no; I didn’t say that. You come there to the juridical concept of crime. But as soon as I say I do right, and as soon as I have the faith and the holy conviction that I do right, understand, a faith that allows not the slightest doubt, then the theft is precisely no theft, no crime anymore.”
“But you accuse the state of crimes. Don’t you believe that the state does everything it does with good conscience? Don’t you believe that it feels justified in delivering the working class to the exploitation of capitalism? Consequently the state is no criminal because the criterion of bad conscience is missing.”
“Subjectively the state is no criminal, provided it is convinced of the legality of its action, which I don’t believe, but it becomes it objectively because the consequences of its actions are criminal.”
“But if the motives are good, the state cannot be made responsible for the damage.”
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